Mags1

Rose, talking about going for a walk reminded me of being sober and able to drive any time. I loved that freedom of being able to drive without wondering if I was over limit from the day before.

For me, being sober set me free to live again. Or learn to live again, differently.

ManInTheArena

Checking in with my Under friends

Things are a little hectic, but going as well as can be expected. Just a little more stuff going on than usual ... all good. Trying to keep an even keel - I'm not quite 4 months into this latest effort, but I'm pretty happy about where I'm at. Still, it's early days for sure and I still get the AV/craving/itch from time to time. I enjoy my sober mornings so much though, and really the rest of the day too. My last relapse was a little bit of hell - no desire to go back there. Ever!!

Hope everyone is having a good day

ManInTheArena

Rose and Mags, being able to go out for a walk or a drive are huge. Drinking is such an isolating thing - for me anyway. That's no way to try and live!

tootsl1

It doesn't hurt to keep in mind the effect that PAWS can have early in sobriety, some symptoms that we might blame on other things may actually be related directly to this.

https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/

Also,for anyone interested in furthering their education - for free!- you can access 'coursera' for a multitude of different courses in many different subjects. What turned me onto it is someone mentioned here that they ran a course called 'The Addicted Brain' which shows how the brain is affected by different addictions. I found it fascinating and helpful in understanding my own mental and psychological changes in the first year of sobriety.

I will be asking questions later!

jimmyJlover

Stopping in. Things are good right now. Working on an ice-cream addiction now. Seems I really took to the pints of mint choc chip over the last few months LOL.

ManInTheArena

Funny coincidence. I had a pretty good day yesterday and decided to indulge with a little Haagen- Dazs. Isn’t ice cream wonderful

Rose335

Good evening Under chums - all well here although very busy week mostly in the company of a 2 year old who feels (correctly) that she is entirely in control of what I chose to do!

MITA - we must have similar stsrt dates because I am also close to 4 months sober. Just under two weeks to go.

toots - as it happens I did look up PAWS quite recently because I had a couple of quite crushingly down days that seemed to come from nowhere. Just a couple of chance comments people made that I chose to construe strangely and which led to a downward spiral. I think it must have been that: certainly I recognised the symptoms that the website described. I'm OK again now I'm relieved to say and I even had a day of feeling unusually happy but I shall remember PAWS next time I find myself in a strange slough of despond.

Jimmy - hey there are worse things than ice cream addiction (as we all know!

Mags - totally agree about the relief of driving just knowing that there is no way at all that I can be under the Influence!

jimmyJlover

It's pretty good! You know, it served as good crutch the first few months for down time in the evening. I eat fairly healthy otherwise, so just kind of went with it. I'm down to about 1-2 times a week so not that bad I guess.

It's good to see some action on this thread. Stay sober my friends.

Mags1

Morning Unders

It’s dark here being nearly 6.30am. I just heard a clatter outside and there was a large hedgehog finishing off stray cats food! Boy they can move when they want.

Did someone say ice cream, my favourite treat!

Toots I did a Coursera course ‘the addictive brain’ very interesting. I keep saying I’ll do another one day.

ManInTheArena

Hey Unders. I'm enjoying a nice Sunday afternoon here. I hope everyone is having a good day/evening. I've been getting back in the gym pretty regularly and doing okay for an old guy, but today is rest day. Leave tomorrow for a full week of business travel.

Rose, I'll be back at 4 months on the 19th. I've been making attempts at being sober since January of 2013. I can usually make the 3 - 4 month mark (once I think I made 6 months), but have had trouble getting past that. The bad drinking memories fade and I lose my focus. I think I've learned a few things over the years, and I'm feeling positive about continued/lifelong sobriety. The last few relapses were extremely bad - actually a little scary. I'm not sure I can handle another and sober life is looking better each day

Mags, I know that both Harvard and MIT offer some of their courses for free over the internet. I'm not sure if they have anything specifically related to addiction, but if you're looking for a little brain boost those are both good options!!

tootsl1

MITA it is such a common story being able to manage a month or a few months before bad memories fade and we try to convince ourselves that our relationship with alcohol is or could be a happy one. Like any addiction though, ultimately, if we continue we lose. I'm so glad you are here and working towards long term sobriety. Having healthy pursuits like the gym to focus on is no bad thing. (Neither is a minor ice cream addiction in the early days, in my book!!!)

