kk1k5x

It will be very interesting for me to read

I also recognised a few other aspects and wanted to ask, if you experience/have experienced the same:
1) Goal/aim hoarding - "I want to learn this, know how to do this, cook that, learn these 5 languages" etc. All planning, no action.

2) The 'perfect plan' trap - in order for me to do something, I need to have a 'perfect plan': every piece of information (books, workbooks etc), guidelines, preferably also schedules and expected outcomes. So-so many things have remained not done because I never even got around to starting on them....since the plan wasn't 'perfect'

3) major difference between soft and hard deadlines - soft ones are what I want to set (but have extreme difficulty following) and hard ones are those set by others/externally (which I follow, even if it's with the aid of the Panic Monster)

4) Difficulties with plans that run longer than 1-2 weeks (mostly one is enough); ability for repetitive action without instant/quick gratification has diminished, even if my rational brain tells me it is well worth it. That's why 'project management' is a better term for my actions compared to 'time management'. If the deadline is further than 7 days, I'm usually in trouble and can be found procrastinating.

Any of these ring a bell? Or something fairly similar?

kk1k5x

Today was interesting, cooking-wise and here on the thread. I learned important new aspects of my procrastination inclined brain. I should have the book somewhere (Procrastination Equation), so tomorrow I will take a brief moment and try looking for it on the shelves. Most of my books have brown bookpaper covers on them ... but I was too lazy to properly label them. Which makes finding certain books a crapshoot. But that's alright.

Also, over the course of the day, my mind kept going back to the translation issues and, finally, it decided that it has grown tired of thinking circles around it. I have a tendency to get into these 'next worst possible outcome' thought/worry cycles and it's no fun at all. Not to sound too Frozen, but usually when I let it go, that's when things clear up. Essentially, either there will be an offer for translation tomorrow, or Tuesday or some time before Friday, or there won't. And that'll be it. I don't have to think about it anymore than that.

Instead I will focus on the research work and the upcoming meeting with the professor. If work comes in, great, if it doesn't, well then it doesn't. I am absolutely convinced, knowing what I know of the work guy, he wouldn't just so-called ghost me. If things would be final, he'd say they're final. While I wouldn't want them to be final (who would?), if they end up being that way, then I will try to find some other solution. However, if there is an offer for something, then I will try my absolute best to capture 'the mindset' that the work guy was referring to.

Things are or they aren't and whichever it ends up being, that's what I'll work forwards from. And that's the end of it. I won't torture myself with this any longer, because it gets me nowhere.

It started raining quite heavily in the evening here. My resolution of the 'translation dilemma' and the rain and some good food earlier on, have made me quite sleepy.

Off to bed. Hope everyone had a good weekend. I'm very grateful to you Dee, Sao, Tatsy and bim for joining in on the thread. Your support means a lot to me

End of Day 209. I did not drink today.

kk1k5x

Did get some work today. 3 pages worth. I will do it early in the morning tomorrow. It's 8.15pm now, so I am off to sleep and the alarm is set at 4.45am. That'll be enough for translating and thorough review. I will not focus on the money, just the work this time.

I did a couple of pages for an acquiantance, so the day wasn't empty. And I also read my research materials.

But I was preoccupied today. My mother's mood has seemed off for a while now. It was her second day off in a row and she seemed restless. We got to talking and I could hear from her words and delivery as if there was some deep sadness underneath it all. At one point I just asked her "do you feel like you are not needed?" She looked at me, said 'yes' and broke out in tears. I consoled her as best I could. Apparently she's getting pummeled at work, has many insecurities about computers etc and feels like colleagues consider her 'less than'. I told her she has to speak about such things, let them out. She's considering getting help.

Before that break-down occurred, I tried to ask her multiple times why she felt so restless and what is it that she personally wants to do or see happen. And she lacked an answer, which is a red flag with anyone. It is important for me to know that, because I think I can be of help moving forward - I have had to deal with many issues because of my drinking and they only started getting better when I opened up and shared with those who understand.

