Class of April 2021 Support Thread Part Three
It’s the Holidays that does it in for me. I know this connection, it happens every time. Especially being here at my parents house. It’s too close for comfort the way my mother and I react to Holidays and each other.
I mentioned I get melancholy. My mother gets stressed. And her stress comes out as a heightened, extreme need of perfection. Like, she needs perfection everyday.. in the way her home looks, how it’s cleaned, how the meal is cooked.. but it’s heightened and 10xs worse on Holidays.
So, she nitpicks, makes comments, sometimes without thinking first, and sometimes they are not very nice. And sometimes it’s personal, towards me. And when this happens, and I’m already melancholy, and have low self esteem, it’s like daggers.
So, this happened, of course, on Sunday.
The personal comment hurt. I tried to let it go, but I kept hearing it repeat in my mind, from my mother, a mother to her daughter, on Mother’s Day. I couldn’t control the inner emotional turmoil brewing inside, and it just takes over, as it always does. We had some words, it makes it worse, and now everyone is just trying to ‘get thru the day’.
Which we did. Thank goodness. And the meal turned out very good, and it was a nice family dinner. And #1- I did not drink. Even in turmoil, pretending thru dinner everything was fine, while I was hurting inside, and they opened a nice expensive bottle of Stags Leap, I did not drink.
It’s just the aftermath that follows in myself I’m dealing with now now. Feeling sorry for myself. Sad the way my life is right now. I haven’t come out of my room (other than eat and use the bathroom) since Sunday night. And I don’t feel like coming out and ‘participating in Life’ today either.😢
This too shall pass.
I have had thoughts of ‘why bother’ and just having a drink. But I have not. I know, by ‘playing the tape forward’ it’s not going to accomplish anything.
I’m just here, being accountable. Day 20.
I mentioned I get melancholy. My mother gets stressed. And her stress comes out as a heightened, extreme need of perfection. Like, she needs perfection everyday.. in the way her home looks, how it’s cleaned, how the meal is cooked.. but it’s heightened and 10xs worse on Holidays.
So, she nitpicks, makes comments, sometimes without thinking first, and sometimes they are not very nice. And sometimes it’s personal, towards me. And when this happens, and I’m already melancholy, and have low self esteem, it’s like daggers.
So, this happened, of course, on Sunday.
The personal comment hurt. I tried to let it go, but I kept hearing it repeat in my mind, from my mother, a mother to her daughter, on Mother’s Day. I couldn’t control the inner emotional turmoil brewing inside, and it just takes over, as it always does. We had some words, it makes it worse, and now everyone is just trying to ‘get thru the day’.
Which we did. Thank goodness. And the meal turned out very good, and it was a nice family dinner. And #1- I did not drink. Even in turmoil, pretending thru dinner everything was fine, while I was hurting inside, and they opened a nice expensive bottle of Stags Leap, I did not drink.
It’s just the aftermath that follows in myself I’m dealing with now now. Feeling sorry for myself. Sad the way my life is right now. I haven’t come out of my room (other than eat and use the bathroom) since Sunday night. And I don’t feel like coming out and ‘participating in Life’ today either.😢
This too shall pass.
I have had thoughts of ‘why bother’ and just having a drink. But I have not. I know, by ‘playing the tape forward’ it’s not going to accomplish anything.
I’m just here, being accountable. Day 20.
Evening everyone. Just realised I hadn't logged in here since August 2020!! Life is treating me well and I'm grateful every single day. I now have 3 years and 5 months sober and I'm so proud and grateful.
Logged on here to catch up with everyone and see if I can support others
Logged on here to catch up with everyone and see if I can support others
Member
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 60
Evening everyone, FF I am sorry about the voices and hope you get some peace. You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself by remaining sober, please hold on to that. Phebe, I’m sorry about what happened with your mother, but a huge well done for not drinking, we all know how triggering these things can be. I attended another online smart meeting this evening. The timing of the meetings is great for me, a real distraction from my usual witching hour and the tools are really useful for me too, I don’t know what day I am on but four weeks in and I’m eating better, sleeping better and thinking clearly. Wow. Hope everyone else is doing well, don’t forget to check in! Goodnight xx
(((Phebe))) well done on not drinking. Sending a big hug to you for having to endure that ❤️ You’re doing amazingly well.
Freedom I hope you get some peace.
I came really close to drinking today after a long tiring stressful day, but I managed to resist temptation. I’m safely in bed now.
Freedom I hope you get some peace.
I came really close to drinking today after a long tiring stressful day, but I managed to resist temptation. I’m safely in bed now.
Hi Everyone, I’m just checking in since I haven’t been on in a while. I have been super busy, our house is under contract and we found one in Ohio, that is beautiful and near a trail system! We are on a planned vacation at the ocean in a wonderful beach front spot. Day 25 today. Ladytron I haven’t looked into the Smart meetings yet but I’m definitely going to look into it. I have to get zoom first so I have only briefly looked into the tools on the website.
I hope everyone is doing well
I hope everyone is doing well
Member
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 60
Congratulations on the new house sober53 and have a wonderful holiday! I’m off work for two weeks, looking forward to the break. Off to transport museum for a day out with grandson tomorrow. He is four and a huge fan of any kind of vehicle lol, should fun. Found myself dancing in the kitchen this morning, and smiling. It’s the little things 😁 night everyone xx
Have you seen this thread dear Dickensen? s xx
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 60
Good morning all, well done and congratulations dickenson! So inspiring to all of us. Jo, hope you feel better from the asthma and well done on day 25! Yesterday was such a wonderful day at the museum and then a beautiful park. I’m heading into weekend 5 and I’m on leave from work for a couple of weeks too, planning to fill my time with reading, walking and precious family time. Drinking not on the agenda! Hope everyone is well, check in please xx
Hi all! Asthma still sucks but getting on with it! Heading into 4th sober weekend. Av wants to chat but I’m muting it! I love being sober and how it affects who I am. I’m just a nicer person not drunk!
Glad you had a lovely day Ladytron sounds magic!
Well done on 61 days Dickensian! Such a massive achievement!
Hope your good Phebe and Venus!
Hope everyone has an awesome day xx
Glad you had a lovely day Ladytron sounds magic!
Well done on 61 days Dickensian! Such a massive achievement!
Hope your good Phebe and Venus!
Hope everyone has an awesome day xx
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Ireland
Posts: 146
Hi everyone just checking in, I've had a productive week with our house decorating its tedious painting at times but were getting there slowly. Its day 19 for me so in 2 days it will be 3 weeks and the longest AF I've been since last year when for the 1st time ever I got to 8 weeks.
My hubby is totally on board now this week as hes scared the hell out of himself and me, hes been reading dr.google and he thinks he may have Ascites, either that or he has put on weight and a belly which he has but I never heard of it before and when I started to read about it its scared the **** out of me too..its a symptom of cirrhosis of the liver. He wont go to the doc until he is sober for a while and wants to lose some weight first, he loses weight quickly when he tries and even this week has lost a good few pounds..I dont think he has that now as I'm sure there would be other symptoms too
I think that this is it for him now he knows he needs to change for his health.
My hubby is totally on board now this week as hes scared the hell out of himself and me, hes been reading dr.google and he thinks he may have Ascites, either that or he has put on weight and a belly which he has but I never heard of it before and when I started to read about it its scared the **** out of me too..its a symptom of cirrhosis of the liver. He wont go to the doc until he is sober for a while and wants to lose some weight first, he loses weight quickly when he tries and even this week has lost a good few pounds..I dont think he has that now as I'm sure there would be other symptoms too
I think that this is it for him now he knows he needs to change for his health.
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