Class of January 2020 PART 4
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
Good morning/afternoon/evening/night, class.
Sipping my Sidney Sider bright and early this morning. OK not so bright, it is still dark out at 6 a.m. here in New England.
If I do this right, a photo will appear here:
[IMG] https://postimg.cc/JHm3LYqP [/IMG]
[Edit: Well, I tried, No pic. But follow the link and you'll see it.]
Full work day downtown today (first half), then at home (second half).
It's too early in my sobriety to make a generalization, but so far, at least, I've been ok abstaining while in the company of friends who are drinking at bars, restaurants, dinner parties. I even mix the drinks as I used to do, and mix my own mocktail at the same time; I am just thinking of myself as the guy who used to make one of those drinks for himself, but doesn't do that any more.
As I say, it's early days (Day 49), but that is how it has gone so far.
My brother, who lives in Florida so I only see him once or twice a year for a day or two, generally speaking, told me last week he quit smoking cigarettes about two weeks ago, cold turkey, after 40-something years of smoking (most recently about a pack-plus per day). He didn't say it was easy, but he said it was final. We shall see (he has "quit' before).
My bro mentioned that he has noticed that certain occasions seem to "call for" a cigarette (for example, waking up, having coffee, after a meal, driving his car, drinking a beer (not a rare occurrence for him), watching TV).
My point is, when speaking of habitual behaviors, the cues, or triggers, to indulge are legion. We can take steps to avoid some cues (such as, for me, when I was first breaking my attraction to meth, I avoided driving a certain route towards downtown so that I did not pass the intersection leading to the home of my supplier). With quitting alcohol, many of us have talked about getting the entire supply out of the house, and avoiding certain situations or people with whom we strongly associate the drinking behavior. Each of us is different and needs to be aware of the incessant exposure to potential substance-abuse triggers, and develop strategies to neutralize the triggers so we don't succumb.
For me, developing an awareness of the ubiquity of the triggers is helpful. For example, ethanol pushers, just like nicotine pushers, hire legions of social psychologists to study and capitalize on brainwashing techniques. They lie and say their billboards, for example, are intended to build brand loyalty for their specific brand, when in fact the constant images of beautiful people striking elegant poses with artfully rendered leaded-glass tumblers filled with their product are designed to make you (us) associate elegance with drinking, and further, just the sight of the billboard (or print ad, or TV ad) is designed to make you (us) crave the depicted substance, like Pavlov's dogs.
So bow-wow folks.
Here is a link I just found on the google that, one hopes, can help remind us, and perhaps arm us, against the intentionally pernicious effects of advertising. It is 7 minutes and 39 seconds long, so if you are interested, be prepared to give your viewing its due time:
<**https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvtJ76Gxyxk>
[Edit: Another case of jr's technological ineptitude showing its full glory. So again, if you copy and paste the URL u will b illuminated.]
In a hurry? Here is just one quote from the video, by a Lehman Brothers banker in (apparently) the mid-20th century, about the future of capitalism in a (first) world of plenty. Once the basics of survival are taken care of, how are the bankers supposed to keep getting richer? Here what one American visionary said:
"We must shift America from a needs to a desires culture. People must be trained to desire, to want things even before the old has been entirely consumed. We must shape a new mentality in America. Man's desires must overshadow his needs."
Like the man said, "Bow-wow":
Bow to the altar of consumerism.
Wow, they really do get you coming and going.
Sipping my Sidney Sider bright and early this morning. OK not so bright, it is still dark out at 6 a.m. here in New England.
If I do this right, a photo will appear here:
[IMG] https://postimg.cc/JHm3LYqP [/IMG]
[Edit: Well, I tried, No pic. But follow the link and you'll see it.]
Full work day downtown today (first half), then at home (second half).
It's too early in my sobriety to make a generalization, but so far, at least, I've been ok abstaining while in the company of friends who are drinking at bars, restaurants, dinner parties. I even mix the drinks as I used to do, and mix my own mocktail at the same time; I am just thinking of myself as the guy who used to make one of those drinks for himself, but doesn't do that any more.
As I say, it's early days (Day 49), but that is how it has gone so far.
My brother, who lives in Florida so I only see him once or twice a year for a day or two, generally speaking, told me last week he quit smoking cigarettes about two weeks ago, cold turkey, after 40-something years of smoking (most recently about a pack-plus per day). He didn't say it was easy, but he said it was final. We shall see (he has "quit' before).
