Class of January 2020 PART 4
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7 
sobermafia, yes!!! I’m so glad you mentioned that because I have thought the same thing over the past month. I watch all sorts of TV shows, and I’d say 95% of them have people drinking. However, one show I watch is Vanderpump Rules (I know, silly reality TV), and one of the women on there, Lala, started off this season saying that she’d been sober for 8 months. They are all young, work at various bars, and party hard. As I’ve watched the season, I’ve especially watched her. She goes out with her peers, and she drinks water. She’s surround by hard core drinkers, yet she remains firm in her sobriety. So, and I never do this, I DMd her on Instagram and told her how nice it was to see a sober person on TV, and I thanked her for sharing her sober journey. She wrote me back! She was very kind.
Anyway, I know that’s a long story, but I’ve been finding myself trying to look for the sober people in my TV shows, or I’ll watch the people drinking and see how they inevitably make fools of themselves (on “reality” TV anyway). On regular shows, I tell myself that they’re probably drinking water with food coloring. It can be very triggering though.
Anyway, I know that’s a long story, but I’ve been finding myself trying to look for the sober people in my TV shows, or I’ll watch the people drinking and see how they inevitably make fools of themselves (on “reality” TV anyway). On regular shows, I tell myself that they’re probably drinking water with food coloring. It can be very triggering though.
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Originally Posted by sobermafia
Daisybelle7 - one of my guilty pleasures is Vanderpump Rules. You caught me! LOL.
I watch all of the Bravo reality shows.
How about you? Summer House is my favorite... talk about drinking. That’s a tough one to watch sometimes.
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Originally Posted by venuscat
Oh yes sobermafia.....with you all the way....when I got sober I was unable to watch a ton of shows....so many of them revolve around alcohol....craziness....it is in almost every scene in many shows...
I also used to like to drink with them (made me feel like I was doing nothing at all wrong, sort of), the whole glam drinking thing looked so cool and I wanted to join in. Ridiculous hey? On so many levels.
Even Shameless. Even though it shows how far drugs and alcohol could take us, I was still triggered by Frank Gallagher. (Drunk matriarch).
I decided to stop watching tv all together....the advertisements were often worse than the actual shows. And I still do that....I watch everything I watch on my laptop with no adds or movies etc that I put on a flash drive and plug into the tv.
Sorry, that was a lot....but yes.....I totally hear you.
❤️
I also used to like to drink with them (made me feel like I was doing nothing at all wrong, sort of), the whole glam drinking thing looked so cool and I wanted to join in. Ridiculous hey? On so many levels.
Even Shameless. Even though it shows how far drugs and alcohol could take us, I was still triggered by Frank Gallagher. (Drunk matriarch).
I decided to stop watching tv all together....the advertisements were often worse than the actual shows. And I still do that....I watch everything I watch on my laptop with no adds or movies etc that I put on a flash drive and plug into the tv.
Sorry, that was a lot....but yes.....I totally hear you.
❤️I hate to cut the shows out completely because then I think I'm going to resent it and feel like I am missing out and that being sober stinks and is punishment.
Besides, I have a few coworkers where we talk about TV shows like The Bachelor the next day and the train wreck that the show is.
I don't have cable so I very seldom have to watch commercials, so I guess I'm lucky there.
I can't blame the TV shows completely. I think it's a combination of things - work stress, family stress, etc. But it is definitely different watching shows sober, and I'll admit that sometimes watching the shows makes me miss wine.
But I know that the reality shows just show a glimpse of people's lives and that they aren't drinking 100 percent of the time etc.
Ugh! I sound messed up. But I guess I just have to be honest and put it out there, that this aspect of being sober has its pros and cons.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7
Lol! I can’t tell you how glad I am not to be alone in that guilty pleasure! I really didn’t care much for Lala, but 1) she’s probably playing a character of sorts because these shows have to be somewhat scripted; and 2) I think it’s cool that she can use the show as a platform for sobriety.
I watch all of the Bravo reality shows. How about you? Summer House is my favorite... talk about drinking. That’s a tough one to watch sometimes.
I watch all of the Bravo reality shows.
How about you? Summer House is my favorite... talk about drinking. That’s a tough one to watch sometimes.Between Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, and Bachelor, It's been tough lately LOL.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Originally Posted by venuscat
Yeah, I bet.....these shows are all about this glam glam social life and the alcohol companies are major sponsors. 
