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Class of May 2020 part 7

Old 07-19-2020, 06:53 PM
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I think it’s a sober amphicar! Coz and Karen. You can drive it OR pilot it on a lake.. Fun.

Also, it’s hard to trudge on a bus!

Congrats on 88 days Lily, tough to escape the heat, I do’t do well in it.
I like the ice cream idea.

59 hours for me, it can only add up, I hope. Starting to feel human again. Ate too much. Voracious appetite.

Coz, sorry your day was too peopley yesterday. I exactly know that odd feeling. Was at a Christmas party many moons ago, sober bit less than a year felt like a dog with a broken {leg}.
I totally get the thing about being on the tools instead of dealing with people. Much easier. I’ve said it several times.

I’m headed to my Grandparent’s homestead (a house in the woods basically) for the next 2 days. Will not have a device. No internet. Taking our dogs. A deck of cards. And there is an old t.v. with a vhs machine and a handful of movies. Should be a nice time.

Sorry didn’t catch everyone.
I hope everyone has a good day.







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Old 07-19-2020, 07:19 PM
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Enjoy your sober break TC
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Old 07-19-2020, 07:21 PM
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Safe travels TC! Enjoy the sober amphicar ride and a hide-away in the bush for a bit.

I'm already looking forward to your tales of bush adventures and relaxing without the usual screen distractions.

Take care of yourself....



(Not sure which is the most appropriate setting, so covering all bases)
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Old 07-19-2020, 08:04 PM
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Thread-hog back again!

Needed to share my ethical dilemma. In short, I had some river sand delivered to use as the base for laying pavers and to top dress some of the lawn area. I'd made a good start on both projects, but on the weekend I noticed a burrow in the remaining sand pile. It looked a lot like a pardalote nest, so I set up a motion sensing camera to find out if it was being actively managed. Here is one of the 300-odd images that were taken:


It is a striated pardalote nest and there are birds in and out all day, so obviously getting ready to lay eggs soon. Eggs take about 19 days to hatch and then another three weeks until the chicks fledge. So my choices are to quickly remove the sand pile before they lay eggs so they start nesting again somewhere else, or leave the pile there for another six weeks or so and let them have a go at nesting. I am leaning towards swapping projects and leaving the pile for the birds, but it means an unfinished task (which is a problem for me as I really like finishing things before moving onto other 'big' projects) and it is quite messy being right at the front entrance to the house.

What would you do?

(PS - they are really pretty birds - very small but with a relatively loud voice for their size)

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Old 07-19-2020, 08:19 PM
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I would wait but that's me Coz

D
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Old 07-19-2020, 10:07 PM
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Coz: apparently you could build them a nesting box. Would that work?
I think the hole size in the box would dictate species.

Anyway, signing off for a bit, should be in bed. Early start.

Take care sober travellers!
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Old 07-20-2020, 05:08 AM
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I am getting used to being awake early. So quiet and empty. For years, I would be rushing off to work hungover, probably half-shaved, trying not to vomit on the subway. I had to get of at the wrong stop to vomit in a trash can a few times. That's usually why I was late for work. I didn't realize that I was addicted to alcohol at the time. Was about 27 years old and had never heard about alcohol withdrawal before.

I am still shocked that my co-workers were also going out with me on anightly basis and none of us were fired. I am sure I must have made the office smell like a brewery!

I do remember not getting on the elevator with my boss out of fear she would smell alcohol on me. As far as I know, she didn't ever realize I was a terrible alcoholic. I did a good acting job apparently!

Massive heat wave here. Can't really go out for a walk more than a half hour without burning up. I am sure the Australians are laughing at me haha.
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Old 07-20-2020, 05:20 AM
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Coz, it would be a lot of fun to watch the birds have babies and care for them. You could always make a cute little sign saying, "Pardolote Castle" or something. That may make you feel better about the pile of sand in your entrance. But, I could sure understand moving it now if that's what you decide to do.
Sometimes it does feel like trudging to me, but knowing I am on the path to 'happy destiny' makes it worth it. I get the negative vibes from the phrase, too, though. In fact, when I first read it I remember thinking it didn't sound very pleasant. I like your take on it, too, Dee.
My favorite is TC's amphicar. Maybe we can make that the class vehicle.
Enjoy your trip, TC. I hope it's very peaceful. Is your family going along? I hope you are feeling great the whole time.
And yes, my grandson lives with me. He loves for me to play with him. He will be seven in a few weeks. His parents also live with me, and my two step-granddaughters who are teenagers. And their dog. And my dog and cat.
I'm going to get out in the yard before it gets too hot. See you all soon.
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Old 07-20-2020, 05:36 AM
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WL, I love the early mornings, too. I almost always have a big chunk of quiet time. And I also use to hate mornings, and was almost always sick and still full of alcohol.
After I got sober last time I got on the elevator with a co-worker that I really thought a lot of. She was such a kind, organized, smart lady. She reeked of alcohol. I was really shocked. First, because I knew right away that I must have smelled just like that a lot when I was drinking, and second because I thought of her as so 'above' that. I couldn't help but sort of watch her after that, and I think I discovered that she is a very high functioning alcoholic. It makes me really sad to think of it. But, we all have our own journeys.
You are sounding so wonderful. It's great to see you getting so much better all the time.
Hugs to all.
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Old 07-20-2020, 05:38 AM
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Wow Karen - you do have a full house!

