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Old 02-17-2020, 10:16 AM   #81 (permalink)
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Love and hello Sober45 and Lixie. s xxxxxx ❤️❤️❤️
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:18 AM   #82 (permalink)
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sobermafia, yes!!! Iím so glad you mentioned that because I have thought the same thing over the past month. I watch all sorts of TV shows, and Iíd say 95% of them have people drinking. However, one show I watch is Vanderpump Rules (I know, silly reality TV), and one of the women on there, Lala, started off this season saying that sheíd been sober for 8 months. They are all young, work at various bars, and party hard. As Iíve watched the season, Iíve especially watched her. She goes out with her peers, and she drinks water. Sheís surround by hard core drinkers, yet she remains firm in her sobriety. So, and I never do this, I DMd her on Instagram and told her how nice it was to see a sober person on TV, and I thanked her for sharing her sober journey. She wrote me back! She was very kind.

Anyway, I know thatís a long story, but Iíve been finding myself trying to look for the sober people in my TV shows, or Iíll watch the people drinking and see how they inevitably make fools of themselves (on ďrealityĒ TV anyway). On regular shows, I tell myself that theyíre probably drinking water with food coloring. It can be very triggering though.
Daisybelle7 - one of my guilty pleasures is Vanderpump Rules. You caught me! LOL.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:22 AM   #83 (permalink)
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Daisybelle7 - one of my guilty pleasures is Vanderpump Rules. You caught me! LOL.
Lol! I canít tell you how glad I am not to be alone in that guilty pleasure! I really didnít care much for Lala, but 1) sheís probably playing a character of sorts because these shows have to be somewhat scripted; and 2) I think itís cool that she can use the show as a platform for sobriety.

I watch all of the Bravo reality shows. How about you? Summer House is my favorite... talk about drinking. Thatís a tough one to watch sometimes.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:25 AM   #84 (permalink)
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Oh yes sobermafia.....with you all the way....when I got sober I was unable to watch a ton of shows....so many of them revolve around alcohol....craziness....it is in almost every scene in many shows...

I also used to like to drink with them (made me feel like I was doing nothing at all wrong, sort of), the whole glam drinking thing looked so cool and I wanted to join in. Ridiculous hey? On so many levels.

Even Shameless. Even though it shows how far drugs and alcohol could take us, I was still triggered by Frank Gallagher. (Drunk matriarch).

I decided to stop watching tv all together....the advertisements were often worse than the actual shows. And I still do that....I watch everything I watch on my laptop with no adds or movies etc that I put on a flash drive and plug into the tv.

Sorry, that was a lot....but yes.....I totally hear you. ❤️
More power to you to cut the shows out completely. I get why you probably had to do that, but I'm not sure I can do that. I mean I'm trying tell myself that I am getting more out of the shows watching them sober etc, but I guess I need to counteract the glamorization of drinking aspect and not letting it trigger me.

I hate to cut the shows out completely because then I think I'm going to resent it and feel like I am missing out and that being sober stinks and is punishment.

Besides, I have a few coworkers where we talk about TV shows like The Bachelor the next day and the train wreck that the show is.

I don't have cable so I very seldom have to watch commercials, so I guess I'm lucky there.

I can't blame the TV shows completely. I think it's a combination of things - work stress, family stress, etc. But it is definitely different watching shows sober, and I'll admit that sometimes watching the shows makes me miss wine.

But I know that the reality shows just show a glimpse of people's lives and that they aren't drinking 100 percent of the time etc.

Ugh! I sound messed up. But I guess I just have to be honest and put it out there, that this aspect of being sober has its pros and cons.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:26 AM   #85 (permalink)
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You don't sound messed up at all. s

So these are my reality shows.....wait for it.... Biggest Loser and Amazing Race.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:26 AM   #86 (permalink)
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Lol! I canít tell you how glad I am not to be alone in that guilty pleasure! I really didnít care much for Lala, but 1) sheís probably playing a character of sorts because these shows have to be somewhat scripted; and 2) I think itís cool that she can use the show as a platform for sobriety.

I watch all of the Bravo reality shows. How about you? Summer House is my favorite... talk about drinking. Thatís a tough one to watch sometimes.
Um, Summer House was the other one I was thinking of. Are you like reading my mind or something? And my Real Housewives of New York and Beverly Hills will be starting again soon.

Between Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, and Bachelor, It's been tough lately LOL.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:28 AM   #87 (permalink)
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Yeah, I bet.....these shows are all about this glam glam social life and the alcohol companies are major sponsors.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:29 AM   #88 (permalink)
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Yeah, I bet.....these shows are all about this glam glam social life and the alcohol companies are major sponsors.
I'm sure that is probably true! I will go crawl in a hole now after revealing some of subpar television I watch LOL.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:32 AM   #89 (permalink)
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I refrained from saying I watch The Bachelor, but now I feel like I should come clean with that one, too. Iíve watched almost every season since it first aired in 2000. ... and yes, what a train wreck. I watch all the others you mentioned and how about Bachelor in Paradise? Itís like they take the most train wreck-y people and give them their own show.

Suze, I used to watch both of those shows. I canít remember why I donít anymore. I should look for them OnDemand.

In all seriousness though, those shows can be very triggering. I also find myself being a bit envious that I canít drink like those people drink. It is very glamorized. I remind myself how good it feels to wake up sober, but itís still a struggle. I donít want to go back to my drinking self, I want to be able to drink like other non-addicts can. Itíll never happen.
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:48 AM   #90 (permalink)
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Very good topic.

I like to watch deadliest catch. A lot of those crabbers have real live addition problems with alcohol and/or drugs. Really hard core stuff sometimes. They make tons of money with which to finance it. Many of them have had serious problems with health or the law, or have lost their family and/or business due to addiction. Does it make me think about having a drink or trying to score some coke? NO WAY!

