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Class of January 2020 PART 4

Old 02-17-2020, 04:32 PM
  # 101 (permalink)  
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Hello all.

I've been away a few days and didn't get to posting as I rarely had a sit-down moment but I did check in once or twice a day. I actually tried to quickly post a photo or two from my 3-day trip to New York City but in the short windows of time I had I must have been skipping a step so I had to give up for the moment, several moments.

And now, dinner being served at home if 3 minutes or less (sounds like), so just a quick howdy-do to all.

I had a great trip to NYC, did lots of socializing where drinking was part of the scene but in these 47 days of sobriety that has not bothered me too much (so far). I am appreciating my alternatives to the booze, and absolutely appreciating the alternatives to hangovers. I was up and out wandering the streets of lower Manhattan before 7 a.m. Saturday and Sunday, great observation and photo ops that I never would have had before.

Dinner ready, I'll catch up w/ y'all l8r.
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Old 02-17-2020, 05:35 PM
  # 102 (permalink)  
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welcome back jr

D
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Old 02-17-2020, 06:47 PM
  # 103 (permalink)  
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Glad you had a good trip jr. Despite my SR name I've never been to The City.

Was thinking about what buttermarsh said. All the reading I've done and testimony I've heard. It's always "wish I could just drink one glass of wine, or whatever, like a normal person. Never thought of it like, why do I even want to drink a glass of wine with dinner? or two beers after work?
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Old 02-18-2020, 03:06 AM
  # 104 (permalink)  
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Hi classmates

Doing well. Still sober. Happy to not be waking up with regret, a hangover and still on the journey with you all.

My previous relapse was my attempt at drinking wine "like a normal person". It worked for a while but after 6 month I was the same as before. Maybe worse. A year later I came back on here and joined you guys.

In my case, there isn't a normal moderate way to drink. Just unhappiness and the same consequences.

That said, I am happier and feel achievement in this journey. It is bearing fruit, almost, and I am thankful to have all of you to check in with each day

Have a safe, sober and healthy day all

dlb.
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Old 02-18-2020, 03:08 AM
  # 105 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cityboy View Post
Glad you had a good trip jr. Despite my SR name I've never been to The City.

Was thinking about what buttermarsh said. All the reading I've done and testimony I've heard. It's always "wish I could just drink one glass of wine, or whatever, like a normal person. Never thought of it like, why do I even want to drink a glass of wine with dinner? or two beers after work?
Exactly, CB. Why should we want that? It really is just a nasty habit we are conditioned into early in life. From a young age, we see our elders do it.. Then we get to 18 years and it becomes OK to do... Then we start to drink on the weekend to 'unwind', drink with dinner, at parties... Soon we're buying alcohol to have at home, then we're drinking everyday to counter boredom and before we know it, we're stuck. The beverage itself is highly addictive yet our society largely treats it like it's acceptable.

I realise that the majority of human beings are not alcoholics. However, even among non-alcoholics, a big number drink excessively at one or more points in their lives. I think we're missing something as the human race....

Well, I'm still pondering this line of thought and maybe someone else could throw some more light on it...?
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Old 02-18-2020, 03:17 AM
  # 106 (permalink)  
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For example the whole 'drink to unwind' thing... What are you unwinding from? Why do you feel the need to mess with your body and mind in order to ' unwind'?

My husband recently asked me why I had overindulged one evening. Defensively, and without thinking, I said it was because drinking made me happy. So he said that meant I was otherwise unhappy in/with my life. Which of course I was, but just hadn't acknowledged. I just thought everyone drank to be happy! How sad...
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Old 02-18-2020, 03:58 AM
  # 107 (permalink)  
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Morning Class

Good conversation today!
I too never thought that needing a drink to unwind was an issue. I grew up around alcohol and it hust seemed normal.
My Mom does not drink and my Dad only drinks occasionally but when he does it was game on.
Anytime there was an event or celebration there was,is always heavy drinking so I thought that's the way its done.
By the time I was old enough to see other ways I was already hooked.
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Old 02-18-2020, 06:28 AM
  # 108 (permalink)  
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Good day class,

27 days old today, very hard weekend with two Birthday parties where drink was flowing like a brewery.

So like JR said above got through it but for me there was a hard couple of hours where cravings were hitting hard but got through it and was a taxi service for people which i actually enjoyed as when drinking i was struggling to drive any distance sober due to anxiety.

Cant say i enjoyed being near people with a good drink in them, spent a lot of time thinking about my behaviour over the years looking at their behaviour.

Health Wise got letter saying all good regarding neurology issues to keep monitoring symptoms and return if they get worse and to cut back on alcohol hmm lol.

have a great day everyone or get through it if your having a rubbish one.
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Old 02-18-2020, 07:43 AM
  # 109 (permalink)  
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I never drank out of boredom.
And I never once thought I will just have one glass.
Before I had my first drink of the day (5-6pm, whenever I got home), I had planned the night out completely including walking around the corner to get dinner and turning off my phone (to avoid those woopses).

It was party party every single night. And I knew I was going to be in hell the next day. But I told myself I didn't care....it was worth it. It was awesome. Booze, good food and a movie.

And then I needed more alcohol to get the happy and I was falling into the abyss. The night I drank 2 litres of chardonnay only to wake up to my cat being gravely ill was my greatest shame. Venus survived and got better, and I never did that again.

That was January 2013.
I tapered off for a few days because I was really scared of seizures, and then I came (back) here and joined the Feb'13 class thread.

I did relapse for a few months in 2014, and it was horrendous. I thought I was going to die.

Not really sure why I wanted to say this this morning....