My bro mentioned that he has noticed that certain occasions seem to "call for" a cigarette (for example, waking up, having coffee, after a meal, driving his car, drinking a beer (not a rare occurrence for him), watching TV).
My point is, when speaking of habitual behaviors, the cues, or triggers, to indulge are legion. We can take steps to avoid some cues (such as, for me, when I was first breaking my attraction to meth, I avoided driving a certain route towards downtown so that I did not pass the intersection leading to the home of my supplier). With quitting alcohol, many of us have talked about getting the entire supply out of the house, and avoiding certain situations or people with whom we strongly associate the drinking behavior. Each of us is different and needs to be aware of the incessant exposure to potential substance-abuse triggers, and develop strategies to neutralize the triggers so we don't succumb.
For me, developing an awareness of the ubiquity of the triggers is helpful. For example, ethanol pushers, just like nicotine pushers, hire legions of social psychologists to study and capitalize on brainwashing techniques. They lie and say their billboards, for example, are intended to build brand loyalty for their specific brand, when in fact the constant images of beautiful people striking elegant poses with artfully rendered leaded-glass tumblers filled with their product are designed to make you (us) associate elegance with drinking, and further, just the sight of the billboard (or print ad, or TV ad) is designed to make you (us) crave the depicted substance, like Pavlov's dogs.
So bow-wow folks.
Here is a link I just found on the google that, one hopes, can help remind us, and perhaps arm us, against the intentionally pernicious effects of advertising. It is 7 minutes and 39 seconds long, so if you are interested, be prepared to give your viewing its due time:
<**https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvtJ76Gxyxk>
[Edit: Another case of jr's technological ineptitude showing its full glory. So again, if you copy and paste the URL u will b illuminated.]
In a hurry? Here is just one quote from the video, by a Lehman Brothers banker in (apparently) the mid-20th century, about the future of capitalism in a (first) world of plenty. Once the basics of survival are taken care of, how are the bankers supposed to keep getting richer? Here what one American visionary said:
"We must shift America from a needs to a desires culture. People must be trained to desire, to want things even before the old has been entirely consumed. We must shape a new mentality in America. Man's desires must overshadow his needs."
Like the man said, "Bow-wow":
Bow to the altar of consumerism.
Wow, they really do get you coming and going.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,160
Good morning class!
Woke up feeling less than my best this morning. I don't really mind though, It is a reminder of how I felt every morning when I was drinking.
I love music and it really doesn't trigger me to drink thankfully.
My main trigger, working in my shop, has pretty much all but subsided. At least for now.
I think my next test will be those soon to come warm spring days coming home from a day on the water but I got a plan for that.
My book bundle came in yesterday so I will have some reading to do in the evenings.
I got
This Naked Mind
The Unexpected Joys of Sobriety
The Sober Diaries
The Easy Way to Control Alcohol
Hoping to add to my sober arsenal
Woke up feeling less than my best this morning. I don't really mind though, It is a reminder of how I felt every morning when I was drinking.
I love music and it really doesn't trigger me to drink thankfully.
My main trigger, working in my shop, has pretty much all but subsided. At least for now.
I think my next test will be those soon to come warm spring days coming home from a day on the water but I got a plan for that.
My book bundle came in yesterday so I will have some reading to do in the evenings.
I got
This Naked Mind
The Unexpected Joys of Sobriety
The Sober Diaries
The Easy Way to Control Alcohol
Hoping to add to my sober arsenal
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Glad you didn't loose your post this morning jr. When I went back to school in the late 80s, in one of my classes they talked about the use of psychology
in commercials. Its kind of fascinating but then I am extremely resentful of being manipulated, which is the whole thing about commercials, to manipulate you into buying their product.
Having lived in Florida nearly all of my life, I've seen the progression of Disney World. When I was in Jr. High, you could bum a $20 off your parents and take a date to Disney on a bus. Now, I truly believe that they have a team of professionals whose only job is to figure out how to get as much money off people as possible. I hear of families going to Disney and spending thousands of dollars. My nephew works there and can get us discounts, but to my wife a $150 discount is just a green light for making reservations at a fine dining resort restaurant while there that is going to cost $250.
My favorite thing at Disney in recent years has been the Backyard BBQ at which there is an open wine and beer bar. Won't be going back to that.
In Florida, every other car has a "Salt Life" sticker on it. Last year they came out with Salt Life Beer. Talk about a marketing strategy.
in commercials. Its kind of fascinating but then I am extremely resentful of being manipulated, which is the whole thing about commercials, to manipulate you into buying their product.
