Class of December 2020 Part 2
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Class of December 2020 Part 2
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,760
I'll be three months sober Thursday. But I get out of the psych ward on Friday. A part of me wants to drink. But I don't want to disappoint my self and my family, and I want a sober Christmas. Just idle thoughts of drinking. Thought I'd share instead of keeping them to myself and privately indulging them. I know it's not good to secretly fantasise about drinking.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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I'll be three months sober Thursday. But I get out of the psych ward on Friday. A part of me wants to drink. But I don't want to disappoint my self and my family, and I want a sober Christmas. Just idle thoughts of drinking. Thought I'd share instead of keeping them to myself and privately indulging them. I know it's not good to secretly fantasise about drinking.
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,719
It's so weird. I don't have drinking thoughts this time around. I don't have cravings or urges, I only get the occasional pang of longing if I see someone drinking on TV. I don't know why I don't get those, but I am so happy about it. Makes things a lot easier!
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Lixie I had the same experience this time round and I'm not 9 1/2 months sober after being terrible at sobriety before. I just didn't crave in the same way, and when I did eating finished them off.
Beware - for me my AV has taken a cunning and invasive turn by being really damned sneaky at later dates. I could recognise my AV in the blatant cravings, harder to do so when I rationalized drinking. Keep close to this site, other people will spot it for you!
Beware - for me my AV has taken a cunning and invasive turn by being really damned sneaky at later dates. I could recognise my AV in the blatant cravings, harder to do so when I rationalized drinking. Keep close to this site, other people will spot it for you!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 102
Starting Day 4 feeling so low. I’m also someone who lives in Australia but is originally from Canada. I’m a bit lonely where I live now (no real friends or family) and love animals so I started fostering cats and kittens (I have 2 of my own as well). Yesterday the runt of my newest litter started showing neurological symptoms and refusing food. I was already quite concerned about him as he was developing much more slowly than his 3 brothers. I took him to the vet immediately and he had to be put down. It was awful, the vet said it was probably congenital brain malformation that he’d had all along but I feel so guilty and upset. I did so much to try and get him better but he’s gone anyway.
This on top of my latest blackout binge and the general awfulness of 2020 is just too much. I’m so depressed. I won’t drink though, probably the one thing that could make everything even worse.
This on top of my latest blackout binge and the general awfulness of 2020 is just too much. I’m so depressed. I won’t drink though, probably the one thing that could make everything even worse.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
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Originally Posted by hills 
Starting Day 4 feeling so low. I’m also someone who lives in Australia but is originally from Canada. I’m a bit lonely where I live now (no real friends or family) and love animals so I started fostering cats and kittens (I have 2 of my own as well). Yesterday the runt of my newest litter started showing neurological symptoms and refusing food. I was already quite concerned about him as he was developing much more slowly than his 3 brothers. I took him to the vet immediately and he had to be put down. It was awful, the vet said it was probably congenital brain malformation that he’d had all along but I feel so guilty and upset. I did so much to try and get him better but he’s gone anyway.
This on top of my latest blackout binge and the general awfulness of 2020 is just too much. I’m so depressed. I won’t drink though, probably the one thing that could make everything even worse.
This on top of my latest blackout binge and the general awfulness of 2020 is just too much. I’m so depressed. I won’t drink though, probably the one thing that could make everything even worse.
I am so sorry about the kitten....what you are doing is wonderful though.
I used to foster when I worked at Lost Dog's Home....
My beautiful V died because she had a brain tumour....suffice to say I couldn't let her suffer.
It wasn't my fault though, and this is not yours in any way.
I am sending love to you and the other kittens and your two cats.
s xx
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Thanks for the new thread Dee
Welcome back Zura
Lixie- I really struggle watching people drink on TV or reading about them in books. Even when I had solid sobriety time it always annoyed me. It's great you've not had strong feelings or cravings. Pretty similar here but I know they will come in time. And I need to be ready and prepared for them.
Oh Hills I'm so sorry about your kitten but you did the best you could. Cat person here too The first few days are awful up and down emotional rollercoaster.
Good to see you FF there is nothing drinking will help you with and it will only set you back. But you know this of course. can you maybe discuss this with your psych before you leave on Friday. Maybe look at getting additional support on the outside?
I have had such a busy busy day. I have not stopped and been going backwards forwards spinning round. Got so much done. Did I always have this much to do but was too hungover or lazy to do it? Am I just more productive now and sorting things out. Are new things happening because I am sober? Is life moving faster rather than in a slow blur? Just thoughts of course.
