Class of December 2020
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,788
Originally Posted by SunnyCoastK 
Hello!
I joined late last year and was part of the December 2019 class. I relapsed on Australia Day (on my own, not even at a bbq or at the club).
It wasn’t something I wanted to do, I just found myself walking into BWS and buying wine and felt I was on autopilot. The wine didn’t taste good but I drank it all and felt like absolute crap the next day. I don’t think I’ve made it more than five days in a row without drinking this year and I have downloaded and deleted a sobriety app countless times.
Most days after work I stop at the shops and buy cheese and crackers and wine (have cut down to 1 bottle on a weeknight) but I don’t even want any of that, I’m just compelled to do it. My sleep is never good and of course I vow to quit in the morning and then it’s lather, rinse, repeat.
I am tired of hangovers and cravings and the jumbled thoughts in my head and tired of looking at myself in the mirror and not recognising myself (have put on 20kg since moving to Australia).
I passed my citizenship test last weekend and am waiting for an invitation to a citizenship ceremony and I want to clean myself up and really enjoy my life here and to get out and experience life and make the most of whatever time I have left (hopefully another 30+ years!)
Well that’s my story. Today is day one for me.
-K
I joined late last year and was part of the December 2019 class. I relapsed on Australia Day (on my own, not even at a bbq or at the club).
It wasn’t something I wanted to do, I just found myself walking into BWS and buying wine and felt I was on autopilot. The wine didn’t taste good but I drank it all and felt like absolute crap the next day. I don’t think I’ve made it more than five days in a row without drinking this year and I have downloaded and deleted a sobriety app countless times.
Most days after work I stop at the shops and buy cheese and crackers and wine (have cut down to 1 bottle on a weeknight) but I don’t even want any of that, I’m just compelled to do it. My sleep is never good and of course I vow to quit in the morning and then it’s lather, rinse, repeat.
I am tired of hangovers and cravings and the jumbled thoughts in my head and tired of looking at myself in the mirror and not recognising myself (have put on 20kg since moving to Australia).
I passed my citizenship test last weekend and am waiting for an invitation to a citizenship ceremony and I want to clean myself up and really enjoy my life here and to get out and experience life and make the most of whatever time I have left (hopefully another 30+ years!)
Well that’s my story. Today is day one for me.
-K
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome back Hills & Sunnycoast-I can relate to the buying of wine and not really wanting it but feeling obligated to drink it. I've had that twice very recently which really made me step back and think this is ridiculous. Anyway welcome back.
Day 8. Got through the weekend which feels like a milestone. I can do it and will continue to do it. Been more productive this morning and got plans for the week ahead too.
hope everyone has a lovely Sunday x
Day 8. Got through the weekend which feels like a milestone. I can do it and will continue to do it. Been more productive this morning and got plans for the week ahead too.
hope everyone has a lovely Sunday x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,499
Originally Posted by SunnyCoastK
Hello!
I joined late last year and was part of the December 2019 class. I relapsed on Australia Day (on my own, not even at a bbq or at the club).
It wasn’t something I wanted to do, I just found myself walking into BWS and buying wine and felt I was on autopilot. The wine didn’t taste good but I drank it all and felt like absolute crap the next day. I don’t think I’ve made it more than five days in a row without drinking this year and I have downloaded and deleted a sobriety app countless times.
Most days after work I stop at the shops and buy cheese and crackers and wine (have cut down to 1 bottle on a weeknight) but I don’t even want any of that, I’m just compelled to do it. My sleep is never good and of course I vow to quit in the morning and then it’s lather, rinse, repeat.
I am tired of hangovers and cravings and the jumbled thoughts in my head and tired of looking at myself in the mirror and not recognising myself (have put on 20kg since moving to Australia).
I passed my citizenship test last weekend and am waiting for an invitation to a citizenship ceremony and I want to clean myself up and really enjoy my life here and to get out and experience life and make the most of whatever time I have left (hopefully another 30+ years!)
Well that’s my story. Today is day one for me.
-K
I joined late last year and was part of the December 2019 class. I relapsed on Australia Day (on my own, not even at a bbq or at the club).
It wasn’t something I wanted to do, I just found myself walking into BWS and buying wine and felt I was on autopilot. The wine didn’t taste good but I drank it all and felt like absolute crap the next day. I don’t think I’ve made it more than five days in a row without drinking this year and I have downloaded and deleted a sobriety app countless times.
Most days after work I stop at the shops and buy cheese and crackers and wine (have cut down to 1 bottle on a weeknight) but I don’t even want any of that, I’m just compelled to do it. My sleep is never good and of course I vow to quit in the morning and then it’s lather, rinse, repeat.
