Class of April 2018 Part 15
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
afternoon x went and did my bit and then came home to bed. woke up to phone ringing once then thought if important they will ring back, yup rang back and it was my CPN phoning and i thought it was 3 not 2pm nvm, spoke to him about how i am feeling just now which im not feeling that great and he asked if there was anything i can do to put inplace to keep me safe, i said never had before, so at them moment i think since yesterday i have this flat feeling and anyway cant explain it. least i made a funny joke, this was him after saying if i felt like taking a leap off my veranda would i consider going into another room or out and my reply was yeah i could go out and play with the traffic. guess when in this mood i do become child like, but hey ho it is what it is and nothing can be done just now. oh i also have yet another pysciatrist which other one i never even got to meet as they have put her in a ward and now another who i prob wont ever meet. nvm thats my part of my day.
see u all later x
see u all later x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Doesn't sound like yesterday was one of your best days Erratic, it can be a bit of a challenge when you you don't have the same person dealing with your issues throughout. I hope today is a better one for you, just take each one as it comes.
Lots of love to you all xx
Lots of love to you all xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi all.
Awww Erratic, i can really identify with those flat feelings. I was very very emotionally up and down in those early days and weeks. Just remember to keep it in the day only and this those feelings will pass. You are eliminating a powerful toxin from your body and also your mind. We didn't become the way we were overnight and we don't become the way we want to be overnight either but every single day you do not take a drink is a step in the right direction and we are all here for you ♥️♥️♥️
Getting Seren back tomorrow after 5 nights of her being at her dads.i am so excited to see her. I have missed her so much!!
I've been really working on my recovery and everyday I am feeling more spiritually connected to my Higher Power and right now I am feeling peace and serenity. Wow. It is amazing. I never ever had oeace and serenity even before i started drinking. It is a feeling that nothing external can give to me. Alcohol, shopping, food, men. I was searching in all the wrong places and I was searching for the wrong feeling. I was looking for a buzz, a thrill, that rush of dopamine. When really it was peace and serenity i was after all along. And just for today I have it.
I am so grateful to be going to bed clean and sober. Full of love and faith and hope.
Erratic, you can do this. Right by your side my darling.
Lots of love and night to you all (morning to Dee!!!)
Awww Erratic, i can really identify with those flat feelings. I was very very emotionally up and down in those early days and weeks. Just remember to keep it in the day only and this those feelings will pass. You are eliminating a powerful toxin from your body and also your mind. We didn't become the way we were overnight and we don't become the way we want to be overnight either but every single day you do not take a drink is a step in the right direction and we are all here for you ♥️♥️♥️
Getting Seren back tomorrow after 5 nights of her being at her dads.i am so excited to see her. I have missed her so much!!
I've been really working on my recovery and everyday I am feeling more spiritually connected to my Higher Power and right now I am feeling peace and serenity. Wow. It is amazing. I never ever had oeace and serenity even before i started drinking. It is a feeling that nothing external can give to me. Alcohol, shopping, food, men. I was searching in all the wrong places and I was searching for the wrong feeling. I was looking for a buzz, a thrill, that rush of dopamine. When really it was peace and serenity i was after all along. And just for today I have it.
I am so grateful to be going to bed clean and sober. Full of love and faith and hope.
Erratic, you can do this. Right by your side my darling.
Lots of love and night to you all (morning to Dee!!!)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
I hope you've got a treat planned for you and Seren Suze, I bet she can't wait to see you too.
I love your response to Erratic and it is wonderful to be going to bed clean & sober, nothing else compares.
Erratic, you have Suze and myself right by your side so get well quickly,
Love to all of you xxx
I love your response to Erratic and it is wonderful to be going to bed clean & sober, nothing else compares.
