Class of November 2019 Part 2
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi Citrus 
I hesitate to weigh in on the gofundme thing because although I find the whole gofundme alien to me (I don't even do hire purchase) , it seems to be a 'thing' these days.
You can gauge how old fashioned I am by my initial response which was maybe they're saving for a house....
1957 called, Dee... lol
D
I hesitate to weigh in on the gofundme thing because although I find the whole gofundme alien to me (I don't even do hire purchase) , it seems to be a 'thing' these days.
You can gauge how old fashioned I am by my initial response which was maybe they're saving for a house....
1957 called, Dee... lol
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Sorry about your family’s response, Venus. Honestly I’m American and in my 30s and the honeymoon fund thing seems super normal to me. Lots of my friends have done that! I didn’t ask for anything specific when I got married but the majority of gifts we received were cash. I got actual gifts more so for my bridal shower. I think maybe it’s generational and cultural?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
For sure....I should not have started this.
I do appreciate the feedback though.....but now I am going to have a hot shower and wash my family stuff away.
s
Down to more important stuff.....how are all of you? s xx
I do appreciate the feedback though.....but now I am going to have a hot shower and wash my family stuff away.
sDown to more important stuff.....how are all of you?
s xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
.......you all know I am real and honest and mean what I say....that talking about the things we are going through is crucial to healing....so I opened up today and you all helped me, and I took the next step. Called my sister again.
Talk about the wrong end of the stick.....as she just said to me: "oh, you are so far away, of course you didn't know....".
The wedding was lovely and she is not mad at me.....she is devastated by her kid and his new wife.....this is not the way she wanted to be a mother-in-law. She got completely left out of everything, and for a Jewish mum (and lots of mums) that is really hard.
So here is my truth....this 5-year sober recovering alcoholic just spent the entire last week thinking about myself. Wow. Kind of ashamed right now. Also immensely grateful to have people who are willing to listen to me and help me through the difficult stuff.
Talk about the wrong end of the stick.....as she just said to me: "oh, you are so far away, of course you didn't know....".
The wedding was lovely and she is not mad at me.....she is devastated by her kid and his new wife.....this is not the way she wanted to be a mother-in-law. She got completely left out of everything, and for a Jewish mum (and lots of mums) that is really hard.
So here is my truth....this 5-year sober recovering alcoholic just spent the entire last week thinking about myself. Wow. Kind of ashamed right now. Also immensely grateful to have people who are willing to listen to me and help me through the difficult stuff.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,849
I'm so glad you talked to your sister and got everything sorted. Sounded like she needed someone to talk to as well.
I avoid confrontation like the plague and most of the time blow it all up in my mind and it ends up being no big deal.
Thank you for reminding me to confront things before I have myself in a tizzy!
Proud of you dear friend.
I avoid confrontation like the plague and most of the time blow it all up in my mind and it ends up being no big deal.
Thank you for reminding me to confront things before I have myself in a tizzy!
Proud of you dear friend.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Thank you honey.....and YES, this is the lesson. And the reason you have all had to put up with my moaning.
We do not like confronting uncomfortable things/people/situations.....of course not. Who does. But wow....when we get support and go forward and speak our truth....it is very empowering and really makes me SO grateful to be sober. I would not/could not have ever acted this rationally before.....in my old life. s
We do not like confronting uncomfortable things/people/situations.....of course not. Who does. But wow....when we get support and go forward and speak our truth....it is very empowering and really makes me SO grateful to be sober. I would not/could not have ever acted this rationally before.....in my old life.
s
Member
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 38
Venuscat/suz- I’m glad you talked to your sister and you resolved the matter. I’ve spent many a times creating a story in my head instead of not confronting the person that the conflict is with- I’m sorry she’s going through this, though with her son and his new wife.
But, I disagree with you about how you shouldn’t have posted about it- isn’t this site about recovery? And part of that is getting support when you might need it the most, which would be sharing about uncomfortable feelings? Please don’t feel like you shouldn’t have shared.
But, I disagree with you about how you shouldn’t have posted about it- isn’t this site about recovery? And part of that is getting support when you might need it the most, which would be sharing about uncomfortable feelings? Please don’t feel like you shouldn’t have shared.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
My first day in London's over. I'm staying with friends here. I was out tonight. Didn't drink, didn't get stabbed either.
venuscat, I don't live in London but was born, brought up and lived most of my life here. Moved out in 2006.
More stuff to do tomorrow.
Best wishes all.
venuscat, I don't live in London but was born, brought up and lived most of my life here. Moved out in 2006.
More stuff to do tomorrow.
Best wishes all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Recovery doesn't make any of us saints Suze.
Thinking of ourselves is not always a negative thing either - I'm sure that thinking that way was one of the things that started me drinking.
