Numblady

Wow NC! How awesome you got to spend that time with your family. Very sweet and I’m sure nourishing for the soul. And double wow with the marks on your coursework. That has to feel so good and hopefully you have the pieces in place to get through the last phase. And hopefully you can get through it without putting too much pressure on yourself to keep the First Class Honours — or at least that it won’t be too much of a slog to get there.

We are driving home Friday for among other things my nephew’s graduation party (outside, socially distanced). Should be fun but there’s a lot of work to get through between now and then! I had hoped to actually take off next week but I don’t think that’s in the cards with everything happening in this case. Will just have to try and take a break later in the year.

PalmerSage

NC, things are finally looking up!!! I loved reading about your grandparents, they were probably so thrilled to see you - and your grades, on top of it! Time to use this positive momentum to power through the home stretch - when I was in grad school and working FT, we were constantly saying "get in, get your A, get out!" Seriously, you so deserve all the positivity that is coming your way. I'm really happy for you.

NL, I hope you have a good trip, even if it may be stressful getting there! Are your parents going to be there? I read about your dad on the Gratitude thread, and meant to check in to see how he's doing. I do wonder how the "doom and gloom" of our current worldview is especially impacting older folks, who are dealing with a lot already and greater social isolation on top of it. Thinking good thoughts for your family.

All is well here, although I had a crazy drinking dream last night. It's funny, I can never actually recall physically drinking alcohol in these dreams, just all the rationalizing, purchasing, hiding elements which always consumed so much of my thinking back then. It's definitely a relief to wake up to a sober reality!

NewChapterJan18

Hi Class,

NL: How was your nephew's graduation? It must have been lovely to spend time with family and gather to celebrate such a special milestone. Did you manage to take any time off work?

PS: That has totally been my approach to this whole course - "get in, get your A, get out!" As much as I love learning, I am really looking forward to closing the book on heavy duty academic stuff once my dissertation is done. I can't wait to have time again to just read and learn in a leisurely, non-pressurised way out of interest and curiosity rather than duty / obligation.

I hope everyone is keeping well - sending hugs

PalmerSage

Hi all! NC, I totally get what you're saying about learning based on curiosity vs. heavy-duty academic stuff. You will be so happy when you can check the box on this accomplishment and get back to reading for fun! How is everything going with work these days?

NL, are you still away for your nephew's graduation? I read about the whole car saga on the gratitude thread (UGH!), so I'm really hoping everything is settled now and you can enjoy your family. Or at the very least, that you can be temporarily distracted from the craziness of work.

I'm doing pretty well overall, trying to exercise more without being such a slave to the scale. It's really difficult for me to find a balance, and not tie my self-worth to my weight, which I have always done. I'm also consumed by all the debate about schools reopening (or not) and the implications for my older son as he plans to apply to colleges. Standardized tests, activities, and classroom instruction are all up in the air, and while everyone is experiencing some level of disruption, I feel like other school systems are better equipped than ours to do distance learning - ironic because we live in an area which is considered a tech hub and we have a ton of resources here. Still, I appreciate the fact that I can be an effective advocate and coach my son on being as resourceful as possible, especially when things go wrong. And I definitely recognize that we're in a privileged position relative to many others, and we're lucky that (so far) this is one of our main challenges related to the pandemic.

Hope everyone is doing well out there!

Numblady

hi guy sorry to have been so MIA. Between the car breaking down, my dad being sick while we were there, me having to work until I finally just stopped checking email on Thursday, and the far more serious issue of Coronavirus, it was not the best trip. Missed checking in with you guys and at least glad for that small bit of normalcy. I'm not feeling super awesome but hoping it's psychosomatic. Was also up from about 1-3:30 and just worked because I was so awake. So I'm in definite need of some good sleep. Sorry for the whine. I'll try and keep y'all posted here or on grat thread, and get back in a more meaningful way when some more dust settles.

PalmerSage

NL, thanks for checking in - I've been thinking/worrying about you and the family. Did you get test results for your son yet? Hoping all turns out well, we're here for you!!! xoxo

NewChapterJan18

Hi Class,

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days, time is just getting away somehow.

PS: That's so great that you're moving towards a mindset whereby exercise and weight loss inform a greater general health goal rather than a self-worth estimation. I can really relate to the struggle of trying to separate weight from self-worth - I find I am getting better as I get older, though the two are still intertwined on many levels for me. How are things unfolding on the schools re-opening, do you have any more clarity around the roadmap for this as of yet? I can imagine how frustrating and concerning it must be as a parent to have those added stresses on top of everything else going on in the new Covid-world.

