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Class of January 2020 PART 4

Old 02-21-2020, 10:26 PM
  # 181 (permalink)  
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Hey, I actually have some time to catch up a bit.

FK...I'm betting you will enjoy kayaking. It gets you right down there in the water -vs- a boat. My wife and I have done a lot of kayaking in the past 6 or 7 years and that is the one aspect I really enjoy. You feel more a part of nature I suppose. Might take some practice fishing from one though. I haven't tried that yet (although we run a guy during the summer that has rigged up a trolling motor and takes his kayak everywhere). Can sure get into some tight spots where the fish are hiding.

Willow, I think you are making a good decision. That is a tremendous amount of "life" to process. My MIL passed last year and even that threw me for a loop. While I am using that experience to better prepare for the eventuality of my folks passing, I am far from sure how well I could handle such an event. Stay strong and know that we are here to support you.

Sober53...Sorry to here of your situation...sending good thoughts your way. I have been fortunate not having to deal with anything extra stressful in early sobriety so far and I still find basic day to day stuff rather stressful anyway. Glad you are here. This class is definitely a strong source of support.

Daisy, how is the pup? That is a very frustrating and stressful situation. I have been in such situations myself. It is good to know you guys have a vet you like and trust. That helps.

Well, that a start to catching up anyway. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
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Old 02-22-2020, 02:11 AM
  # 182 (permalink)  
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Hey wolfie I kkow how you feel. Sometimes I will be thinking about something and be like, hmmm maybe not post worthy. Then someone mentions the same or similar thoughts and it's a whole conversation.

Goes to show we are not alone. This thing affects everyone pretty much the same. Not exactly but similarly enough we understand what each other are saying.

Kayaking,
I am looking forward to it. You hit the nail on the head as to why I got one. To get closer to nature and enjoy a slower pace than when on the boat.
Catching a fish would just be icing on the cake!
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Old 02-22-2020, 02:54 AM
  # 183 (permalink)  
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Hi

I couldn't have described it better, FK & Wolfie. The uninspired , fatigue, depression-like sleep has definitely been part of my journey. I can sleep long periods, take naps, and still be tired later. It is crazy.

As many of us have similar symptoms, I guess it is just mental-chemistry-dependency adjustment.. or something ? You can tell I know nothing about the medical field

On my last spell of sobriety, I remember a long period, where I got sober and expected big improvements to immediately come along. I pictured that drinking was the cause and, and if I stopped that, life would magically be great.
In many ways, life got harder. I had to confront things and process painful situations without an off switch. I didn't even have a drinking social group around me anymore.

This time, I want to enter that phase differently. Hopefully having learned a tiny bit more.

It is the weekend so my Saturday battle is on. I am ready for it. Have a healthy, happy and sober day all.

dlb
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Old 02-22-2020, 04:31 AM
  # 184 (permalink)  
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Some days haven't been as bad, but many days it seems that I can barely drag my behind out to get any work done. Yesterday afternoon I didn't even have the energy to post on SR, and I was more hungry. It could also be because I finally went back to the gym on Thursday for first time in seven weeks.

Reading the similar experiences of others on SR has been a tremendous help to me.

Kayaking is great. It is one of the few things that my little family loves to do together.
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Old 02-22-2020, 05:14 AM
  # 185 (permalink)  
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I found that no matter how hard it was to face things and begin to mend a lot of the broken bits in early sobriety, it was incredibly healing and empowering.

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Old 02-22-2020, 05:43 AM
  # 186 (permalink)  
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Yep!
Every time I do something new, like go to the store by myself at 7pm , I feel stronger. I could never leave the house after 2- 3pm because I would not be sober.

My daughter was upset with me yesterday and got pretty righteous with me, must get that from her Mother , and it did not feel good but I spent the night reflecting on the reasons she was upset and we had a good convo this morning about it.

Now I feel even stronger.
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Old 02-22-2020, 05:46 AM
  # 187 (permalink)  
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Go fish!!!!

My dad was a bit brutal....he did not 'allow' us to be upset with him or mum.
Sounds like you and your daughter have a very good relationship.

And oh yeah....going to the store at night is a major victory huh? Once I went at midnight....just magnificent. s
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Old 02-22-2020, 06:03 AM
  # 188 (permalink)  
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Well she is 3000 miles away so she had that going for her. LOL

She is a strong, stubborn woman. Like her Mother and maybe me a little. LOL
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Old 02-22-2020, 06:29 AM
  # 189 (permalink)  
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MrWolfie, she is doing much better! She’s a little spitfire and a warrior. For being 4 months old and only 3.5 lbs., she came through all of this like a champ.

fk, I’m interested to hear how kayaking goes. My dad goes kayaking quite a bit and loves it. There’s a place on a reservoir here that rents kayaks. Sadly, I’ve never gone because 1) it didn’t involve drinking, or 2) I was too hungover from the night before. Now that you mentioned it, I’m really looking forward to trying it this year.