I agree with your thoughts on the sand pile. I wouldn't be hurting the birds if I took it away now, but I did think about all the work I have put into my house and I would be pretty devastated if someone pulled it apart on me. And yes, I would be great to see a successful nesting and the babies flying out! Also like the idea of a sign as a kind of justification for my 'not so perfect front yard'.

Sounds like everyone in the class is hot except me! Days are lovely, but mornings and nights are very cold. So WL, not so much laughing at you but envious!

I'm signing off for the night. Stay sober and happy.

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Old 07-20-2020, 06:40 AM
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I would wait too dear Coz.

And this.....

Conversation was challenging. Lots of work talk and all other talk was about the drinking habits of work colleagues. My only contribution was to say I don't drink and tried to change the subject to starting up the business and his life story.

Anyway, the meal went well. I spent the day at the high level of anxiety and felt so worn out afterwards - give me a day swinging a pick and shovel any day - far less exhausting.

Reflecting back, I am not at all comfortable with being me. I feel boring, second guess what people are thinking of me, feel the need to fill any gaps in conversation but have nothing to say (I avoid talking about myself - SR is an exception to this rule), and feel responsible for other peoples happiness so over-think everything to play a role that is not me. Drinking provided an escape from all that. I need to learn how to interact with people again - and definitely need to learn to be more relaxed.

Boss-man left after about four hours. We had so much salad left over, so hubby invited our neighbour over for dinner and we did another BBQ. Neighbour is a drinker, but we had a non-drinking dinner as he had hospital appointments (cancer treatment) the next day. That was so much easier than lunch. Not sure if it was because of no- alcohol around, or if I just know him a bit better and he is a good talker.


I have lightbulbs going off in my head for you if that makes sense....maybe because I was the same way.

There is NOTHING you need to fix in you....I am sure you are comfortable being you, just not around drunk people. I know I'm not.
At first I thought how dare I even have the audacity to be uncomfortable, judgemental even, but I was. I still am to be honest. I lose all ability to be me if someone around me is drunk.

My thoughts. s
And goodnight ❤️

And have a lovely trip dear TC ❤️
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Old 07-20-2020, 06:41 AM
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I only did one quote block.....I have no clue why that happens now. I guess I could try and find out.... s xx
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Old 07-20-2020, 07:26 AM
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Homestead trip delayed for a day.
You’ll see me around a bit.

WL, yes, we did carry on, I guess most around us are too kind ,or uncertain of how to breach the subject.
When I was ‘functioning’ on a bottle a day, I’m sure that co-workers must’ve been aware. Never said anything.

Have a good day all.
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Old 07-20-2020, 07:41 AM
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Venus: I really like what you said about being comfortable.....good points.

I know what I’m trying to say, just a bit foggy-headed.

Cheers.
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Old 07-20-2020, 08:29 AM
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I am in a foul mood and just want to drink. I can't remember why I shouldn't, got no reasons. I just want to say f it for the week.

Will do some writing later, look at my worksheet I made for myself about drinking.
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Old 07-20-2020, 08:43 AM
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My experience of being in a foul mood and deciding to drink are bad, bad memories.
It ALWAYS makes it worse.
As our dear PJ says: there is nothing that a drink can't make worse.

We can't control everything, but we have a choice in the way we deal with a crappy mood....for me, it's accomplish a couple of simple household tasks, make a nice meal, have a shower, put some loud music on, buy a new plant (I just did that), do something nice for someone.....

Things like that. s xxxx
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Old 07-20-2020, 11:27 AM
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Well I made an apt to get my haircut tomorrow. First cut since Jan. So that should help get me through today. After today I don't know.
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Old 07-20-2020, 11:29 AM
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I am struggling not to get drunk for a week myself, Maria. These are unprecedented times. Instead of buying alcohol, I went out and bought ice cream. Told myself to eat ice cream first, then go buy beer. I ate the ice cream and didn't go out again because I lost the craving for booze. I watched 4 episodes of House of Cards on Netflix and forgot I wanted to drink!

It's hard. We all know it. Distract yourself at every opportunity. The initial urge to drink can be deflected. I surprised myself by waiting 20 minutes before I act on the impulse to drink.

Hope you feel better!
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Old 07-20-2020, 11:37 AM
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369, I can't believe you are stuck with so many people in the house! You must be a very patient person! I would only put up the pets!
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Old 07-20-2020, 12:03 PM
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I spend a lot of time in my room. The little one has no problem coming in, asking me to play regardless of whatever else I may be doing. But, honestly I feel blessed. The teenagers are actually rude, but aren't they all, I guess. I love the dogs and cat to pieces. I also love my son and even my daughter-in-law.
I love what you said about there being nothing Coz needs to fix in herself, Venus. That is so true. I feel like a wet blanket around drinking folks sometimes, too. But why? They are the ones altering their reality in order to enjoy themselves. We can handle reality!
TC, sorry you've had to delay, but nice to have you with us another day. How are you feeling? Not having too hard a time I hope.
Maria, so sorry you're struggling. Do look back and remind yourself why you've chosen sobriety. I'm sure it wasn't just a whim, there must have been something that alcohol did to you and your life that was bad.
I'm trying to get the energy up to get busy around here. So much to do, but I am not feeling it today, again. Three days in a row of not having much energy. Maybe I just need to do it and hope the feelings follow.
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