Later I made burgers. And if things go to plan, I will actually be going to Prague for a weekend in January. Told dear mother that she has to clean her brain of all that work and nasty co-workers **** and just let it hang out somewhere. I think it's a good plan, can be executed quite cheaply and, I hope, will go a long way in getting her back to a better place. It's what Italy did for me. Right now the cheap ticket prices are frozen for 48 hours, she'll know tomorrow if it's a green light.

If I would suggest something to everyone tonight, it would be "call a parent or a sibling or a friend" and just ask them how they are and wish them well.

End of Day 210. I did not drink today.

kk1k5x

I am very tired today. Try to keep it short.

Woke up at 3.30am because I translation deadline was at 9 and I wanted to really 'work' on it. It ended up being good - no negative feedback, just some questions about word choices, which I explained alright.

After that I had to get on a bus and go to the city, meeting with the professor and then the PhD administrator who does all the important nitty-gritty with schedules, courses and documents. Both went well and I think this project I have with the professor is going to be very cool in the end (beginning of Feb).

Before I got on the bus back home, I stopped by a supermarket chain store (which we also have in my town) to buy some Christmas gifts for the home - an oven pan and an oven pot. I had collected stickers and got good cookingware for a very low price. Can't wait to make some stew or something. Or slowcooked pork or beef. I mean, the options are so many!

I also got some more work that I need to finish by noon Friday. I will take tonight off and get to it first thing in the morning. I'm probably going to fall asleep soon anyways. I feel like maybe today I got a slightly better sense of that 'mindset' I must adopt in order to improve my translations. Tomorrow I'll try it again.

Additionally, it's confirmed that I will be spending a weekend in Prague in January. Very cool. Another European capital city I can cross off my list of "before I turn 35"

The world seems better again.

End of Day 211. I did not drink today.

saoutchik

Congratulations on getting a visit to Prague, it is fantastic city at any time of the year.

Defenestration capital of the world I believe.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defe...ions_of_Prague

biminiblue

Sao, you're a weirdo.

I say that with love.

kk1k5x

Sao, I managed to book a room in a hotel 50m from the Old Town Square for a very low price. The building was constructed in the 14th century. I am sure that building has seen some ....engagements in the popular Czech pastime.

saoutchik

Nice one kk! You'll love Prague. I first went there as a youngster when it was still part of the Warsaw Pact, it was very atmospheric
then, and amazingly cheap.

You only just noticed bim?

kk1k5x

A long work day. An even longer one waiting for me tomorrow, so I need to sleep bad. Just managed 6 pages of 19 today. Ugh, tired.

The highlight of the day was using my new clay oven pot to make chicken. Mixing the cooking juices with a bit of cream was the best sauce I think I've ever had.

Hope everyone had a productive day. (Turns out I'm so tired, I actually pressed Ctrl+S instead of clicking on the post quick reply button to submit the post lol)

End of Day 212. I did not drink today.

kk1k5x

Today was a long one. I managed 12 pages, which leave only 2 for tomorrow and means I can actually get a proper sleep tonight

I smirked this morning at the fact that most of my discomfort about this translation was derived from a naive assumption that one Has to get some sleep. It never occurred to me that you could also go without :P I guess that motivated me to keep going, in the hopes that sleep will be an option. And it is!

I think tomorrow night I'll make pork ribs with sweet chili marinade. Make them sticky, I say.

Hope everyone had a productive one There was talk of even more work coming in tomorrow, I guess I'll have to work and see (no waiting lol).

End of Day 213. I did not drink today.

Dee74

getting sleep is better than not getting sleep tho - congrats on the work kk1k.

Fusion

Kk, sorry, I meant to respond to the procrastination issue.....but I put it off.

But seriously, we mentioned different types, the deadline type is easily sorted, my forte, working late or through the nights.

The non-deadline type? I use rewards. Pick something I do as down time, for you I guess that would be watching TV? Then, I set an anti-procrastination rule, that I am not allowed to (for instance) watch TV until I've completed my procrastination list for that day.

Simplistic, I realise, but it works for me. It can work in chunks too, tick something off the list, then TV, then tick something else off, then TV. So leisure time becomes a reward for performing stuff I'd usually put off, by doing "undeserved"leisure time!

