24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 457
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Off the beaten track, UK
Posts: 812
I need another 24 please.
I love reading through this thread and seeing how everyone is getting on. Everyone has a different journey but it’s nice to have a little window into the daily ups and downs that life brings.
I’m very much more down than up at the moment. I finished work at 6 tonight, went to a well known fast food outlet for supper, drove around for an hour because I don’t like going home. (Well, to my parent’s house. This isn’t home).
It’s been 9 months since I saw my children and ex partner, haven’t even spoken on the telephone.
I’ve sent a few letters which have been returned by her solicitor.
I guess I need to resign myself to the fact that our relationship is well and truly over. She put up with as much as she could and needs to protect herself.
At the moment I’m stuck in a mental loop, thinking of her with someone else, moving on, the children getting to know another man in their life. So many painful things.
Fear and jealousy are high on my list at the moment and I hate them both.
I feel like I’ll never be “enough “. Like nothing I can do will ever make me loveable, or trustworthy, or worthy.
It’s really hard to sit with these feelings but I know I must. No amount of self help literature or motivational quotes can change the past, or undo the harm and pain I’ve caused. It’s tough being just a few miles from my children and the place I still unconsciously regard as “home “ and not being able to be near them.
I’m in bed now, feeling really isolated and crappy.
I’ve got a lot to be grateful for, I was paid today, have money in the bank, my car is legal and insured, I’ve paid my board to my mother.
I’ve got a good job, some nice material things, all sorts of stuff be grateful for.
I’m sober, nearly 1 year clean from cocaine, and all this stuff hurts me deeply.
I’m working in the morning, the money is nice and it keeps me out of my head a bit. Come to dread saturdays as I know that as soon as I finish work and get in the car, the feeling of isolation will descend like a blanket again.
Sorry for the long post and negativity. I’m sad, right to the very centre of my being, and I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.
Wishing peace and love from a slightly chilly midlands of the uk. At least I know that sleep will take me soon. Hoping for a nice dream.
I love reading through this thread and seeing how everyone is getting on. Everyone has a different journey but it’s nice to have a little window into the daily ups and downs that life brings.
I’m very much more down than up at the moment. I finished work at 6 tonight, went to a well known fast food outlet for supper, drove around for an hour because I don’t like going home. (Well, to my parent’s house. This isn’t home).
It’s been 9 months since I saw my children and ex partner, haven’t even spoken on the telephone.
I’ve sent a few letters which have been returned by her solicitor.
I guess I need to resign myself to the fact that our relationship is well and truly over. She put up with as much as she could and needs to protect herself.
At the moment I’m stuck in a mental loop, thinking of her with someone else, moving on, the children getting to know another man in their life. So many painful things.
Fear and jealousy are high on my list at the moment and I hate them both.
I feel like I’ll never be “enough “. Like nothing I can do will ever make me loveable, or trustworthy, or worthy.
It’s really hard to sit with these feelings but I know I must. No amount of self help literature or motivational quotes can change the past, or undo the harm and pain I’ve caused. It’s tough being just a few miles from my children and the place I still unconsciously regard as “home “ and not being able to be near them.
I’m in bed now, feeling really isolated and crappy.
I’ve got a lot to be grateful for, I was paid today, have money in the bank, my car is legal and insured, I’ve paid my board to my mother.
I’ve got a good job, some nice material things, all sorts of stuff be grateful for.
I’m sober, nearly 1 year clean from cocaine, and all this stuff hurts me deeply.
I’m working in the morning, the money is nice and it keeps me out of my head a bit. Come to dread saturdays as I know that as soon as I finish work and get in the car, the feeling of isolation will descend like a blanket again.
Sorry for the long post and negativity. I’m sad, right to the very centre of my being, and I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.
Wishing peace and love from a slightly chilly midlands of the uk. At least I know that sleep will take me soon. Hoping for a nice dream.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
No need for sorrys James....we want to hear everything you want to say. 
s
Yes, you may have to accept some very hard stuff here, and I am heartbroken with you. s
In time, legally, your wife will have to let you see the boys.....you need to make sure you have a good representative who is documenting your sober time, program participation and job success/stability.
You may not get her back. I know this can feel like the end of the world....I really do. But please try to let go of the images in your mind of her with someone else....that is crazy-making stuff that can lead nowhere good. s
She is more than likely just concentrating on your kids and making her way in the world as a single mum. s
Can you not do something after work tomorrow instead of going home?
Maybe a nice dinner and a movie?
Or a meeting and coffee afterwards?