I am tired of hangovers and cravings and the jumbled thoughts in my head and tired of looking at myself in the mirror and not recognising myself (have put on 20kg since moving to Australia).
I passed my citizenship test last weekend and am waiting for an invitation to a citizenship ceremony and I want to clean myself up and really enjoy my life here and to get out and experience life and make the most of whatever time I have left (hopefully another 30+ years!)
Well that’s my story. Today is day one for me.
-K
sI moved to the US from Melbourne Aus a few years ago, and I am just getting permanent residency (hopefully) at the moment.
BWS and Aus Day and wine and cheese......yes to all of those things on my own for many years, and yes to the whole rinse repeat nightmare.
But finally saying NO to that is just so empowering.....I know you can do it!
Really glad you are back dear SunnyCoast.
s xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 231
Good morning all!
Thanks for the welcome/welcome back messages. Nice to see some familiar names and I look forward to getting to know everyone in this class.
venuscat I hope all goes well with your residency, fingers crossed! It’s such an emotional event, lots of forms to fill out, lots of waiting.
I applied on May 1st and didn’t hear anything until about three weeks ago and fortunately was able to reschedule my test/interview from mid January to 5 December.
Start of day two for me and I’m feeling good, slept ok and woke up without any problems. I usually struggle with anxiety when I’m trying to be sober for more than 1 day but I’ve done it before so I know I just have to ride it out.
Wishing everyone all the best and a great morning/afternoon/evening depending on where you are when you read this.
✨Karen
Thanks for the welcome/welcome back messages. Nice to see some familiar names and I look forward to getting to know everyone in this class.
venuscat I hope all goes well with your residency, fingers crossed! It’s such an emotional event, lots of forms to fill out, lots of waiting.
I applied on May 1st and didn’t hear anything until about three weeks ago and fortunately was able to reschedule my test/interview from mid January to 5 December.Start of day two for me and I’m feeling good, slept ok and woke up without any problems. I usually struggle with anxiety when I’m trying to be sober for more than 1 day but I’ve done it before so I know I just have to ride it out.
Wishing everyone all the best and a great morning/afternoon/evening depending on where you are when you read this.
✨Karen
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
I hope everyone is having a good day. Mine is productive so far, but literally every day I want to go buy a box of wine. I want to now. The holidays are just stressful and overwhelming for me with all I have to do on top of regular day-to-day stuff, so mentally I just want to check out with alcohol. Like sticking your head in the sand for a few hours. I'm not sure how I allowed myself to become so dependent on alcohol as a means of coping with stress and anxiety. It's just an automatic reaction at this point. And because I'm not allowing myself to have it, I'm just perpetually annoyed and frustrated because I'm forced to deal with this all head-on.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Can you get others to help do some of the seasonal work Daria? Maybe try and take a step back. Lists work for me too and just getting things in order makes things seem less overwhelming. Just think you won't wake up tomorrow and be glad you had a drink. The feelings will lessen in time.
Day 8 coming to a close.Got quite a lot done today. Off Christmas shopping and trying to get everything done tomorrow. Got a lot of stuff online but need to do the food and last minute stuff. Also bills, banking,insurances and all the little things I've let slide. IT feels better to be doing it with a clear head even though I still feel a bit numb. It's better thank drunk though.
Take care all.x
Day 8 coming to a close.Got quite a lot done today. Off Christmas shopping and trying to get everything done tomorrow. Got a lot of stuff online but need to do the food and last minute stuff. Also bills, banking,insurances and all the little things I've let slide. IT feels better to be doing it with a clear head even though I still feel a bit numb. It's better thank drunk though.
Take care all.x
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: here & there
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by DariaM
The holidays are just stressful and overwhelming for me with all I have to do on top of regular day-to-day stuff, so mentally I just want to check out with alcohol.
Sober keeps the Christmas mania at a safe distance. Realised this morning its only 11 days away.....
2 weeks and 2 weekends as of today for me. Its gone quickly. Its been good.
Still find I get tired....and sometimes sleep is still disturbed, but way better. The sinusitis, hayfever thing, has eased up a lot. At the risk of over sharing.....the skin itching seems to be fading out too. Feel calmer, much more relaxed, don't have that feeling of being overwhelmed, too much to do, etc. Have actually done a lot for work and finished one personal project. Been reading, and the few personal relationships I have seem to be pretty good. This morning, make a list of work things to be finished before Christmas.....then some time off into the new year for playing in the workshop.
