Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 10
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Day two of lockdown here. We have police checking on people moving about. There are essential businesses operating, but in terms of public access we can only leave our homes to go to the supermarket, pharmacy, Drs (but call first, most consults are done by phone & video) and the vet. Walking in your neighbourhood is allowed, driving to parks etc is not.
Everything is so quiet, it is too soon to feel too isolated, right now it is just a quiet weekend kind of feel, but that will change for many as the days go on.
I have noticed how many people reference drinking as a way to cope, I’ve felt a twinge of AV, but nothing serious. At the moment it is the temptation to boredom eat that I am fighting - the carbs be calling me.
Everything is so quiet, it is too soon to feel too isolated, right now it is just a quiet weekend kind of feel, but that will change for many as the days go on.
I have noticed how many people reference drinking as a way to cope, I’ve felt a twinge of AV, but nothing serious. At the moment it is the temptation to boredom eat that I am fighting - the carbs be calling me.
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PS, sure hope you get good news! A lot of our staff unfortunately have the worst of all worlds. They have some flexibility because they do field work and are largely mobile because they have to get to homes, offices, courts and other places to do their jobs but they are still regularly on call after hours or they have to do really tough stuff like stay in an office for a youth who we can’t find a placement for. They are such amazing people! At least, many of them are.
Scotty, lockdown sounds hard core. Glad you are coping okay. The AV has snuck in for me a little but only in the sense this whole thing is so absurd it feels like I’m a little unmoored from my basics.
Had a zoom therapy session yesterday. It was not good. It was kind of glitchy and i had to hole up in someone else’s office (long story but I was skipping a noon call my office neighbor was on and it just would have been even harder to concentrate). It was very awkward, and I already find the whole thing awkward. Hopefully next week I can find a better set up.
Hope y’all keep hanging in there!
Scotty, lockdown sounds hard core. Glad you are coping okay. The AV has snuck in for me a little but only in the sense this whole thing is so absurd it feels like I’m a little unmoored from my basics.
Had a zoom therapy session yesterday. It was not good. It was kind of glitchy and i had to hole up in someone else’s office (long story but I was skipping a noon call my office neighbor was on and it just would have been even harder to concentrate). It was very awkward, and I already find the whole thing awkward. Hopefully next week I can find a better set up.
Hope y’all keep hanging in there!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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hey NL
Yes Zoom has its limitations not only as a platform, but also as a way of connecting. It’s better than the phone I think, but still feels that one step removed. I think it is awesome that you are doing it especially in the environment you are in.
Your observation about AV and surrealism is spot on, I think that is what I feel a bit too. This lockdown of an entire country feels a bit like an out of body experience, but with that goes a sense of all the rules have changed. In lots of ways that means more restrictions, but it also means where what you want, get up when you want, watch what you want etc a bit like an extended snow day and with that comes the whisper of AV adding ‘drink what you want’. I won’t, but I recognise the danger.
Tomorrow I am going to find an online exercise class and do that before settling into my home office.
Kia kaha everyone (a Māori phrase meaning ‘stay strong)
Yes Zoom has its limitations not only as a platform, but also as a way of connecting. It’s better than the phone I think, but still feels that one step removed. I think it is awesome that you are doing it especially in the environment you are in.
Your observation about AV and surrealism is spot on, I think that is what I feel a bit too. This lockdown of an entire country feels a bit like an out of body experience, but with that goes a sense of all the rules have changed. In lots of ways that means more restrictions, but it also means where what you want, get up when you want, watch what you want etc a bit like an extended snow day and with that comes the whisper of AV adding ‘drink what you want’. I won’t, but I recognise the danger.
Tomorrow I am going to find an online exercise class and do that before settling into my home office.
Kia kaha everyone (a Māori phrase meaning ‘stay strong)
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thanks Scotty! Kiki Kaha to you too! BTW most of my exercising has been online for a while now. My absolute favorite all around is Sydney Cummings. All free and on YouTube. No matter what level you are she offers modifications to pretty much everything. And she has challenges/programs along with playlists to do things a la carte. You may be looking for something different but for general toning, conditioning, health I have really enjoyed her workouts. And of course I have my favorite online yoga teachers if you’re into that.
