Class of May 2020 part 6
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 364
Originally Posted by Wastinglife 
Going through old posts, saw a reference for President Trump. I am Canadian so I have no political affiliation with American politics. I was worried I may have offerended people.
I have been using this forum almost like a personal diary. I just realized that I said some stuff that no one remembers. We all read way too much to remember a random post from a month ago haha. I
I am now 30 days sober! Was reading my posts from some days I was not sober. My new goal is another 30 days. That's my focus.
I have been using this forum almost like a personal diary. I just realized that I said some stuff that no one remembers. We all read way too much to remember a random post from a month ago haha. I
I am now 30 days sober! Was reading my posts from some days I was not sober. My new goal is another 30 days. That's my focus.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 364
Congrats on the bunch of milestones some of us just reached! I am so happy to have SR as a place to check in on daily. All of our stories are valued. No matter if its good or bad, frustrating or not, on topic or off topic, etc. Everyone keep at it
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Dig, I know exactly what you mean about trying to hide the drinking. I was in a commited relationship and lived with an ex-gf.
She thought I was cheating on her with an other women. I wasn't. Cheating with the vodka I had hidden was what I had been doing.
I was compelled to search for my bottle because I was starting to feel that anxiety and the withdrawal symptoms. Couldn't sleep, so needed another shot to go back to sleep.
Very cranky in the morning until I got back from work. We actually made peace about it all. I actually went to her wedding and her husband is a chilled-out guy who had an ex with addiction problems.
I was not myself for a long time. Didn't even realize I was an alcoholic and depended on Alcohol to feel normal.
I hope the missus has understood that you were suffering with addiction and it's very hard to stop drinking!
She thought I was cheating on her with an other women. I wasn't. Cheating with the vodka I had hidden was what I had been doing.
I was compelled to search for my bottle because I was starting to feel that anxiety and the withdrawal symptoms. Couldn't sleep, so needed another shot to go back to sleep.
Very cranky in the morning until I got back from work. We actually made peace about it all. I actually went to her wedding and her husband is a chilled-out guy who had an ex with addiction problems.
I was not myself for a long time. Didn't even realize I was an alcoholic and depended on Alcohol to feel normal.
I hope the missus has understood that you were suffering with addiction and it's very hard to stop drinking!
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Lily that is awesome about the letters! Very interesting. I am a huge fan of AA speakers so I have learned some about the history.
WL 30 days is great! Super happy for you 🙂
RAL 45 days congratulations! Glad you had nice weather.
Everyone else hope you are doing well.
I had a busy day but nothing out of the ordinary. My mind went crazy again basically telling me theres no chance I am gonna be able to keep sober. After all the years of struggle I am not really sure I can put this addiction to bed.
And I hate reading my old posts, so stressful to me. I love reading old threads from years ago though. Very helpful to me.
I gotta tell on myself again. My family is leaving for the weekend tomorrow. I need to stay sober so me and my crazy brain will be here a lot this weekend.
WL 30 days is great! Super happy for you 🙂
RAL 45 days congratulations! Glad you had nice weather.
Everyone else hope you are doing well.
I had a busy day but nothing out of the ordinary. My mind went crazy again basically telling me theres no chance I am gonna be able to keep sober. After all the years of struggle I am not really sure I can put this addiction to bed.
And I hate reading my old posts, so stressful to me. I love reading old threads from years ago though. Very helpful to me.
I gotta tell on myself again. My family is leaving for the weekend tomorrow. I need to stay sober so me and my crazy brain will be here a lot this weekend.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
Day 40 for me! Really happy and this week seems to have gone quickly with very little thoughts about alcohol.
sunday is my 6 week goal which when I first started, I marked the days in my calendar to see end of June would be 6weeks and in the past I've done this before- the marking the days ahead....then I've given up and looked at the numbers thinking " I could have been on day x if I had have stayed sober" to be hitting 6 weeks makes me feel a lot better about myself and that I've really invested my energy in being sober and better
Have a great sober Friday everyone!
sunday is my 6 week goal which when I first started, I marked the days in my calendar to see end of June would be 6weeks and in the past I've done this before- the marking the days ahead....then I've given up and looked at the numbers thinking " I could have been on day x if I had have stayed sober" to be hitting 6 weeks makes me feel a lot better about myself and that I've really invested my energy in being sober and better
Have a great sober Friday everyone!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,446
I've been awol but still sober. Happy to see so many of you still here and hitting milestones.
congrats WL on 30days! I think I'm right there with you with the same quit date
Anxious and busy kind of sums up my life these days. Busy is good i guess as there's less time to be anxious then. I kind of feel like everyone is collectively loosing there minds so I'm in good company
Stay safe and sober!
congrats WL on 30days! I think I'm right there with you with the same quit date
Anxious and busy kind of sums up my life these days. Busy is good i guess as there's less time to be anxious then. I kind of feel like everyone is collectively loosing there minds so I'm in good company
Stay safe and sober!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning all
Thanks Lily and what a wonderful story about your grandmother.
Maria- thanks for your understanding.
WL - I agree stay in the moment although reaidng old posts can be useful if they help us.
Thanks Karen, hope you have a good day
Fallow -you can do this. Don't listen to the AV. Keep on going. You won't be glad you had a drink. You won't regret not picking up a drink when you wake tomorrow but if you do drink you will regret it.