The comedian Ron White has a trademark of starting every show by fixing a scotch and water (I think) which he then drinks during the course of the show. Does that make me think about having a mixed drink? YES. I don't plan on watching Ron white anytime soon.
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Old 02-17-2020, 11:18 AM   #91 (permalink)
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I'm sure that is probably true! I will go crawl in a hole now after revealing some of subpar television I watch LOL.
Gosh no.....it is a huge part of popular culture these days....I have nothing against the shows at all..... xxxxxx
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Old 02-17-2020, 12:32 PM   #92 (permalink)
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I refrained from saying I watch The Bachelor, but now I feel like I should come clean with that one, too. Iíve watched almost every season since it first aired in 2000. ... and yes, what a train wreck. I watch all the others you mentioned and how about Bachelor in Paradise? Itís like they take the most train wreck-y people and give them their own show.

Suze, I used to watch both of those shows. I canít remember why I donít anymore. I should look for them OnDemand.

In all seriousness though, those shows can be very triggering. I also find myself being a bit envious that I canít drink like those people drink. It is very glamorized. I remind myself how good it feels to wake up sober, but itís still a struggle. I donít want to go back to my drinking self, I want to be able to drink like other non-addicts can. Itíll never happen.
On Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise and Bachelorette, they basically make alcohol available to heighten the personalities and increase the drama factor.

I'm sure the same is true with some of the other reality shows as well. I mean they only tape for a small period of time, and we only see a very small portion of people's lives on reality tv. And a lot of it is generated reality, not reality for real.

I probably should hold off on watching some of these shows while I'm under so much stress etc, but I feel like I have to find a new day of watching things and find my new normal again. And it's sort of like dieting, the more restrictive you are, the more you want what you can't have, so I hesitate to turn the shows off.

We/I can't just live in our sober safety net of staying at home and watching paint dry. Need to figure out how to be out in the world and be okay with who I/we am/are in spite of the triggers. But maybe I'm playing with fire by watching these shows. I don't know.
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Old 02-17-2020, 01:26 PM   #93 (permalink)
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sobermafia, thereís nothing wrong with taking a break to keep yourself safe. We all need to learn how to function in the ďreal worldĒ, but if we donít feel safe, then thatís a warning flag. I donít feel like I can go to any parties that have alcohol right now, so if you feel like those TV shows are too triggering right now, then thereís nothing wrong with avoiding them. Look at it this way... you can save them all up on your DVR and binge them sometime in the summer when youíre bored and under less stress.
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Old 02-17-2020, 02:25 PM   #94 (permalink)
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Hi mates!

I like me some reality TV too. However, like Suze, I've cut out alot of the stuff I used to watch. Not only because of alcohol, but honestly the message some of these shows and movies send is pretty skewed and I'm finding the new me less tolerant of it. The little I watch, though, can be triggering.

Which brings me to what you said, db, about wanting to be able to drink like non-addicts... There-in lies the key... Why should we even want that???? I don't want to drink at all. Not anymore. Given the choice between being a normie and a teetotaler from day one, I'd go with the latter. I'm slowly discovering now what a lie alcohol is in our lives.

I really pray I never relapse, lol. I think I'd hate myself knowing what I know now.

Having said that, I do, out of habit mostly, still miss it from time to time.
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Old 02-17-2020, 02:34 PM   #95 (permalink)
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Other than that, it's been lovely as always, catching up with the posts. I usually can check in when my kids are sleeping...

Today was a beautiful, warm day. After a whole week indoors, I finally got to go out for an afternoon walk with my daughter, picked my son from school and had a jolly time at the playground 😊.

I'm still on my introspective path and discovering so many life changing things. I feel so blessed, you know? Like I've been given a second chance.

❤🤗
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Old 02-17-2020, 02:50 PM   #96 (permalink)
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Hi everyone, just popping in to say hello, thanks for all your support. I haven’t checked in much the last few days so it took ages to catch up on posts, but I love reading all your posts xxx
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Old 02-17-2020, 02:51 PM   #97 (permalink)
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I know exactly what that feels like dear Buttermarsh.
Hope you have a lovely evening. s ❤️

Hey Willow honey....happy Tuesday. s ❤️
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Old 02-17-2020, 02:51 PM   #98 (permalink)
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After re-reading what I wrote, it occurred to me that normie drinking lost its appeal to me because of alcoholism. I couldn't stand the thought of nursing one tiny glass of wine all dinner time! How excruciating! So, towards the end (recent end, lol), I'd cut out drinking outside the house. However, of course I over indulged in the privacy of my home. What a horrifying way to think and live!

Onwards... By the way, I've quit social media too, db. Not because of alcohol, but I found that it triggered my depression, sometimes in very sneaky ways. So I've decided it's time to clean up my mind thoroughly before I can delve back into it. I'm giving myself a year...

��
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Old 02-17-2020, 03:05 PM   #99 (permalink)
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Daisybelle7, how is your foot? Is it very sore? Are you hobbling around on crutches?
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Old 02-17-2020, 03:16 PM   #100 (permalink)
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ButterMarsh, Iím back a little on FB now. Iím was gone from Christmas until a few days ago. I have a better perspective having taken a break. I like the idea of keeping in touch with HS friends who are all out of state, but I donít want to share every detail of my life. I hope you have a great evening!

Willow, nice to see you back.

Cityboy, thank you for asking. Itís not too bad pain-wise - just some burning and stinging. I use crutches around the house. Iíve only left the house once since surgery, and used one of those knee scooters which was actually a lot of fun.
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