Hi NC and PS and Dee!
Isolation going ok here. My husband ran a virtual marathon yesterday which was pretty cool and then I made him breakfast which he seemed to enjoy. But stuff with my son and staying off screens and managing frustration has been a challenge. He just gets so angry and it’s so hard not to get worked up. I changed the WiFi password yesterday just because he was refusing to shut off his game and I refuse to have a physical struggle over it. There are bright moments though. He and i have been trying to figure out how to obtain and plant a couple orange trees. And I’ve been doing a fair amount of wrestling/tickling (this game I made up called family therapy where I just kind of toss him around on the bed and we pillow fight and I get out my frustration in a way that he LOVES; he asks me to do it all the time which leads to the bizarre dynamic of him pleading repeatedly, “beat me up. Beat me up. Beat me up. “)
. My husband gets a lot done around the house but he doesn’t have a ton of direct interaction/supervision/play with them, which can be a bummer. Of course, yesterday he did run an entire marathon and then work in the yard but it just bummed me out to see his idea of spending time with our son was to sit and look at his phone and drink while expecting him to just go off and happily jump on the trampoline. But parts of it were just a really nice day like eating outside and then letting my daughter choreograph a dance for us. We had a lot of laughs and I’m sure looked ridiculous but I’m grateful for the time together.
Well speaking of online yoga reckon I should get some stuff done and then make myself do some! Have a great day y’all.
Hi NC and PS and Dee!
Isolation going ok here. My husband ran a virtual marathon yesterday which was pretty cool and then I made him breakfast which he seemed to enjoy. But stuff with my son and staying off screens and managing frustration has been a challenge. He just gets so angry and it’s so hard not to get worked up. I changed the WiFi password yesterday just because he was refusing to shut off his game and I refuse to have a physical struggle over it. There are bright moments though. He and i have been trying to figure out how to obtain and plant a couple orange trees. And I’ve been doing a fair amount of wrestling/tickling (this game I made up called family therapy where I just kind of toss him around on the bed and we pillow fight and I get out my frustration in a way that he LOVES; he asks me to do it all the time which leads to the bizarre dynamic of him pleading repeatedly, “beat me up. Beat me up. Beat me up. “)
. My husband gets a lot done around the house but he doesn’t have a ton of direct interaction/supervision/play with them, which can be a bummer. Of course, yesterday he did run an entire marathon and then work in the yard but it just bummed me out to see his idea of spending time with our son was to sit and look at his phone and drink while expecting him to just go off and happily jump on the trampoline. But parts of it were just a really nice day like eating outside and then letting my daughter choreograph a dance for us. We had a lot of laughs and I’m sure looked ridiculous but I’m grateful for the time together.Well speaking of online yoga reckon I should get some stuff done and then make myself do some! Have a great day y’all.
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Hi all! NL, I'm so sorry because I wasn't thinking about the nature of child welfare work, so many are definitely heroes! I've seen a lot of posts about teachers, and how parents should be very patient because they have their own families to worry about as they are trying to figure out things like distance learning, and comments like "don't worry about homeschooling, just enjoy your children," which is obviously true and important. But then I think about how the general public would never make that case for people in social services roles, partly because of the emergency/true life or death nature of serving those who are most vulnerable, but probably also because the people who need them don't always have a voice. Like teachers and public safety are in a totally different class of government worker, if that makes sense (stepping off my soapbox now, haha!) 
On another note, I'm so glad you had a good day with the family yesterday. This struggle over screens is one of the absolute WORST, isn't it?
Scotty, this is all so surreal, and I'm so interested in learning about how this is being handled in other countries. In my part of the US, we can move freely and some businesses are open, but we're only supposed to go places that we really need to (mostly grocery stores). It will be interesting to see if and when that changes, as our cases of the virus are increasing daily.
NC, it's great to see you drive through, and I hope you're hanging in there, friend!