Having lived in Florida nearly all of my life, I've seen the progression of Disney World. When I was in Jr. High, you could bum a $20 off your parents and take a date to Disney on a bus. Now, I truly believe that they have a team of professionals whose only job is to figure out how to get as much money off people as possible. I hear of families going to Disney and spending thousands of dollars. My nephew works there and can get us discounts, but to my wife a $150 discount is just a green light for making reservations at a fine dining resort restaurant while there that is going to cost $250.
My favorite thing at Disney in recent years has been the Backyard BBQ at which there is an open wine and beer bar. Won't be going back to that.
In Florida, every other car has a "Salt Life" sticker on it. Last year they came out with Salt Life Beer. Talk about a marketing strategy.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,506
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Not sure if its desensitisation or just simply acceptance for me - but I can go anywhere and do anything with anyone now and not want to drink or miss it.
Its a great freedom
Its a great freedom
And I feel the same way. ❤️
and paste the link in it. Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
Posts: 702
jr, I loved your post. You’re absolutely right. Thank you for sharing.
Cityboy, interesting parallel with DW. I’ve been several times, but only one time with our kids, and it was ridiculously overpriced. I have a few of Disney fanatic friends, and I just don’t understand it. It’s not what it used to be, that’s for sure.
jr’s post reminded me of something I learned a few years back. I watched the documentary called Fed Up. For us in the US... remember those “cheese, glorious cheese” commercials from the 80s? I can’t remember the details, but American dairy farmers had an excess of dairy skimmings that they didn’t know what to do with. The USDA suggested they turn it into cheese and then market that cheese is healthy to the US public. I’m over simplifying what really happened, but all of us Americans were manipulated into thinking that cheese was the new black, and we should gobble it all up, when it was really leftover crap that had been skimmed off of excess supplies of milk. Anyway, it’s a very interesting documentary about how Americans have been influenced to eat crappy food and how that has affected our health. I might watch it again today.
I’ve been feeling pretty depressed lately. I don’t know if it’s post-op blues or what. Hoping I’ll get some good news from my surgeon on Monday.
Have a great day all!
Cityboy, interesting parallel with DW. I’ve been several times, but only one time with our kids, and it was ridiculously overpriced. I have a few of Disney fanatic friends, and I just don’t understand it. It’s not what it used to be, that’s for sure.
jr’s post reminded me of something I learned a few years back. I watched the documentary called Fed Up. For us in the US... remember those “cheese, glorious cheese” commercials from the 80s? I can’t remember the details, but American dairy farmers had an excess of dairy skimmings that they didn’t know what to do with. The USDA suggested they turn it into cheese and then market that cheese is healthy to the US public. I’m over simplifying what really happened, but all of us Americans were manipulated into thinking that cheese was the new black, and we should gobble it all up, when it was really leftover crap that had been skimmed off of excess supplies of milk. Anyway, it’s a very interesting documentary about how Americans have been influenced to eat crappy food and how that has affected our health. I might watch it again today.
I’ve been feeling pretty depressed lately. I don’t know if it’s post-op blues or what. Hoping I’ll get some good news from my surgeon on Monday.
Have a great day all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,506
You've had a lot going on love....I know for me, sometimes after I have gotten through all the 'things'....helping your daughter to deal with the eating disorder, then your pup's surgeries and your foot surgery, and all of this in early sobriety. Which you are rocking by the way.
Anyway, sometimes after so much to deal with, I crash a little. And it's OK.
A day of nurturing DaisyBelle is what you might need.
Foot up, pup by your side and us and books and TV.
s
I hope your doctor calls you soon and the news is good. s xx
Anyway, sometimes after so much to deal with, I crash a little. And it's OK.
A day of nurturing DaisyBelle is what you might need.
Foot up, pup by your side and us and books and TV.
sI hope your doctor calls you soon and the news is good.
s xx
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,731
Just a small update from me. Last weekend we visited my partner's family, and as we had informed them that we're not drinking, everything went well. But when we got back, we got some news that has presented me with a huge dilemma. My partner, who moved here last year to be with me, just learned that there might not be a job for her here next year. There are not many jobs in her field around here, but we had hoped there would be an opening for her so that she could stay here. Now it looks like she has move back to her old place and her old job, more than seven hours from here. Next year though, there are several positions available for her here.
I so want to go with her! I hate my job, and I could easily get a job there. I have no friends here, but she has a thriving social life there with a lot of great people. My two oldest kids will be going away for school next year, so the only thing keeping me here is my youngest daughter. How can a mother leave her child, even if it is for less than a year?
