Class of January 2020 PART 2
 

Continues from here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2020-a-20.html

D

Calling Shot Gun. Thanks Dee! :)

End of Day 11, fought with the ugly voice a bit this evening, but he lost and I won. I thought about everything he said, but it was all BS, nothing was true or good that he was pushing. So I pushed him down where he belongs.

Realizing how important it is to change my thinking, it works in other areas too! :)

Onwards!

I feel you nailed it love....we don't have to listen to every random thought. :) :hug: s xx

Hi guys!

Day 16 is coming to an end. Stayed inside, baked some cookies, and watched the snow falling outside. I think I'm actually starting to feel better. Guess there's some truth to that kindling theory, I've never had withdrawal drag on this long before. I'm finally getting some decent sleep and my head is starting to clear up, brain fog sucks!

The evidence just keeps pillng on that alcohol is no longer a viable option for me.
No drink is worth being so sick. The anxiety, the depression, the humiliating loss of all dignity, and on and on...

Time to get a good nights sleep (fingers crossed)..:inbed
Sweet dreams Januarians, and take care...

Thanks Dee :)

Well done on squashing the ugly voice Time :) I call it the AV and it talks complete BS, so we’re best off ignoring it, or calling it out on the lies they tell :)

Patterson you’re right, no drink is worth being sick!

Finishing up day 15 and drinking ginger lemon juice, yummy :)

Agreed Patterson. The booze is really starting to affect my mental state. Never mind the physical toll, but my behaviour when drinking is becoming more and more erratic. I have memory lapses after consuming a relatively moderate amount of beer. Moderate for me I mean. 12 pints of beer shouldn't make me blackout/brownout.

I have snapshots in my head of being places no where near my neighborhood. No memory of how I got there or how I got home. No reason I can think why I would be there at midnight. I go to bed and then wake up and go out again by myself.

I think I am delusional sometimes because I'm not sure if things actually happened or not. Gives me anxiety attacks when I sober up...

Hello everyone :)

Lovely to see you doing so well.

Building strong core beliefs in a few things, like that sobriety improves your life, that alcohol will only detriment your life and that you are worth the effort and self care it takes to stop drinking, all help when the AV starts suggesting throwing in the towel or that trying to drink in moderation is a good idea.

Remind yourself regularly that you deserve to be sober and happy.

Good day, fellow January folk and any non-Januarians happening upon this post.

Up early on my Day 13 (it is 4 a.m. as I start to write this, and I've been up an hour).

I slept solidly for maybe 4 hours, and awoke with one of those energy jolts that tell me I won't be dozing off again soon. I'm self-employed with a flexible schedule so I'm about to get the coffee brewing and head over to my in-home office.

Hmm, I just remembered the gym is open 24 hours a day, I could head over there right now. I've always wondered who goes there in the middle of the night, but nah, I not gonna find out today.

Too much office work to catch up on anyway (but I will go to the gym later, jr67 tells himself with fingers and toes crossed for luck and inspiration).

jr67's observation of the day: It's gonna vary from person to person, and from day to day for each person, but this SR stuff, by which I mean one's entire commitment to one's sobriety journey, including here on the website and elsewhere (such as here in the space between the ears) sure consumes lots of time and mental energy. But then again, so did intoxication.

Happy Yesterday-plus-1.

Hi all

Just a quick check in. Doing OK here.
Best of luck to all on their journey's today

Correction, today is my Day 14, not 13. I seem to be arithmetically challenged this week. That's what I get for posting before my morning coffee.

the older I get the more I need an abacus Jr :)

D

Checking in day 12. I had a rough evening yesterday with ruminating thoughts about work, sadness that my brain can make me plenty miserable and OMG I can't even douse those feelings away. I know learning to cope with emotions is essential, the only way through. Journaling has helped in the past, a brain dump on paper. I need to do this soon ... like today.

Last night spent some time reading posts from folks celebrating big anniversaries, ie 6, 12 years. The early weeks or months are worth getting past they ALL say. Right now I'm trusting them, to stick this out. The AV is telling me that "those" people are stronger than me; they are different. All I know is that the AV has only "one solution" for everything. One size fits all, guaranteed. I know this is a massive lie, like putting a bandaid on a festering wound.

It's time to discover new ways of coping that will lead to a more content and richer, wider life. Just keep swimming everyone.

Morning all. Checking in on the morning of Day 15.

I think half the battle Silversky is those thoughts. I haven't read up on AV as much as you have yet, but I have been listening to subliminal messages on YouTube. Check out Thomas Hall and 30 Minute Mindset. I don't know if these videos/subliminal messages do anything, but I know from reading This Naked Mind that the subconscious is a powerful thing, so I figure anything I can do to strengthen it is a good thing?

And I agree. Just keep swimming! But ask for help or support when you need it.

I’m with you silversky. My AV tells me that constantly. I really seem to believe its words that I am worthless and can’t accomplish anything of value. You are right. I also need to find other ways to cope with emotions and to shut down that negative AV.

And good morning to everyone here. I wish you a contented and peaceful day/night, wherever you may be.

It’s very cold here this morning , -37c, and they’ve finally cancelled school . We are used to the cold in the Canadian Prairies but this is COLD ! We are all so miserable that somehow drinking didn’t even enter my mind last night. Tea it was and will be for a few more days . I read a post about flowers coming up in January. I can only imagine . We usually start to see some green in May, I hope that some things will survive this winter . And I agree , just keep swimming, even if the water is frozen.

I needed to find my way back to things I loved that made me feel good again.
I am very creative, like most of us it seems, and I began exploring those things.
I found out that I am a very good photographer and I now have two of my photos on the walls of our apartment on canvas....to be honest, I get a bit of a surprise still every time I walk into the loungeroom and see my huge sunrise on the wall: it is really amazing. And I did that. (somehow :)).

And my husband makes jewellery and has begun teaching me. And I love designing bracelets and earrings. Who'd a thunk? I used to admire people who did that and I knew I never would. But now I can and do.

I think it's easier to tell the negative thoughts to take a flying leap when we are doing stuff that builds our self-esteem. :) :hug: s

Oh my gosh MaggieMay ~ I did not know that temp existed outside of Alaska....I cannot imagine. I am sorry....hope you have ways to stay inside and that it gets a bit warmer SOON!!!

With you every step, even if we need to get you out of the ice. :hug: s xxx ❤️

EDIT....I am terrible at geography, so I looked you up...I see now....that's like one of the coldest places in the world. :hug: s xx

Good morning...., on the Canadian Westcoast anyway.

MaggieMay74... -37 that's crazy cold. It's -9 in Vancouver right now and we rarely get temperatures this low. I'd never survive a Prairie winter, or at least never leave the house..lol We got a huge dump of snow last night so all the schools are closed. And the children rejoice!!!

:wintera