Erratic, you have Suze and myself right by your side so get well quickly,
Love to all of you xxx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning x thanks lovlies. day 5 and i dont need to go down to that clinic as was given everything for the weekend yesterday. I also got some anti craving stuff aswell. i have a slight craving yesterday early evening but i crushed that by starting my anti craving and my withdrawel tablets. also yeah my printer turned up just in time so i can start doing these questions and really look into myself more. wasnt sure or if allowed to say which course and stuff i am looking into and paying for, but here i will and dear dee u can decide if u need to score it out xxx i am doing this naked mind by annie grace which she started doing 30 day experiment but i am doing this thing called the path, which is really making me think about things which also asks me to do alot of mindful thinking. so i just printed of my first part of this course. thanks for all your encouragment and u all will be my friends and be my month and first point of call xx
i am still struggling to keep awake or find anything to concentate on ie, tv, but i am still reading a little. just trying to find some physical push now, hub wants to do walking but still finding that hard with out my old babies. nvm i have no work this morn as i booked it off for this detox and off away to get cup of tea. xx
glad ur getting daughter back snitch i bet ur missing her xx daisy is right better plan something good for her when coming home x
dee i know i have ur back also, thanks luv u always have helped me xxx love to u all x i might join the sept group aswell now that i have 5 days behind me, i will see as i know i have to watch i dont get overwhelmed xxxx
see u later have a great day xx
i am still struggling to keep awake or find anything to concentate on ie, tv, but i am still reading a little. just trying to find some physical push now, hub wants to do walking but still finding that hard with out my old babies. nvm i have no work this morn as i booked it off for this detox and off away to get cup of tea. xx
glad ur getting daughter back snitch i bet ur missing her xx daisy is right better plan something good for her when coming home x
dee i know i have ur back also, thanks luv u always have helped me xxx love to u all x i might join the sept group aswell now that i have 5 days behind me, i will see as i know i have to watch i dont get overwhelmed xxxx
see u later have a great day xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Aww Erraric bless you. I am super proud of you for taking these steps so you can get well and get the life that Erratic deserves because you are worth it. We are all worth it!
It sounds very interesting and I look forward to hearing more about your journey and of course we are all here for you every step of the way.
Seren is back yey. I am awake as she has a cold and just woke up all blocked and a but under it. I gave her some calpol and put some vicks on her and she is now snoring away and I am awake! But that is ok I can read around the site a bit .
Xx
It sounds very interesting and I look forward to hearing more about your journey and of course we are all here for you every step of the way.
Seren is back yey. I am awake as she has a cold and just woke up all blocked and a but under it. I gave her some calpol and put some vicks on her and she is now snoring away and I am awake! But that is ok I can read around the site a bit .
Xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning Aprils and a happy Saturday to you all, I hope as always, that you are well, happy & sober. My town has had a big increase in Covid 19 over the last couple of weeks and we've gone from being one of the safest places to being in the top 6 highest numbers of people having the virus 
. We've got new restrictions starting from next Tuesday ( like nothing will happen between now and then!! ) We're not allowed to socialise outside of our own households or support bubbles in private homes or gardens. all pubs and restaurants will shut between 10 p.m and 5 a.m, with only table service being permitted during opening times. Public transport to be used only if absolutely essential and no spectators at sports fixtures. It won't make a great deal of difference to me to be honest and it's all so contradictory anyway, but let's not go into that here.
Erratic, you're sounding so much better already and well done by squashing those cravings. I remember being constantly fatigued in the early days of my stopping drinking and the best advice I give about that is to just listen to what your body is telling you, sleep when you need to, eat as well as you can, drink as much water as you can stomach to re-hydrate and do try and get some exercise, even if it's only a little walk round the block, because it really does help unravel the ball of wool in your head. If you really can't bring yourself to go for a walk, you could throw yourself into your gardening, even if it's only for 30 minutes per day. I know you've been getting into gardening and it's bulb planting time now for the spring, a bit of digging is very therapeutic. You could have the loveliest garden in your street before you know it.
Morning Suze, I hope Seren is soon better from her cold, I bet she caught that at school, mixing with all those germs again. I hope you don't catch it too. Enjoy your weekend whatever you do.
Have a great weekend too Dee, enjoy and stay safe.
Lots of love to you all. xxx
. We've got new restrictions starting from next Tuesday ( like nothing will happen between now and then!! ) We're not allowed to socialise outside of our own households or support bubbles in private homes or gardens. all pubs and restaurants will shut between 10 p.m and 5 a.m, with only table service being permitted during opening times. Public transport to be used only if absolutely essential and no spectators at sports fixtures. It won't make a great deal of difference to me to be honest and it's all so contradictory anyway, but let's not go into that here.Erratic, you're sounding so much better already and well done by squashing those cravings. I remember being constantly fatigued in the early days of my stopping drinking and the best advice I give about that is to just listen to what your body is telling you, sleep when you need to, eat as well as you can, drink as much water as you can stomach to re-hydrate and do try and get some exercise, even if it's only a little walk round the block, because it really does help unravel the ball of wool in your head. If you really can't bring yourself to go for a walk, you could throw yourself into your gardening, even if it's only for 30 minutes per day. I know you've been getting into gardening and it's bulb planting time now for the spring, a bit of digging is very therapeutic. You could have the loveliest garden in your street before you know it.
