venuscat

And lean on us more love.....I was lying in bed this morning thinking.....about my whole life really....and about how sensitive I have always been, since I was a little girl. But my brother died when I was two and it changed things in my house....I didn't know why, but I was nervous all of the time.

Now, I still have panic attacks sometimes....they are getting better (as in way less and easier to break free from)....I am learning....I need to talk about my feelings, even if they are not happy happy joy joy, and I need to truly look after ME.

LIke this....up a little early and straight to SR to read and talk....I need you guys. I was upset....had a fight with a friend yesterday.....a bad one....actually pretty much threw him out of my house and I have never done that before in my life. He was sitting in my kitchen defending racism.....err......no words. Obviously not meaning to start a conversation around that.....suffice to say I got very upset.

But here I am chatting away and I know you will read this dear Steely and that makes my feel better already. We care about each other.

K.....moosh over, lots to do, it isn't early anymore. s xxxx ❤️

Steely

Thank you so much Venus. Good on you for chucking your friend out. Silence is consent, and sometimes we simply can't stay silent. Well done.

Thank you as well, Dee. The oxygen analogy fits to a tee, I've been feeling suffocated for a really long time. Sucked dry. My daughter is very needy and at the moment feel in need myself. My decision is firm. I'm taking a break, even though painful. The mother/daughter dynamic is not working....the mother bit's not, that's for sure. She is an adult woman, and I cannnot allow for it to remain as if she were child result of my own guilt. She has much support from mental health service professionals, and needs to grow. I won't be around forever. I feel very sad, as she is a good kid, but has sucked me dry, and I've allowed it to happen. Today I am going to do things for me. Seeing quit smoking counsellor to begin. Friday I'm going to try go to yoga. On my own.

Thank you both for your support.

Wanted to say, and in keeping with the exclusion of girls from traditionally male occupations. My introduction to feminism occurred in kindergarten. I didn't understand it as such, but it really pissed me off. Confused me. Remember the percussion band at school. I so wanted to play the drums, but was handed a Triangle. Ting! Girls weren't permitted to play drums back then, it really did make me sad.

Well, this child feminist has to prepare for quit smoking counsellor and must away. I am so very grateful to you all, and I promise I won't turn this Class into psych central. There are things too, that I don't want to discuss publically. I'm going to be ok.

And love you all.

venuscat

I remember that too....but gosh I loved that triangle. s ❤️

Steely

I liked it Venus, I just didn't like being excluded from the drums. If I recall, the boys didn't play triangle at all.

Gawd, what's the G.O.?

venuscat

I don't know what G.O. means.

I did 5 thousand chores today including making dinner early (and doing the dishes )....now I must go wash my hair.

Hope you wonderful Aussies have a great day.

Um.....we are missing Red. Although I may be confused re what thread she is posting in at the moment, but I have not seen her.

❤️

Steely

It just means what's the 'go'?, Venus. But when you ask what's the 'go', you spell it it out like, "what's the G.O.? Hope this makes sense. Should ask myself the same question. I think I'm finding some answers.. Y'all have helped so much.

I was smiling to myself on the bus this morning Venus, thinking about the percussion band. I thought there's probably some sweet little boy, maybe even a sumo wrestler boy who yearned to play the triangle but was denied. It all became clear again.

It's not so much about who was/is denied what, but how the division of labour/function in the workplace, the home, the schoolyard has existed. The apportioning of roles to gender. Things have changed a lot, but still more to go. I'm glad I'm a woman, even though hard. Love you Venus. ❤️

We should all play the triangle. We should all play the drums. What a combo!

Oh yeah. I was an hour late for my appointment with quit smoking counsellor. Had it chalked in my diary and all. My head that messy. Rescheduled for tomorrow.

So, in the meantime bought myself a really great pair of trackies, and a pale pink jumper for winter. It felt good to be out on my own with time to reflect just upon myself. Spoke with my daughter's case manager and he is fully onside with my decision to detach. It is very painful, but I know it is for the best for the both of us. I feel sure that resolution will be found. I love her very much.

