venuscat

I am betting dear dig, that if you sit down with pen and paper, you could write a list of all of the things you love to do starting from as early as you remember.

I found that 16 year old Suze, heck 13 year old Suze (just before I started messing with drugs) was still in there. And that I still love everything I loved then. So I am beginning....one by one I have picked up old hobbies and am building on them.

I am a writer
I am a poet
I am an artist....I take amazing photos and create gorgeous areas
I am a really good cook
I am an avid gardener
I adore reading
And music
I am a TV and movie-aholic

I didn't know I was still an artist and I didn't know I could cook.
So discovering that since I moved to the US has been amazing.
(I was just over two years sober when I moved here to marry an SR).

Not big-noting in any way. In fact, I am slow as a wet week with everything I take on....my worst trait. I need to multi-task way less. But I am not good at concentrating on anything for more than two hours odd at a time.

Strawberry18

dig12

Cravings have come up a few times and earlier I shared the coping strategy that has worked well for me. I was taught this in a group therapy setting last year (while I was still pretty much faking the whole intention to not drink thing, little did I know it would become useful in 2020).

I went and found a link for it:
https://www.rethinkingdrinking.niaaa...-To-drink.aspx

The strategy itself is under the heading --> "Cope with triggers you can't avoid"

Take care everyone. Happy Thursday

https://www.rethinkingdrinking.niaaa...-To-drink.aspx

JustTony

What do you mean first hour? Have you drank?

Strawberry18

venuscat

I know it's hard out there right now love. s ❤️
Sleep well and tomorrow is a new day. Together. s xx

dig12

Hugs Strawberry. Don't let this setback crush you. Let it motivate you! Stomp that AV out hard and spit on it while its down on the ground

Talk to you tomorrow. Be safe.

JustTony

Sleep tight. Back on the straight and narrow tomorrow.

itsmaria

Hey all. Made it through yesterday. Today is tough lol.

Actually I've been feeling better overall, my mood is better for sure the last week or so. My face seems clearer/healthier.

I've had moments/days where I don't really think about alcohol at all. I thought the long weekend that just passed would be terrible, but I just worked and it was mostly okay but now yesterday and today seem tough and another weekend.

Anyway take care all- for any Canucks in the crowd- I'm optimistic we're getting on top of this. I feel cautiously optimistic about Ontario specifically. It would be nice if we could have some kind of summer!
I see my trainer tomorrow for a 'virtual' training session so I'm hanging on to that bc I don't want to do that hung over also it would be embarrassing bc he would know.

Also I'm tired and so I'm telling myself I would do better with a good night sleep than a drink.

venuscat

I feel confident here too Maria. I am waiting for our governor to announce extended stay at home or a definite end in a few weeks. I read today that Australia thinks it has flattened the curve.....amazing for me as an Aussie to be living here now....Aus is the safest place to be just about. But I am not worried.

But I would like my life back. Bet that's a common theme. s xx ❤️

Wastinglife

Dig12, boredom is right. I am bored of being bored. I suppose if that's our biggest problem, we are doing just fine. Boredom is free whereas I normally would leave the house and waste money on something stupid.

I still can't believe the lockdown could last all summer. I keep running all sorts of scenarios in my head on what the endgame is here.....

Sober369

Hugs Strawberry. Kudos to you for coming right back, though. I hope we can help you get back to sobriety.
I'm slow these days, too. I get part way through a project and feel I need to rest up. It's awful. I know it will get better, though. I've done a lot recently, and I am only ten days sober and have just gotten over a very bad case of bronchitis. So, I am trying to remember not to push myself.
It's the times when I'm too tired to really do anything but restless at the same time that the thought of a drink comes into the background. I don't let it any further, at least haven't so far and am dedicated to ignoring it completely.
The virus is terrifying to everyone. I watched a news program tonight where they were talking about all the people who have absolutely no money, no job, no prospect of getting a job, children at home out of school needing food and where to they get that? So, they have food banks, but they are running out of food. Meanwhile, I've also heard that they are destroying tons of food crops because they can't sell them.

dig12

Fellow Canuck right here!!!

Super happy to read you made it through yesterday and hopefully the rest of today

I did notice the tone in the messaging started to change today. Not that the barn doors are flying wide open, but to hear governments begin to talk about it tells me we finally may have reason for some optimism. Having said that, can't let the guard down or we'll be right back at square one.