More love.....off to water my menagerie of plants.
xx ♥
sYes, you may have to accept some very hard stuff here, and I am heartbroken with you.
s In time, legally, your wife will have to let you see the boys.....you need to make sure you have a good representative who is documenting your sober time, program participation and job success/stability.
You may not get her back. I know this can feel like the end of the world....I really do. But please try to let go of the images in your mind of her with someone else....that is crazy-making stuff that can lead nowhere good.
sShe is more than likely just concentrating on your kids and making her way in the world as a single mum.
sCan you not do something after work tomorrow instead of going home?
Maybe a nice dinner and a movie?
Or a meeting and coffee afterwards?
More love.....off to water my menagerie of plants.
xx ♥
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by NoGoingBack 
I need another 24 please.
I love reading through this thread and seeing how everyone is getting on. Everyone has a different journey but it’s nice to have a little window into the daily ups and downs that life brings.
I’m very much more down than up at the moment. I finished work at 6 tonight, went to a well known fast food outlet for supper, drove around for an hour because I don’t like going home. (Well, to my parent’s house. This isn’t home).
It’s been 9 months since I saw my children and ex partner, haven’t even spoken on the telephone.
I’ve sent a few letters which have been returned by her solicitor.
I guess I need to resign myself to the fact that our relationship is well and truly over. She put up with as much as she could and needs to protect herself.
At the moment I’m stuck in a mental loop, thinking of her with someone else, moving on, the children getting to know another man in their life. So many painful things.
Fear and jealousy are high on my list at the moment and I hate them both.
I feel like I’ll never be “enough “. Like nothing I can do will ever make me loveable, or trustworthy, or worthy.
It’s really hard to sit with these feelings but I know I must. No amount of self help literature or motivational quotes can change the past, or undo the harm and pain I’ve caused. It’s tough being just a few miles from my children and the place I still unconsciously regard as “home “ and not being able to be near them.
I’m in bed now, feeling really isolated and crappy.
I’ve got a lot to be grateful for, I was paid today, have money in the bank, my car is legal and insured, I’ve paid my board to my mother.
I’ve got a good job, some nice material things, all sorts of stuff be grateful for.
I’m sober, nearly 1 year clean from cocaine, and all this stuff hurts me deeply.
I’m working in the morning, the money is nice and it keeps me out of my head a bit. Come to dread saturdays as I know that as soon as I finish work and get in the car, the feeling of isolation will descend like a blanket again.
Sorry for the long post and negativity. I’m sad, right to the very centre of my being, and I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.
Wishing peace and love from a slightly chilly midlands of the uk. At least I know that sleep will take me soon. Hoping for a nice dream.
I love reading through this thread and seeing how everyone is getting on. Everyone has a different journey but it’s nice to have a little window into the daily ups and downs that life brings.
I’m very much more down than up at the moment. I finished work at 6 tonight, went to a well known fast food outlet for supper, drove around for an hour because I don’t like going home. (Well, to my parent’s house. This isn’t home).
It’s been 9 months since I saw my children and ex partner, haven’t even spoken on the telephone.
I’ve sent a few letters which have been returned by her solicitor.
I guess I need to resign myself to the fact that our relationship is well and truly over. She put up with as much as she could and needs to protect herself.
At the moment I’m stuck in a mental loop, thinking of her with someone else, moving on, the children getting to know another man in their life. So many painful things.
Fear and jealousy are high on my list at the moment and I hate them both.
I feel like I’ll never be “enough “. Like nothing I can do will ever make me loveable, or trustworthy, or worthy.
It’s really hard to sit with these feelings but I know I must. No amount of self help literature or motivational quotes can change the past, or undo the harm and pain I’ve caused. It’s tough being just a few miles from my children and the place I still unconsciously regard as “home “ and not being able to be near them.
I’m in bed now, feeling really isolated and crappy.
I’ve got a lot to be grateful for, I was paid today, have money in the bank, my car is legal and insured, I’ve paid my board to my mother.
I’ve got a good job, some nice material things, all sorts of stuff be grateful for.
I’m sober, nearly 1 year clean from cocaine, and all this stuff hurts me deeply.
I’m working in the morning, the money is nice and it keeps me out of my head a bit. Come to dread saturdays as I know that as soon as I finish work and get in the car, the feeling of isolation will descend like a blanket again.
Sorry for the long post and negativity. I’m sad, right to the very centre of my being, and I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.
Wishing peace and love from a slightly chilly midlands of the uk. At least I know that sleep will take me soon. Hoping for a nice dream.
Emotional issues can be very draining.
Can you get access to the kids?
Where relationships can't be restored some compromise may help.
Jealousy and resentment, while perfectly natural, can worsen the whole scenario, especially if prolonged.
Nothing endures except change and things can get better......
