Class of November 2019 Part 10
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
A month today, Willow? I have so many amazing photos but it's such a mission getting them uploaded and quickly getting the link to share them here. All good here, though. Looking forward to going back to London and getting back to work and getting on with normal life. I don't want to see it as a "test" as that is just AV nonsense. Just need to keep on an even keel and vigilant.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Congrats Briansy and Willow, I'm so glad that you're doing so well.
As everyone has probably surmised already, I drank on the lake trip and since we got back I've continued drinking. At first I thought I'd just drink on social occasions, but I have quickly slid back into drinking way too much wine every night. No big incidents or fights caused by drinking itself have really happened, which is good, I suppose, but kind of also bad in that I haven't had a strong incentive to stop. Other than the fact that I'm a 40-year-old woman, and I know that drinking several glasses of wine every single night is slowly trashing my liver, raising my risk for breast cancer, and maybe even harming my heart. And I know that it affects my life in smaller ways -- I don't feel my best, sleep my best, or perform my best at work.
Every day I tell myself I won't drink today, just not today to give my body a break, and every day when 5 pm rolls around, or when we have dinner, I find myself pouring the wine.
If I could skip even one day, once in a while, I'd feel a little better about it all. If I could stick to one glass a night, the recommended limit for women, I'd feel fine about drinking nightly -- but the idea of one glass has always seemed laughable to me. On a good night I have three, normally it's more like four or five.
My boyfriend says he'll support whatever decision I make, but he doesn't really seem to think my drinking as it currently exists is a problem.
It's probably not fair to post such an ambivalent post here, because the truth is I don't really know what I want to do about this right now, but I know that people have been wondering about me and maybe even worrying, so that's what's going on.
As everyone has probably surmised already, I drank on the lake trip and since we got back I've continued drinking. At first I thought I'd just drink on social occasions, but I have quickly slid back into drinking way too much wine every night. No big incidents or fights caused by drinking itself have really happened, which is good, I suppose, but kind of also bad in that I haven't had a strong incentive to stop. Other than the fact that I'm a 40-year-old woman, and I know that drinking several glasses of wine every single night is slowly trashing my liver, raising my risk for breast cancer, and maybe even harming my heart. And I know that it affects my life in smaller ways -- I don't feel my best, sleep my best, or perform my best at work.
Every day I tell myself I won't drink today, just not today to give my body a break, and every day when 5 pm rolls around, or when we have dinner, I find myself pouring the wine.
If I could skip even one day, once in a while, I'd feel a little better about it all. If I could stick to one glass a night, the recommended limit for women, I'd feel fine about drinking nightly -- but the idea of one glass has always seemed laughable to me. On a good night I have three, normally it's more like four or five.
My boyfriend says he'll support whatever decision I make, but he doesn't really seem to think my drinking as it currently exists is a problem.
It's probably not fair to post such an ambivalent post here, because the truth is I don't really know what I want to do about this right now, but I know that people have been wondering about me and maybe even worrying, so that's what's going on.
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Good to hear from you SBTS! I'm glad you seem reasonably well and I would have been surprised from your posts had any "incidents" arisen, I guess it's a more subtle assessment of what drinking is currently taking. The prospect of crossing the line from hangovers into withdrawal at some undefined point in the future is probably too academic a prospect to be a serious impetus for stopping. For me, long before that happened, I felt stuck in a bit of a rut with drinking. It was just a cycle of drinking a couple of bottles of wine, feeling a bit rough, recovering, doing it all over again - no real room for a decade or so of real self improvement or truly moving forward with ambitions / goals. It was eventually experiencing the nastiness of withdrawals (and also a big reduction in the euphoria from drinking) that made me take it seriously.
I don't want to kill your buzz too much if you're comfortable drinking right now - but you know we'll all be here to thrash it out when you need us.
How was that weekend on the lake in the end?
I don't want to kill your buzz too much if you're comfortable drinking right now - but you know we'll all be here to thrash it out when you need us.
How was that weekend on the lake in the end?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Thanks Briansy, that all makes a lot of sense.
Good to see you too Suze
The weekend on the lake was nice, drinking aside. It was great to see my family and feel like we got to do something normal for a few days.
How's everyone else doing?
Good to see you too Suze
The weekend on the lake was nice, drinking aside. It was great to see my family and feel like we got to do something normal for a few days.
How's everyone else doing?
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Yes Briansy, a month today
hi SBTS, great to hear from you. I totally get where you’re coming from, I’ve been there too.
A number of times. And I didn’t generally have any major disasters either. I’m glad you enjoyed your time at the lake
When I hit 50 and I was still drinking every day, and it had slowly insidiously escalated to more like a minimum of 4 or 5 glasses, often at least a bottle, or maybe a bottle and a half some nights, because 1 bottle often wasn’t quite enough, and on weekends it was more like two.
I know my liver was suffering, and my risk of cancer and chronic disease was slowly but surely increasing, my blood pressure was creeping up, and I was losing interest in doing anything that interfered with drinking. So I decided I really had to stop. It hasn’t been plain sailing and as you all know I’ve had multiple relapses, but I know that for my own health, I need to call it a day. Because I cannot moderate to just weekends, or just one glass. I can’t stay within the healthy guildelines for drinking. It’s soooo much easier for me to not drink at all than to moderate. So that’s what I need to do.
hi SBTS, great to hear from you. I totally get where you’re coming from, I’ve been there too.
