Class of January 2020 PART 5
s xx
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
The AV is a relentless beast Fish. Don’t blame yourself. It’s great that you recognised it hanging around. It’s a sneaky conniving conman and it’s good to catch it and call it out for it’s true nature, but sometimes it sneaks in when we’re not even aware it’s snuck in. So it’s great that you recognised it before it did any damage.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 414
Good morning, everyone!
I'm feeling slightly better today... Thankfully it's a warm day. Suze, yes it does feel like a coldy virus thing... It should run its course soon.
I had an AV dream last night. It was coming down hard on me so I'd resolved to drink. However, yet again, I talked myself into posting here first and SR came to the rescue. Goes to show how much SR I have in my mind.
Thankfully, in real life, I don't have any desire to drink right now. Strangely, though, there's always this niggling fear that I'll drink by mistake. Like I'll trip over something and fall into a tub of vodka and be forced to drink it, lol. Totally irrational but it keeps me fearful. I know I'll stop feeling this way when I have substantial sober time.
This is some ride we're on. A lovely Sunday to you all.
I'm feeling slightly better today... Thankfully it's a warm day. Suze, yes it does feel like a coldy virus thing... It should run its course soon.
I had an AV dream last night. It was coming down hard on me so I'd resolved to drink. However, yet again, I talked myself into posting here first and SR came to the rescue. Goes to show how much SR I have in my mind.
Thankfully, in real life, I don't have any desire to drink right now. Strangely, though, there's always this niggling fear that I'll drink by mistake. Like I'll trip over something and fall into a tub of vodka and be forced to drink it, lol. Totally irrational but it keeps me fearful. I know I'll stop feeling this way when I have substantial sober time.
This is some ride we're on. A lovely Sunday to you all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
I hope you feel better today daisybelle7, buttermarsh, and venuscat.
Congratulations fishkiller on picking up all that work. I left the big company I used to work for 16 years ago and went on my own. I already knew how to do the work, the challenge was learning how to manage the business and my time, and learning how to treat customers and how to let them treat me. It would not be for another 16 years that I would stop using alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Congratulations fishkiller on picking up all that work. I left the big company I used to work for 16 years ago and went on my own. I already knew how to do the work, the challenge was learning how to manage the business and my time, and learning how to treat customers and how to let them treat me. It would not be for another 16 years that I would stop using alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Butter I was at a pub one time when I stopped drinking (before I messed up last time), and I asked for a soda water and lime. The bartender put vodka in it but I realised he had. I had a fleeting thought of drinking it but then I told him I didn’t want vodka in it. He insisted that I had asked for a vodka lime and soda. I knew damn well that I hadn’t. He argued with me but ended up getting me another without vodka. That was a bit too close for comfort 
Finishing up day 21 here, and feeling good
Except I have a sore throat. Hopefully it goes away during my sleeping tonight....
Night night everyone x
Finishing up day 21 here, and feeling good
Except I have a sore throat. Hopefully it goes away during my sleeping tonight....
Night night everyone x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Feel better soon, Daisy and BM.
Congrats JR on 80 !
I think I am similar. Looking forward to the triple digits.
My world is OK. Sometimes I think I am adapting OK. Other times, not knowing how long the world will be this way has me freaked out. On multiple levels.
This second, I am OK. Thankful to have this group of fine people on my daily routine.
Well done avoiding the alcohol Willow. It is sometimes genuine accidents that can set us on a bad path. Surprising the bar tender was a jerk.
Lovely picture Cityboy. We have snow drops and crocuses breaking through the soil now. They are always so nice to see and last so briefly. I may take a picture if I venture out .
Stay healthy, happy and sober classmates.
dlb
Congrats JR on 80 !
I think I am similar. Looking forward to the triple digits.
My world is OK. Sometimes I think I am adapting OK. Other times, not knowing how long the world will be this way has me freaked out. On multiple levels.
This second, I am OK. Thankful to have this group of fine people on my daily routine.
Well done avoiding the alcohol Willow. It is sometimes genuine accidents that can set us on a bad path. Surprising the bar tender was a jerk.
Lovely picture Cityboy. We have snow drops and crocuses breaking through the soil now. They are always so nice to see and last so briefly. I may take a picture if I venture out .
Stay healthy, happy and sober classmates.
dlb
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
Hello class. Happy Sunday.
Wait, I need more coffee.
Ok, here we are. That's more like it. Coffee'd and cheese-toasted (as in, I just made some toast from this nice cheesebread loaf from our local bakery, and drizzled it with olive oil). As of yesterday, at least, the bakery and local fish market were still open for business (takeout only here in Massachusetts and a lot more of the country). The big supermarkets are open too, of course, but not much else.