Have a good night, eh!

dig12

I had to venture out for groceries and a curbside pickup for furnace filters. The curbside pickup took me past a liquor store that I used to frequent. I did not go in. I didn't even contemplate it. But I had a very weird urge (probably the AV) to at least look at the place and when I did I felt a horrible sense of shame and guilt. I used my coping mechanism for getting through it and curbside pickup went well as it served as a good distraction part of my coping mechanism. On the way out I stomped out my AV by giving the liquor store the finger (below window level) and smiling happily. The craving passed, but I'm sitting home now replaying that feeling of shame and guilt and I'm just frustrated by that part of it for some reason.

*rant over*

venuscat

The shame and guilt belongs in the past.....the present you was givng the store 'the finger'.

dig.....you are wonderful. About time you gave yourself a pat on the back.
Hey, in our current situation, that is the safest way to get a 'well done mate'. s xx

dig12

Thank you venuscat

I'm gonna keep the above in mind. Or at least try to and hopefully get better and better at accepting the past and letting the shame and guilt stay there as well.

Goodnight from Canada... torch must be getting passed to the UK soon since I'd expect JT to up soon'ish. I sure hope he got some good rest in though!

Zzzzzz

Sober369

Hugs to you, Dig. You can get past those feelings. You should be very proud of yourself, most alcoholics don't recover, but you are.
Signing off from Georgia. Have a great next 8 hours or so, be it night or day!

JustTony

Day 17

Thanks Dig - I’ll pick up the torch.

I was awake too early today at 02:30 but my sleep pattern is all over the place. I am tending to get a few naps in during the day for an hour or two, as and when I feel like it, so all in all I think I’m getting about six to eight hours of sleep in per day when all added up?

My training is going up a notch too (adding to the tiredness). Yesterday I got in two 3.5 mile walks and a 30 minute, 24 set, ‘weight’ training session at home with resistance bands, barbell plates and kettle bells. I’ve now lost just over 14 pounds in 17 days, which even by my crazy dieting ‘all or nothing’ standards is a lot. Mind you I could hardly eat for the first week due to terrible stomach cramps as you all know.

On another note I feel really lucky today. On my last walk with my beloved dog yesterday his lead snapped just as we were waiting to cross the only busy through road in my area. He ran out ‘knowing’ I would stop him if it wasn’t safe for him to go via his lead (which was no longer there) if there was any danger. Luckily two cars had just passed and the other car, coming from the other direction, slowed down easily. Ten seconds before or after he would have been dead. That’s how fragile this life is. Today I would have been bereft. Suicidal even. Honestly that’s how much I love him. I’m too fragile to take any more hits right now so I am so, so, so lucky and grateful that he escaped with just a massive cuddle from me and Mrs JT. Goodness did he get some extra special treats, hugs and kisses last night.

In addition I’m trying to be equally Zen about money (of all things). We’re owed a LOT of cash from a travel company for two holidays cancelled through COVID-19. I’m pretty sure they are going bust and all our money will be lost. With my business going down the lavatory due to this pandemic this is not money I would have spent, nor can I afford to lose really. However - I keep telling myself that it’s just money and that millions upon millions are worse off than us. I just wish I could have donated that money to the charity I run (in my spare time) or to the NHS or to some good cause as opposed to just watch it slip away into the ether. I might be covered by ABTA or my credit card company but for reasons that are complicated I don’t think that we will be.

I’m sad Strawberry drank and smoked. However I have been there so many times before and these are extra additionally pressured times. I’m so proud you came right back in here to admit that you need to start over again Strawberry. At least you didn’t just hide away and stop posting like I do. You’re a better person than me and I hope you keep posting and let us all support you?

No sign of Red this morning? Where are you?

Good to see Karen, Wasting, Dig, newcomers et al all still posting. We can do this.

Well, I think that’s everything from me for now. I send you all love, strength and good wishes to get through today safely and happily.

Stay Safe. Stay Home. Stay Sober (I saw another poster stole this on another thread! I was quite proud!)

J “keeping things in perspective” T

Red78

I'm here but at work, nearly finished and have to go to the supermarket. Not worried about the virus but am worried about the wine section...
I can not drink I can not drink I can not drink

Dee74

You can do this Red - I believe in you

D