Basically, I have to choose between my child and the love of my life. It's a nobrainer, really. Any mother would choose her child, right? But what would my life look like then? I would see my partner only once a month, and be completely alone every other week. And I'm terrified that I would slip right back into old patterns and really ruin my life. So, I discussed the situation with my ex yesterday, and he understands how difficult this is for me and is willing to do the best he can to make this as easy as possible for me. I'm choosing the life that is best for ME. That's a first... Of course I'm going to miss my daughter immensely, but I'll come visit as often as I can and fly her out often. I can't help thinking that I'm saving my life by doing this. It's only nine months, we'll survive. This way I'll be a better mother for her.
Sorry for the long rant. Good to be back.
I so want to go with her! I hate my job, and I could easily get a job there. I have no friends here, but she has a thriving social life there with a lot of great people. My two oldest kids will be going away for school next year, so the only thing keeping me here is my youngest daughter. How can a mother leave her child, even if it is for less than a year?
Basically, I have to choose between my child and the love of my life. It's a nobrainer, really. Any mother would choose her child, right? But what would my life look like then? I would see my partner only once a month, and be completely alone every other week. And I'm terrified that I would slip right back into old patterns and really ruin my life. So, I discussed the situation with my ex yesterday, and he understands how difficult this is for me and is willing to do the best he can to make this as easy as possible for me. I'm choosing the life that is best for ME. That's a first... Of course I'm going to miss my daughter immensely, but I'll come visit as often as I can and fly her out often. I can't help thinking that I'm saving my life by doing this. It's only nine months, we'll survive. This way I'll be a better mother for her.
Sorry for the long rant. Good to be back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,506
Not a rant at all. And hello darling Lixie, so happy to see you. s
I am not a mother, but I believe that you are doing the very best thing here for all of you. s
You will be happy love...and you will thrive, and you will share all of that beautiful energy with your daughter when you see her....and I bet it will be wonderful....you will get to spend some weekends together....just the two of you. You can even do little trips together....mum and daughter things that will stay in your hearts forever.
I am excited for you love. ❤️
sI am not a mother, but I believe that you are doing the very best thing here for all of you.
s You will be happy love...and you will thrive, and you will share all of that beautiful energy with your daughter when you see her....and I bet it will be wonderful....you will get to spend some weekends together....just the two of you. You can even do little trips together....mum and daughter things that will stay in your hearts forever.
I am excited for you love. ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
Posts: 702
Thank you, Suze. You always have the right words.
Lixie, you are making the best decision for your family. You can’t be a good mother if you aren’t taking care of yourself - the airplane analogy of putting your oxygen mask on first. I’m happy for you! ❤️
Lixie, you are making the best decision for your family. You can’t be a good mother if you aren’t taking care of yourself - the airplane analogy of putting your oxygen mask on first. I’m happy for you! ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Good day everyone.
here at the hospital waiting for my next test. I’ve had a lot of medical visits lately and last week my mammo came back abnormal so more tests today. I’m not really worried but the anticipation of tests kills me. I would not be doing this if I was still drinking. I think anxiety over not keeping up on my health checks was a factor that triggered me to drink.
I don’t even want to drink today... no desire. Instead I’m obsessing over the fried chicken reward I’ll be consuming in a couple hours! I’m serious, chicken makes me happy lol
Love the posts about the Psychology behind advertising. Psych is my background. There is no doubt big business is harnessing psychological concepts to steer us in their preferred direction. I’m sure if we googled subliminal messaging in advertising we’d find some interesting stuff.
Regarding desensitization, I believe that is going on everyday. Every time we do something sober that used to involve alcohol, we are being desensitized.
hope everyone is having a good day!
here at the hospital waiting for my next test. I’ve had a lot of medical visits lately and last week my mammo came back abnormal so more tests today. I’m not really worried but the anticipation of tests kills me. I would not be doing this if I was still drinking. I think anxiety over not keeping up on my health checks was a factor that triggered me to drink.
I don’t even want to drink today... no desire. Instead I’m obsessing over the fried chicken reward I’ll be consuming in a couple hours! I’m serious, chicken makes me happy lol
Love the posts about the Psychology behind advertising. Psych is my background. There is no doubt big business is harnessing psychological concepts to steer us in their preferred direction. I’m sure if we googled subliminal messaging in advertising we’d find some interesting stuff.
