Class of April 2020 Part Two
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 364
I just need to type something out loud 
I JUST MADE AN APPOINTMENT AT THE RAPID ACCESS ADDICTIONS & MEDICINE CLINIC!!! ASSESSMENT IS NEXT WEEK!!!
It'll be by phone and with the same doctor that oversaw my failed attempt last time. But I'll be happy to start off the conversation by saying, "To begin with, I've been sober now for X days. But I want to be in good hands medically at the same time. So, what do I have to do next?"
I don't think it's come up but I started taking Gabapentin (again) so that will be a point of conversation. I'd also imagine she'll send me for baseline blood work to see where I'm at.
Oh and it's amazing, it's Day #20 for me and my eyes have already turned a solid white instead of hazy and a hint of yellowing or bloodshot all the time. My skin also looking a lot younger in my face already. It's amazing what booze can do in terms of harming your body in so many ways!!! It makes me sad that I let it go on for so long.
Anyways, that's my good news piece for the day
Hope everyone here in our group is battling hard and finding success
I JUST MADE AN APPOINTMENT AT THE RAPID ACCESS ADDICTIONS & MEDICINE CLINIC!!! ASSESSMENT IS NEXT WEEK!!!
It'll be by phone and with the same doctor that oversaw my failed attempt last time. But I'll be happy to start off the conversation by saying, "To begin with, I've been sober now for X days. But I want to be in good hands medically at the same time. So, what do I have to do next?"
I don't think it's come up but I started taking Gabapentin (again) so that will be a point of conversation. I'd also imagine she'll send me for baseline blood work to see where I'm at.
Oh and it's amazing, it's Day #20 for me and my eyes have already turned a solid white instead of hazy and a hint of yellowing or bloodshot all the time. My skin also looking a lot younger in my face already. It's amazing what booze can do in terms of harming your body in so many ways!!! It makes me sad that I let it go on for so long.
Anyways, that's my good news piece for the day
Hope everyone here in our group is battling hard and finding success
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 127
Originally Posted by ChopStickCheese 
Hi everybody, checking in for day 1. Already many thanks to everyone for the warm welcome. An active thread this, I see. Nice
Been struggling with drinking for many years. Started my drinking around 2007/2008, at age 20. I am 32 right now, and the last 6 years my drinking is not fun anymore. It's binge drinking.
Had 4 months and 3 weeks last year, was posting here at this forum actively, but slipped April 23 2019. And I have been drinking on and off since. Had 80 days tho between December 31 2019 and the 22nd (?) of March this year, and slipped again.
Wanted to say the same thing JustTony said in the first part of this thread, this corona lockdown shizzle makes boredom an extreme part of our lives, and than it's easy to go to drinking.
Is boredom my main struggle? Maybe an interesting thing to research for myself while posting with you guys and girls over here.
Take care.
Been struggling with drinking for many years. Started my drinking around 2007/2008, at age 20. I am 32 right now, and the last 6 years my drinking is not fun anymore. It's binge drinking.
Had 4 months and 3 weeks last year, was posting here at this forum actively, but slipped April 23 2019. And I have been drinking on and off since. Had 80 days tho between December 31 2019 and the 22nd (?) of March this year, and slipped again.
Wanted to say the same thing JustTony said in the first part of this thread, this corona lockdown shizzle makes boredom an extreme part of our lives, and than it's easy to go to drinking.
Is boredom my main struggle? Maybe an interesting thing to research for myself while posting with you guys and girls over here.
Take care.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Originally Posted by freedomfries
Just drank a naggin of vodka (in an alleyway while smoking cigarettes - I'm classy like that)
Didn't even enjoy it. So starting off on day 0 again. These last few days of relapse weren't as bad as a normal relapse. I didn't drink as much as a I normally do when I relapse. So some improvement.
I spoke with my psychiatrist yesterday. He's going to get the nurse to take my bloods when I'm getting my next anti psychotic injection and then he's going to discuss Antabuse. But he wants me to be sober until then.
Didn't even enjoy it. So starting off on day 0 again. These last few days of relapse weren't as bad as a normal relapse. I didn't drink as much as a I normally do when I relapse. So some improvement.
I spoke with my psychiatrist yesterday. He's going to get the nurse to take my bloods when I'm getting my next anti psychotic injection and then he's going to discuss Antabuse. But he wants me to be sober until then.
Seems to me that what you've been doing isn't enough to stop your desire to drink - that's not a put down, btw - it's just a statement of fact.
Think about everything you could do to add to your programme - more support, more changes...
I dunno about you but if I relapsed and didn't drink as much as I normally would, it was more good luck than anything. I'd usually end up drinking more the more days my bender lasted.