The weather here is very gray and gloomy, which really has an impact on my overall mood. Yesterday was kind of productive, but I definitely felt very restless and anxious most of the time. In other news, I was offered the new job and I accepted! The idea of giving my notice over the phone and to someone other than my direct supervisor (she has cancer and recently had two surgeries) is really weighing on me. Gotta go, more later!
On another note, I'm so glad you had a good day with the family yesterday. This struggle over screens is one of the absolute WORST, isn't it?Scotty, this is all so surreal, and I'm so interested in learning about how this is being handled in other countries. In my part of the US, we can move freely and some businesses are open, but we're only supposed to go places that we really need to (mostly grocery stores). It will be interesting to see if and when that changes, as our cases of the virus are increasing daily.
NC, it's great to see you drive through, and I hope you're hanging in there, friend!
The weather here is very gray and gloomy, which really has an impact on my overall mood. Yesterday was kind of productive, but I definitely felt very restless and anxious most of the time. In other news, I was offered the new job and I accepted! The idea of giving my notice over the phone and to someone other than my direct supervisor (she has cancer and recently had two surgeries) is really weighing on me. Gotta go, more later!
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CONGRATS PS!!! I’m so happy for you and know you will figure out the right path for you on giving notice. And you definitely understand the nature of child welfare work; very tough. I’m not on the front lines but I can tell you my job cares not one whit about the fact I’m supposed to be dealing with my kids now too.
ugh. I thought I should just get up because i couldn’t really sleep but I feel so tired. I woke up before 4. It made sense at the time but now I am regretting it!
Ok hope everyone has a productive Monday.
ugh. I thought I should just get up because i couldn’t really sleep but I feel so tired. I woke up before 4. It made sense at the time but now I am regretting it!
Ok hope everyone has a productive Monday.
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@PS great news about the new job, I know giving notice is hard, especially as I know you will be an employee that they will hate to lose, but this a great new direction for you.
Your comments about teachers are interesting. Here in NZ we have ten week terms followed by 2 weeks holidays, except at Summer when we have six weeks off. We went into lockdown at week 8 so the government announced they were bringing the school holidays forward by 2 weeks, which was the best decision. No teachers I know are having a holiday, we are meeting everyday via zoom and conference calls to try to plan what our digital platform will look like and then going away to plan the lessons and units that will be delivered, while all settling our own families into lockdown. There are lots of comments floating around about teachers here too, but not a lot of understanding around what is happening behind the scenes.
It’s going to be really interesting when the holidays are over and class teaching resumes. At my son’s high school they are keeping the same timetable. He will log on, watch a video from the teacher explaining the work for that session, then the teacher sits in the virtual classroom to answer any questions and students share their work via google docs which the teacher marks and advises on. They also have individual face to face zoom chats with their teachers once a week.
In my school it is different, the range of ages and abilities in a primary school is huge, from kids who cannot yet write or spell to ten year olds. That is where planning is trickier because parents are needed to be involved in the learning far more and there is a real awareness of the need to keep kids engaged and learning while not adding to parental stress in lockdown.
The other big side of teachers roles here is the pastoral care part. I am ringing every family with a learner with diverse needs to see how they are doing and what support they need. We are all very conscious too that when we video chat with the children themselves there is always a possibility of them making a disclosure that something is happening at home that feels unsafe, so a lot of training is going on about how to handle that in a lockdown situation.
I feel for families who are not technically savvy, but also for those fighting the screen time battle when school inevitably will need screens and keeping kids on task will be a source of tension for families.
In other news my son and I had an awesome movie night at home with popcorn, and a failed attempt on my part to make a frozen coke lol. He has wanted to watch ‘Airplane’ for ages, boy was that like taking a step back in time. I was his age when it came out, a spoof obviously, but still a reminder of what air travel was like (back when air travel was possible!)
My dog is loving lockdown, they are the real winners in this situation - loved the news story about the sausage dog who was so happy to have his family home all the time he sprained his tail from wagging it too much (he’s fine now).
Your comments about teachers are interesting. Here in NZ we have ten week terms followed by 2 weeks holidays, except at Summer when we have six weeks off. We went into lockdown at week 8 so the government announced they were bringing the school holidays forward by 2 weeks, which was the best decision. No teachers I know are having a holiday, we are meeting everyday via zoom and conference calls to try to plan what our digital platform will look like and then going away to plan the lessons and units that will be delivered, while all settling our own families into lockdown. There are lots of comments floating around about teachers here too, but not a lot of understanding around what is happening behind the scenes.