It'll be back to the work desk at 8 a.m. again (22 minutes from when I type this), working till at least 2 p.m., I reckon. If I seriously do that (just because I type it here by no means means it is a sure thing, but if I do), then I should be more or less caught up to where I need to be on a few work deadlines that I have let slip over the past weeks --
Oh, no s--- will likely hit any fans even if I don't follow through, because now people will vaguely attribute additional delays to the coronavirus pandemonium, but jr will know that that is bs in his case, so it is jr who must decide whether to (a) stop the implicit deceit of allowing others to operate under that false assumption, or (b) simply do the work.
"Simply"? If only. Perhaps I should approach this like I did sobriety beginning 2 January 2020: In the case of the booze I was planning a dry January, expanded it to dry February, and now to a "dry century," meaning 100 days (till April 10 I think it works out), and then we'll see.
So for procrastination, maybe I should think of a "productive Sunday morning plus two hours", and then we'll see. If the analogy works, then at 2 p.m. today I will decide it is not so bad to be productive (in fact it is necessary for my long-term mental and physical health), so I should try extending it to Monday, then maybe Tuesday to Friday.... You get the idea.
Or if you don't get the idea, that's ok, this is one of those posts that jr is glad he is writing because he learns something useful to himself as he types. If a dear reader or two is amused or edified (or otherwise affected ... those are not the only options, of course ...) then all the better (or worse, as the case may be).
Three minutes to spare:
Hope y'all are making hay while the sun shines. That reminds me: Thank you, ButterMarsh, the weather is improving, moving along into spring here in New England, sunny today; we've had warmer days, and may have a few snowflakes tomorrow, but what is life without a few flakes to keep it interesting.
Alright, 8 a.m. bye now.
Wait, I need more coffee.
Ok, here we are. That's more like it. Coffee'd and cheese-toasted (as in, I just made some toast from this nice cheesebread loaf from our local bakery, and drizzled it with olive oil). As of yesterday, at least, the bakery and local fish market were still open for business (takeout only here in Massachusetts and a lot more of the country). The big supermarkets are open too, of course, but not much else.
It'll be back to the work desk at 8 a.m. again (22 minutes from when I type this), working till at least 2 p.m., I reckon. If I seriously do that (just because I type it here by no means means it is a sure thing, but if I do), then I should be more or less caught up to where I need to be on a few work deadlines that I have let slip over the past weeks --
Oh, no s--- will likely hit any fans even if I don't follow through, because now people will vaguely attribute additional delays to the coronavirus pandemonium, but jr will know that that is bs in his case, so it is jr who must decide whether to (a) stop the implicit deceit of allowing others to operate under that false assumption, or (b) simply do the work.
"Simply"? If only. Perhaps I should approach this like I did sobriety beginning 2 January 2020: In the case of the booze I was planning a dry January, expanded it to dry February, and now to a "dry century," meaning 100 days (till April 10 I think it works out), and then we'll see.
So for procrastination, maybe I should think of a "productive Sunday morning plus two hours", and then we'll see. If the analogy works, then at 2 p.m. today I will decide it is not so bad to be productive (in fact it is necessary for my long-term mental and physical health), so I should try extending it to Monday, then maybe Tuesday to Friday.... You get the idea.
Or if you don't get the idea, that's ok, this is one of those posts that jr is glad he is writing because he learns something useful to himself as he types. If a dear reader or two is amused or edified (or otherwise affected ... those are not the only options, of course ...) then all the better (or worse, as the case may be).
Three minutes to spare:
Hope y'all are making hay while the sun shines. That reminds me: Thank you, ButterMarsh, the weather is improving, moving along into spring here in New England, sunny today; we've had warmer days, and may have a few snowflakes tomorrow, but what is life without a few flakes to keep it interesting.
Alright, 8 a.m. bye now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,160
Thanks for the support guys! If it wasn't for y'all I would not know what was going on or how to cope and I would have fallen to the AV by now
Butters funny you mention accidental drinking. I've had a recurring feeling of dread I guess you call it, that I will be somewhere and out of habit grab a drink and carry on like it is normal then realize I messed up and I'm back to Day1. Not a dream, actual waking thought. weird
Congrats on the milestones willow and jr!
Butters funny you mention accidental drinking. I've had a recurring feeling of dread I guess you call it, that I will be somewhere and out of habit grab a drink and carry on like it is normal then realize I messed up and I'm back to Day1. Not a dream, actual waking thought. weird
Congrats on the milestones willow and jr!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,498
Thankfully, in real life, I don't have any desire to drink right now. Strangely, though, there's always this niggling fear that I'll drink by mistake. Like I'll trip over something and fall into a tub of vodka and be forced to drink it, lol
Oh, I laughed out loud and it was so good to hear....I guess it has been a while since I laughed. Thank you. So funny.
I used to have those dreams as well....I would dream that the AV got the better of me and I had decided to drink and did so and then came to SR to tell on myself (so, similar to yours). I would wake up in a panic and look for my drunk posts. Then of course I would remember that it was a dream. But wo.