I'm glad you spoke to your sister
Glad you guys are well Misty Citrus SBTS and Tap.
D
Thinking of ourselves is not always a negative thing either - I'm sure that thinking that way was one of the things that started me drinking.
I'm glad you spoke to your sister
Glad you guys are well Misty Citrus SBTS and Tap.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone 
I’m glad you talked to your sister Suze I think many of us have a tendency to overthink things until we’re all worried about the situation. It’s so good to clear the air and get to the real truth rather than get ensnared in our mind’s blown up fabrication of what-if stories. Unfortunately I do it all the time, and most of the time I’ve overanalysed and misinterpreted things and they’re not nearly as bad as I’d thought. I’m trying not to do it, but it’s really hard to stop my mind getting carried away! And I missed you too Suze ❤️
The rescue remedy lozenges are great! I haven’t tried the sleep spray but I think I will....
For anyone struggling to not drink, stick close to SR.
I think that was my downfall when I slipped up and drank again after getting sober. I had slowly drifted off from SR and I got too complacent.
It really does get easier to not drink, and you start to feel so much better. Healthier, more motivated to do things, less anxious, just better in general. It really does get better, so hang in there through the tough days. Sobriety is so much better than drinking!
But then I started to forget how bad it really was when I was drinking. The AV started sneaking little suggestions in to me to drink, telling me I could control it now, and one drink won’t hurt, and I’m cured of it now etc etc, and it sneakily but steadily gained ground until I just gave into it, almost without a fight. It’s very insidious, the AV, and very devious, so we need to stay vigilant and stick close to SR.
That’s my plan going forward, along with lots of nice alternative nonalcoholic drinks at hand (my favourite is cranberry juice with soda water), healthy food, vitamins and gentle regular exercise
And come to SR whenever you’re struggling and even when you’re not. To read or to post, it doesn’t matter. Just come to SR for support. We’re all in the same boat, fighting the same beast.
And together we are stronger!
I’m glad you talked to your sister Suze
I think many of us have a tendency to overthink things until we’re all worried about the situation. It’s so good to clear the air and get to the real truth rather than get ensnared in our mind’s blown up fabrication of what-if stories. Unfortunately I do it all the time, and most of the time I’ve overanalysed and misinterpreted things and they’re not nearly as bad as I’d thought. I’m trying not to do it, but it’s really hard to stop my mind getting carried away! And I missed you too Suze ❤️The rescue remedy lozenges are great! I haven’t tried the sleep spray but I think I will....
For anyone struggling to not drink, stick close to SR.
I think that was my downfall when I slipped up and drank again after getting sober. I had slowly drifted off from SR and I got too complacent.
It really does get easier to not drink, and you start to feel so much better. Healthier, more motivated to do things, less anxious, just better in general. It really does get better, so hang in there through the tough days. Sobriety is so much better than drinking!
But then I started to forget how bad it really was when I was drinking. The AV started sneaking little suggestions in to me to drink, telling me I could control it now, and one drink won’t hurt, and I’m cured of it now etc etc, and it sneakily but steadily gained ground until I just gave into it, almost without a fight. It’s very insidious, the AV, and very devious, so we need to stay vigilant and stick close to SR.
That’s my plan going forward, along with lots of nice alternative nonalcoholic drinks at hand (my favourite is cranberry juice with soda water), healthy food, vitamins and gentle regular exercise
And come to SR whenever you’re struggling and even when you’re not. To read or to post, it doesn’t matter. Just come to SR for support. We’re all in the same boat, fighting the same beast.
And together we are stronger!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
I hear you Willow.....staying connected here is my no 1 sobriety tool. s ❤️
And yes, so important.....recovery does not make us saints.....we are just people trying to muddle through.....but SR gives us help.....with whatever we are going through.
I am very grateful for all of you tonight. s
s ❤️And yes, so important.....recovery does not make us saints.....we are just people trying to muddle through.....but SR gives us help.....with whatever we are going through.
I am very grateful for all of you tonight.
s
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,849
Yes willow sticking close has definitely helped me today. I had that well its Satruday might as well drink thought this morning. So here I have been all afternoon.
I am absolutely terrified this time around that I'd I where to drink I may never stop. And it's making it much easier to tell AV to shut the heck up. I hope I never loose this feeling of horror towards drinking.
I am absolutely terrified this time around that I'd I where to drink I may never stop. And it's making it much easier to tell AV to shut the heck up. I hope I never loose this feeling of horror towards drinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
It gets different and it gets even better Citrus honey. The way I feel about drinking now is like a distant sorrow.....and a reminder that keeps me strong. :I am off to bed with my lovely man, Much love t you all....remember.....we do this together.....talking about our stuff is just so helpful. I know I feel cared about today because I talked about what was happening with me.
Huge hugs. xxx ❤️
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