Class of December 2020 Part 3
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by venuscat 
My mum grew up in Glasgow....Allison St....I found it on Google maps.... 
She used to save her tram/bus money and walk to school in the snow....quite a ways.
And it was so cold....yet now it doesn't snow there anymore. Amazing.
She used to save her tram/bus money and walk to school in the snow....quite a ways.
And it was so cold....yet now it doesn't snow there anymore. Amazing.
just never snows in the bit of scotland i live in which is no where near glasgow about 120 miles away. too near the sea and surrounded by water. apparently it is too warm.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi Relena, sorry you are having a bad time. But you are sober and that is the best gift you can give yourself and your toddler this Christmas. We are all here for you and I hope you keep checking in. sometimes when i feel really down and come on SR and start chatting someone cheers me up
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
I appreciate it soda. I just haven't known what to say. I don't want to discourage anyone with my depressing posts.
It's just strange, because for a moment I was feeling pretty stable. My anxiety had improved, I wasn't crying at the drop of a hat. I'm frustrated and confused why i'm regressing.
It's just strange, because for a moment I was feeling pretty stable. My anxiety had improved, I wasn't crying at the drop of a hat. I'm frustrated and confused why i'm regressing.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
PLease post relena. don't keep it to yourself. no matter how bad you feel we are here for you. I don't think it's regressing just normal ups and downs of early sobriety. but it does get better, my anxiety imporved so much when i had a long period of sobriety
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
I know everyone is different, but how long would you say until yours improved? I already had anxiety and depression to begin with, for a long time so it might take a while for me.
I don't know how to deal with uncertainty. I'm like a broken record, visiting the same websites over and over looking for answers I want to read and believe. When I know the truth is no one can answer the questions I have.
I don't know how to deal with uncertainty. I'm like a broken record, visiting the same websites over and over looking for answers I want to read and believe. When I know the truth is no one can answer the questions I have.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
I felt the same way....I had no idea how to deal with uncertainty because I had always been an extremely anxious person.
Panic attacks on a regular basis. But I found out as I stayed sober that I was less anxious, eventually....it did take me awhile.
We are all different, but for me it was a couple of months until I really felt calmer and more confident that I could deal with things.
And you will be able to as well....every day we stay sober and stay in recovery we get stronger. Every day.
s ❤️
Panic attacks on a regular basis. But I found out as I stayed sober that I was less anxious, eventually....it did take me awhile.
We are all different, but for me it was a couple of months until I really felt calmer and more confident that I could deal with things.
And you will be able to as well....every day we stay sober and stay in recovery we get stronger. Every day.
s ❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Hi rellena, no words of wisdom, but I am with you on the anxiety. I know it will get better as long as I stay sober and I am working on my coping strategies in the meanwhile, like deep breathing and meditation. Be patient with yourself and proud of your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
So lovely to hear about all the Xmas traditions. And snow. Wheeeee! So so pretty.
Relena, sorry it’s tough. Right now crying is what is happening for you - it’s not wrong or “shouldn’t be” , it just is. Bet your toddler was ecstatic to have you with her and not drinking those tears dry. And watching cartoons ? Sounds kinda like toddler awesome.
So my Xmas day has been a little more challenging than I anticipated. Maybe I was getting too cocky, given is still only day 53 for me.
Started around 10am, when I got such a shock when I was totally overwhelmed by a strong urge to drink when the champagne came out with the present opening. My family has been drinking around me the whole time we have been together, so I have already been dealing with some cravings , but nothing like this one. I actually had to hold my hand away from a glass and drag myself outside into the fresh air for a bit to stop myself from sneaking off to kitchen to take a few shots of something/anything to stop my hands from shaking. But I did it. I got through it.
And later, when one of my gifts was a couple of bottles of wine (“for later when you are drinking again”), I was able to simply say “Thankyou” and immediately start making plans to regift the bottles.
But then got caught out later in day , when my rels were all three-sheets to wind, when christmas pudding time came around.
My memory of this event in my family is that provided you avoid the seriously OTT brandy butter (which I did) the rest was okay to eat. But first mouthful showed what I have previously been unaware of about my alcohol-soaked family, I guess, because usually too drunk to notice - the whole thing was basically swimming in brandy. Mouthful made me immediately want to vomit . Cannot believe this thing is fed to my kids. 🙈
So I managed to just move the Christmas pudding around the plate after first mouthful and throw rest of pudding out. effect strong though. initially in total panic/meltdown. wanted to go and throw that mouthful up and spent time trying to work out how to do that without drawing attention , given bathroom of the country shack we are in is not exactly private . when I couldn’t do that, I started thinking that well you have “f..ed it now” so why not just drink, anyway, right? But again after a little outside pacing , I regrouped and made myself go outside and play games with kids, instead.
So I know some would count this is a technical “relapse” or something, but since it was unintentional and I dealt with the potential snowball effect, without just accepting permission to drink, I am trying to see it as okay. Not resetting my count, anyway.
my rels are sleeping now and kids and I are reading/doing screen before going to beach later (with or without the others.)
Relena, sorry it’s tough. Right now crying is what is happening for you - it’s not wrong or “shouldn’t be” , it just is. Bet your toddler was ecstatic to have you with her and not drinking those tears dry. And watching cartoons ? Sounds kinda like toddler awesome.
So my Xmas day has been a little more challenging than I anticipated. Maybe I was getting too cocky, given is still only day 53 for me.