And once in early sobriety I was helping my sister clean up after a family dinner party and I picked up a half glass of wine (someone had left....) and was planning on tipping it and washing it, and I found myself absent-mindedly lifting it up to my mouth.....I didn't even think holy crap this is alcohol, I 'came to' thinking what on earth are you doing drinking something someone else had put their germs all over!!!!
It was a shock. And it only happened once. And thankfully to this day, I have not fallen into a tub of vodka......ha ha ha ha ha.
That is a keeper.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 414
LOL, Suze.
For sure, that fear of accidental drinking is real. For me, it is amplified by the half full bottles of alcohol my husband leaves around the house... I see them and think how close they are... All it would take would be for me to stretch my arm out and....
Back to hell, it would be, though, so I've got to get it together and keep it together.
Congrats Willow on 21... DLB and jr on 80+... Our group is edging closer to the very first triple digits, for sure, which is good to see.
Willow, I hope you wake up feeling well.
For sure, that fear of accidental drinking is real. For me, it is amplified by the half full bottles of alcohol my husband leaves around the house... I see them and think how close they are... All it would take would be for me to stretch my arm out and....
Back to hell, it would be, though, so I've got to get it together and keep it together.
Congrats Willow on 21... DLB and jr on 80+... Our group is edging closer to the very first triple digits, for sure, which is good to see.
Willow, I hope you wake up feeling well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 414
jr, I hope your worky work is coming along swimmingly and that you can start a new work week tomorrow with little to no back log.
FK, do keep up the good work you're doing. I'm sure it's hard but if it adds positively to your sobriety and your life overall, then it's worth it.
dlb, it's good that you're transitioning well to working from home. I am starting to feel that this is one of the positives that may come out of this terrible disease. More people will be able to work remotely and all the good things that come with that.
Y'all are great.
FK, do keep up the good work you're doing. I'm sure it's hard but if it adds positively to your sobriety and your life overall, then it's worth it.
dlb, it's good that you're transitioning well to working from home. I am starting to feel that this is one of the positives that may come out of this terrible disease. More people will be able to work remotely and all the good things that come with that.
Y'all are great.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Morning everyone
Well it’s Monday morning here, although most of you are possibly in Sunday afternoon/evening still, or possibly snoozing Sunday night
The Aussie PM has announced closures of bars, clubs, restaurants, casinos, gyms, indoor sports etc, but the schools remain open at this stage. Interesting times.
I’m trying not to get too anxious about what the future might hold....
Actually I try not to think too much about it, but rather focus on the present moment.
I really need to re-read some of my books on meditation and centre-ing (how do you spell that word?) and grounding etc anyway, so now it a good time to get myself back to “now”.
Well it’s Monday morning here, although most of you are possibly in Sunday afternoon/evening still, or possibly snoozing Sunday night
The Aussie PM has announced closures of bars, clubs, restaurants, casinos, gyms, indoor sports etc, but the schools remain open at this stage. Interesting times.
I’m trying not to get too anxious about what the future might hold....
Actually I try not to think too much about it, but rather focus on the present moment.
I really need to re-read some of my books on meditation and centre-ing (how do you spell that word?) and grounding etc anyway, so now it a good time to get myself back to “now”.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,498
Schools in Vic are closing love....on Tuesday. xx ❤️
And centering.
And I feel the exact same way....this is the time to get back to my true basics.
And I and many of us will have the quiet we have longed for. xxx
And centering.
And I feel the exact same way....this is the time to get back to my true basics.
And I and many of us will have the quiet we have longed for. xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
AV is certainly a pest FK. Good job.
I was driving out the highway to the nursery to get some onion bulbs today and started getting an uneasy feeling. Couldn't figure it out for a minute, but realized it was because that was the same trip as going to my "favorite" store to stock back up on beer. (After all, I had 4 or 5 stores to spread out the beer purchases). This particular store took about 10 minutes to drive out to. I would take a beer along if I had one left over from the day before and drink another on the way back to the house. That was my first trip on that road since I quit drinking. Good riddance.
Congrats on Day 80 jr and hello to everyone. Hope the weekend went well for you all.
I was driving out the highway to the nursery to get some onion bulbs today and started getting an uneasy feeling. Couldn't figure it out for a minute, but realized it was because that was the same trip as going to my "favorite" store to stock back up on beer. (After all, I had 4 or 5 stores to spread out the beer purchases). This particular store took about 10 minutes to drive out to. I would take a beer along if I had one left over from the day before and drink another on the way back to the house. That was my first trip on that road since I quit drinking. Good riddance.
Congrats on Day 80 jr and hello to everyone. Hope the weekend went well for you all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
Willow. I am with you trying to focus on today and not worry too much about what the future holds in the coming weeks/months. We closed restaurants, etc, etc in MI last week and the list of closed businesses continues to expand now that the state has 1000+ confirmed cases.
We seem to follow lock step with you in Ohio Suze. I just need to watch your Governor's new conference one day to know what is in store to MI the next.
We seem to follow lock step with you in Ohio Suze. I just need to watch your Governor's new conference one day to know what is in store to MI the next.
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