venuscat

Congrats on Day 1 dear Kat! ❤️

Kat1313

thank you, venuscat ❤️

having tough time today recovering physically and mentally especially from drinking yesterday, but glad I posted today on SR, joined the class and recommitted to sobriety. Baby steps in the right direction, right?

venuscat

AbsoIuteIy! ❤️

Willow00

Good luck with the interview Plenny

CaptainCrow I hope the medical stuff isn’t too stressful and it all works out well

Well done on day 1 Kat

Thanks for the well wishes everyone
I’ll be ok, just feeling flat and lack lustre today. The AV is yammering away at me but I know that drinking won’t solve anything and I would only feel worse afterwards, so I’m NOT going to give in to the horrible little sucker

Jo43

Morning all. On my day 4 of no alcohol. Feel rubbish and can’t eat properly but that’s due to all the awfulness my drinking and issues have caused as well. Just got to beaver away day by day and be accountable

good luck Plenny!

I hope you have a better day Willow

Captain I really hope work gets easier for you

And Welcome Kat!! This group is fabulous and supportive just check in whenever you can!

I’m on a bus doing school run so I hope everyone has a good day wherever we are on our journey xx

Kat1313

Hi! Starting Day 2 today. Unable to sleep so I figured I would post on here so I can always refer back on my progress and struggles along the way. I am really giving it my all this time around. Takes a lot of courage to put my raw feelings out there; but, I hope it will all be worth it at the end of the day.

My anxiety is through the roof still. Due to the lack of proper sleep (or hardly any in the past 48 hours), my brain is refusing to calm down and see things for what they are. It multiples every seemingly insignificant thought by a million making me feel tons of embarrassment for relapsing the other day. I am getting a lot of support from my family but yet I am feeling not worthy of it for letting them down. Very tired and cannot bare the thought of alcohol. Zero desire to drink; posting and writing in my journal is a necessity at this point. Keeps me honest with myself and accountable for every thought and action as of yesterday.

Thank you, classmates, and I do hope your day is better than mine. If you are struggling today, I am sending lots of love and support your way. We are not alone in it and it sure feels nice to belong to a community like SR.

Kat1313

Thank you for welcoming me, Jo43!
Congrats on Day 4!

Ladytron

Morning all! Plenny, good luck with the interview hope it all goes well and you get out of the job situation you are in right now. Captain Crow, thanks for joining us and I hope your medical tests go well for you. Hugs to you Kat, I know those feelings well, hang on they will pass, please be good to yourself today, you will get better every day. It’s a beautiful day here, I am meeting my sister, had a fleeting doorstep visit with her just before Christmas and haven’t seen her since. She hasn’t seen my grandson since before COVID, boy is she in for a shock! I’m so glad I didn’t cave and buy wine last night, thanks to everyone for participating in this class and hope you all have a wonderful daty.

CaptainCrow

Thank you April class.

Kat1313 congratulations on getting day one. Day two is hard. I really admire your determination and you are absolutely doing the right things to make your way to a helpful perspective, hour by hour. Ladytron have a lovely meeting with your sister and I hope you both enjoy your grandson.

I have done my yoga and am about to start work. I am doing yoga off YouTube every morning now. It's a lovely way to start the day. Ofc I kind of mess it up because I'm still on the ciggies. But. One step at a time. I've quit the booze. Ciggies next. Sometime.

Soberwolf

Wishing everyone here 24h of peace and love to help get you all through the next 24h this isn't easy and I try not to judge anyone who struggles but hope they see the realisation of what happens when we lose our way. I've always tried to see myself as a tugboat in life's choppy waters and if I can help in some small way with real intention I really hope it makes a difference in anyone's day with whatever struggle they are facing. If you are feeling low please know we're here, well SR is 24/7 and just know the autobots will never leave your side.. ever

You can do this but realize your doing it for you nobody else, took me a while to get that through my big head.

Love to anyone who feels completely alone I'm here to tell you your not.. not by a longshot

Best wishes to all and thank you to the hearts and minds here helping constantly you provide me hope on the daily even if I don't log in as much x

Kat1313

I am so glad I finally joined the class. Wish I did it sooner. You, guys, are amazing! Patient, wise, kind, respectful, tactful and understanding. Such rare qualities in today’s world but much to be admired.

I thank you, everyone, for keeping me in your thoughts today and finding the time to offer support and encouragement. Priceless!
While changing your life for the better, you are saving mine. ❤️

Sober53

Good morning class😊 I’m on day 5 and heading into my first sober weekend in a while.

Kat my sleeping got better on day 4 hang in there, I know it’s different for everyone. In the past my sleep has always been better if I exercise so that I’m physically tired.

venuscat

phebe

Hi Aprilers🙂 I’ve been reading all your posts the past few days, and talking with Sam in their thread, “Hi, I’m new”, and thought it was time for me to jump in to the warm April pool and say hello.

I joined SR in 2013 and was part of the March 2013 class. I can’t believe it’s still going here after 8 years, how cool is that. Being a part of that group kept me sober for almost a year. And I never felt better in my body, my mind and my spirit without the daily poison.

I guess like many of you I thought I had it under control, and my health felt good, and it would be ok to have a glass of wine again. From there, it’s easy to creep back into the daily habit, but I would tell myself it’s ‘only a couple of glasses before dinner’, it’s ‘only red wine’ (or white, or rose..), it’s ‘good for you’. I would drink at the start of making dinner and it was a fun part of my day. After dinner, it was over.