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Massive congrats on the birth of your second grandchild Crossyourheart!! Wonderful news. And congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. I'm super excited about tomorrow morning. I'm taking part in a zombie apocolypse run. Basically I have to run 10k whilst being chased by zombies. And these zombies aren't the slow, shuffling kind you see in the Walking Dead, some of them are really fast. I did it last year and it's so much fun. It feels like being a kid again. So that's what I'll be up to tomorrow. Just hope it doesn't rain. I don't mind running in the rain but it will be a shame for the zombies if their make up runs. They make such an effort with their costumes, bless them. Hope everyone is ok. Stay strong James, this time will pass. And as long as you stay sober, this difficult time will become a stepping stone towards a bright, happy future. And future James will look back at present-day James and be so darn grateful that you got through all these tough days. You're doing awesome btw. Love to everyone and 24 more for me please xxxx
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Thank you again abc for a mama Joyce quote! That’s what’s always attracted me to her teaching since mid 90’s-what you see is what you get & her no nonsense boldness is what I’ve always needed. Btw, she’s still cute in her late seventies
Grateful for your encouragement MsV bout me going to grad sch!! I’d love to do accounting & close second would be I.T
My first day @ new temp job was brutal; bones were essentially screaming @ me why all of a sudden I was working again! The little thing I struggle with is doing a job standing in the same position all day, but I’ll adjust hopefully by tomorrow or Sun tops. Requesting 24 mo of pain relief pls
Grateful for your encouragement MsV bout me going to grad sch!! I’d love to do accounting & close second would be I.T
My first day @ new temp job was brutal; bones were essentially screaming @ me why all of a sudden I was working again! The little thing I struggle with is doing a job standing in the same position all day, but I’ll adjust hopefully by tomorrow or Sun tops. Requesting 24 mo of pain relief pls
Let us know how it goes Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
Originally Posted by 1newcreation
Thank you again abc for a mama Joyce quote! That’s what’s always attracted me to her teaching since mid 90’s-what you see is what you get & her no nonsense boldness is what I’ve always needed. Btw, she’s still cute in her late seventies
Grateful for your encouragement MsV bout me going to grad sch!! I’d love to do accounting & close second would be I.T
My first day @ new temp job was brutal; bones were essentially screaming @ me why all of a sudden I was working again! The little thing I struggle with is doing a job standing in the same position all day, but I’ll adjust hopefully by tomorrow or Sun tops. Requesting 24 mo of pain relief pls
Grateful for your encouragement MsV bout me going to grad sch!! I’d love to do accounting & close second would be I.T
My first day @ new temp job was brutal; bones were essentially screaming @ me why all of a sudden I was working again! The little thing I struggle with is doing a job standing in the same position all day, but I’ll adjust hopefully by tomorrow or Sun tops. Requesting 24 mo of pain relief pls
sAccounting or IT.....either will be perfect for lots of work in our world today.
How are you going to choose? ♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,493
Originally Posted by Babs1234
24 more here too please
had a disagreement with hubby---
waiting for tomorrow---it always gets worse at night.
Babs
had a disagreement with hubby---
waiting for tomorrow---it always gets worse at night.
Babs
s xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ♥♥♥And hello Upstairs and Whopper.
♥♥♥
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 890
24 More is the Plan of the Day (Night)!!!!
Busy Busy as Always, Never enough time in the day! Garage is COMPLETELY EMPTIED! New storage Cabinets, Garage Doors, Openers, Tool Boxes, Air Compressor etc. Tons of stuff thrown out! Everything organized and in its place, out of sight except the large tools like table saws etc.
Been cleaning/organizing for 2 weeks. Then as I said started emptying it ALL OUT into a Storage POD! Finally getting the Garage Floor Coated. Been wanting to do that forever! One of the few jobs I am not doing myself. Then it all goes back in and I am installing a new garage FURNACE AND HVAC UNIT!
Yippee!
I get a LOT more done NOT DRINKING!
Have a good one everybody!
Busy Busy as Always, Never enough time in the day! Garage is COMPLETELY EMPTIED! New storage Cabinets, Garage Doors, Openers, Tool Boxes, Air Compressor etc. Tons of stuff thrown out! Everything organized and in its place, out of sight except the large tools like table saws etc.
Been cleaning/organizing for 2 weeks. Then as I said started emptying it ALL OUT into a Storage POD! Finally getting the Garage Floor Coated. Been wanting to do that forever! One of the few jobs I am not doing myself. Then it all goes back in and I am installing a new garage FURNACE AND HVAC UNIT!
Yippee!
I get a LOT more done NOT DRINKING!
Have a good one everybody!
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