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Class of January 2020 PART 3

Old 02-04-2020, 08:33 PM
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We had the strangest thing happen this evening. I was out with my daughter. I got an alert on my phone that someone rang our doorbell, so I assumed it was Amazon. Twenty minutes later, my husband called and told me that my ex-best friend showed up completely wasted at our house! I ditched her 2 years ago because when she drank she got really inappropriate with other people’s husbands, including my own. She was toxic in many ways.

Anyway, she came over to trash me, say I was telling lies about her, telling people not to be friends with her, etc. I haven’t said a word about her in 2 years. I don’t waste my time. I don’t even think about her anymore. So she left and drove home, then she came back 10-15 minutes later! Apparently she walked the 2nd time and her husband followed her in his car with their 2 kids in the car.

I’ve done super stupid things when I was drunk, so no judgement from me. I’m just really irritated that she showed up on our doorstep to trash me to my husband. She’s been a thorn in my side since I met her. The whole thing makes me really glad I’m sober!
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Old 02-04-2020, 08:35 PM
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Originally Posted by fishkiller View Post
30+ catfish biggest around 10-12 lbs
1 striped bass @ 22". Out of season so he went back. He be even bigger in a couple months when season is in.

Had another dozen or so come loose before we could get them to the boat.

Weather was nice, wind was down. Great day to be alive and sober
That’s awesome! Sounds like a great day! My dad used to take me fishing on Lake Erie when I was a kid. Great memories.
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Old 02-04-2020, 08:38 PM
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That's crazy!
It sucks someone comes to your home and behaves like that, Buuut, it did make you glad you were sober so there is that.

silver lining and all, you know
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Old 02-05-2020, 01:50 AM
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Good morning and evening all

Db7, that is quite disturbing for you. And sad for her, and her family and kids. Especially that she drove. I would be really upset and concerned she that doesn't come back again but feel conflicted if I am meant to help. It seems such an unhappy, toxic world, maybe you stay far away. I am sorry this happened.
Maybe it is a reminder for all of us, if we needed it, how destroying that life can be. Thanks for sharing.

Sober45. My strategy is similar to Jr, Cityboy and others. I am not getting into details with other people. I am just saying that I gave up for January and enjoyed the extra energy so decided to carry on for a few months. Being really vague. It feels like my business and my life.

No big news on my front. I would say my mood is generally calmer now and more clear headed. I used to sweat profusely on my way to work in the mornings. Especially on Monday, where it could grow into semi panic attack. Each morning now, on my way in, I think about that.

Have a healthy, sober and sweat free day all. ... Unless you are at the gym ...
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Old 02-05-2020, 02:29 AM
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I love all your posts

Daisybelle7 that’s awful of your ex friend. I hope she goes away and leaves you alone, you don’t need that kind of drama. I’m glad you’re happy to be sober. Sometimes seeing others in a drunken state can really strengthen our resolve!

I like what Dee and jr said, about most people (who don’t have issues with alcohol) not really caring whether we drink or not. The only 2 people who have questioned me or been concerned in any way, are the guy who quizzed me deeply on my motivation to stop drinking (who I strongly suspect has his own issues ) and a drinking buddy who I know ha drinking issues (is generally either drunk, hungover or something in between, or both). Most other “normal “ drinkers couldn’t give teo hoots about whether I’m drinking or not

At 36 days I’m happy to choose to not drink.

The AV was in my ear on the way home again tonight but I stopped at the supermarket instead and got some chicken and salad and some ginger lemon soft drink. With a full belly now I don’t feel like drinking at all and am eagerly anticipating bed very soon good night all
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Old 02-05-2020, 04:35 AM
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Daisybelle7, that sounds like a very awkward and difficult situation with your old friend. I have an old friend who lives a couple of hours away, not being judgmental and not going through the details, who's wife, who I also considered a friend, finally made the decision to request that he move out and got a restraining order against him for fear of the safety of herself and her kids. You want to help your old friends but also have to consider the "toxic" effect of being associated with them.