Morning Suze, I hope Seren is soon better from her cold, I bet she caught that at school, mixing with all those germs again. I hope you don't catch it too. Enjoy your weekend whatever you do.
Have a great weekend too Dee, enjoy and stay safe.
Lots of love to you all. xxx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning all, was up really early this morn x
sry to hear poor seren is feeling poorly x and thanks for your encouragment x
daisy also thanks for your encouragment x i hear u on the more restrictions, but i can see that we all may get lockdown down if the restrictions in other places aswell is not working. We was going to be going down to daughter in 3rs week of oct, but we changed it as my hub is going to go down and get her and gsons and bring them here for a little while so she can see her nan, as we are not sure when daughter will be able to bring up the kids again to see her or even daughter if anything happens to her as she has been told has heart failar but is away to get echo cardio thing, but this could be last opotunity to let her see izzy and will and daughter. this is my hubs mum, she doesnt talk to me and not really going to get into it. however my own parents havent spoken to me since june either,so me being sober alot of things is going through my head.
yesterday around lunch and then dinner time i had slight craving and was bit childish which comes about when i have time off drink and my inner child comes out to play, meaning eating disorder and other stuff, but trying to get a grip on it.
nvm another day and got through my first friday with out drink and back to work on sunday.
hope u all have good day, and its day 6 xx
sry to hear poor seren is feeling poorly x and thanks for your encouragment x
daisy also thanks for your encouragment x i hear u on the more restrictions, but i can see that we all may get lockdown down if the restrictions in other places aswell is not working. We was going to be going down to daughter in 3rs week of oct, but we changed it as my hub is going to go down and get her and gsons and bring them here for a little while so she can see her nan, as we are not sure when daughter will be able to bring up the kids again to see her or even daughter if anything happens to her as she has been told has heart failar but is away to get echo cardio thing, but this could be last opotunity to let her see izzy and will and daughter. this is my hubs mum, she doesnt talk to me and not really going to get into it. however my own parents havent spoken to me since june either,so me being sober alot of things is going through my head.
yesterday around lunch and then dinner time i had slight craving and was bit childish which comes about when i have time off drink and my inner child comes out to play, meaning eating disorder and other stuff, but trying to get a grip on it.
nvm another day and got through my first friday with out drink and back to work on sunday.
hope u all have good day, and its day 6 xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Erratic, there's talk here about us going into hard lock down again for 2 weeks in October, to cover the school holidays, it wouldn't surprise me if it happens, we'll see.
I'm sorry that you're on a bit of a downer but it is very normal in early recovery, it's a massive roller coaster of emotions. All I can say is remember that it is one day at a time, baby steps all the way. I'm sorry about everything that is going on with your family, but you need to make your sobriety your main focus and for once you need to concentrate on you. Things always have a way of working out.
Hey, you have a whole week tomorrow, how good is that? Well done.
Hello to the rest of you and have a good weekend.
Lots of love to you. xx
I'm sorry that you're on a bit of a downer but it is very normal in early recovery, it's a massive roller coaster of emotions. All I can say is remember that it is one day at a time, baby steps all the way. I'm sorry about everything that is going on with your family, but you need to make your sobriety your main focus and for once you need to concentrate on you. Things always have a way of working out.
Hey, you have a whole week tomorrow, how good is that? Well done.
Hello to the rest of you and have a good weekend.
Lots of love to you. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi guys, how has everyone's sunday been?
How are you feeling today erratic?
Yes i felt in a slump alot in early recovery and basically spent most of it just looking forward to getting into bed early. You are depriving your brain from it's life force and it will take time to heal. Be patienet. Don't think too far ahead. Just get through today as best as you can and repeat the same the next day.
Boris is meant to be making a decision this weekend isn't he Daisy so lets see what is revealed tomorrow!!!
Ive had a good day. My mood has been up today and I have felt quite proactive. I still get days when I feel I am wading through treacle but today has been good. I am 2 weeks in to the overeaters anonymous programme and i haven't had any sugar at all. Nor wheat/gluten products nor fast food. Today I really had cravings for sweets and chocolates. Sundays used to be a day for wine and later became a day for sweets and treats! I prayed and then got up and gave my guinea pig's cage a thorough clean and put our dinner on. Just sat down and ate and hmmm its eased up but still on me a bit. We had a sleepover last night at a friends and a late night so just going to wash up and then get an early night!!
So am off to do the washing up then chill in bed then sleep!
Have a lovely evening everyone xxx
How are you feeling today erratic?
Yes i felt in a slump alot in early recovery and basically spent most of it just looking forward to getting into bed early. You are depriving your brain from it's life force and it will take time to heal. Be patienet. Don't think too far ahead. Just get through today as best as you can and repeat the same the next day.