Its that first drink that restarts the madness. You've got to absorb that and never forget it.
You have a worthy goal to get back to study - let your actions - all your actions - reflect that goal FF
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 268
When I stop drinking....the flood of guilt starts overwhelming me. I dropped the ball and drank through my kid's childhood. I get flashes of memory coming at me, vivid recollections of moments I let them down. My daughter is turning 16 on the 27th...and I can't even go see her.
I started drinking rum last night and I haven't stopped. My drinking caused all my failures....and it's the only way my head will stop reminding me of them...
I started drinking rum last night and I haven't stopped. My drinking caused all my failures....and it's the only way my head will stop reminding me of them...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
Patterson dump the rest . Dump it . This was 100% me 3 nights ago . Well I'm up and sobor an got some good sleep . I ha nearly one month under my belt and even longer smoking . But a discussion on the phone with my boss just send me into a sad mode and ran for the beer. I saw it coming . I was waiting g for it to happen . Like a ticking time bomb .
im back . I'm stronger . I'm sobor
im back . I'm stronger . I'm sobor
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Originally Posted by Patterson
When I stop drinking....the flood of guilt starts overwhelming me. I dropped the ball and drank through my kid's childhood. I get flashes of memory coming at me, vivid recollections of moments I let them down. My daughter is turning 16 on the 27th...and I can't even go see her.
I started drinking rum last night and I haven't stopped. My drinking caused all my failures....and it's the only way my head will stop reminding me of them...
I started drinking rum last night and I haven't stopped. My drinking caused all my failures....and it's the only way my head will stop reminding me of them...
Its rough to face our past and the regrets we've accumulated - but I found it actually less painful than trying to blot them out by embracing oblivion.
You can't change until you make changes - and you can't mend any fences without good tools - and a bottle of booze is just not a good tool for anything, unless it's to avoid getting better.
Getting sober and staying that way is hard - but noone has to do it alone - lean on us!
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
The thing is Patterson, you still can be
there's so many parents here who got their shizz together and forged great strong new bonds with their kids.
you can do it too - as long as you keep making choices that reflect your desire to do that.
there's so many parents here who got their shizz together and forged great strong new bonds with their kids.
you can do it too - as long as you keep making choices that reflect your desire to do that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 268
I'm a mess right now....I'm sorry...
Thank you Dee and Strawberry...I need to pull myself together,
Thank you
You're right Dee...the more time I waste crying over the past...the less I have to actively be in their lives, to make better memories. They grow up so fast, a blink of an eye...
Thank you Dee and Strawberry...I need to pull myself together,
Thank you
You're right Dee...the more time I waste crying over the past...the less I have to actively be in their lives, to make better memories. They grow up so fast, a blink of an eye...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 18
Patterson - pour it away now please. I can tell from your writing and your comments (how you’re reminiscing) what stage of ‘drunk’ you’re at. It’s the stage where fewer and fewer of the things you do, say and write will be remembered after a good period of sleep. You’re now in the sad, introverted, just keep pouring, drinking (maybe crying?) stage. Dump it and go to sleep. We will all be here for you when you come back.
I’m not going to write another 45 minute soliloquy today. I’m not sure anyone reads them anyway. I’m checking in though and wishing you all love, strength and resolve.
Stay safe. Stay home. Stay sober.
J “can’t think of anymore to say”T
Patterson - pour it away now please. I can tell from your writing and your comments (how you’re reminiscing) what stage of ‘drunk’ you’re at. It’s the stage where fewer and fewer of the things you do, say and write will be remembered after a good period of sleep. You’re now in the sad, introverted, just keep pouring, drinking (maybe crying?) stage. Dump it and go to sleep. We will all be here for you when you come back.
I’m not going to write another 45 minute soliloquy today. I’m not sure anyone reads them anyway. I’m checking in though and wishing you all love, strength and resolve.
Stay safe. Stay home. Stay sober.
J “can’t think of anymore to say”T
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 268
I'm out of Rum, not a very good pirate am I...
I'll have some water and go to sleep...thanks Dee... take care...
Thanks JT...yeah...I'm at the crying stage...and I do read all your 45 min soliloquy....I'm gonna have to look that word up... night...
I'll have some water and go to sleep...thanks Dee... take care...
Thanks JT...yeah...I'm at the crying stage...and I do read all your 45 min soliloquy....I'm gonna have to look that word up... night...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
Originally Posted by Red78
Like Strawberry said JT, I've been checking for your post for the last 2 hours! I thoroughly enjoy your posts, so please keep them coming as they are inspiring..
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