NL: I was so sorry to hear about your father and your son, how are both doing now? I hope you've managed to get some decent sleep, it sounds like you have been running on empty (even moreso than usual!) Sending huge hugs

Hi to Dee, Scotty and anyone else who may be out there. Take care all

Numblady

Hi and thanks for checking in on us. My dad is still pretty up and down. i do tend to agree with my mom that there is something really wrong with him but it may just be a coincidence that he has covid. He’s getting some repeat tests starting Monday (not for Covid but for the other stuff he’s had going on, bladder etc.). He felt better yesterday — but then he used his energy to sneak out fo the house while my mom was downstairs working out. Very irresponsible. My son seems totally normal after the few days of feeling bad. My daughter has seemed the same the whole time and is doing well. I’m definitely still under the weather but nothing severe at least so far, which is good. We should hopefully get tests back today or tomorrow but really, who knows.

How are the rest of you doing?

NewChapterJan18

Hi Class,

NL: I'm sorry to hear that your dad is still up and down - hopefully the tests may give some insight into what's going on and might open up an avenue for treatment (if applicable). It is so great to hear that your son is at least back to normal, hopefully you will follow suit and be back to full health soon! How is your sister doing? I read on the grats thread that your husband is considering attending AA, that sounds like a really big step, I'm so happy that you had the chance to open up about your feelings re: alcohol and his drinking / drinking in general.

Not much to report here - my dissertation submission date is five weeks from today, so that's pretty much consuming my thoughts right now. I'm so excited to have it finally done and to regain 'freedom' outside of working hours again. The business is still in pretty much the same condition unfortunately, though things should start to slowly pick up in the coming months - right now we have to just hang in there and play by ear. My husband's back is still pretty messed up but he can at least shuffle around now and hasn't been bed bound for a couple weeks now which means he is back working which takes some of the stress off me. We have also resumed my handover to him of the finance side of things, so hopefully I can begin to exit the company by the end of July - though this is a bit ambitious. He is scheduled for a procedure in two weeks time, so we're hoping that clears up his back issues at least.

Does anyone have nice plans for the weekend? Sending hugs to all!

NewChapterJan18

Hi Class,

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing? I've been feeling pretty gloomy the past few days, though I'm chalking that up to the seeming backslide in the covid saga. At this point, it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel has been snuffed out once again and I'm finding it hard to motivate myself for anything at the moment as we trudge on in this weird purgatorial existence.

NL: I was happy to read in the grats thread that your Dad is improving somewhat, if a little up and down along the way. How are you feeling now?

PS: How go the exercise and healthy eating efforts? Mine were going pretty well for about two weeks and have come crashing down in the past 4 days whereby I have regained all the weight I had lost. LOL.

Sending hugs to all

PalmerSage

Hi all! So sorry I haven't been posting - sometimes I get confused between this and the Gratitude thread, since we're over there too, although you guys are much better than I am about responding to everyone else. I always feel like I would avoid posting there if I did that, and it would become about tracking everyone else's comments for some weird reason (especially weird considering that the connection with other people is one of the main reasons I love SR?)

NC, I'm sorry about the gloominess, and of course I can relate because I often feel the same, for no apparent reason. Are you experiencing a surge in the virus where you live? Our area is doing pretty well for the moment, but the debate about how to return to school is truly exhausting. There aren't any great options, and I'm selfishly concerned about my older son who is a junior in high school. I feel like many people can "write off" this year because the kids will have time to make it up (that's what I'm thinking about my 8th grader), but there's a lot at stake for college acceptance with course selection, activities, and standardized tests all up in the air. I know colleges will have to adapt because so many kids will be impacted in similar ways, but we're adopting the most conservative approach possible here so I hope our kids aren't worse off. As far as healthy eating and exercising, I'm SO inconsistent it's crazy.

NL, I think I lost track of how the virus affected everyone in your family! As NC said, I know your dad was sick and seems to be doing a bit better, but how about you and your son? Did you get a diagnosis, and is everyone doing OK? How about work?

Whoops, gotta go - I find I'm always running late for Zoom meetings, ugh! Catch you later!

NewChapterJan18

Hi Guys!

PS: I totally get it - I think the most important thing is just to check in and read / post in any thread as and when we need it. That's the lovely thing about this class and the gratters, there is absolutely no obligation or pressure to post or keep up - it's just an open forum of support That's the weird thing, we're not really seeing a surge at all, there are only a handful of cases and no deaths, but the local politicians are doubling down with draconian messaging and threatening further restrictions / returning to previous more stringent measures, so it's quite hard to feel any sense of light or progress or to understand the logic of the people dictating these decisions, particularly when all other health care treatments and services are being paused as a result, which is detrimental to an already backed up health system. Not to mention the annihilation of our economy, massive job losses and businesses closing for good. I really feel for kids and young adults of school going and college age - it is a travesty that their education is being disrupted in this way for such an extended period. It is already so stressful for kids these days with the pressures of college apps etc., without adding this uncertainty to the mix for them - and of course you, the parents. I whole heartedly understand the need to protect the vulnerable in our societies, but I can't help but feel there must be a better way than this as the current measures are causing far more casualties in other senses, and across healthcare. Sigh. In any case, it is out of our control I guess, so the only thing to do is try to keep on keeping on and hope that this all passes sooner rather than later.