Regarding desensitization, I believe that is going on everyday. Every time we do something sober that used to involve alcohol, we are being desensitized.
hope everyone is having a good day!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,506
I am a moron who did almost 4 years of school with a Psych major as part of my degree, and did not finish. Just saying cos it's a huge passion for me and I hear you. s
I am sending love ad prayers for good results here for you dear Sober. s
And chicken makes me happy too....it is my favourite food by far. Now I want fried chicken.
sI am sending love ad prayers for good results here for you dear Sober.
sAnd chicken makes me happy too....it is my favourite food by far. Now I want fried chicken.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
To me, fried chicken and fried fish are two of life's pleasures. Talking good stuff. Not some old greezy chicken or frozen generic fish sticks. Fried turkey at Thanksgiving and Christmas are treats also, more so than the desserts.
Really hope your tests go well Sober 45.
Lixie, sounds like a stressful decision to make, and one in which you almost have to follow your heart. Have you talked it over with your daughter and squared it with her?
Daisybelle7, hope your foot is healing nicely. Yes, venuscat seems to always have just the right thing to say that is positive and uplifting, a gift that evades me. I remember that when I was put under to have my wisdom teeth pulled, I was terribly depressed for days afterward, I think from the gas they put me under with. Wonder if that is still having an effect on you. I remember that with the American cheese. My grandparents would get a huge block of that stuff because they were in some program with Farm Bureau.
Really hope your tests go well Sober 45.
Lixie, sounds like a stressful decision to make, and one in which you almost have to follow your heart. Have you talked it over with your daughter and squared it with her?
Daisybelle7, hope your foot is healing nicely. Yes, venuscat seems to always have just the right thing to say that is positive and uplifting, a gift that evades me. I remember that when I was put under to have my wisdom teeth pulled, I was terribly depressed for days afterward, I think from the gas they put me under with. Wonder if that is still having an effect on you. I remember that with the American cheese. My grandparents would get a huge block of that stuff because they were in some program with Farm Bureau.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,506
I think if my mum and dad could hear that lovely compliment Cityboy they would say: well, she has certainly had enough practice. The girl hasn't stopped talking for five minutes in her life. 
My husband says I talk in my sleep as well. He he.
My husband says I talk in my sleep as well. He he.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Fishkiller, I wonder if the pollen is what's getting to you. It has given me a fit for the last month but clearing now. It would seem the proper time line for it to come in up there 30 days after here.
Working in the yard and doing house chores for me are probably like your shop trigger. It has gone the way of other triggers so far. Have thought some about the after fishing beer drinking bonanzas that are typical for my spring trips. Don't have any plan in place, but just can't see it happening. The thought of drinking beer seems repulsing. A couple of my friends that quit before bring O'douls, but we've talked about that here before. Maybe I'll just bring a bunch of flavored seltzer waters (not hard seltzer) and won't worry about it.
Working in the yard and doing house chores for me are probably like your shop trigger. It has gone the way of other triggers so far. Have thought some about the after fishing beer drinking bonanzas that are typical for my spring trips. Don't have any plan in place, but just can't see it happening. The thought of drinking beer seems repulsing. A couple of my friends that quit before bring O'douls, but we've talked about that here before. Maybe I'll just bring a bunch of flavored seltzer waters (not hard seltzer) and won't worry about it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
Posts: 702
Sober45, thinking of you! I had a breast biopsy 1.5 years ago. Those tests and the results are certainly anxiety provoking. We’re all here for you. Your fried chicken reward is a good one!
Cityboy, excellent point about the anesthesia. I bet you’re right. I was under for an hour, so it was a decent amount. Plus I was given 2 benzos to relax me, antibiotics, pain killers, eating too much sugar.... lol, ok, this made me laugh because it’s obvious why I’m depressed now. Oh, and the flavored seltzer waters are my choice for parties. I haven’t been to any this time around, but when I’ve been sober in the past, they were my go to.
Congratulations on 30 days, ButterMarsh! I’m happy for you!
I’ve been binge watching Dexter for the last two days. It’s a nice distraction.
Cityboy, excellent point about the anesthesia. I bet you’re right. I was under for an hour, so it was a decent amount. Plus I was given 2 benzos to relax me, antibiotics, pain killers, eating too much sugar.... lol, ok, this made me laugh because it’s obvious why I’m depressed now. Oh, and the flavored seltzer waters are my choice for parties. I haven’t been to any this time around, but when I’ve been sober in the past, they were my go to.
Congratulations on 30 days, ButterMarsh! I’m happy for you!
I’ve been binge watching Dexter for the last two days. It’s a nice distraction.
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