Slowly, slowly, taskforce.

venuscat

I bet the jumper is lovely And you can never have too many trackies. s

Nick plays the drums and guitar and is in a metal band, but he also makes jewellery. (Aussie spelling....it's jewelry here)....I love that contrast. Very strong and manly yet very gentle and creative.

I bet Guy Sebastian plays the triangle.
Doubt there is a musical instrument he couldn't charm.

I am so proud of you for looking after you dear Steely....really. s ❤️

Zura

Good Morning All,

Venus - That is very exciting that you will soon be able to get your garden going again. Im dreading it getting colder here but after hearing and seeing how cold it is where you are Im hoping I have better perspective on "cold" this year

Steely - I am very sorry to hear of your struggles. Im very glad that you are looking after yourself though. Detaching in circumstances such as these is exceedingly difficult as it usually comes with "Mum Guilt", even when we know we are doing the right thing by taking time to care for ourselves. You need some care and support too, you know you have ours

Bob, Red, Pouncer & Sushi - Hope you are all doing ok, and Hi too Dee

Steely

Venus, I cracked up over your Guy Sebastian comment. Really funny. Also appreciated your spelling of jewellery. I know you really like jewellery, handy to have Nick I still use gaol, not jail. I wonder sometimes whether people think I'm talking about a goal as in soccer. I like to hold these old spellings. I think they are very colourful.

Thanks as well Zura.. I think I'm experiencing some weird separation/attachment anxiety. Think I've had it for years and can connect it to my drinking. I still see my daughter as the child I must protect, but she is no longer a child. And nor am I.

I don't go to AA but know a tiny bit about it. Somewhere in its readings it says, "the scales shall fall from your eyes". It seems this is what is occurring. Didn't think it would be this hard though.

I really look forward to sharing our garden stories. This includes you bob, whom I hope haven't deterred with all my woman stuff.

Hope you are doing ok Red. You too Pouncer, and Sushiroll. I think Vinnie is still around. I hope so.

My love to all, and thank you so.

venuscat

Good morning magnificent Aussie women s xx

We are indeed missing a few people. I hope your posts ring some bells and they come and chat. xx ❤️

bobdrop

Hey. Still here. Hit 8 weeks yesterday. Didn't feel deterred. Just letting you ladies have the floor for a while.

venuscat

Awesome stuff dear Bob....and I wasn't thinking that you were missing. s xxxxxxxx ❤️

venuscat

(Poor Bob.....lots of Aussie/NZ chics to deal with on this thread....
Thank God for Dee.....the Aussie voice of reason. )

Zura

Venus - I have uploaded some pics to my profile

venuscat

Oooooo off to look. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dee74

Congrats on 8 weeks Bob

D

Steely

And while I'm at it have to say that in each and everyone of my previous (recent) posts I have not commented on your avatar bob. I meant to and then went psycho and forgot. I came back from the edge bob, my anxiety off the richter. Onwards we push.

As the only American (I think) here, you had to make a statement. First time the Americans have been outnumbered I'd guess. It worked well. I definitely love alligators, just as I love our crocs. They are so primal it's heartwarming.

The mighty alligator stands with you bob. Do you come from a part of America where there are swamps and alligators? And what does the F on the sweatshirt mean?

Congratulations on 8 weeks bob.

Never smile at a crocodile. It'll maul you to def if you go near alcohol. Ok gone psycho again. I'll be back. .

venuscat

I think Sushiroll is American, and Red is back today.....yayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!

Zura

Morning All,

Steely - It is a great avatar isnt....for some reason i thought the F stood for Florida....hmmmm now im curioous too

Venus - Morning lovely :-) Its mid morning here and i have done nothing!! We are having a lazy pj movie day today...i MAY make zucchini fritters today with that MASSIVE zuc i posted a pic of yesterday.....actually i think take out is in order

Bob - Come on back soon....i miss you posts

Hope everyone else comes back soon too....ive been thinking about joining in some other threads....any recommendations?

venuscat

I meant to say it is the biggest zucchini I have ever seen.....just wow. s ❤️

threads.....sure.....

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-476-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 476)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ch-2020-a.html (Horses for Courses - Weekender 28 February- 02 March 2020)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=year (One Year and Under Club Part 64)

s xx