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I refrained from saying I watch The Bachelor, but now I feel like I should come clean with that one, too. 
I’ve watched almost every season since it first aired in 2000. ... and yes, what a train wreck. I watch all the others you mentioned and how about Bachelor in Paradise? It’s like they take the most train wreck-y people and give them their own show.
Suze, I used to watch both of those shows. I can’t remember why I don’t anymore. I should look for them OnDemand.
In all seriousness though, those shows can be very triggering. I also find myself being a bit envious that I can’t drink like those people drink. It is very glamorized. I remind myself how good it feels to wake up sober, but it’s still a struggle. I don’t want to go back to my drinking self, I want to be able to drink like other non-addicts can. It’ll never happen.
I’ve watched almost every season since it first aired in 2000. ... and yes, what a train wreck. I watch all the others you mentioned and how about Bachelor in Paradise? It’s like they take the most train wreck-y people and give them their own show. Suze, I used to watch both of those shows. I can’t remember why I don’t anymore. I should look for them OnDemand.
In all seriousness though, those shows can be very triggering. I also find myself being a bit envious that I can’t drink like those people drink. It is very glamorized. I remind myself how good it feels to wake up sober, but it’s still a struggle. I don’t want to go back to my drinking self, I want to be able to drink like other non-addicts can. It’ll never happen.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Very good topic.
I like to watch deadliest catch. A lot of those crabbers have real live addition problems with alcohol and/or drugs. Really hard core stuff sometimes. They make tons of money with which to finance it. Many of them have had serious problems with health or the law, or have lost their family and/or business due to addiction. Does it make me think about having a drink or trying to score some coke? NO WAY!
The comedian Ron White has a trademark of starting every show by fixing a scotch and water (I think) which he then drinks during the course of the show. Does that make me think about having a mixed drink? YES. I don't plan on watching Ron white anytime soon.
I like to watch deadliest catch. A lot of those crabbers have real live addition problems with alcohol and/or drugs. Really hard core stuff sometimes. They make tons of money with which to finance it. Many of them have had serious problems with health or the law, or have lost their family and/or business due to addiction. Does it make me think about having a drink or trying to score some coke? NO WAY!
The comedian Ron White has a trademark of starting every show by fixing a scotch and water (I think) which he then drinks during the course of the show. Does that make me think about having a mixed drink? YES. I don't plan on watching Ron white anytime soon.
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Originally Posted by sobermafia
I'm sure that is probably true! I will go crawl in a hole now after revealing some of subpar television I watch LOL.
xxxxxx
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7
I refrained from saying I watch The Bachelor, but now I feel like I should come clean with that one, too. I’ve watched almost every season since it first aired in 2000. ... and yes, what a train wreck. I watch all the others you mentioned and how about Bachelor in Paradise? It’s like they take the most train wreck-y people and give them their own show.
Suze, I used to watch both of those shows. I can’t remember why I don’t anymore. I should look for them OnDemand.
In all seriousness though, those shows can be very triggering. I also find myself being a bit envious that I can’t drink like those people drink. It is very glamorized. I remind myself how good it feels to wake up sober, but it’s still a struggle. I don’t want to go back to my drinking self, I want to be able to drink like other non-addicts can. It’ll never happen.
I’ve watched almost every season since it first aired in 2000. ... and yes, what a train wreck. I watch all the others you mentioned and how about Bachelor in Paradise? It’s like they take the most train wreck-y people and give them their own show. Suze, I used to watch both of those shows. I can’t remember why I don’t anymore. I should look for them OnDemand.
In all seriousness though, those shows can be very triggering. I also find myself being a bit envious that I can’t drink like those people drink. It is very glamorized. I remind myself how good it feels to wake up sober, but it’s still a struggle. I don’t want to go back to my drinking self, I want to be able to drink like other non-addicts can. It’ll never happen.
I'm sure the same is true with some of the other reality shows as well. I mean they only tape for a small period of time, and we only see a very small portion of people's lives on reality tv. And a lot of it is generated reality, not reality for real.
I probably should hold off on watching some of these shows while I'm under so much stress etc, but I feel like I have to find a new day of watching things and find my new normal again. And it's sort of like dieting, the more restrictive you are, the more you want what you can't have, so I hesitate to turn the shows off.
