24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 495
I'd like to add another day to that. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,037
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife 
Thank you for always remembering my milestone sweet Suze. Grateful for SR and for my sobriety today. I have had a handful of epiphanies lately and the most recent one is that I am sober but not recovered. I still have a long way to go, to be the emotionally intelligent person I long to be. I am still very reactive to stressful situations at home and still very much uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. I still seek solace in food and other numbing behaviors. I still act like the 15 year old I was when I first started using. I just turned 44.
How many more years until I am finally the me I want to be? What will it take?
I am currently looking at Refuge Recovery meeting for the second time. I attend some in person meetings last year but didn’t like them or the person who was in charge. Going to see if I can do something online.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I know I’m not here very often so I don’t expect all of you to know me. I used to post daily- this site is the only thing that got me sober. But I rarely have time now and don’t even get on my laptop much anymore. I’ve been a single mom for a month now and it is no joke.
but I’m happy to be free of the misery that was a nine year marriage.
Freedom is my desire, in all aspects of my life.
May we all be free from suffering.
How many more years until I am finally the me I want to be? What will it take?
I am currently looking at Refuge Recovery meeting for the second time. I attend some in person meetings last year but didn’t like them or the person who was in charge. Going to see if I can do something online.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I know I’m not here very often so I don’t expect all of you to know me. I used to post daily- this site is the only thing that got me sober. But I rarely have time now and don’t even get on my laptop much anymore. I’ve been a single mom for a month now and it is no joke.
but I’m happy to be free of the misery that was a nine year marriage.
Freedom is my desire, in all aspects of my life.
May we all be free from suffering.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,037
Originally Posted by kenton
Willow, you might have had an unsettled night last night because of the full moon. The energy of the moon is really intense right now.... And this can cause heightened anxiety. Hope you are feeling better now. I'm in bed about to fall asleep so I guess your Tuesday has already started. I hope you have a great day over there in the future!
Congratulations to everyone celebrating milestones. Lovely to hear from you Sunny and JoJo. Still thinking about you Nic and sending you lots of love. Hope today has been a better day James.
I had some exciting news today. A literary agent has expressed interest in my novel!! Holy moly. This is big news for me. I mean, it might not lead to anything.... It probably won't lead to anything .... But anyone who reads my posts will know that I have had billions of rejections when it comes to my writing, ok... So, maybe not billions but I have been rejected A LOT. But I love writing so much and I just keep dreaming that maybe one day I won't be rejected so I keep trying .... I'm a deluded optimist. Anyway, now an agent has expressed interest. She isn't offering me representation but she has taken the time to read my novel twice and tell me the areas that require some more work. Once I've made the improvements, she wants to look at it again. So, it's not much but it's something and I'm excited. And I can't wait to make the changes .... My mind is buzzing with ideas. I sat by the sea for an hour earlier and rewrote my entire first chapter in my mind. I've become a person who sits quietly on the sand, stares at the sea and thinks. In silence. This is an unbelievable turn of events. A few short years ago, I never did anything silently. I fell out of bars, drank myself into blackout and talked endless amounts of nonsense at regular intervals .... Sitting still and silently thinking never really made it onto my radar. Until now. I am so much happier now. I feel like I'm being the person I was always supposed to be. The falling out of bars person was an intruder - this is the real me. Thank you sobriety for introducing me to me. Love to everyone and 24 more for me please xxxx
Congratulations to everyone celebrating milestones. Lovely to hear from you Sunny and JoJo. Still thinking about you Nic and sending you lots of love. Hope today has been a better day James.
I had some exciting news today. A literary agent has expressed interest in my novel!! Holy moly. This is big news for me. I mean, it might not lead to anything.... It probably won't lead to anything .... But anyone who reads my posts will know that I have had billions of rejections when it comes to my writing, ok... So, maybe not billions but I have been rejected A LOT. But I love writing so much and I just keep dreaming that maybe one day I won't be rejected so I keep trying .... I'm a deluded optimist. Anyway, now an agent has expressed interest. She isn't offering me representation but she has taken the time to read my novel twice and tell me the areas that require some more work. Once I've made the improvements, she wants to look at it again. So, it's not much but it's something and I'm excited. And I can't wait to make the changes .... My mind is buzzing with ideas. I sat by the sea for an hour earlier and rewrote my entire first chapter in my mind. I've become a person who sits quietly on the sand, stares at the sea and thinks. In silence. This is an unbelievable turn of events. A few short years ago, I never did anything silently. I fell out of bars, drank myself into blackout and talked endless amounts of nonsense at regular intervals .... Sitting still and silently thinking never really made it onto my radar. Until now. I am so much happier now. I feel like I'm being the person I was always supposed to be. The falling out of bars person was an intruder - this is the real me. Thank you sobriety for introducing me to me. Love to everyone and 24 more for me please xxxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Well work is finished for another Saturday thankfully. Now i just need to get through the dreaded Saturday night alcohol free. I am determined that I will and my Son has even cancelled his plans with friends so that I'm not alone tonight.