It’s going to be really interesting when the holidays are over and class teaching resumes. At my son’s high school they are keeping the same timetable. He will log on, watch a video from the teacher explaining the work for that session, then the teacher sits in the virtual classroom to answer any questions and students share their work via google docs which the teacher marks and advises on. They also have individual face to face zoom chats with their teachers once a week.
In my school it is different, the range of ages and abilities in a primary school is huge, from kids who cannot yet write or spell to ten year olds. That is where planning is trickier because parents are needed to be involved in the learning far more and there is a real awareness of the need to keep kids engaged and learning while not adding to parental stress in lockdown.
The other big side of teachers roles here is the pastoral care part. I am ringing every family with a learner with diverse needs to see how they are doing and what support they need. We are all very conscious too that when we video chat with the children themselves there is always a possibility of them making a disclosure that something is happening at home that feels unsafe, so a lot of training is going on about how to handle that in a lockdown situation.
I feel for families who are not technically savvy, but also for those fighting the screen time battle when school inevitably will need screens and keeping kids on task will be a source of tension for families.
In other news my son and I had an awesome movie night at home with popcorn, and a failed attempt on my part to make a frozen coke lol. He has wanted to watch ‘Airplane’ for ages, boy was that like taking a step back in time. I was his age when it came out, a spoof obviously, but still a reminder of what air travel was like (back when air travel was possible!)
My dog is loving lockdown, they are the real winners in this situation - loved the news story about the sausage dog who was so happy to have his family home all the time he sprained his tail from wagging it too much (he’s fine now).
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Scotty, very interesting to hear more about what is going on for educators behind the scenes. I know our schools have been working in the background too. Seeing a lot of comments about asking parents to not be hyper critical of the lessons and curriculum (and I’m like, I’ll just be glad there is ANY thing for them other than mindless screens). This is good because I just saw a graphic that the illness is not expected to peak here until May. Hard to imagine we’re not even to the really rough part yet.
Movie night sounds fun. When we watched Back to the Future it was the same kind of thing, going back in time. 1985. We’re basically almost to the year of the future dr. Brown went forward to. Funny. I don’t feel like that. I feel like 1985 isn’t that long ago. Anyhow, in the course of this I finally tried a DIY microwave popcorn. It wasn’t awesome but I see room for improvement and it makes me happy we could skip the strange ingredients in the store bought versions if it comes to that. Plus use up the bag of popcorn I’ve had lying around for so long. I love using up all this food, though my husband seems to keep buying more. Last night i made a recipe using leeks from the garden (they just volunteered after last year; I didn’t plan anything this year) and some carrots we needed to use. Simply and involving only butter, brown sugar and kosher salt as additional ingredients. Yum!
Ok I am procrastinating the stuff I need to do. Have a great day!
Movie night sounds fun. When we watched Back to the Future it was the same kind of thing, going back in time. 1985. We’re basically almost to the year of the future dr. Brown went forward to. Funny. I don’t feel like that. I feel like 1985 isn’t that long ago. Anyhow, in the course of this I finally tried a DIY microwave popcorn. It wasn’t awesome but I see room for improvement and it makes me happy we could skip the strange ingredients in the store bought versions if it comes to that. Plus use up the bag of popcorn I’ve had lying around for so long. I love using up all this food, though my husband seems to keep buying more. Last night i made a recipe using leeks from the garden (they just volunteered after last year; I didn’t plan anything this year) and some carrots we needed to use. Simply and involving only butter, brown sugar and kosher salt as additional ingredients. Yum!
Ok I am procrastinating the stuff I need to do. Have a great day!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi All,
Just a quick post to check in with everyone and send some love. Things have been pretty brutal here so haven’t had a spare minute to get to post as I would like - hopefully this weekend. Hope everyone is taking care.
Palmer: CONGRATULATIONS on the new job, so happy for you!