Drinking to unwind is not an issue (on occasion) for normal drinkers. But I am not one of those people. I know this as clearly as I know my name. And I think that having accepted this was really good for me.... s xx
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Old 02-18-2020, 08:07 AM
  # 110 (permalink)  
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I think itís difficult for us to understand drinking from a different viewpoint because we are addicts. Every single time I drank, I was drinking to get drunk. I just wondered what it would be like to be a non-addict and have a glass or two of wine with dinner. I donít care why they do that... just what it feels like to be someone who isnít drinking just to get drunk. Some people who have an occasional glass or two have never been drunk in their lives. Thatís just so foreign to me that I find it fascinating.

Cynix, I canít stand being around drunk people. When Iíve tried to quit in the past, and Iíve gone to parties and stayed to the point that people were drunk, it scared me. I think itís stuff from my past, and that drunk people are so unpredictable - slurring their words to the point that they donít make sense, thinking these are funny when theyíre not, hanging all over me. Itís not fun to be a sober person when people are falling down drunk. I commend you for getting through all of that. Also, very happy that your medical tests came back normal. I know itís fristrsting not having answers though.

Suze, that mustíve been very scary for you. I find it sad, because Iíve done this too, that when we think of only us, we donít care that weíre hurting ourselves. However, when we think of our pets, friends and family, itís an eye opener. I do care now because I can see how me being hurt or sick does affect my loved ones, but when weíre in the throws of addiction, we just donít see that.
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Old 02-18-2020, 02:49 PM
  # 111 (permalink)  
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Hello All! Just finished catching up on all the great new posts. Weíre all going through a lot of ďfirstsĒ and itís so great to see the successes! Of course, we may some bumps along the way as well.

ButterMarsh Iím with you 1000%. We get to choose our perspective on things. I could take the view that I have a terrible disease and will be fighting the urge for the rest of my life. But thatís such a depressing thought for me. And if I think Iím going to crave then I certainly will. We are what we think we are. I prefer to view things much like you do in that I really concentrate a lot on how alcohol is a lie and how lucky I am to be in the ďknowĒ. But Iím still on guard because the old thought patterns are still lurking Iím sure.

in regards to tv shows, Iím staying away from anything that glamorizes drinking because drinking is ridiculous. HA! According to Public Health Ontario ďAlcohol is a leading risk factor for disease, disability and premature death in Canada.Ē Thereís a giant money making industry out there that wants us to drink. its awful that drinking has become the norm in most societies.

I have, however, taken in a few episodes of Intervention, something I couldnít watch when I was drinking.

Jr, Glad your trip went well!
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Old 02-18-2020, 05:00 PM
  # 112 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
The night I drank 2 litres of chardonnay only to wake up to my cat being gravely ill was my greatest shame.
Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7 View Post
when we think of only us, we donít care that weíre hurting ourselves. However, when we think of our pets, friends and family, itís an eye opener. I do care now because I can see how me being hurt or sick does affect my loved ones, but when weíre in the throws of addiction, we just donít see that.
For so long, especially the last 10 years or so, I've spent so much effort trying to "manage" my drinking. I have probably driven over the legal limit hundreds of times and have allowed my drinking to increase the level of risk countless times in countless situations. Most of the time it didn't seem so dangerous at the time. Sometimes it did and I did it anyway.

I was concerned about getting a DUI but don't remember being too worried about myself. Now I can contemplate the pain it would have caused others if something happened to me.

It seems unforgivable now to have put others at risk, my family and friends as well as strangers and their families. But at the time I didn't see it anywhere near as clearly as I do now. I guess that is the power that the addiction has over you.
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Old 02-18-2020, 05:22 PM
  # 113 (permalink)  
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^^^ But we see now....this is the power that healing has over us. s ❤️
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Old 02-18-2020, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Sober45 View Post
in regards to tv shows, Iím staying away from anything that glamorizes drinking because drinking is ridiculous. HA!
More than TV, I think that the music I otherwise like is an issue now. Nearly all songs have some reference to drinking alcohol: drunk on a plane, cold beer in the console, now it's bottoms up, take a sip of that feel right. Not sure how it's going to shake out longterm.
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Old 02-18-2020, 05:50 PM
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For me, the music was a big issue too, for a while, but it's all good now so I think it changes with sober time. s
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Old 02-18-2020, 06:10 PM
  # 116 (permalink)  
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I got used to it.

You can listen to a song like Steve Miller's Take the Money and Run and not be tempted to rob a bank

D
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Old 02-18-2020, 06:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I got used to it.

You can listen to a song like Steve Miller's Take the Money and Run and not be tempted to rob a bank

D
Now you tell me!!!!!!!!

I kid
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Old 02-18-2020, 06:17 PM
  # 118 (permalink)  
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Just remembered there's also a reference to getting high and watch the tube - don't do that either

In all seriousness, I'm a musician - music is my life. If a song ever triggered me I had a long list of musos to consult, all gone or lost, before their time due to addiction.

D
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Old 02-18-2020, 06:32 PM
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I quit listening to talk radio because nearly all of it is politically inflammatory, which I think was contributing to the problem before.

I have been youtubing stuff like old Larry the cable guy shows, but that is not a longterm solution.

A friend of mine who successfully quit drinking several years ago began listening to nothing but gospel music. I think largely for the reasons we are discussing. While I have nothing against gospel music at all, and listen to it sometimes, I don't see that as a longterm solution either.

Maybe Dee is right and there will eventually be a desensitization effect.
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Old 02-18-2020, 07:35 PM
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Not sure if its desensitisation or just simply acceptance for me - but I can go anywhere and do anything with anyone now and not want to drink or miss it.

Its a great freedom
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