On the other hand, it makes me think about some of my behavior in the past.
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Old 02-05-2020, 04:50 AM
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Thank you for all of your thoughts. It’s sad to see anyone struggling. I really hope she gets help before she hurts herself or someone else. Cityboy, it made me think of my past drunken behavior as well. Glad to be on the other side, and also realizing I’m one drink away from being right back there.

fishkiller, Happy 3 weeks!
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Old 02-05-2020, 04:50 AM
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Willow, the AV was definitely in my ear yesterday afternoon as some of the same old relentless stresses were making their presence known. Not just the beer store trigger thing, but for a brief moment there seemed to be something familiar and gratifying about the notion of getting smashed on the way home. SR and the wonderful people here continue to be rock that helps me through those thoughts.
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Old 02-05-2020, 04:55 AM
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Willow and Cityboy, I read something on one of my alcohol recovery apps that made me think of both of you mentioning the beckoning of the AV... “Liquor looks good from the short view. When we look in a package store window, we see liquor dressed up in its best wrappings, with fancy labels and decorations.” It goes on to say that beneath the beauty, there’s poison. I like the visualization that goes with those statements.
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Old 02-05-2020, 04:58 AM
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Dontlookback I know what you mean about the sweating. I think that the alcohol was throwing all kinds of bodily systems out of whack.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7 View Post
beneath the beauty, there’s poison.
That's good
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:16 AM
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Hello class.

Well, it happened again. I was just about to hit Submit Reply on a carefully wrought post that I spent an hour on this morning composing, refining, revising, when my hand touched some portion of my laptop's touch screen to cause the thing to vanish.

So, in the 5 minutes or so that I now have available, let me say:

Yeow! I could scream!!!

(I just did, see?).

Ok now, deep breath, jr.

You are doing your best with your limited capabilities. No one can ask for more.

Exhale. The SobeRlandia Express chugs along, without, for the nonce, the particular words of wisdom or folly over which you had so fervidly labored this morning.

Oh well.

Accept what happened (because it happened, and you can't change the past, even the 5-minutes-ago, "how-could-you-be-so-clumsy -now-you've-wasted-half-the-morning" past),

Try to learn from the experience.

Breathe again.

Note the exaggeration: It wasn't half the morning, it was an hour. And it wasn't wasted, because you, jr, thought about that about which you were writing, and came to certain observations and conclusions about the subject(s), so you learned something, jr, so that is not a waste.

Be kind to yourself.

Let it go.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:36 AM
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Glad you are up in spirits bacchus!

Thank you daisybelle7! I havent been counting and it snuck up on me. BTW today will be a new sober record for me!

Willow and city, the AV is slick but you guys are more slicker! Keep up the good work👍👍

Jr, I used to love composing a lengthy and well thought out email at work only to have some computer glitch erase the whole thing right at the end. I feel your pain
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:36 AM
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Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7 View Post
We had the strangest thing happen this evening. I was out with my daughter. I got an alert on my phone that someone rang our doorbell, so I assumed it was Amazon. Twenty minutes later, my husband called and told me that my ex-best friend showed up completely wasted at our house! I ditched her 2 years ago because when she drank she got really inappropriate with other people’s husbands, including my own. She was toxic in many ways.

Anyway, she came over to trash me, say I was telling lies about her, telling people not to be friends with her, etc. I haven’t said a word about her in 2 years. I don’t waste my time. I don’t even think about her anymore. So she left and drove home, then she came back 10-15 minutes later! Apparently she walked the 2nd time and her husband followed her in his car with their 2 kids in the car.

I’ve done super stupid things when I was drunk, so no judgement from me. I’m just really irritated that she showed up on our doorstep to trash me to my husband. She’s been a thorn in my side since I met her. The whole thing makes me really glad I’m sober!
Just

I would have called the police on her if I was your husband r her husband. How dangerous.....and awful of her. s xx

(But I love the doorbell app.... ).
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted by DaisyBelle7 View Post
Willow and Cityboy, I read something on one of my alcohol recovery apps that made me think of both of you mentioning the beckoning of the AV... “Liquor looks good from the short view. When we look in a package store window, we see liquor dressed up in its best wrappings, with fancy labels and decorations.” It goes on to say that beneath the beauty, there’s poison. I like the visualization that goes with those statements.
^^^ Awesome DB....I love this. s xx
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:40 AM
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Love you jr!!! s ❤️

Hello dear Buttermarsh. s ❤️
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Old 02-05-2020, 10:08 AM
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How strange is this?