Sending hugs
Just a quick post to check in with everyone and send some love. Things have been pretty brutal here so haven’t had a spare minute to get to post as I would like - hopefully this weekend. Hope everyone is taking care.
Palmer: CONGRATULATIONS on the new job, so happy for you!
Sending hugs
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Hi all! NC, thank you so much, and I'm so sorry things have been so crazy for you! Are you still able to take your horse out to ride? I think of you when I walk past our neighborhood stables.
NL, your leeks sound great, and your husband sounds like mine - buybuybuy all the groceries! I hope the kids are hanging in there and not driving you too crazy as you try to work while keeping them occupied. 80s movies are always a good bet!
Scotty, you sound very busy too, and great choice with Airplane - we watched Naked Gun recently and my boys loved the stupid humor!
More later, be back soon!
NL, your leeks sound great, and your husband sounds like mine - buybuybuy all the groceries! I hope the kids are hanging in there and not driving you too crazy as you try to work while keeping them occupied. 80s movies are always a good bet!
Scotty, you sound very busy too, and great choice with Airplane - we watched Naked Gun recently and my boys loved the stupid humor!
More later, be back soon!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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How’s everybody doing?
PS, yeah I’m really wishing he would stop going to the grocery store so much. It’s the highlight of his day, that and planning dinner (though the virtual happy hours he keeps doing seem to be the real highlight of his day if I’m being honest). But we just need to minimize time going to any stores it seems to me.
Scotty, any more movies in the line-up? I think we are doing family movie night though sometimes it’s hard to get the boys to participate. My daughter is cashing in her xmas coupon for family movie night but wants to watch frozen 2. I’ve heard it’s great but may be a tough sell for the guys. Hopefully I can lure them with movie candy. I guess “Santa” didn’t really think the movie coupon all the way through.
NC, hanging in there? Sorry about the brutal week.
going sort of ok here. Some good some bad. Work still stressful but our judge was semi reasonable with us yesterday which has lightened my mental load somewhat in the immediate term. Husband and I definitely not doing great. Had therapy yesterday, which was good this time. It’s like every other one I think that it’s good I’m doing it.And then the other times just feel like idle talking. She’s giving me concrete and small steps to take to add joy back into my life, and I think that’s pretty cool.
Anyhow, hope to hear how it’s going with you all soon.
PS, yeah I’m really wishing he would stop going to the grocery store so much. It’s the highlight of his day, that and planning dinner (though the virtual happy hours he keeps doing seem to be the real highlight of his day if I’m being honest). But we just need to minimize time going to any stores it seems to me.
Scotty, any more movies in the line-up? I think we are doing family movie night though sometimes it’s hard to get the boys to participate. My daughter is cashing in her xmas coupon for family movie night but wants to watch frozen 2. I’ve heard it’s great but may be a tough sell for the guys. Hopefully I can lure them with movie candy.
I guess “Santa” didn’t really think the movie coupon all the way through. NC, hanging in there? Sorry about the brutal week.
going sort of ok here. Some good some bad. Work still stressful but our judge was semi reasonable with us yesterday which has lightened my mental load somewhat in the immediate term. Husband and I definitely not doing great. Had therapy yesterday, which was good this time. It’s like every other one I think that it’s good I’m doing it.And then the other times just feel like idle talking. She’s giving me concrete and small steps to take to add joy back into my life, and I think that’s pretty cool.
Anyhow, hope to hear how it’s going with you all soon.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi Class,
I hope everyone is doing OK out there. Thinking of you all and your families.
Palmer: Yes, thankfully I still get to see my sweet horse as the restrictions still allow for leaving your house to tend to the welfare of animals. Though the visits are shorter, just to feed / groom and light exercise, it is such a lifeline right now and I am so grateful that I still get to see him. He is also being super affectionate and snuggly at the moment which isn't usually his style - it's like he can sense I need a hug! LOL He is keeping what little is left o f my sanity intact. I love the 80s movies idea - 80s/90s movies are always fun to revisit.