Hi and welcome SunnycoastK.....I'm in Aus too, always good to have 'locals' around when all of the US is asleep.
Few ppl haven't heard from for a while....Red?, Citrus.....Strawberry? Puckluck?. Hope all is good.
Ok...off to get Monday happening.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: here & there
Posts: 268
Hi RAL
It just takes time......early days, but the bloating is the first to go I find.
Naturally, I've put on some weight, that will take a bit longer....just keep walking daily. I'm up and down a set of 21 stairs all day
every day....so usually pretty active.
You have a good day too....anyday sober and alive can't be too bad, lol
It just takes time......early days, but the bloating is the first to go I find.
Naturally, I've put on some weight, that will take a bit longer....just keep walking daily. I'm up and down a set of 21 stairs all day
every day....so usually pretty active.
You have a good day too....anyday sober and alive can't be too bad, lol
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning all
Yes definitely bloat going Soda - both facially and bodily!
Gosh Monday morning here and I have slept for 5 hours
Seems to take me ages to drop off at night. Once alseep I sleep soundly but it's the getting to sleep that's the problem. That said I've had a lot on my mind this weekend with money,bills etc so once I get stuff sorted out today that should ease.
Anyway I will stop complaining and get on with the day in my dreary state!!
Day 9 btw. Double figures tomorrow
Yes definitely bloat going Soda - both facially and bodily!
Gosh Monday morning here and I have slept for 5 hours
Seems to take me ages to drop off at night. Once alseep I sleep soundly but it's the getting to sleep that's the problem. That said I've had a lot on my mind this weekend with money,bills etc so once I get stuff sorted out today that should ease. Anyway I will stop complaining and get on with the day in my dreary state!!
Day 9 btw. Double figures tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 28
I watched some scary YouTube videos last night on alcohol addiction and abuse. In one a guy went to bed ‘normal’, woke up feeling dreadful, vomited a huge blood clot and had developed jaundice and is now waiting for a life saving liver transplant. It seems waiting to give up tomorrow is a luxury some never get the chance to fulfil?
The idea that I no longer have the option to be a bon viveur is unwelcome but it beats the ramifications detailed above. Let’s hope the message resonates to keep me mindful for long enough?
I have to say this recovery process feels very lonely. I noticed during my last period of posting that even SR has changed too? Classes no longer seem to bond in the way that they used to? Maybe that’s just my perception and it’s a consequence of having been here, seen it and done it? Or maybe it’s because we tend to get a lot more posters in the class that either haven’t ACTUALLY given up that month (they have done so before - or in some cases WAY before)? Perhaps the different timescales within posters recovery mean they are on different journeys? It used to be the case that most were on day 1-7 with each other and suffering the same sweats, sleepless nights and anxiety. I guess I’m saying classes seem more disparate nowadays?
But also I feel that my recovery is very lonely in a wider sense too? I guess - ultimately - our recovery is essentially that (lonely) and maybe I am simply more self aware that any outside crutches are only there to be kicked away from under you (how’s that for gloomy)?
These are my early morning thoughts by candlelight as I sit alone with my coffee. It’s just a stream of consciousness stamped onto the ether really.
Stay strong.
JT
I watched some scary YouTube videos last night on alcohol addiction and abuse. In one a guy went to bed ‘normal’, woke up feeling dreadful, vomited a huge blood clot and had developed jaundice and is now waiting for a life saving liver transplant. It seems waiting to give up tomorrow is a luxury some never get the chance to fulfil?
The idea that I no longer have the option to be a bon viveur is unwelcome but it beats the ramifications detailed above. Let’s hope the message resonates to keep me mindful for long enough?
I have to say this recovery process feels very lonely. I noticed during my last period of posting that even SR has changed too? Classes no longer seem to bond in the way that they used to? Maybe that’s just my perception and it’s a consequence of having been here, seen it and done it? Or maybe it’s because we tend to get a lot more posters in the class that either haven’t ACTUALLY given up that month (they have done so before - or in some cases WAY before)? Perhaps the different timescales within posters recovery mean they are on different journeys? It used to be the case that most were on day 1-7 with each other and suffering the same sweats, sleepless nights and anxiety. I guess I’m saying classes seem more disparate nowadays?
But also I feel that my recovery is very lonely in a wider sense too? I guess - ultimately - our recovery is essentially that (lonely) and maybe I am simply more self aware that any outside crutches are only there to be kicked away from under you (how’s that for gloomy)?
These are my early morning thoughts by candlelight as I sit alone with my coffee. It’s just a stream of consciousness stamped onto the ether really.
Stay strong.
JT
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