Thing is, I would start planning and cooking around 3pm, basically pouring my first glass at 2:30 was typical. I’d like to have dinner on the table for the household at 6, so it was 3 hours of drinking wine for me with no food. Breakfast was typically eggs at noon, wine was basically my ‘lunch’. And the glasses sure do add up.

This seemed to be ok by me for a while. I’d even ice my wine and add seltzer sometimes and it would be a ‘spritzer’. If it’s ‘lighter’ I can get away with drinking as much as I want, right?

And that was only the ‘daily’ routine. It doesn’t count the times I’d have a few Bloody Mary’s at brunch, a few beers at a concert, cocktails with friends on the beach. Alcohol was just a part of me now, I looked forward to it and planned my days around it.

Fast forward to September 2019. My 50th Birthday. 3 days after, the love of my life that I’d been with for the past 4 years tells me he doesn’t love me anymore and it’s time to split. I’m devastated. My worst fear come true. I loved him so much, and still do. I moved out of his place and into my parents home. It’s really hard. My mom is difficult (Step dad is wonderful) and she just doesn’t understand my pain. Or my drinking, so I have to hide it. I have a cabinet in my room that I keep a box of wine. The 5 liter kind with the convenient pour spout. I take to drinking alone in my room. There really is no other way to do it, my mom would never approve of seeing me drink a couple glasses every night before dinner. My Step dad would have a beer or two, not every night and can go without, but does have one with chips or pretzels before dinner. That’s normal and fine for my mom and for him, it’s not a problem, but because my mom doesn’t drink at all unless it’s an occasion, she would look at my daily wine as a ‘no-no’.

So I hid it. And doing this made me drink harder. Like I’d have to ‘guzzle’ it, go back out in the kitchen, cook, go back to my room and guzzle more. Or stay in my room with the door closed.

And all this just got emotionally worse and worse with the pandemic that hit 7 months later. Then I lost my job. Now I’m home with her 24/7. It’s just a nightmare. And I hurt my leg and was laid up for a month, and had a tooth abscess and had to have it pulled. And I went into menopause lol. It was like one hit after another...

So I was a mess emotionally. And my body was hurting physically from all the wine.. acid reflux problems, bloating, most likely a fatty liver. And sleep was horrible and anxiety was getting worse.

This past Sunday, I never slept the night because I was having so much anxiety and feeling my heart was beating out of my chest it sent me into a panic attack that sent me to the doctor Monday. While reassuring me my heart and lungs were ok after checking them, the dr told me I needed to find better ways to handle my depression and of course the drinking is not a road to travel. Its the pandemic that kept me from seeing a therapist properly, I’m not comfortable with the ‘zoom’ way, but I need to try. Its time to get a hold on my Self, it’s time to stop isolating and drinking. I don’t want to feel this way any longer.

Well this is becoming a novel lol. But I do appreciate the chance to write it all out and share it with my fellow travelers, in hopes of healing.

Very happy to be here, in this space with you again ❤️ I’m on day 4.

venuscat

HeIIo dear phebe ~ and weIcome back.
I was in that cIass thread...stiII am.

You have been through an awfuI Iot in the Iast few years (some of which I share incIuding an injury and menopause during the pandemic).
But you never gave up.

And here you are you day 4, fighting for you again. And Ioving you again.
So very gIad you joined the group!
Onward together. ❤️

phebe

VenusCat❤️

Unfortunately, I did give up for that stretch of time. Life felt over for me. I wanted to marry my love, and my ‘life plan’ was based around being with him. To have that relationship end was like a death, a death of a life I had finally found that I desired and was building.

It’s exhausting to think of rebuilding.. AGAIN.. at 50. Who would want me now? I feel I failed at Life.. home, marriage, career, etc. How can I move on?

But I have to. There is no other choice. And I’m glad what happened to me on Monday that sent me to the Dr happened, because it was my wake up call.

Drinking is only making everything I am going thru worse. Physically and mentally. In my worse days, feelings of wanting to end it all, I knew I could never do that. I have been thru a friends suicide before (a man I was dating), and it is very difficult and hard for those left behind. I would never do it. So there is no way out of this then to go thru it.. to come out on the other side. Be strong, make good choices, find that love for life again.

Right now, Yes VenusCat, I -didn’t- give up. What a milestone! And the clarity of mind on day 4 without the wine is inspiring me❤️

Kat1313

Thank you, Sober53! I am looking forward to a restful sleep tonight. If not, I will be patient with myself knowing what I know now.
Have a wonderful sober weekend ahead!

venuscat

I stopped drinking 6 days before my 50th birthday in 2013.
And then reIapsed in 2014 so I am 6 and a haIf years sober.

I had messed up every singIe thing in my Iife. ReaIIy.
But I got sober and worked on me, and then I feII in Iove with an SR and moved to America and married him.
At 54 (my first marriage, husband Iikes to teII me it is my onIy marriage ).

So I started my Iife over. An Aussie in Ohio USA
Just saying....anything is possibIe in this Iife. xx

I am gIad you kept going through the darkest days dear phebe ~ there is so much beauty and wonder in this worId.
And we deserve to see and experience it aII. ❤️

phoebe64

Welcome Phebe. The pandemic was/is hard. I lost myself in it too, and still working on finding me again. I had a similar panic experience in January, and well, doing so much better, but still a work in progress.

phebe

Phoebe❤️

Thanks for the welcome. I guess we are going to be April ‘name twins’😁

The ‘O’... the circle of Life... will distinguish us as well as bring us together 💞