I've had an eventful week. I landed up in emergency on Tuesday night after drinking 2 bottles of wine. That's not why I was admitted- I had acute pain that developed suddenly and rapidly and i was screaming in agony. My Son called an ambulance (much to my disgust)and after they arrived I was refusing to go with them. I was just so embarrassed and humiliated, and it really hit home about how ridiculous it was having liver mets and here I am poisoning my liver even more. It really wasn't my finest moment at all. The paramedics were firm but very kind, and told me that they would not be leaving without me so i either go with them now or later. I decided to shut up and went with them!
I was taken to the local hospital where I was admitted for the night, given pain relief, more scans and a very long lecture from an amazing emergency doctor. He wasn't judgemental and didn't chastise me like me own specialist did recently. He even told me that his Sister is an alcoholic with a few months sobriety. As busy as they were that night, This doctor sat by my bedside holding my hand for about 4 hours. He told me about a podcast that helped his Sister (Craig Beck) even downloading it on my phone for me. The scale of the kindness shown that night has overwhelmed me. He even went as far as calling my Son to check he is ok, and wasn't too traumatised by the nights events. I never felt any pity from him which is important to me. It just doesn't help. But he gave me hope. So I decided that I would pull my head in and give myself a chance. Even though my diagnosis is not ideal at all, I still have so many options left. It sounds like I will be having surgery on my liver and possibly the lung too depending on what the specialist says next Tuesday.
Another thing that i will offload/vent about. My oldest son Jordan has been pulled from training and deployed to Melbourne to do Covid duties, making sure that those who are meant to be self isolating, are. I knew that the Defence force had been called in, but I presumed as he still has 6 months left of training he would be exempt. This is out of my control so I just have to let it be. He seems rather excited (typical 20 year old boy!!). I am less so obviously. I just hope they take all necessary precautions.
Anyway, it sounds like it has been a tough week for a few of the 24'ers. Hopefully next week will be better for everyone.
Sorry, this has turned into yet another essay. I don't do things by halves do i- I'm either missing for months or babbling away!!
So much love to all of you. 4pm Perth xx
I've had an eventful week. I landed up in emergency on Tuesday night after drinking 2 bottles of wine. That's not why I was admitted- I had acute pain that developed suddenly and rapidly and i was screaming in agony. My Son called an ambulance (much to my disgust)and after they arrived I was refusing to go with them. I was just so embarrassed and humiliated, and it really hit home about how ridiculous it was having liver mets and here I am poisoning my liver even more. It really wasn't my finest moment at all. The paramedics were firm but very kind, and told me that they would not be leaving without me so i either go with them now or later. I decided to shut up and went with them!
I was taken to the local hospital where I was admitted for the night, given pain relief, more scans and a very long lecture from an amazing emergency doctor. He wasn't judgemental and didn't chastise me like me own specialist did recently. He even told me that his Sister is an alcoholic with a few months sobriety. As busy as they were that night, This doctor sat by my bedside holding my hand for about 4 hours. He told me about a podcast that helped his Sister (Craig Beck) even downloading it on my phone for me. The scale of the kindness shown that night has overwhelmed me. He even went as far as calling my Son to check he is ok, and wasn't too traumatised by the nights events. I never felt any pity from him which is important to me. It just doesn't help. But he gave me hope. So I decided that I would pull my head in and give myself a chance. Even though my diagnosis is not ideal at all, I still have so many options left. It sounds like I will be having surgery on my liver and possibly the lung too depending on what the specialist says next Tuesday.
Another thing that i will offload/vent about. My oldest son Jordan has been pulled from training and deployed to Melbourne to do Covid duties, making sure that those who are meant to be self isolating, are. I knew that the Defence force had been called in, but I presumed as he still has 6 months left of training he would be exempt. This is out of my control so I just have to let it be. He seems rather excited (typical 20 year old boy!!). I am less so obviously. I just hope they take all necessary precautions.
Anyway, it sounds like it has been a tough week for a few of the 24'ers. Hopefully next week will be better for everyone.
Sorry, this has turned into yet another essay. I don't do things by halves do i- I'm either missing for months or babbling away!!
So much love to all of you. 4pm Perth xx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