We/I can't just live in our sober safety net of staying at home and watching paint dry. Need to figure out how to be out in the world and be okay with who I/we am/are in spite of the triggers. But maybe I'm playing with fire by watching these shows. I don't know.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
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sobermafia, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break to keep yourself safe. We all need to learn how to function in the “real world”, but if we don’t feel safe, then that’s a warning flag. I don’t feel like I can go to any parties that have alcohol right now, so if you feel like those TV shows are too triggering right now, then there’s nothing wrong with avoiding them. Look at it this way... you can save them all up on your DVR and binge them sometime in the summer when you’re bored and under less stress.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 414
Hi mates!
I like me some reality TV too. However, like Suze, I've cut out alot of the stuff I used to watch. Not only because of alcohol, but honestly the message some of these shows and movies send is pretty skewed and I'm finding the new me less tolerant of it. The little I watch, though, can be triggering.
Which brings me to what you said, db, about wanting to be able to drink like non-addicts... There-in lies the key... Why should we even want that???? I don't want to drink at all. Not anymore. Given the choice between being a normie and a teetotaler from day one, I'd go with the latter. I'm slowly discovering now what a lie alcohol is in our lives.
I really pray I never relapse, lol. I think I'd hate myself knowing what I know now.
Having said that, I do, out of habit mostly, still miss it from time to time.
I like me some reality TV too. However, like Suze, I've cut out alot of the stuff I used to watch. Not only because of alcohol, but honestly the message some of these shows and movies send is pretty skewed and I'm finding the new me less tolerant of it. The little I watch, though, can be triggering.
Which brings me to what you said, db, about wanting to be able to drink like non-addicts... There-in lies the key... Why should we even want that???? I don't want to drink at all. Not anymore. Given the choice between being a normie and a teetotaler from day one, I'd go with the latter. I'm slowly discovering now what a lie alcohol is in our lives.
I really pray I never relapse, lol. I think I'd hate myself knowing what I know now.
Having said that, I do, out of habit mostly, still miss it from time to time.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 414
Other than that, it's been lovely as always, catching up with the posts. I usually can check in when my kids are sleeping...
Today was a beautiful, warm day. After a whole week indoors, I finally got to go out for an afternoon walk with my daughter, picked my son from school and had a jolly time at the playground 😊.
I'm still on my introspective path and discovering so many life changing things. I feel so blessed, you know? Like I've been given a second chance.
❤🤗
Today was a beautiful, warm day. After a whole week indoors, I finally got to go out for an afternoon walk with my daughter, picked my son from school and had a jolly time at the playground 😊.
I'm still on my introspective path and discovering so many life changing things. I feel so blessed, you know? Like I've been given a second chance.
❤🤗
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 414
After re-reading what I wrote, it occurred to me that normie drinking lost its appeal to me because of alcoholism. I couldn't stand the thought of nursing one tiny glass of wine all dinner time! How excruciating! So, towards the end (recent end, lol), I'd cut out drinking outside the house. However, of course I over indulged in the privacy of my home. What a horrifying way to think and live!
Onwards... By the way, I've quit social media too, db. Not because of alcohol, but I found that it triggered my depression, sometimes in very sneaky ways. So I've decided it's time to clean up my mind thoroughly before I can delve back into it. I'm giving myself a year...
��
Onwards... By the way, I've quit social media too, db. Not because of alcohol, but I found that it triggered my depression, sometimes in very sneaky ways. So I've decided it's time to clean up my mind thoroughly before I can delve back into it. I'm giving myself a year...
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
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ButterMarsh, I’m back a little on FB now. I’m was gone from Christmas until a few days ago. I have a better perspective having taken a break. I like the idea of keeping in touch with HS friends who are all out of state, but I don’t want to share every detail of my life. I hope you have a great evening!
Willow, nice to see you back.
Cityboy, thank you for asking. It’s not too bad pain-wise - just some burning and stinging. I use crutches around the house. I’ve only left the house once since surgery, and used one of those knee scooters which was actually a lot of fun.
Willow, nice to see you back.
Cityboy, thank you for asking. It’s not too bad pain-wise - just some burning and stinging. I use crutches around the house. I’ve only left the house once since surgery, and used one of those knee scooters which was actually a lot of fun.
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