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Old 02-15-2020, 02:32 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Hi team
Thank you all for your reflective and personal posts. It is hard to face so much raw family emotion, head on, without numbing ourselves the way we used to.

I think you said something sober45 about how hard it is breaking cycles within our families, and ourselves. I couldn't agree more.

My family is loving but dysfunctional and lost. We all drink. They are in awe that I have got this far into 2020 sober. One of my siblings called it a miracle.

Cityboy, your posts about the stages we are going through seems very similar to mine. Being forced to be present in raw emotionally hard times is definitely the new stage for me.

Confronting real-life pain and issues head-on and sober is as hard for me as it with all of us now. It is comforting to feel we are not the only ones and have this SR group to come back to each day. Learning to face life, good and bad, is what I feel I signed up for.

Have a loving, happy and sober day wonderful classmates

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Old 02-15-2020, 06:15 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Good morning everyone.

So sorry for your losses Willow. You sure have been through a lot in the past year....and also sorry to hear of those working through other rough patches with all the stress. It is great to see everyone remaining strong though and facing life head on.

I remember a simple graph someone posted back in the June '18 class about the success rate of remaining sober gradually climbing in this one to two month time frame and then increasing notably faster once one reaches 90+ days. (Hence, the emphasis on 90 days that comes up from time to time I imagine).

At that time, I grabbed a hold of that idea to power through this period where "life" begins to creep back in one event at a time, thinking that if I could reach 90, things would start settling down. That wasn't enough. Pondering recent posts by you all, I see I probably got complacent in my efforts to learn and build from each new experience (didn't realized just how "new" they were going to be being sober -vs- drinking).

Anyway, I am trying to be more introspective in my approach this time to learn and cope better. Your support and experiences are a big part of that learning process.

Hope that made some sense. The coffee is slow in making it into my veins this morning. Have a great and sober day. That's my plan as I work through day 40.
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Old 02-15-2020, 06:20 AM   #43 (permalink)
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It makes sense

Learning to live life on life's terms is a bit of a rude shock I think....things come at you that you never expected.....as they do for everyone...but I never learned how to cope with anything or deal like a grown-up before I got sober.

I'm learning now. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. s xx
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Old 02-15-2020, 09:03 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Willow, thinking of you and hoping itís going well this weekend.

I love how open and honest our class is. Iíve found that quite a bit throughout SR, and I like that we have our own little class to really get to know each other. It makes it easier to process all these feelings that are bound to crop up through our sober journeys.
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Old 02-15-2020, 03:37 PM   #45 (permalink)
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I've wondered if all classes are similar, but haven't taken the time to read through any of the other class threads. I would have to imagine that there are similarities in the stages that people go through. Everyone is different though with their own unique stories to tell, and each group of people is different.

I think that there is a healing strength or something that comes from opening yourself up and having other people do the same, and it certainly does help process the feelings that crop up.

I'm finding that some of the things I just didn't want to cope with were not as bad as I had thought. Many things are, just like I knew they were. At least I'm in a much better frame of mind for it.

Today is day 36 and I feel so much more confident about facing the challenges ahead. I've made it through the drive home from work enough now that I don't even really think about it. Made it through an out of town work trip, during which under previously ordinary circumstances I would have almost certainly drank nearly two cases of beer, but found local AA meetings instead. There are hard challenges yet to come. Work trips with my working/drinking buddies and the fishing trips that will start up soon will be perhaps the greatest challenges yet, but I feel much better prepared, thanks largely to SR and you guys. If I make it 120 days, I will have survived the majority of the worst challenges.

One of my sisters drinks a glass or two of wine most nights I thinks but is really a light weight compared to me. No one else in the family drinks to speak of. I still haven't talked to any of them about what I'm doing. Last night there was a group text going with my siblings and we were talking about the coronavirus. My brother said he thought he had the virus because he had drank too many coronas, which is a big joke because he probably never drinks beer unless he's with me. At least I was able to correspond last night without getting up this morning and being embarrassed about what I had said last night from being inebriated while texting my family.
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:49 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Hi Everyone,

Just checking in to say that I am exhausted after the last couple of days. The party went well, but it was a lot of work, and a lot of family time. I thought about stopping and getting a bottle of wine tonight on my way home, but didn't.

Heading to bed early, and starting fresh tomorrow. Ending day 46 sober!
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:51 PM   #47 (permalink)
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So glad you didn't make that stop love...you are going to be mega proud of yourself tomorrow.....this was huge....all that you had to do for the party and more than likely endure tonight....you are a rock star. s ❤️
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Old 02-15-2020, 05:34 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Excellent points, Cityboy. I like your way of thinking. Iím actually quite impressed with how much we share on SR. For the most part, I drank to suppress feelings, and here I am on SR sharing feelings I usually donít talk about. Baby steps. Iím curious... do you think your siblings will notice that you were sober this last time? Did you text enough and were you drinking during those times that this would be something they noticed? I think itís cool that you have sibling group texts. Itís just me and my brother in our family and we donít text very much.

sobermafia, Iím glad everything went well.