NL: I think a lot of men are in the same boat - volunteering for more trips to the grocery store in the past weeks than probably the 10 years leading up to now! I love the family movie night coupon idea - that is so sweet. I hope the boys decided to be good sports and join, even if only for the candy! I'm so happy to hear that you caught a break in the form of the judge yesterday, every little helps right now and anything that can reduce stress even a little goes a long way. I'm sorry things with your husband aren't great right now. The pressure of this whole situation is taking its toll on everyone. Hubby and I have also been on strange terms. Good to hear that therapy is helping, even if only sporadically so.
Dee and Scotty, I hope you're keeping well. Sending big hugs to everyone
I hope everyone is doing OK out there. Thinking of you all and your families.
Palmer: Yes, thankfully I still get to see my sweet horse as the restrictions still allow for leaving your house to tend to the welfare of animals. Though the visits are shorter, just to feed / groom and light exercise, it is such a lifeline right now and I am so grateful that I still get to see him. He is also being super affectionate and snuggly at the moment which isn't usually his style - it's like he can sense I need a hug! LOL He is keeping what little is left o f my sanity intact. I love the 80s movies idea - 80s/90s movies are always fun to revisit.
NL: I think a lot of men are in the same boat - volunteering for more trips to the grocery store in the past weeks than probably the 10 years leading up to now! I love the family movie night coupon idea - that is so sweet. I hope the boys decided to be good sports and join, even if only for the candy! I'm so happy to hear that you caught a break in the form of the judge yesterday, every little helps right now and anything that can reduce stress even a little goes a long way. I'm sorry things with your husband aren't great right now. The pressure of this whole situation is taking its toll on everyone. Hubby and I have also been on strange terms. Good to hear that therapy is helping, even if only sporadically so.
Dee and Scotty, I hope you're keeping well. Sending big hugs to everyone
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Hi all! Checking in on another sunny day, it's been amazing to have all of this great weather. Yesterday, I actually went to my office to clean it out and take my personal items home - I consider myself (kind of) a minimalist, so it was pretty funny to see all of the crap I d accumulated there in just 6 short months, including a bunch of artwork and two lamps. Still, it was fairly fast and easy and it definitely had to be done.
We had our weekly video call with all of our staff, and I was thinking my boss would mention my leaving so I could thank everyone, but no - he simply addressed everything to the person I recruited internally to replace me (which helped them simply because this is an area where my boss and others in the org have little or no expertise, and it's considered very essential to our boards and commissions). He also didn't reply to my email thanking him for the opportunity, so I know he's taking my departure personally. Normally, I would allow this to bother me even more and jump through hoops to make sure he knew how much he was doing, but I don't know if it's sobriety or pure laziness, but I'm more than I am (it definitely DOES bother me), but I'm really trying to focus on getting out of there and preserving the positive connections I've made. He's a very powerful and influential person, so I would never want to overtly offend him, but maybe I can take this opportunity to kind of drift away and be OK with it.
I've thought about drinking much more frequently this week, even briefly wondering whether it would actually help me during this stressful time (!!!!!!) and noticing the beer and wine aisles at the grocery store. I tell myself that this is merely a test from the universe and if I can get through this time, I'll come out stronger in my sobriety and overall. I'm also overeating like crazy, which is only partially balanced by the walks I'm taking. Sigh.
I hope everyone else is hanging in there!
We had our weekly video call with all of our staff, and I was thinking my boss would mention my leaving so I could thank everyone, but no - he simply addressed everything to the person I recruited internally to replace me (which helped them simply because this is an area where my boss and others in the org have little or no expertise, and it's considered very essential to our boards and commissions). He also didn't reply to my email thanking him for the opportunity, so I know he's taking my departure personally. Normally, I would allow this to bother me even more and jump through hoops to make sure he knew how much he was doing, but I don't know if it's sobriety or pure laziness, but I'm more than I am (it definitely DOES bother me), but I'm really trying to focus on getting out of there and preserving the positive connections I've made. He's a very powerful and influential person, so I would never want to overtly offend him, but maybe I can take this opportunity to kind of drift away and be OK with it.