Sending hugs

Numblady

wow I didn’t realize how long I’d been absent from here. good to check in. I’m allowing myself a tiny slot of personal time before I get to work. I’m back to being about beyond breaking point but I guess this is all good information for me to make a different decision after giving this gig let’s say 6 months to see if it does in fact fluctuate some.

PS I like the way NC explained these forums. An open source of support when we need it but no obligation. I think people use grat forum in different ways and I agree it would be too hard to try and respond to everyone, nor do I think anyone expects that. I also don’t post in evening grats for same reason. It felt like it would seem too chore-like. I love starting my day trying to focus on positive thoughts — but feeling like I had to check in before bed would just stress me out and depress me. So I don’t do it.

NC, hoping if nothing else focusing on the dissertation will just allow you to triage and then you can deal with more of the other aspects of your life when you are through that. Of course, it sounds like the business is an expanding creature that reaches in to other aspects of your life no matter what. Hope you can cycle out close to your goal date and that your hubby’s back improves. that is a lot of added stress all around. And I agree with a lot of the things you are saying around the protective measures having other negative consequences. Just doing what I do for a living I’ve had to continue to shut out of my mind the worries I have for all the kids who are hungry or being hurt and won’t have the normal safety net. I worry for refugees and for the elderly. Actually, I should say i try to just close my mind to those worries. They could consume you and still won’t actually change much of anything.

Hope you both get some weekend relaxation. PS I am so jealous of alone time and how cool is it that your husband does fun things with the kids. mine will take ours for a day trip here and there which is cool but that’s the most I can hope for.

Oh and when I said he was considering AA it was more that I asked him to consider it. He is almost certain to not go. I had a very negative therapy session after I told her about some pretty awful stuff my husband did, during which I am sure he had been drinking, and she was basically horrified that I hadn’t told him to stop drinking. I’m not ready to give him an ultimatum so I asked him to consider AA. I don’t think he will do it, nor do I think he is really considering it. He thinks he already did AA because he was a drug addict and had one sober year like 25 years ago. I don’t think AA is the only path but I also know he does have a drinking problem. Sigh.

Well on that note, gotta run!

NewChapterJan18

Hi Guys, I hope everyone is keeping well

NL: I'm sorry to hear that things are at breaking point work-wise. I can't imagine the pressures faced in your sector, the ever mounting demands and responsibility juxtaposed with the increasingly insufficient resources. I hope that you can find a solution to safeguard your health and wellbeing. I am on the exact same page with regards to having to shut things out - I feel I've reached a point where denial is the only option to stop myself from losing my mind. The world's problems seem to just devolve at an exponential rate and if I think about it too much, I end up in a dark mental pit. Though I know that ignoring the issues is not the optimal response, I feel like right now it's all I've got. I'm sorry that you had a tough therapy session, though it sounds as though it may have been cathartic to say those things out loud in a safe space, so that you might be able to pick through them with your therapist in future sessions. Even the tallest trees started as tiny seeds, so perhaps the conversation about AA may lead somewhere with your husband after all, even if it isn't AA as you said, but maybe even a different path to sobriety or addressing his drinking demons.

Sending love, I appreciate you all so much.

Numblady

Hi Peeps. Just saying hi and seeing if you’re hanging in there. I know I’m mostly on grats as are you both but I agree with PS it’s nice to also have the place where we can openly vent. And miss our old classmates we don’t see anymore, like Scotty and Sunflower. And Chase! And Milly and others. I wonder how they are getting along. Sunflower I can and should just text.

Not much planned here for the weekend. Mainly gonna try to pick up some of the pieces of spending all my time working and just straighten up, etc. Feels like the whole house is in disarray. Not feels like. Is. There are just piles of mess everywhere. Just dirty and messy and gross everywhere you look. It would feel good to get the space a bit cleaner.

How about y’all?

Numblady

Ha! Was worried I was super behind on posts. Will try to catch up on grats. Hope you’re hanging in there. Hugs!

Dee74

Hi NL

D

Numblady

Hello there Dee! Nice to see you as always

Dee74

Thanks numblady you too

D

PalmerSage

Hi guys, I was thinking the same thing about feeling super behind - not so much! Everything is going pretty well for me, with the exception of some behavior issues we're having with our younger son (who almost never has issues, so imagine our shock when he turned into a sullen teenager seemingly overnight!) I know he's really affected by the social isolation, so we're going to do more to find ways for him to connect with friends and more activities, because in the meantime he's becoming overly attached to his first girlfriend, at age 13. SERENITY NOW. I hope everyone is doing well, and I'll check back soon!