Your Prague trip sounds brilliant.

saoutchik

Well done on your productive day kk.



I always start my working day by doing the task I least want to do so that the next one seems better.

kk1k5x

That's true, Dee. I did get some sleep, but it was restless. I was up and at it again at 5.30am this morning.

Tatsy, first I didn't get the joke haha then it hit me. I put off getting the joke. And thank you very much for the practical tips - I have, at times, done something similar. There's this fairly silly computer game that I like (for the purpose of this statement, let's consider it as 'filling the role of Solitaire'), so what I did was ...translate 3-4 segments or whatever was 1% of what I needed to get done, then 'play a match' or 3 which take 30 seconds each, then go back to translating. Work, reward, work again etc. Did you get your desktop yet?

Hah Sao - that's actually a very good habit to have. I can't remember who the guy was that said "If you have to eat a frog, there's no point in looking at it for hours beforehand. And if you have to eat 3, don't start with the smallest one". Good points (difficult to implement for a career procrastinator).

The Procrastinator: "I'll be back ....after I do that other less important thing first".

I haven't been feeling well today. I started early in the morning, was done with the translation at 10, then some corrections and it was done before noon. The more energy I put into the translations, the better they become. But then the rest of the afternoon was a bit of a haze, with some slowburning headache and general tiredness going on. I ended up sleeping a good two hours. That cleared up most of it, but not all of it. At least it's better now

Today I got another 32 pages to be completed by Tuesday morning. There goeth the weekend. I was really tired (and, as I said, feeling off) when I accepted the two texts - one shorter, one longer - but there's a possibility of a quiet period happening right before and quite a bit after the upcoming holidays, so I best put in all the effort I can now.

I will do my research work - which is becoming more urgent due to the massive quantities of data and a Feb deadline - during the holidays. As a treat of sorts Since the professor is also (always) really busy, she had some gallows humour for me in the form of "well, when the deadline gets really close, I'm sure we'll mobilise". I am really grateful to have her as my supervisor and I am really grateful for being able to work

I'm also grateful for all of your replies and banter!

I took tonight for myself, just to rest up and prep myself for what's gonna be happening during the next three days.

The sticky ribs are in the oven. Shouldn't be much longer now ...

End of Day 214. I did not drink today.

Fusion

Gosh Kk, you have a busy few days ahead, which is great for the bank account, but a tad draining for you. I'm sorry you're feeling unwell. Are you eating and hydrating adequately, walking in the daylight, taking a multivitamin?

Sticky ribs....oh my, sounds far tastier than my evening meal of steamed potatoes and sprouts, plus chicken!

I like the sound of your professor, I'm glad you're maybe following her advice regarding the deadline and mobilisation...I hope?

Day 214: how wonderful is that. Very well done indeed, Kk.

kk1k5x

The days will definitely be busy, but I will will myself through. I definitely need the money, for the trip and for general purposes. It's difficult to take on more work when you're already feeling tired - it's like you just finished a race and need to start one again almost immediately.

Btw, the ribs were excellent! And I like your veggies and chicken option, sounds clean and healthy. I'm a glutton, I know.

I like my professor, too. I like her as a human and I'd like to follow her steps and advice in the professional sense. People who remain human under such immense pressure, are productive, but still able to smile, make jokes ... they are important role models for me. 'Courage under fire' comes in very different forms and that's one I'd like to emulate.

It's actually the same with the work guy. Yes, I might complain (if I'm actually at fault for some error), but in essence - his precision and thoroughness are things to look up to and learn from and incorporate into how I carry myself and how I approach my work.

I'm taking D-vitamin still and tomorrow I will space my work with short walks. I just have to keep the mind clear(er) somehow and put in the big work on the weekend, so I wouldn't feel completely mortified come Monday - i.e. hoping that good effort tomorrow and Sun would result in a bit less work on Monday. But I'll have to see how it all pans out.

Right now, I'm still enjoying my evening. Belly pleasantly full of rice and ribs. Discovered (totally random) a good mocktail that I've made a couple of times here - cranberry juice and that sparkling mineral water I like so much. Excellent refreshment It's interesting, because the mineral water is actually a bit salty, but it goes really well with that slight bitterness you get with cranberries. So it's good taste, bubbles but it's not sugary like straight-up fizzy drinks. You might want to try!