I've thought about drinking much more frequently this week, even briefly wondering whether it would actually help me during this stressful time (!!!!!!) and noticing the beer and wine aisles at the grocery store. I tell myself that this is merely a test from the universe and if I can get through this time, I'll come out stronger in my sobriety and overall. I'm also overeating like crazy, which is only partially balanced by the walks I'm taking. Sigh.
I hope everyone else is hanging in there!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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PS yeah seriously I don’t know what it is about the eating. My appetite seems like it’s about 17 times higher than it used to be. And it was already pretty big! I’m feeling some sadness for the in-shape me and the way she looked but I also feel like we are in a different mode right now. I need to work out for mental health but beating myself up while trying to get through quarantine and do as good a job as possible with my kids, which by the way is probably not very good! I’m sorry your soon to be former boss was a little spiteful about the whole thing and that you can find another opportunity to say the things you wanted to say to the team. Remind me...when do you start the new job?
NC, so glad you are still able to get out to see your horse. That is such a lifeline.
Things are definitely still rough with my husband and sometimes with my kids. The book and therapy are still helping me look at the kids in a much more sympathetic light and I’ve only lost my cool once so far. But my son is still going deeper into screen addiction and I’m not finding a great way to stop it while working. Going to keep trying. Things with husband are just ... not good. He got mad at my daughter last night and said he was leaving and he didn’t know if he was coming back. Super mature. And of course he’d spent several hours drinking first so that certainly didn’t help. Going to talk to the therapist to see if there is a way to view him in a more sympathetic light because right now I just want to pack up the kids and go home to my mom and dad’s. (Also very mature, right?).
Dee, love the new meme/pic in your signature line! It’s perfect.
Stay safe everybody.
NC, so glad you are still able to get out to see your horse. That is such a lifeline.
Things are definitely still rough with my husband and sometimes with my kids. The book and therapy are still helping me look at the kids in a much more sympathetic light and I’ve only lost my cool once so far. But my son is still going deeper into screen addiction and I’m not finding a great way to stop it while working. Going to keep trying. Things with husband are just ... not good. He got mad at my daughter last night and said he was leaving and he didn’t know if he was coming back. Super mature. And of course he’d spent several hours drinking first so that certainly didn’t help. Going to talk to the therapist to see if there is a way to view him in a more sympathetic light because right now I just want to pack up the kids and go home to my mom and dad’s. (Also very mature, right?).
Dee, love the new meme/pic in your signature line! It’s perfect.
Stay safe everybody.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Hey everyone,
2 weeks into lockdown here in NZ and the number of cases recovered is higher than new cases which is encouraging. My work life is absolutely insane and there is so much stress among teachers as they frantically try to prepare and I am doing a lot of listening to anxious staff, parents and children as this new reality takes hold.
Things with my son have been rough, he becomes overwhelmed by the lockdown and has literally screaming rages which can become violent towards me and himself. The emergency zoom meeting with his psychiatrist meant we have changed his medication, but so far it has not made much difference. A friend of mind who is a neuroscientist talked about changes to the human brain in adults who are in home detention and how it can take time for people to settle in, so I am hoping he will turn a corner soon. We are of course both gutted our trip to NY will not go ahead and desperately worried about our family there.
@PS sorry to hear about how your boss is reacting. I guess at the moment none of us really knows the pressure and anxiety that is going in in anyone’s life and that is getting in the way of people being their best selves. Well done for reacting with your characteristic grace and recognising that perhaps quietly stepping away is the best approach.
I totally hear you about the call of alcohol, I was doing fine and it was just a whisper, but it has turned up the volume this week and is trying to seep in with ‘would the occasional drink really matter just in lockdown’ kind of thoughts. I think too there are just so many references to ‘wine o’clock’ and people having virtual happy hours as a way of coping that it is more in my face than usual and there is that old sense of being denied something positive that existed at the start of this sober journey. I continue to play the tape forward and remind myself that swallowing a carcinogenic, poison that will damage my immune system is not the right solution to a pandemic. Now I just need to learn to step.away.from.the.fridge.
NL I am sorry things are so tough with your husband at the moment. As part of the wellbeing checks on families I am doing I am hearing from a lot of women about how poorly their partners are handling being home with the kids fulltime. There are a lot of stressors on women, many of whom are working from home too, to also be the primary caregiver for children in lockdown and it is creating a lot of marital tension.