Boris is meant to be making a decision this weekend isn't he Daisy so lets see what is revealed tomorrow!!!
Ive had a good day. My mood has been up today and I have felt quite proactive. I still get days when I feel I am wading through treacle but today has been good. I am 2 weeks in to the overeaters anonymous programme and i haven't had any sugar at all. Nor wheat/gluten products nor fast food. Today I really had cravings for sweets and chocolates. Sundays used to be a day for wine and later became a day for sweets and treats! I prayed and then got up and gave my guinea pig's cage a thorough clean and put our dinner on. Just sat down and ate and hmmm its eased up but still on me a bit. We had a sleepover last night at a friends and a late night so just going to wash up and then get an early night!!
So am off to do the washing up then chill in bed then sleep!
Have a lovely evening everyone xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hope you're okay Erratic, thinking about you. xx
Hi Suze, I don't know if Boris announced anything today, if he did I missed it, oops. I've noticed though over the last few days that people have started panic buying again, don't they ever learn?
Sounds like you had a great day and you sound like you're in a good place, which is fabulous.
I hope you have a good nights sleep. I'm off to bed myself in a minute.
Have yourself a good day Dee.
Goodnight Aprils with love to all of you. xxx
Hi Suze, I don't know if Boris announced anything today, if he did I missed it, oops. I've noticed though over the last few days that people have started panic buying again, don't they ever learn?
Sounds like you had a great day and you sound like you're in a good place, which is fabulous.
I hope you have a good nights sleep. I'm off to bed myself in a minute.
Have yourself a good day Dee.
Goodnight Aprils with love to all of you. xxx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning x just sitting around waiting for carpet fitters to arrive, had to chase them up as when phoned on friday about sofa and that, found out they aint coming until 29th oct!!! noone bothered to phone us or tell us a reason, so made sure lady sent email to vender and then vender to manufacturer to explain why its not the 18th of sept like agreed hense why we booked carpet to be done today and they was going to hold the stuff. so really peeved off with that, so wont find out until manufacturer gets back to vender and then back to fn shop! grrrrr so thats my moan for today.
other than that, went to work yesterday and still feeling in a slump.
good to see u both posting guess we will see what happens if we go for lockdown again or not. thanks both of you asking how i am and undestanding xxx
well going to leave it there, think go have a cup of tea and take my tablets xx hugs to u all, your all amazing by the way and im really glad i got you all xx
other than that, went to work yesterday and still feeling in a slump.
good to see u both posting guess we will see what happens if we go for lockdown again or not. thanks both of you asking how i am and undestanding xxx
well going to leave it there, think go have a cup of tea and take my tablets xx hugs to u all, your all amazing by the way and im really glad i got you all xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning all, I'm getting an early one in today. I hope you're all well.
What a pain Erratic, they will blame the delay on the virus, we got a new shed delivered last Wednesday that we ordered at the end of May, when we ordered it we were told it would be a 3 week wait, so we emptied the old shed, got rid of it and had the contents of it such as the lawn mower and garden tools covered with plastic sheeting, ladders and stuff in the spare bedroom etc, it's been driving me nuts.It's all in the new shed now. I'm trying to get an electrician now to put a light in it and a couple of sockets but they are struggling to get the materials because of the virus.Big sigh.
Boris is going to make an announcement today, I feel a heavy lock down in my bones.
I'm just about to make a 2nd cup of tea so get your kettle on and have one with me. Oh and you're pretty amazing yourself. xx
Hi Dee, Suze & Viper, have a good day/night.
Lots of love to you all. xx
What a pain Erratic, they will blame the delay on the virus, we got a new shed delivered last Wednesday that we ordered at the end of May, when we ordered it we were told it would be a 3 week wait, so we emptied the old shed, got rid of it and had the contents of it such as the lawn mower and garden tools covered with plastic sheeting, ladders and stuff in the spare bedroom etc, it's been driving me nuts.It's all in the new shed now. I'm trying to get an electrician now to put a light in it and a couple of sockets but they are struggling to get the materials because of the virus.Big sigh.
Boris is going to make an announcement today, I feel a heavy lock down in my bones.
I'm just about to make a 2nd cup of tea so get your kettle on and have one with me. Oh and you're pretty amazing yourself. xx
Hi Dee, Suze & Viper, have a good day/night.
Lots of love to you all. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning.
Aghhh I hear your frustration Erratic and yours Daisy. Sometimes I wish things woukd just run smoothly but I always seem to be having to chase up stuff and it shouldn't be lke that. Remember the Serenity Prayer!