A number of times. And I didn’t generally have any major disasters either. I’m glad you enjoyed your time at the lake
When I hit 50 and I was still drinking every day, and it had slowly insidiously escalated to more like a minimum of 4 or 5 glasses, often at least a bottle, or maybe a bottle and a half some nights, because 1 bottle often wasn’t quite enough, and on weekends it was more like two.
I know my liver was suffering, and my risk of cancer and chronic disease was slowly but surely increasing, my blood pressure was creeping up, and I was losing interest in doing anything that interfered with drinking. So I decided I really had to stop. It hasn’t been plain sailing and as you all know I’ve had multiple relapses, but I know that for my own health, I need to call it a day. Because I cannot moderate to just weekends, or just one glass. I can’t stay within the healthy guildelines for drinking. It’s soooo much easier for me to not drink at all than to moderate. So that’s what I need to do.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi STBS
I'm sorry you're drinking and even sorrier to see you're trying to consider keeping drinking.
I won;t go back into your posts - but you've been here before.
Some people just should not drink - I'm one - and you're one of them too.
My addiction was sneaky - things never blew out to disaster right away...for a while it seemed like I could drink a little (or even a lot) and 'get away with it'. It never stayed that way - and if you're honest with yourself it's never stayed that way for you.
I worry that your bf's not really on board with you not drinking - I feel a good supportive and healthy relationship means he should support your decision, even if he doesn't quite understand.
But, even if he thinks you can drink a little, that shouldn't stop you taking what you know is the right path for you.
D
I'm sorry you're drinking and even sorrier to see you're trying to consider keeping drinking.
I won;t go back into your posts - but you've been here before.
Some people just should not drink - I'm one - and you're one of them too.
My addiction was sneaky - things never blew out to disaster right away...for a while it seemed like I could drink a little (or even a lot) and 'get away with it'. It never stayed that way - and if you're honest with yourself it's never stayed that way for you.
I worry that your bf's not really on board with you not drinking - I feel a good supportive and healthy relationship means he should support your decision, even if he doesn't quite understand.
But, even if he thinks you can drink a little, that shouldn't stop you taking what you know is the right path for you.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Thanks Willow... I had a feeling you might relate.
And thanks Dee... I know I can always count on you for the straight talk, even if it’s not what I want to hear. You’ve watched me do this for a decade and I know that counts for something. I guess I’m just struggling with accepting it at the moment.
And thanks Dee... I know I can always count on you for the straight talk, even if it’s not what I want to hear. You’ve watched me do this for a decade and I know that counts for something. I guess I’m just struggling with accepting it at the moment.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I filled my belly with sugar today to keep the AV at bay. Arnotts assorted creams to be precise. Not healthy in the slightest, especially as I ate at least 6 (I stopped counting at 5....). But better than caving into the AV. And my vanilla yogurt hadn’t done the trick, so I resorted to biscuits. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and I won’t have a hangover at least (unless it’s a sugar one lol).
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
The sugar hangover is a very real thing!! I am eating sugar like a maniac currently!! But good that you are cracking on, Willow, you sound in good shape at the moment. I feel I am too! Today is Saturday and I leave for London on Tuesday. I'm really looking forward to getting back into my routine...
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I agree about the sugar hangovers Briansy. I wasn’t too bad this morning physically, but boy am I as grumpy as anything! In a crappy mood today. I’ll really have to watch out against the AV today, being Sunday and grumpy too! I’ll have to keep busy I’m thinking....
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Monday morning here and I just went for an hour walk to try and flick off the bad mood I’ve been in all weekend. I think a lack of exercise has been contributing to my blah state of mind.
I hope you’re all going ok x
I hope you’re all going ok x
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Morning Willow - or should I say evening! For me, walking for at least an hour is essential if I want my head to be anywhere near the right place. That's why I'm keen to get out of Ireland and back to the UK. There are certain days where it's so horribly humid and waiting to dump on you that you're taking a big risk going outside. It really does get tiresome, I get the impression that those living here permanently live in that perpetual malaise, but maybe I'm projecting! Good to hear you're cracking on. I am also which is good. I'm really keen to get to 3 months now. the way to ensure that time passes quickly is to work hard and keep the legs moving (and the weight off).
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
I can almost walk again....almost.....I look at people going for walks (past my house) with envy.
Soon. A few more days. Plus I have to get my leg muscles working properly again.
Soon. A few more days. Plus I have to get my leg muscles working properly again.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Briansy and Suze 
Suze I’m glad to hear you’re on the mend
❤️
I was grumpy again today and the AV started on at me, but I had such a busy morning that I missed breakfast and was late for lunch, so it was hunger. A feed and I’m feeling a bit better, and a walk now will help too.
Suze I’m glad to hear you’re on the mend
❤️I was grumpy again today and the AV started on at me, but I had such a busy morning that I missed breakfast and was late for lunch, so it was hunger. A feed and I’m feeling a bit better, and a walk now will help too.
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Hello Magnum. 9 months, amazing stuff, any tips for how to get those kinda stats? I'm aiming to get to 3 and feeling relatively good about my prospects. Just got back to London and unpacked, had a shower and put clean sheets on. About to hit the hay. Glad to be back "home".
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