A few hours ago I posted a lament to a lost post that disappeared when I hit some as-yet unidentified button on my laptop.

Well now, just as mysteriously, the post has reappeared.

So here is it, about 5 hours late (it is now 1 p.m. here):

Bon jour class.

Hubby is sitting here in the living room with a few minutes to spare before he leaves for work (it is 7:10 a.m.), so he is on Duo Lingo, the free on-line program for teaching oneself a foreign language, as he is preparing for our increasingly likely trip to France at the end of June.

So bon jour.

Back to jr, and aujourd'hui (today):

An average Wednesday, Hump Day, for jr, it seems, lies ahead.

Those keeping track (i.e., none of you , but I'll tell you anyway) may wish to note that I opened the David Burns book, The Feeling Good Handbook, recommended to me by Sober45, as my bedtime reading last night, and flipped to Chapter 9, Why We Procrastinate. Looks like it has some right-on perspectives, insights, and exercises that may come in handy to yours truly.

But it was after midnight, I had been up since 5 a.m., so I got only as far as the first paragraph or 2 before I flipped off the light and actually slept pretty much through till 6 a.m. today. My sleep patterns are still all over the circadian rhythmical map on this, my Day 35 of sobriety, but 5.5 hours of almost uninterrupted sleep last night was gratifying, and may be a sign that I am headed for normal sleep soon. I am lucky enough that given my self-employed schedule, I can catch cat naps during the day if needed without

Sleep unaided by an artificial sleep-aid, I might add.

But I will also add (I don't recall seeing this mentioned in my travels on SR) that a week or two ago, when I was more troubled that my newly-active ethanol-free mind simply would not quiet down to allow me to doze off, I ventured to my local pharmacy and perused the sleep-aid aisle, looking for something (non-alcoholic) to "take the edge off."

Mindful that I do not want to start on a road of substituting dependence, or even reliance, on one artificial substance (a sleep-aid) for another (ethanol), I wanted to tread warily down this path.

LSS (long story short): I picked up the generic version of one of the over-the-counter sleep-aids (which, btw, is the exact same chemical, in the exact same concentration, as certain common over-the-counter allergy meds), and popped one or two of the pills that night, and it did help me string together a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

I have intentionally stayed away from using it again so far, because, as I said, I am leery of developing any kind of new substance dependence as my brain adapts to the extended absence of its former daily ethanol bath and regular infusions of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) (you know, pot).

But I have seen a lot of posts by peeps dealing with sleep issues, so I thought I'd mention that the otc sleep-aid, used occasionally and judiciously, might be something to consider.

I don't think this post crosses the boundary into the (appropriately) forbidden territory of giving medical advice here on SR, but if the moderators disagree, they should of course delete (and please let me know).
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Old 02-05-2020, 10:43 AM
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I don't use OTC sleep medications. That's just me maybe.....but I do not take anything at all other than Ibuprofen and Vitamins/Supplements. s xx
(or something prescribed by a doc like antibiotics).
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Old 02-05-2020, 02:03 PM
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its fine to recount your experience Jr - as long as it's not dangerous or illegal, of course!

Its best to stop short of outright recommendations tho because that does break the med advice rule.

Its common sense really. We can't know what state of health someone else is in or what other meds they might be taking....

All our rules are here, available to read, any time.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html

D
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Old 02-05-2020, 04:36 PM
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Jr! Glad you’ve started the book! It’s been so long I need to go dig out my copy.

The new me scored some serious brownie points with the daughter today for helping her through a tough situation. A truly positive outcome that probably would have went in a completely different direction had I been hungover and anxious. So much
clarity now. Never drinking again feels like a done deal right now... I detest alcohol for all it has taken from me!

And yet, the likelihood remains that at some point (maybe many points) in the future I’m going to have to rise up against the AV. I know she’s laying low right now but I expect, when I’m vulnerable, she will make her move. But at least I’m aware...one day at a time as they say.

Cheers to a sober tomorrow fellow januarians!






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