Started around 10am, when I got such a shock when I was totally overwhelmed by a strong urge to drink when the champagne came out with the present opening. My family has been drinking around me the whole time we have been together, so I have already been dealing with some cravings , but nothing like this one. I actually had to hold my hand away from a glass and drag myself outside into the fresh air for a bit to stop myself from sneaking off to kitchen to take a few shots of something/anything to stop my hands from shaking. But I did it. I got through it.
And later, when one of my gifts was a couple of bottles of wine (“for later when you are drinking again”), I was able to simply say “Thankyou” and immediately start making plans to regift the bottles.
But then got caught out later in day , when my rels were all three-sheets to wind, when christmas pudding time came around.
My memory of this event in my family is that provided you avoid the seriously OTT brandy butter (which I did) the rest was okay to eat. But first mouthful showed what I have previously been unaware of about my alcohol-soaked family, I guess, because usually too drunk to notice - the whole thing was basically swimming in brandy. Mouthful made me immediately want to vomit . Cannot believe this thing is fed to my kids. 🙈
So I managed to just move the Christmas pudding around the plate after first mouthful and throw rest of pudding out. effect strong though. initially in total panic/meltdown. wanted to go and throw that mouthful up and spent time trying to work out how to do that without drawing attention , given bathroom of the country shack we are in is not exactly private . when I couldn’t do that, I started thinking that well you have “f..ed it now” so why not just drink, anyway, right? But again after a little outside pacing , I regrouped and made myself go outside and play games with kids, instead.
So I know some would count this is a technical “relapse” or something, but since it was unintentional and I dealt with the potential snowball effect, without just accepting permission to drink, I am trying to see it as okay. Not resetting my count, anyway.
my rels are sleeping now and kids and I are reading/doing screen before going to beach later (with or without the others.)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Thats some strength right there Tanky, I'm applauding you for staying sober around all that drinking. I wouldnt personally consider it a relapse if it was me but I'd be extra vigilant after today that it didn't lead to one. With or without the bite of alcohol drenched dessert, just being around alcohol could be a huge trigger, but that's just me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 39 - Christmas Day
I remember when I started on this latest (last) sobriety journey on the 17th November. I planned out little landmarks like “at the beginning of December you will be on Day 15, Christmas Day will be Day 39 and....” - but you never really dream you’ll get there..... So this morning I feel happy and proud that I stuck to my guns, stayed off the booze, lost loads of weight, started back at the gym and caught up with my work. Please let me find this happiness forever.
Barnaby - you’re amazing and you’re a hero. I wish I had been given the brains, fortitude, capacity of heart and bravery that you show in your line of work. You should be so proud of yourself. Thank you for everything that you do.
RAL - I’ve suffered from rotator cuff damage in the past through weight training. That injury plus an AC joint separation were two painful episodes. I hope that yours don’t need surgery (I narrowly avoided it myself). Get well.
Strawberry and Red - where are you?
Bob - Enjoy your break.
Tanky - that isn’t a relapse at all. Your days are still good. Keep going.
Relena - I never suffered anxiety until this year due to lockdown. I now know how it feels. Trust me when I say it does pass. Give yourself a cuddle and reassure yourself everything will be ok (easier said than done I know.) well done for not drinking though. Good job.
To everyone else - Have a great and sober Christmas Day.
Regards & Love,
JT
I remember when I started on this latest (last) sobriety journey on the 17th November. I planned out little landmarks like “at the beginning of December you will be on Day 15, Christmas Day will be Day 39 and....” - but you never really dream you’ll get there..... So this morning I feel happy and proud that I stuck to my guns, stayed off the booze, lost loads of weight, started back at the gym and caught up with my work. Please let me find this happiness forever.
Barnaby - you’re amazing and you’re a hero. I wish I had been given the brains, fortitude, capacity of heart and bravery that you show in your line of work. You should be so proud of yourself. Thank you for everything that you do.
RAL - I’ve suffered from rotator cuff damage in the past through weight training. That injury plus an AC joint separation were two painful episodes. I hope that yours don’t need surgery (I narrowly avoided it myself). Get well.
Strawberry and Red - where are you?
Bob - Enjoy your break.
Tanky - that isn’t a relapse at all. Your days are still good. Keep going.
Relena - I never suffered anxiety until this year due to lockdown. I now know how it feels. Trust me when I say it does pass. Give yourself a cuddle and reassure yourself everything will be ok (easier said than done I know.) well done for not drinking though. Good job.
To everyone else - Have a great and sober Christmas Day.
Regards & Love,
JT
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
morning all and merry christmas from scotland.
thanks tony. the pain is horrendous. i dont even know what caused it. it just happened. very bizarre
tanky - sounds like a very challenging day. many congrats on getting through. xmas pud def not a relapse.
relena-my anxiety gets better the longer i stay sober. ups and downs in the early days but general improvement. breathing, yoga. id also recommend a book called 'think right.feel right' by r. issett.
day 20- i dont feel worried about today as it is just the 3 of us. lockdown has its advantages. the run up to xmas is the most dangerous part for me.
i hope everyone has a happy peaceful and sober day whether celebrating the day or not x
thanks tony. the pain is horrendous. i dont even know what caused it. it just happened. very bizarre
tanky - sounds like a very challenging day. many congrats on getting through. xmas pud def not a relapse.
relena-my anxiety gets better the longer i stay sober. ups and downs in the early days but general improvement. breathing, yoga. id also recommend a book called 'think right.feel right' by r. issett.
day 20- i dont feel worried about today as it is just the 3 of us. lockdown has its advantages. the run up to xmas is the most dangerous part for me.
i hope everyone has a happy peaceful and sober day whether celebrating the day or not
x
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