Ok, so no talking about politics (!) How do the new guidelines affect you guys? Obv we dont go to pubs woo hoo so that ine diesn't affect us! I am just keepi g my side of the street clean, making sure I wear my mask when I am out and the only way it really "affects" me and Seren is not gathering in groups of 6 or more so we will just meet with certain friends on their own jnstead of a big group. Wirh my family yes it will mean only 6 of us getting together at a time but to be honest my brother diesn't make any effort to meet or arrange to bring my neice and nephew around when we are there so its not going to really matter if we fo to my mum and dads and don't see them (thats a resentment I am working on at the moment lol).
This time around with covid I just want to make sure Seren and I are as safe as possible and to do the right thing by my fellow citizens. My crazy friend thinks its all a conspiracy theory and even yesterday invited us round to hers when there would be more than 6. I am actually distancibg myself from her now. Its taken me a long time (as always!) To realise she isn't the best person for me to be hanging around with and her total disregard for covid meausres just p#$#es me off. Its been lovely the last 2 days just spending time with Seren at home and I really want to do it more!
Other than that all ok. Been doing more sorting and clearing out. When i get my redundancy money I am going to get my walls plastered and decorate and get a new sofa too. So I am trying to declutter and clean ready for it. The more recovery I do the less "stuff" I want although saying that I do have my eye on a lush new pair of boots hahaha. Progress not perfection right?!
Recovery is going well, am so happy I am not flying, my mum's treatment seems to be going well and the side effects of her chemo are no where nearly as bad as what I (and she) thought they would be. My relationship with Seren's dad is good, my boundaries are really in place and it bloody works! I am not drinking so rjust for today everything in snitch's life is good!!
Oh and did I tell you that I am back friends again with my old bestie whom I had a physical fight with when drinking? She came round for a tea the other day and we had a lovely chat in my garden. She is a drinker although not like me so things will never be like they were but I am happy to have her back in my life. I am really blessed actually. This stuff works!
My lovely friend is taking Seren to school for me today as although I can walk on my ankle, school is a bit too far for me to walk at the moment. I really do have lovely friends.!!
Have a lovely day everyone
Xxxx
Aghhh I hear your frustration Erratic and yours Daisy. Sometimes I wish things woukd just run smoothly but I always seem to be having to chase up stuff and it shouldn't be lke that. Remember the Serenity Prayer!
Ok, so no talking about politics (!) How do the new guidelines affect you guys? Obv we dont go to pubs woo hoo so that ine diesn't affect us! I am just keepi g my side of the street clean, making sure I wear my mask when I am out and the only way it really "affects" me and Seren is not gathering in groups of 6 or more so we will just meet with certain friends on their own jnstead of a big group. Wirh my family yes it will mean only 6 of us getting together at a time but to be honest my brother diesn't make any effort to meet or arrange to bring my neice and nephew around when we are there so its not going to really matter if we fo to my mum and dads and don't see them (thats a resentment I am working on at the moment lol).
This time around with covid I just want to make sure Seren and I are as safe as possible and to do the right thing by my fellow citizens. My crazy friend thinks its all a conspiracy theory and even yesterday invited us round to hers when there would be more than 6. I am actually distancibg myself from her now. Its taken me a long time (as always!) To realise she isn't the best person for me to be hanging around with and her total disregard for covid meausres just p#$#es me off. Its been lovely the last 2 days just spending time with Seren at home and I really want to do it more!
Other than that all ok. Been doing more sorting and clearing out. When i get my redundancy money I am going to get my walls plastered and decorate and get a new sofa too. So I am trying to declutter and clean ready for it. The more recovery I do the less "stuff" I want although saying that I do have my eye on a lush new pair of boots hahaha. Progress not perfection right?!
Recovery is going well, am so happy I am not flying, my mum's treatment seems to be going well and the side effects of her chemo are no where nearly as bad as what I (and she) thought they would be. My relationship with Seren's dad is good, my boundaries are really in place and it bloody works! I am not drinking so rjust for today everything in snitch's life is good!!
Oh and did I tell you that I am back friends again with my old bestie whom I had a physical fight with when drinking? She came round for a tea the other day and we had a lovely chat in my garden. She is a drinker although not like me so things will never be like they were but I am happy to have her back in my life. I am really blessed actually. This stuff works!
My lovely friend is taking Seren to school for me today as although I can walk on my ankle, school is a bit too far for me to walk at the moment. I really do have lovely friends.!!
Have a lovely day everyone
Xxxx
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