Red78

I know and that's why I kept checking, I started getting worried lol

Dee74

you too
D

JustTony

Thanks for the kind words.

I was on the app ‘House Party’ last night with some good friends. It went on until 10:30pm (I’m so wild nowadays) so it was late to bed and late to get up. It was interesting to see my friends all get sloshed. Of course it leads to thoughts around “why can’t I be normal?” And it is so frustrating to know that you will never be. I dunno? I hope that fact has got through the outer casing of my thick skull once and for all now?

I don’t know if you read but my dog’s lead snapped the other day and he ran out into the road? He could have easily been killed and that has really played on my mind. I can’t stop looking at him and imagining him as a bloody mass in front of me. It’s really shook me up and the age old subjects of life, love and loss have been forefront of my mind (again). Anyway this is just a bit of a ‘funk’ and I’ll get over it no doubt.

J “found a little something to write in the end anyway” T

Red78

I did read that about your dog JT and can definitely understand how distressing the thoughts are about what if. A neighbourhood cat got run over the other night and it wasn't nice to see but it made me realise about my own cats and it could happen anytime.
I also think I know what else this may have bought to the forefront of your mind, some pretty heavy and raw emotion that might only go away with booze.
Being sober gives us the opportunity to face some of these things head on or rather it brings these old emotions up to be looked at and experienced again and put in the right place. Sorry if I'm off the mark.
Hugs from me..

JustTony

No you're 100% spot on Red. It does bring back raw emotions that I never want to feel again but know that I inevitably will. It’s perverse but ever since I got my dog as a puppy eight years ago I have been worried about him dying. I’m wife understands but on the other hand has told me to enjoy and love him whilst he is here. I guess people who aren’t animal lovers won’t get just how much you can adore a pet but then again I didn’t have a dog until I was 42 years old and I didn’t understand either.

On another note I’m hoping to see Wasting Life on here later. He started another thread where I think he’s been a bit misunderstood. Forums are strange places where people’s sensibilities can become very bruised (I should know). We all need each other right now so I hope we can stick together as much as possible.

Red78

I couldn't imagine my wee boy cat dying, he is a mummas boy too but not my girl cat, she's a daddy's girl. We found one under our house and the other one we took from the garden centre when we moved into town, they left it there all the time and no one was there after 5 and she got lonely, so we took her, she was just a mouse catcher to them.
Anyway, I envision my cats getting run over a bit as the jerks in my street think it's a race track sometimes and it gives me such anxiety.

Yea I did read that thread JT and hope Wastinglife comes here to post. It can be a very scary situation for someone.

Red78

How is everyone tonight?
Karen
Dig
Ee1979
FF
b0glerd69
Someday
Shenzy
Lunablue
Patterson - I hope you come back in the morning
Itsmaria
Wasting life
Reid82
Chopstickchrese
Bwca
Erratic
Strawberry
Lulu45
And of course our wonderful Venus and Dee.
I hope you are all sober this weekend, not that weekdays or weekends are much different at the moment. If youre not sober please please put your drink down or tip it out and start over tomorrow.
Much love
Kia kaha
Nicola

b0glerd69

Hi Red, I'm ok thanks. If I'm honest, I feel a bit downbeat with all this self-isolation, the house is a mess, I need to motivate myself but I feel listless and tired and the more sleeping I do the more I want to sleep. Still, I'm sober and therefore I am present and responsive to these minor struggles. The sun is shining and so far we have survived this pandemic intact. So things could be worse. I hope everyone else is ok.

Red78

Those are hard times whether sober or not. I can't imagine not going anywhere as I'm still working everyday. I think it's OK to sleep all the time and not be motivated and not clean the house for awhile, the mental struggle is very real and we need not put pressure on ourselves but do what we need too to get through it all.

Strawberry18

Dee74

Think about the mum you want to be Strawberry - you can do this.

D

venuscat

Yes, me too.

I love your posts Tony. s xxx ❤️❤️

And looking forward to seeing you today dear Patterson. We do this together. s xx ❤️❤️

JustTony

It comes down to what you really want most. Do you want to drink or do you want to be teetotal?