Screentime addiction is a battle with my son too. At 18 we are calling lockdown ‘flatmate training’ there are 3 rooms in our house that are ‘his’ (bedroom, spare room & a bathroom). He has to clean and tidy them before any screentime is allowed. He has to help cook a meal every second night with the aim that as the weeks progress he will cook them independently and I am paying him to walk our dog for at least an hour. We also have family screentime where we watch something together or play a video game together, just to get that social connection going. He is still on his screen far too much, but I am working long hours at home and there are limited options.
We had our second movie night where we watched It part 2 (his choice of course) it is really helping to have these ‘treats’ as part of the weekend, just to feel a break in the routine. The next movie is my choice!
NC I am so pleased you are able to be with your horse, animal welfare is essential for them, but also for us I think. Our new rescue dog has been my main motivator for getting out for a good walk everyday and it does help, their sweet trust and lack of awareness of what is going on can be quite grounding.
Kia kaha everyone
2 weeks into lockdown here in NZ and the number of cases recovered is higher than new cases which is encouraging. My work life is absolutely insane and there is so much stress among teachers as they frantically try to prepare and I am doing a lot of listening to anxious staff, parents and children as this new reality takes hold.
Things with my son have been rough, he becomes overwhelmed by the lockdown and has literally screaming rages which can become violent towards me and himself. The emergency zoom meeting with his psychiatrist meant we have changed his medication, but so far it has not made much difference. A friend of mind who is a neuroscientist talked about changes to the human brain in adults who are in home detention and how it can take time for people to settle in, so I am hoping he will turn a corner soon. We are of course both gutted our trip to NY will not go ahead and desperately worried about our family there.
@PS sorry to hear about how your boss is reacting. I guess at the moment none of us really knows the pressure and anxiety that is going in in anyone’s life and that is getting in the way of people being their best selves. Well done for reacting with your characteristic grace and recognising that perhaps quietly stepping away is the best approach.
I totally hear you about the call of alcohol, I was doing fine and it was just a whisper, but it has turned up the volume this week and is trying to seep in with ‘would the occasional drink really matter just in lockdown’ kind of thoughts. I think too there are just so many references to ‘wine o’clock’ and people having virtual happy hours as a way of coping that it is more in my face than usual and there is that old sense of being denied something positive that existed at the start of this sober journey. I continue to play the tape forward and remind myself that swallowing a carcinogenic, poison that will damage my immune system is not the right solution to a pandemic. Now I just need to learn to step.away.from.the.fridge.
NL I am sorry things are so tough with your husband at the moment. As part of the wellbeing checks on families I am doing I am hearing from a lot of women about how poorly their partners are handling being home with the kids fulltime. There are a lot of stressors on women, many of whom are working from home too, to also be the primary caregiver for children in lockdown and it is creating a lot of marital tension.
Screentime addiction is a battle with my son too. At 18 we are calling lockdown ‘flatmate training’ there are 3 rooms in our house that are ‘his’ (bedroom, spare room & a bathroom). He has to clean and tidy them before any screentime is allowed. He has to help cook a meal every second night with the aim that as the weeks progress he will cook them independently and I am paying him to walk our dog for at least an hour. We also have family screentime where we watch something together or play a video game together, just to get that social connection going. He is still on his screen far too much, but I am working long hours at home and there are limited options.
We had our second movie night where we watched It part 2 (his choice of course) it is really helping to have these ‘treats’ as part of the weekend, just to feel a break in the routine. The next movie is my choice!
NC I am so pleased you are able to be with your horse, animal welfare is essential for them, but also for us I think. Our new rescue dog has been my main motivator for getting out for a good walk everyday and it does help, their sweet trust and lack of awareness of what is going on can be quite grounding.
Kia kaha everyone
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Good to hear from you Scotty - I hope your son will settle in a little more - but I also hope that you guys won't have total lockdown forever.
Its a tough situation you're in - please stay safe.
D
Its a tough situation you're in - please stay safe.
D
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