Enjoy your Fridays! (even if it is ...the 13th *spooky music*)

saoutchik

Well done on all the effort you are putting in kk. Earning a few bucks is good for our self esteem I think. It shouldn't be but it is.

I have one of those sodastream things because I drink so much fizzy water since I quit booze. As a side benefit it eliminates the plastic waste as well as the cost of the fizzy stuff.

Are you mobilised yet?

kk1k5x

Thanks Sao

Yeah, well if it's going to be (or it might be) quiet for weeks then I simply need money for daily stuff. Guess if I'd been just a little bit more tired when accepting the works, I would have only taken the longer one and left the other.

But I finished the shorter work today and managed to also to 1.5 of the longer one. So I'm at a touch more than a third done. This more or less agrees with my goal of finishing before midnight on Monday.

I am completely toast, too. The last thing I did was find (what I think is) an important document for the longer work. I ended tonight with my wires crossed about a specific section in the very beginning of the new file, but the documents I found should clear that up. When I saw that difficult section, i.e. section that I don't immediately understand or know what to look for elsewhere, I did like a mental welp along with "Please don't be this way, please don't be this way". Because the start of the document was very promising

Anyways, as you can see, work has not left my brain yet, so I need to unwind and go to sleep.

I like the idea of a fizzy-drink-maker. The host family that I stayed with in the US had one. Their fridge also had an ice-maker. 'Murica. I loved it.

The mobilisation was just dark humour :P I think the professor will have time somewhere in January and I'll get my thing going when Christmas comes. If the writing starts a week before February, I think we'll be quite alright.

Off to bed now, another long day awaits me tomorrow. Hope everyone a had good day

End of Day 215. I did not drink today.

Fusion

Ribs look scrumptious, Kk! For the first winter ever, I started taking a Vit D supplement a couple of months ago. Although I walk outdoors often and daily, my skin's covered in multiple clothing layers due to the cold and inclement weather, so I don't generate my own Vit D. I'm not sure whether it's due to the supplement, or psychosomatic, but I certainly feel more perky than previous winters.

kk1k5x

I think I felt like a little bump after I started taking vit D on the doctor's orders. I do take it, but not religiously (read: I just forget - but for example reading your post, Tatsy, reminded me and at least today I have ).

When I read a bit about vit D when I started taking, it said that about 20% of it should come from food and 80% from sunshine. Well, that's impossible where I live in a very literal sense. Even if you have no place you have to be and spend the entire day outside, there's so little sun here in wintertime that it wouldn't work out. And if you do have a place you have to be at, then it's basically impossible - when you leave in the morning, spend the day indoors and start back home - then both times you're on the move, it's dark outside :P So, a vit D supplement at certain latitudes is probably a necessity to keep that side of things on average functionality.

I HIT MY MARK TODAY! I just wanted to shout that out. While there's obviously still plenty of work to do tomorrow, today was a productive day. I did about 12 pages today and there's now just about 5.5 left for tomorrow. My work day was from 9am to 11pm on this fair Sunday. I know people know what the sensation is like when you've spent an entire day working towards something and then actually manage it. The feeling is subtle but oh-so-sweet. Currently, it feels like that part in Savage Garden's "Truly, Madly, Deeply" where they do the quiet harmony on the lyrics "be everything you need". Not sure why this particular spot in this particular song came to mind, but if you listen to it, you'll get it. The fact of the harmony is a subtle change, but it makes all the difference - I guess that's what I was shooting for in my description.

Right now, Spotify is treating me to Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven Is a Place on Earth". Excellent stuff. For lunch today I had pea and smoked beef soup. That was so good and there's still a bowl left for tomorrow, too.

Today I feel like I've really 'done something', something small in the grand scheme of things, but still positive and of personal importance.

Hope everyone had a good, personally fulfilling day

Sao, have you continued on with Ray Donovan?

Good night (off to watch/scroll through last night's hockey and basketball)

End of Day 216. I did not drink today.