venuscat

I think a lot of people are feeling that way after the last year. Socially uncomfortable.
The good thing about AA meetings is that everyone gets that....even before the pandemic.

I remember this one meeting I went to in a big church when I was just a few days sober.
I didn't know anyone, and I was so scared. I almost walked straight back out, but someone came and asked if I wanted to come and get a cup of tea. So I did. And then I just took my tea and went and sat down in the circle of chairs. And somehow it was alright. s

Devizes

Hello May Flowers! 💐

I hope everyone has had a successful day.

I'm wrapping up Day 2 and feeling good here. Keeping a journal seems to be helping me by reinforcing my desire to kick this addiction for once and for all

Freedom is waiting ......

Willow00

May Flowers I love this Devizes ❤️

Willow00

Oops double post….

Thanks Dee, I appreciate your help. I ended up downloading Microsoft edge and now have the desktop version back, phew!

I’m back to day 2 after a disastrous weekend. Yesterday was truly awful. The AV got it’s claws into me and was so reluctant to let go. But I’m not giving in. I will conquer this beast that lurks inside my brain.

phoebe64

Willow.

phoebe64

Well done on two days Devizes.

I was restless this afternoon, so took a walk, did some laundry, got dinner ready early and filled my tummy. That was helpful. I even got the kitchen clean after dinner. Sometimes I’m lazy about that, even in sobriety.

Willow00

Phoebe I have to remember to go for a walk too. It really helps clear the AV out of my head

Outonthetiles

Hey Mays! Getting up early to go running. It's a pain, but I always have a great day when I start with exercise.

Free2bme888

Willow, you got this!


We both had over a year before. It felt great,right?

Lett’s do this together. I quit smoking in 1987 because I didn’t want to die suffocating. I hated the stigma, the stink, etc. Took several times to quit over the previous year to my stop date. But I REALLY wanted it. REALLY

I looked around and saw all kinds of ‘happy’ non smokers. They didn’t have urges for cigarettes. They didn’t run to the gas station and waste money on cigarettes. They didn’t have to make sure on Friday that they had enough cigs for the weekend. I hated the smell of my sweat and urine. Those people didn’t think about ‘needing’ a cig 15 times a day. I wanted freedom from that too.

And, guess what? I do!!! I’m done with that, and know if I had just one, just one (which I find repulsive), my cig addict AV would rev right up and I’d be back on death row.

Regarding alcohol, I see a lot of sad people drinking. Marketing tells them they’ll be happy. AV tells them they’ll feel better, and problems will diminish. I see sad people swallowing the marketing hook line and sinker. A good example was at the airport today on the way home, thinking of the song, “Look at all the lonely people, wishing that life would pass them by....”Awful.

I see happy/content people here on SR (biggest concentration of ‘cured’ addicts) and say they are free too, mostly, after several years of being ******free. I want that. Done being a fool and slave and being directed by an addiction. I will not let it kill me.

let’s all choose life and freedom from the chains.....

Free2bme888

I did that too this morning OOTL, 4 miles for me in 45 minutes. Not shabby for a 58 year old lady 🤓

Dee74

I'm glad you're back in connection Willow.

I'm sorry you drank tho.
I needed to have enough strategies, and enough support, and enough stubborn gumption to make sure that even when the AV got its claws into me, the outcome was not me drinking, but me staying sober.

It wasn't easy - it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it's not impossible either.

If there are things in your life feeding your addiction rather than your recovery, maybe its time to take a good hard look at those things?

D

Jo43

Morning all!

Day 17 here! I had very weird drinking dreams last night where I drank hot chocolate margaritas with gin!! Why!!! I hated tequila when I was drinking!!

Went to my second AA meeting yesterday which gave me a lift too

Now on school run then work yippee lol

Have a lovely day all! It’s sunny here! xx

Erratic

Morning all x
i ended up not going to the gym last night, i took hub advise is to take it easy as i prob burn myself out, so back to the gym tonight. I wont be going tomo as i have work thur and fri, so i booked for sat and sun for the gym.

what fun weather we are having here, woke up to snow lol but looks like rain for rest of the day, so least i will be inside the gym. Not sure what else im doing until the gym, guess better do some hoovering and get a shower x

good to see some posts and hope u all have a good day xx check in later x

Dee74

congrats Jo, Devizes, Willow, Phebe, Phoebe, letdance, Whitehorses backtogood Free, erratic Silversky DeepBlue, Becky, Cornishman and Macaroni on your milestones whatever day you're on

Devizes

Wow! Not shabby at all.... it takes me over 40 minutes to run 3... and it will probably be two years before I can run 4!! 😉

Hope everyone will do well today. Day 3 bulimia-free here for me 😊😊😊

Erratic

thanks dee x
well done devizes x i have to make sure i dont go over board and spark my ED off.
just had a bath and feel little better, just need to keep myself bz so i dont get cravings starting up later. watching an 1970s child eventure film lol

catch u all again later x

Willow00

Thanks Free and Dee
I’ll get there. I just got derailed again for a bit. My partner going through a drive through bottle shop to buy a carton took me completely by surprise. I was in the car with him and it was totally unexpected that we go there. We were parked right next to the racks of wine. He asked me did I want anything? I hadn’t had a drink for a month. And it was all over before it even began. The AV seized the moment. I wasn’t at all prepared for that one. Usually he has beer in the fridge and it doesn’t generally bother me, but I’m not usually in the car when he’s buying it at a drive thru! that was a new one, so I’ll be better prepared for that possibility in future.

I’m back to day 2 and I’m heading to bed. Determined to stay sober this time.
Goodnight all x

Dee74

I assume you’ve discussed your desire to be sober with your partner Willlow?
Does he just not ‘get it’?

D

phoebe64

I know my husband is quietly happy to have his drinking buddy resurface when I slip or relapse. He doesn’t offer to buy for me now, though. He would if I ask, and did on one of my slips.

What I have learned, and hopefully, finally accept, is that this disease is absolutely progressive. It’s just not at all the light, pleasant feeling of the early days of drinking socially. It’s more of a desperate inner struggle to find something that’s just gone, done, over. We can’t drink like that. A couple of glasses of wine is already over the recommendation for women, and useless. Drinking a whole bottle and more is obviously destroying our health.

Free2bme888

Good morning!

glad for the support here.

ok. WTH🥵😡🤬


i woke up with what feels like a HANGOVER

i should be bright, cheery —- no icky stomach, no headache.

oh well. Might be PAWS