My husband and daughter had to take our puppy back to the ER - more of the same symptoms she had before needing surgery 1.5 weeks ago. No idea whatís going on with her. My daughter texted and said thereís a long wait at the ER.
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Old 02-15-2020, 05:34 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Best class ever
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Old 02-15-2020, 05:38 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Oh yes dear fish.... s
You have no idea how grateful I am to be in this thread.
The class threads are magic....the truth and sharing is huge. ❤️❤️

OMG DB.....now I can't finish eating....puppy.....praying that she is OK. s xxxxxxx
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Old 02-15-2020, 05:40 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Thank you... I know... I will say I am at least comforted in knowing they took good care of her last time. I didn’t go because of my foot/being on crutches and there’s snow on the ground, but my daughter will give her lots of love. I’ll post an update when I know more. Thank you for your prayers!
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Old 02-15-2020, 05:43 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Awww....thank you for saying you will post an update....you know I will fret big time. s ❤️

And of course you couldn't go honey.....you need to rest your foot. s xx
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Old 02-15-2020, 05:47 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Sending positive thoughts daisy
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Old 02-15-2020, 06:18 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Glad you survived the party sobermafia.

Daisybelle7, I hope the puppy is ok. I think that my siblings and other people will notice eventually. Many times I just wouldn't respond or answer the phone in the evening. Sometimes I would and just try not to sound drunk, at which I probably failed a lot. I'm guessing that it will take a little more time but eventually they'll figure it out. Our annual family scalloping trip in June will be a determining event. I usually lead the pack in beer, hard seltzer, and wine drinking so they will all have no choice but to notice, or else I will have failed at that point which I hope is not the case.
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Old 02-15-2020, 06:52 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Cityboy, you wonít fail. I have so much confidence in you.

My husband called and the vet did xrays. Itís exactly the same crap that was in her stomach and intestines before! WTH?! Thereís NO way she ingested anything weird in the last 1.5 weeks. Iím totally confused. Theyíre keeping her overnight and pumping her full of fluids to hopefully flush her out. It hasnít caused inflammation yet, but it will if they donít flush her out. Iím at a complete loss. I have no idea what this is.
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:00 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Hope they can figure it out Daisy.

D
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Old 02-16-2020, 05:32 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Ditto. s ❤️
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Old 02-16-2020, 05:36 AM   #58 (permalink)
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Hi Classmates

Sorry about the puppy, Daisy. Fingers crossed here. Wolfie congrats on 40 !
I agree , at this point it is the coping with and processing feelings sober, as Cityboy said, that is a new challenge.
Opening up my feelings and experiences more here, and reading others do the same, is really helping. Compared to previous attempts.

I feel my routine is settling now. No major AV's in restaurants or beer/wine lines in the grocery store. I have even been to work lunches in bars, as the only one not drinking with my food, and fending off occasional questions. It is still a constant daily grind and hard uphill push, but without as many tempting AV spikes.

Have a happy sober evening and day wherever you may be

dlb
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Old 02-16-2020, 06:20 AM   #59 (permalink)
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Thank you, everyone. Vet called this AM and there were no changes overnight. They will continue to flush her with fluids and more xrays later this AM.

Last night was one of the first nights in awhile that I really thought about drinking. I kept imagining just one sip. I didn’t, and I wouldn’t, but it was very vivid in my mind. I think the proverbial pink cloud is gone and I’m left with “now what?” Plus, with everything I’ve had going on, I’m a bit depressed. I still write a gratitude list every morning, but am kind of blah regardless.

dlb, you’re doing a great job! I’ve only been out to eat once since getting sober. It’s womderful that it’s becoming more the norm for you to handle those situations as a sober person. I’m proud of you.

Congratulations to fk on one month!! The days are just ticking away!
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Old 02-16-2020, 06:31 AM   #60 (permalink)
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You got this city!
I'm not sure how I'm gonna handle the inevitable questions from family when they come and they will.
I am thinking 1 of 2 ways. Either just plain say I quit because I just don't feel like drinking anymore, the 100% truth or maybe throw in the Dr. recommended quitting for a while.
I'm leaning towards #1.
Because basically I truly don't care what they think anymore. This is about me, not them.

Daisy, still sending positive thoughts out to your pup. Everything will be ok but I fully understand the anxiety when our loved ones are not well. Great job on kicking the AV to the curb.

Bacchus, my AV is irritating me right now also. Just fleeting thoughts, no cravings but I sure would like to go a day without hearing from the loser.
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