Hoping for better sleep tonight. Take care all.x
Welcome back Zura
Lixie- I really struggle watching people drink on TV or reading about them in books. Even when I had solid sobriety time it always annoyed me. It's great you've not had strong feelings or cravings. Pretty similar here but I know they will come in time. And I need to be ready and prepared for them.
Oh Hills I'm so sorry about your kitten but you did the best you could. Cat person here too
The first few days are awful up and down emotional rollercoaster.Good to see you FF
there is nothing drinking will help you with and it will only set you back. But you know this of course. can you maybe discuss this with your psych before you leave on Friday. Maybe look at getting additional support on the outside?I have had such a busy busy day. I have not stopped and been going backwards forwards spinning round. Got so much done. Did I always have this much to do but was too hungover or lazy to do it? Am I just more productive now and sorting things out. Are new things happening because I am sober? Is life moving faster rather than in a slow blur? Just thoughts of course.
Hoping for better sleep tonight. Take care all.x
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Join Date: Jun 2019
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Welcome Zura....
Hills...that must have been hard.
But you have saved the others, and you didn't drink over it.
Off and into a new day. 'Breakfast meeting' looms....the pre Christmas stupid. Really dislike this time of year.....all about kids, family and relentless spending. Everything I don't do, lol.
Drinking heavily into the new year has, obviously, been the usual go-to 'solution'.....but this year, no. Aiming for a calm glide through it this year. Keep my distance, minimal involvement....stay sober and ignore it as far as possible.
Ok....better go and get ready for the onslaught....
Hills...that must have been hard.
But you have saved the others, and you didn't drink over it.
Off and into a new day. 'Breakfast meeting' looms....the pre Christmas stupid. Really dislike this time of year.....all about kids, family and relentless spending. Everything I don't do, lol.
Drinking heavily into the new year has, obviously, been the usual go-to 'solution'.....but this year, no. Aiming for a calm glide through it this year. Keep my distance, minimal involvement....stay sober and ignore it as far as possible.
Ok....better go and get ready for the onslaught....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 231
((((Hills))))
I’m so sorry about your little kitty☹️ I hope the others will thrive and that you are good company for each other. Sorry to hear you are feeling lonely, it can difficult time of year in normal circumstances let alone in a completely different hemisphere. How long have you been here? I had my 7 year anniversary at the end of August and absolutely love living in Australia. 😁
Back to day one for me. I wrestled with my thoughts yesterday afternoon and on the way home from work I got a bottle of wine. I know what triggered me and I’m going to be more conscious of my thinking today and when I recognise the thoughts that are carrying me away I will just stop and take a moment to regroup.
I know I can do this and that I need to break out of my familiar patterns and begin trying new things and form healthy habits that support my well being and my goals.
Wishing everyone a lovely day xx
I’m so sorry about your little kitty☹️ I hope the others will thrive and that you are good company for each other. Sorry to hear you are feeling lonely, it can difficult time of year in normal circumstances let alone in a completely different hemisphere. How long have you been here? I had my 7 year anniversary at the end of August and absolutely love living in Australia. 😁
Back to day one for me. I wrestled with my thoughts yesterday afternoon and on the way home from work I got a bottle of wine. I know what triggered me and I’m going to be more conscious of my thinking today and when I recognise the thoughts that are carrying me away I will just stop and take a moment to regroup.
I know I can do this and that I need to break out of my familiar patterns and begin trying new things and form healthy habits that support my well being and my goals.
Wishing everyone a lovely day xx
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 102
Thanks for all the support everyone. I'm still processing it/spontaneously bursting into tears on and off, but at least my other 3 kittens seem to be doing well. I have had 20 cats/kittens in my care over the last 9 months or so. Logically I know little kittens can get sick and die, but you never really think it will happen.
Venus- Both of my cats were adopted from the Lost Dogs Home in North Melbourne and found their happily ever after with me and my husband.
SCK- I will have been in Australia for 7 years in July 2021. I love it but of course I miss everyone in Canada and have not been back in several years.
Tony- I know what you mean about the classes but from my perspective it is me. I've been here for years, without success, so it's me. I'm jaded I think.
Anyway, very thankful to all of you today and will express my gratitude by staying sober and supporting you.
Venus- Both of my cats were adopted from the Lost Dogs Home in North Melbourne and found their happily ever after with me and my husband.
SCK- I will have been in Australia for 7 years in July 2021. I love it but of course I miss everyone in Canada and have not been back in several years.
Tony- I know what you mean about the classes but from my perspective it is me. I've been here for years, without success, so it's me. I'm jaded I think.
Anyway, very thankful to all of you today and will express my gratitude by staying sober and supporting you.
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