Zombie -many congrats on 40 days
nmd -great to see you
Dig -I agree checking in every day is so important. It's the first thing I do in the morning and last thing at night. We had wild storms in the night and the phone and internet are now off so I couldn't check in this morning. Came into work early to use their internet instead.
Will check in later.
Thanks Lily and what a wonderful story about your grandmother.
Maria- thanks for your understanding.
WL - I agree stay in the moment although reaidng old posts can be useful if they help us.
Thanks Karen, hope you have a good day
Fallow -you can do this. Don't listen to the AV. Keep on going. You won't be glad you had a drink. You won't regret not picking up a drink when you wake tomorrow but if you do drink you will regret it.
Zombie -many congrats on 40 days
nmd -great to see you
Dig -I agree checking in every day is so important. It's the first thing I do in the morning and last thing at night. We had wild storms in the night and the phone and internet are now off so I couldn't check in this morning. Came into work early to use their internet instead.
Will check in later.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Still can't sleep. It happens. Doctor said it will take awhile to get into the regular pattern. I do sleep well after I sober up for a few weeks, then I start thinking about real life issues. Can't get a job, at 43, it's just not really worth trying to do anything.
Going to probably have to leave Canada now. British and Canadian citizen. Multiple places I can go for a job after this pandemic. Brazil has offered me to emigrate. Teach English for 2 years.
I have tried everything. I will not resort to manual labour at my age because I couldn't do it. Within an injury away from losing that job. I
I am a former stock-broker. Great University degree. My past will always haunt me. If I don't leave my home country, city, I am afraid I will jump off a bridge. Just psychology of being so out of sorts. I have zero opportunity here and that's been made clear.
Was really screwed over by some people and I won't deal with it anymore. I just want to be able to have life without constant scrutiny!
This is my last post. My privacy doesn't exist. Phone has been hacked.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Trust no one. Really. Trust no one!
Going to probably have to leave Canada now. British and Canadian citizen. Multiple places I can go for a job after this pandemic. Brazil has offered me to emigrate. Teach English for 2 years.
I have tried everything. I will not resort to manual labour at my age because I couldn't do it. Within an injury away from losing that job. I
I am a former stock-broker. Great University degree. My past will always haunt me. If I don't leave my home country, city, I am afraid I will jump off a bridge. Just psychology of being so out of sorts. I have zero opportunity here and that's been made clear.
Was really screwed over by some people and I won't deal with it anymore. I just want to be able to have life without constant scrutiny!
This is my last post. My privacy doesn't exist. Phone has been hacked.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Trust no one. Really. Trust no one!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hey WL
sent you a PM.
There's no need to decide the future course of your life right now.
International travel and migration is going to be screwed up for a while anyway.
You're doing really well man - 30 days is great. You've made some leaps forward since your last relapse., There's no reason why you can't keep doing that
I hope you keep posting here, and hope you get some sleep soon man.
D
sent you a PM.
There's no need to decide the future course of your life right now.
International travel and migration is going to be screwed up for a while anyway.
You're doing really well man - 30 days is great. You've made some leaps forward since your last relapse., There's no reason why you can't keep doing that
I hope you keep posting here, and hope you get some sleep soon man.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
WL, I hope that was not your last post. I have seen you go from what seemed nearly hopeless, to a recovering person with hope and willingness to work on staying sober. Although I've never met you in person, you have been an important part of my own recovery and life for the past several months, and I care very much. I'm sorry you're feeling like this. The chance that there is someone spying on your internet interactions seems pretty small to me, though of course I can't know for sure. But, what if they were? What difference would it make, and what is the worse thing that could come of it? They would know that you are recovering and getting support from a great place.
Hugs and love to all, I'll be back later.
Hugs and love to all, I'll be back later.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Mid-Atlantic states
Posts: 993
Hello everyone,
Just popping in to say hey. It's week 6 for me today. Very proud and feeling accomplished right about now. I will probably check in weekly, but I will try to more. Have been buried in work lately, but it has been good because of the Covid stress.
Best to all,
Og
Just popping in to say hey. It's week 6 for me today. Very proud and feeling accomplished right about now. I will probably check in weekly, but I will try to more. Have been buried in work lately, but it has been good because of the Covid stress.
Best to all,
Og
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 207
WL, I hope you will find a way to continue posting here. Your health and well-being are so important. Maybe a burn phone and a new username/password? Does SR has a 2FA login option?
It's day 64 for me. The days go slowly, but they add up fast. The paradox of life as I get older.
Regarding sleeping... after some difficulty and taking Advil PM most nights (stopped trazodone due to headaches), I turned to exercise. I find if I spend even just a half hour on the treadmill during the day (not too late; at least 3 or 4 hours before bedtime), I sleep better. A good hike in a park is also helpful.
It's day 64 for me. The days go slowly, but they add up fast. The paradox of life as I get older.
Regarding sleeping... after some difficulty and taking Advil PM most nights (stopped trazodone due to headaches), I turned to exercise. I find if I spend even just a half hour on the treadmill during the day (not too late; at least 3 or 4 hours before bedtime), I sleep better. A good hike in a park is also helpful.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Quick check in. Phone exchanges Got struck by lightning last night. Mo phonemo internet and no data at home.just driven to village to say I wont be checking in much but am sober and no thoughts of drinking. Didnt want to disappear 😃👍
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