Mags1

MITA, it can be easy to think we got it sorted and can drink like a normie. If I ever had those thoughts I used my ‘super duper’ recovery tool ‘play the tape’ that grounded me for sure.

Thanks for the course info.

stargazer016

It's been a while since I swung by here. This thread was a huge help in my first year and am glad to see that it is still going.

I think ice cream is a major go to in early sobriety. I definitely craved sweets after quitting drinking. We ingested a lot of sugars drinking, so the body naturally craves sweets a bit. Much better to have an ice cream habit than a drinking habit!

Purps, the concert thing can be difficult at first. Concerts were an all day and all night event for me in the day. Now I wish that I could just be teleported into my seat when the lights go down and teleported out after the encore. Others partying in the lot don't bother me as much now. It was me most of my life.

You all are doing great. Remember, it's really one day at a time, or one hour at a time, or one thought at a time. Breaking it down to manageable increments makes things feel easier sometimes.

Canadian Koala

"Playing the tape forward" still kills any seduction attempts from my AV.
I have only horrible endings on that tape and absolutly no happy ending in the last 15 years. Not a single one.

Have a good day Undies, I'm with you on this

Rose335

It's true what CK says: no happy ending at all for me (us?) if I pick up a glass. Slightly frustratingly, that doesn't stop me romanticising wine surprisingly often although right now I can get beyond that notion and see the reality.

The biggest difference in my decision to stop drinking this time (apart from joining SR which has been a game changer for me) is that I keep drilling it into myself that it's the first glass that counts. Nothing else matters. Obviously I've heard that said many times but I don't think I quite took it in. My ambition this time is to really internalise that message. And I'm very superstitious about never moving from my ODAAT mindset! .

MITA - I had my last drink in Friday 21st June so we really are practically sober twins! That's nice to know.

Thanks for your encouragement, stargazer. And the same to toots and Mags, as always. You are both stalwarts on that front and it is appreciated.

Ice cream is not my downfall. Cakes absolutely are. I'll work on that in due course.

tootsl1

Definitely in fighting the addiction - first the drink, theeeen the diet! I still probably eat more unhealthily than I used to but am more active to make up for it.

SR was the game changer for me - meeting people for the first time who understood me and didn't judge, who just offered support and practical help!

Realising that it's the first drink that does the damage is also a biggie, because being realistic I could never happily stop at one. Sure I could grudgingly stop if I had to ( if everyone else did - normies of course,- or if I was trying to prove my self control) but it never lasted, as I was still thinking of drinking. I wasn't like those glowing sophisticates you see on Christmas drink ads, I would always end up a hot mess.

ManInTheArena

Ah yes, the one drink/first drink thing. For the most part, the only times I was able to have just one or two drinks were those occasions when I had a bad hangover and needed one or two to steady myself. Otherwise, I pretty much drink everything. Until it’s all gone. Ugh - I shudder.

Rose - a sober twin- I like that.

One more day of work travel, then I fly home tomorrow. I am getting too old for this

Rose335

MITA - I know. It was literally impossible for me to open a bottle of wine without drinkng the whole bottle. Down. To. The. Last. Dregs. And in a very short space of time at that. Glowing sophisticate - to quote toots - I was not! Definitely don't want to go back to those days. Nice that you'll be heading home tomorrow.

Mags1

I agree with toots, SR changed my life, helped me in recovery. I didn’t understand recovery until I joined SR and read posts and threads from people like me, who ‘got’ me.

A friend said to me a while back ‘surely you can have a drink or two’ now, as if I was cured. I don’t want to drink I told her.

I didn’t explain as, being a normie, she wouldn’t understand me. She’d forgotten the hundreds of times I rang her when I was drunk to talk about who knows what. (I cringe at the way I was even now). I’m pleased I’m not that person anymore who needs and wants a drink.

I’m still here every day on SR. Why?, you ask. Because while I have no desire to drink, I hope I can help others who think it’s hopeless and think they’ll never be able to stop. Toots, myself, Dee and many many more are here and also happy in our sobriety. I’ll never take my sobriety for granted and always be grateful.

It can be done. If you want sobriety, it will happen with the right tools for you.

ManInTheArena

This has been a big part for me. I think it has taken me some time to understand what recovery really is ... I think first I had to learn what my addiction really was, so now I think I have a better chance of collecting the tools I need to be successful in recovery. And SR is a wonderful place - I am here a lot lately!!