I can only speak for myself and say that every time I started drinking again it was deliberate and it was because I wanted to drink. I really have no time for people saying "I slipped" and never have. Slipping is accidentally stumbling somehow and causing oneself injury without intention. This does not apply to drinking alcohol. I will concede that when you're in the middle of drinking (hours/days/weeks/months/years) you can continue to drink even when you are hating the taste and want to STOP. However when you START again after a day or more away then that is always deliberate.

So my friend - what Easter Sunday and future do you want more than the other?

JT

venuscat

My plan would be to have a non-alcoholic drink I love on hand. Like cranberry and sparkling mineral water for me. And I would have it chilled. And as the AV perked up, if it does, I would eat something. It always helped me.

Plan to win. Plan to have a great Easter Sunday and as Dee said, you can be the mum you want to be love. And what a win it will be....a memory you can keep for next Easter and onward. s xx ❤️

Sober369

Good morning everyone. Gosh, so much has happened while I snoozed away.
JT, I love your posts, too. But, I don't want you to feel obligated to post them. I can see how it could become a task instead of a pleasure for you, and that wouldn't do. Just write what you're moved to write, is my suggestion.
I understand about the fear of losing your dog. I am madly in love with mine, too, and it would kill me if something happened to him. I'm the same way about my kids. Sending hugs and positive vibes to you.
Patterson, if you wake up feeling horrible in every way, please know that we are here for you and care very much. You don't ever have to go there again. I was right where you are less than two weeks ago. I hope I never forget how bad I felt. Today, day 12, I am filled with hope and though I still don't feel well physically, I feel a world better than I did then. Alcohol causes depression and poisons us, but it goes away pretty fast. Lots of love and hugs to you.
Strawberry, you are very wise to plan ahead for tomorrow. Is there a food and drink you can have ready to be your celebration instead of lamb and beer? And of course, we will be here for you and I hope that helps a lot.
I'm enjoying the quiet house, coffee and peace. I'm still worried that people in my house are cheating on the quarantine. I am going to consider renting a small place away from everyone temporarily to be safe. They are all young and healthy, but I am not either at this point, and I feel like it might be a good idea.
See you all soon.

venuscat

Oh wow, just you and Charlie? Or two dogs. What heaven that would be. ❤️

someday147

Hi everyone,

Here's to another day sober

Just on a side note. Did anyone watch the Quiz on Itv this week? If so would like to know your thought's.

dig12

Patterson / I feel for you and everything you are saying. I know I've personally felt shame and guilt myself with regards to my own kids. My oldest is now 9 years old. She's lost 9 years of her dad to booze pretty much. I was able to function at a very high level with the booze though and maybe she didn't even notice? Even if she didn't notice. I sure did. I guess my point is regardless of the number of years that are felt to be lost there is still time to stop drinking. That first step is the biggest and it really must involve a genuine decision to stop drinking. And from there like Dee says, building a tool-set is key and hey you already have one tool - all of us here at SR!!!

Wishing you the very best. I think you can do this if you put your mind to it and start curb stomping that AV into oblivion instead of yourself

dig12

Agreed Strawberry18! I get a green tea and its usually the first post I'll skip to. I like to see how everyone is getting on but JT's posts are some kind of interesting, intriguing and thought provoking.

dig12

Hi Red78! Thank you for putting together a roll-call!!!

I'm doing great. I headed up to bed and before I could even get in bed our 9 year old walked in and said she was having trouble sleeping. Sober dig then did something I'd never have done before in a drunken stupor -- I told her I had the perfect solution and told her to go get her blanket and pillow. She came back and I put her in bed beside Mrs. dig and I took my pillow and grabbed another blanket and slept in her bed for the night. By the time I set myself up in my daughter's room I went back to check on her and she was fast asleep. So beautiful to see her comforted like that and a spur of the moment sober move on my part. I'm seeing these small things as a new normal for me. I smiled and fell asleep in a bed that was too small for me, but last night it was just perfect.