It sounds like we’ve all had a bit of a roller coaster ride with sobriety. I was super depressed last week, but today my spirits are really up. Maybe it’s a bit PAWS related? Or the pink cloud waning?
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Old 02-22-2020, 09:07 AM
  # 190 (permalink)  
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I never worried about the terms DB love. Pink cloud, PAWS....
For me, life on life's terms means some days are challenges. And then there are the days when the sun is shining and it's Saturday and life is great. s
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Old 02-22-2020, 10:30 AM
  # 191 (permalink)  
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Going By Store In Afternoon.
Early in the week I stopped on the way home at my favorite meat market. May have been the day there was a lot of chatter on SR about steak, don't remember. It also happens to be my favorite beer store because of their selection. Before, it would have been a no-brainer to check out what beers were on sale and something would have left that store with me, then begins the thought process of when and how fast can I start in so I won't be completely toasted when I turn into the driveway. There was really only a brief thought as I passed in and out of line-of-sight of the vast beer display. Another trigger whipped.
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Old 02-22-2020, 10:40 AM
  # 192 (permalink)  
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Oh, and a kayaking picture from last March. My kid making friends with a teenager manatee.

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Old 02-22-2020, 10:43 AM
  # 193 (permalink)  
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Cityboy it is much easier once you tell yourself you are NOT gonna drink.
The AV doesnt stand a chance after that. Good work.

Cool pic. We get bottlenose dolphins up here in the summer but those manatess are awesome.
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Old 02-22-2020, 11:10 AM
  # 194 (permalink)  
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Gorgeous pic....I want to see more manatees.!!!!!

So just thinking about what you said.....you used to drink from the second you got in the car all the way home....bet you are glad that is in the past. I know I am....you are safe now. s xx
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Old 02-22-2020, 11:25 AM
  # 195 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
Gorgeous pic....I want to see more manatees.!!!!!

So just thinking about what you said.....you used to drink from the second you got in the car all the way home....bet you are glad that is in the past. I know I am....you are safe now. s xx
There was always a lot of thought process put towards like: I can open one when I am at point A, another when I pass point B, another when I turn on the low traffic road close to home, the idea being to not quite be completely smashed yet when I turn in drive but nearly so. Then go slow down driveway and pull down by the pond to allow time for drinking about four more before going in. Pretty much a typical day.
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Old 02-22-2020, 11:27 AM
  # 196 (permalink)  
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Really glad you are not doing that anymore. s
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Old 02-22-2020, 11:40 AM
  # 197 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
Really glad you are not doing that anymore. s
As am I.

I think that it's a blessing to have a place like SR where you can be honest about these things and discuss them openly. To do otherwise would just be managing the symptoms and not the cause.
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Old 02-22-2020, 02:42 PM
  # 198 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone. And Thankyou for your support

Happy birthday Wolfie and congratulations on 45 days. And thank you for your supportive words.

Thank you too Buttermarsh.

I do think I need to talk through some old childhood abandonment/worthlessness issues that I know continue to plague my adult life. Iím going to see a counsellor again to work through them. Abstinence isnít enough, I need to work more actively on recovery.

Bacchus this is great!
ďIt feels like one thing to become sober and another thing to change the world we live in so we don't need to numb ourselves or escape from life anymore. Being sober, making good decisions, building relationships and good habits, seems to be the first steps of changing our world. In my mind anyway.Ē

Losing Mum & Dad threw me out totally and I still havenít managed to deal with it. Let alone more grief on top. So I do need to deal with it if Iím going to stay sober.

Well I decided to bring home a scrawny little runt of a rescue kitty from the shelter, because our house was so quiet without our boy constantly meowing about anything and everything. He was such a storyteller and we miss him so much. I wasnít sure if it was the right thing to do or not, and our new little man of course wonít replace him, but he is certainly bringing smiles, fun and love back into everyoneís hearts, so I think it was the right thing to do ❤️
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Old 02-22-2020, 02:48 PM
  # 199 (permalink)  
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Willow ~ I think that scrawny little one is the beginning of the key to your healing.
Sometimes when the pain has been so big, love heals us....giving and ultimately receiving from those sweet sweet babies.

Right now, (feel free to laugh) I get a lot of love from the squirrel I rescued. She is here every day and she is like a dog pretty much who doesn't come inside....it is magic. Life.

Remember this baby....sorry, but I still love it....I was a HUGE fan.



(Also I was in the audience of that video....Countdown. ).
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Old 02-22-2020, 03:06 PM
  # 200 (permalink)  
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Love Sherbet ❤️❤️❤️
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