Originally Posted by Willow68

Checking in for another 24 hours of not drinking.
Monday morning here and I would love to just stay in bed but there are too many things to do, including work, so I opt for coffee instead

I too love reading everyone’s posts including about family
Delilah, well done on your daughter growing up to be such an amazing person, like her Mum!
Trees I hope your MIL gets off her high horse without a fuss. Let us know how it goes.

At a recent family gathering, my BIL said to my sister, but directed to the family in general, about me not drinking “I really don’t know if we can trust her anymore.”
I think it was meant as a joke but it really got under my skin and I keep thinking about it. To be honest, it hurts, almost like I’ve been pushed to the outer, because I don’t drink and everyone else does. I know it’s not really like that. I know I shouldn’t let little things like that upset me, but it has. I need to let it go, I know.

Anyway, it’s not worth drinking over, that’s for sure. Nothing is.

Originally Posted by Babs1234

another 24 for me too please !
Willow I know what you mean about things being said about you being the only one who does not drink. I'm ok with it too but, feel very excluded some times. that passes too but, not always in the right frame of mind to see the humor.
and with the Holidays coming up I will be on my guard ---especially when that stinking thinking pops into my head.
Babs

Originally Posted by IcedVoVo

I went to see my mother at her home, and my brother was there too. She was, overall, so out of it, and weak. But at times she would snap at us, and that was actually good in a way. Then she’d drift away again. By the time I left she was lifting her arm to wave goodbye, and eating some snacks. The prognosis is very poor, and likely she has only days left. When I got home I realized that I have accepted that. I’m really numb which is a blessing. And also know it could be longer. Yesterday was a very good day. It’s so hard to know and now I have accepted that. The worrying, fear and trying to control and predict things hurt the most. I want it to be as comfortable as it can be for her.

I’m keeping things going in my life, in a bare minimum way. Showered, hair clean and slightly fixed, regular meals, a bit of exercise, sleep. Letting go of resentment about troublesome things in my life, or how limited life has become helps. This is how it is. I can’t struggle so much. I just need to hold steady and keep my head above water. I stare at shows, read stupid stories on the internet, play Bubble Witch, drag through work, putter out in the yard, sweep the floor and am pathologically obsessed with laundry. There can be no unclean clothing item anywhere in the house! I’m actually coping somehow. It’s even slightly comical. Whatever keeps me steady. I have a gorgeous red oak out back that is stunning and it helps me to watch the leaves fall.

I know there are tougher days ahead—but accepting this is huge. I have gotten kindness from people I didn’t expect to..people who know where I’m at and somehow know what to do. My manager is one..and he has never ever known how to talk to me. I’m just a far northeastern girl. He’s quite pleasant and very Texan. We’re just culturally as different as we can be... but he walked right up anyway. He stood right by me for an hour and listened. He then hugged me and it was funny since it was like hugging an alien, I’m sure. I talk funny, think funny, act funny. Truth! Happily, I have plenty of Texas friends who seem to really like aliens..haha

And here, people on this thread. Total strangers are reaching out though they know me only from my posts. And I know you that way as well. Just yesterday something lovely was sent to me from a dear friend. We have a connection. I am cared for. The people on this thread are amazing. I hope I meet you someday so I can hear you shout ‘VoVo!’ And I shout your screen name and everyone around gives us crazy looks.

Some friends ghost...politely disappear..they are afraid. It’s not about me. I let them be as they are and don’t love them less. It’s ok. All over the US and Northern Europe it’s common to deny death, to fear it and rarely speak of it. I see now how I can help others through this type of pain. And the pain of getting sober. It’s a blessing. So much good can come from terrible times in our lives.

Thank you for listening.


24 , love,

Xxxxxx

Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

(((VoVo))) what dignity you show in such distressing times. I am certain I am not alone wishing you as much peace as possible and that your beautiful mother does not suffer unnecessarily over the coming days xxx

I felt like I was beginning to drown in my own anxiety over the last week. My coping skills are poor and I cling on to negative thoughts. I did end up having a productive discussion with my partner - well huge argument to be honest but it cleared the air a little. We set to clearing out the garage to make room for Christmas things and that helped me to feel a little less out of control.

It's a dark drizzly Monday here in the UK but I must attempt to get out with the dog for a while. I really am trying to look after my physical self a little better in the hope that my mind will ease a little too. So far I must admit it isn't working too well but I won't give in just yet. The counsellor I saw said the ADs can impede the effectiveness of the therapy so I am holding off until my regular sessions begin. I am managing. That is as good as it is getting right now but goodness me it could be so so much worse. I am sober and ever grateful for that.

24 more please with lots of love

Originally Posted by wiscsober

It might not have been possible and awkward but the chairman and members approach him afterwards and talk to him. Maybe somebody did. Just me, but a well run meeting has announcements of protocol.

Originally Posted by venuscat

I hope you won't mind me saying this darling JoJo, but I have bells ringing in my head over your counsellor's comment. WHAT????

It is her job to work with your GP not sabotage you. This makes me very uncomfortable. How qualified is she? Does she know depression is a disease that needs proper treatment? Sorry.....just love you and this is very concerning. s ❤️

Originally Posted by venuscat

Yes please honey, talk to your doctor....I felt like the new meds were helping?
Counsellors must not direct you re medication. Not ever.
Sorry for being bossy boots. s xxxxx ❤️