Bekindalways

Trailing along into Friday here.

I did keep up the yoga and meditation for a few days but it has kind of dropped off as I changed situations. I did do about 30 min of yoga yesterday and 20 min this morning.

Today, I'm hoping to go through some mail, work on the petticoat and take my Dad to an assisted living place that he could possibly move into.

Ayers

saturday morning

Hello , all of you !

These end of the month weeks are always hectic, work wise. Glad this one is over . Now I can relax - until the next one

Spring is officially here. It never ceases to amaze me - seeing fresh, new buds where a week ago there was nothing. Chartreuse green they call it, if I'm correct. I have a LOT of Cape May shrubs in my garden - sort of towards the back of the beds. They are mostly non descript - just fillers - BUT , in Spring they erupt into white , cloudy masses - it takes my breath away without fail every single year. And lifts my spirit to new hights.

Having so much fun with my diffuser . I love all the essential oil fragrances. But now my husband has developed definite signs of some sort of allergy . He gets it the minute he comes home. I blame it on the cats but suppose it might be my coveted diffuser. Bummer

Going to nursery today to buy some plant gifts for my friend - had her bday during the week - they live on a small holding . Then taking it to her tomorrow and .... wait for it ... going to help her bottle feed 15 little lambs !!!! I cannot wait.

Have a great day today , my friends , grab it by the you know what and make the most of it.

Had a laugh at this : " Surely not EVERYbody was Kung Fu Fighting?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

mns1

Still here. Had a really busy week with school starting.

Cravings seem to be dying down finally and just surpassed eight months sober on Thursday.

So glad August is over today. It really is one of my least favorite months of the year. Ready for autumn here in the U.S. northeast.

Happy Saturday everyone

Bekindalways

Hi all,

Ayers, I would so so love to be feeding lambs with you. Also I love spring. Winter I'm okay with for about a day . . . .sigh. Wierd how most of us have a different reaction to seasons. Mike do you not like August as you don't like heat? Or is it something else? I know autumn in North East US is amazing.

Well I'm off to do some yoga and perhaps some meditation . . . man oh man can I fall out of good habits fast.

Sunflower84

mns1

It’s a few things Bekind. For one, it’s always been my roughest month in terms of drinking. Any time I’ve tried to get and stay sober before, this has been the time if year I just couldn’t make it past. I also have IBD and that has always tended to act up around mid-summer, although it thankfully hasn’t this year (hmm, wonder if the sobriety has something to do with that?). Heat is definitely part of it too. It’s kind of the part of the summer where it’s been pretty hot outside for several months, we’ve had several brutal heatwaves, and I just get sick of it. But that happens in the winter too. I initially like the cooler weather starting in November, but by February I am sick of it and ready for spring. I don’t really get sick of spring or fall the way I do summer and winter because they aren’t extremely hot or cold. But fall is by far my favorite. The temperature, the colors, pumpkin spice coffee, I love all of it!

Bekindalways

Thanks for the explanation Mike and welcome to September. May your cravings lighten up and your determination redouble

I get the liking fall and spring. They really are great . . . .hmmm . . . . except for in the mountains Spring isn't great. Lots of gross stuff melts out from under the snow and there is tons of mud. Also it can still have huge snowstorms.

It is a scorcher here. I went to mass with my Dad and almost kind of enjoyed it. We went early and I liked visiting with people.

So now off to do some yoga, draft an email and text my cousin.

Stay the course all.

Ayers

Monday morning

Mike I get it, you prefer temperate seasons. Hope this Fall brings you joy and serenity.

I had a wonderful day , going to the nursery to buy some plants for my friend ( and one or two for myself ) and bottle feeding those teensy weensy lambs. These are all part of twins , of which the ewe abandoned one. She, my friend, then takes them and raises them. Tiny wagging tails, short curly fleece - awww man , they are darling. Once the bottle is empty, they go for your fingers and suck on them. I really wanted to bring one home and cuddle on the couch with it.

Cleaned out the newly fibreglassed, empty pool - lots of leaves and pollen blown in- going to start filling it today. I was blinded for nearly half and hour from the glare inside the pool.

Nothing extremely exciting or deeply profound to report or discuss. Just still grateful to be here with you all, sober and living life with gratitude.

Zoey, Caramel, Barbs, - how are you girls doing?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Aliceiw

Good morning everyone.

Mike, I'm with you on hating August. It's an oppressively hot month in Texas. Everyone stays inside mostly going stir crazy. It's like living under Steven King's dome. And August, in general, seems to be the month when I'm most depressed. My daughter died in August, so maybe that's why. All of the smells, the sounds, etc. just bring that awful day back to me.

I am feeling very depressed lately. I'm trying to ramp up on the latest antidepressant my doctor is trying me on. I hope that helps. My daughter is back for another year of college. SHe's told me she feels purposeless and depressed and that she has suicidal thoughts. It's so hard to feel powerless to help her, but in a lot of ways she doesn't help herself.

On the job front, after what I thought was a fabulous interview for a job I wanted, I got a "thank you for applying and good luck in your search" letter. It was kind of a shock and a blow to my self-esteem. I have a third interview for a job that I really would love on Wednesday. The manager suggested that we meet at a coffee shop at a site half-way between the two of us. I'm hoping that's a good sign. I really don't know. If I'm rejected for this job I think I'm just going to crawl into bed and go to sleep for a month.

Other things that have been going on have been stressing and depressing me too. I need to make a concerted effort to try to find a bright side to look on. At least I am healthy and alcohol free.

Sorry to be a downer lately. I'm glad you all are doing well.

Dee74

I hope the meds will help Alice.

D

Bekindalways

Ugh Alice, you have good reason and then some to hate August. I think you had said before that you lost a daughter . . . .that is just the worst. Please give yourself extra points for staying sober . . . . .hmmm . . . . that sounds really lame. Big hug to you. Keep getting through the days and hours the best you can. Don't worry about being a downer just come here instead of drinking.

We had a scorcher here. Broke some temperature records. This long weekend, Labor Day in the US, usually marks the end of summer but it sure doesn't feel that way.

Sunflower84

Morning,


Alice, so sorry to hear you're feeling that way but obviously it is completely understandable and you should be so damn proud of yourself for managing to keep up staying sober when you have such painful emotions to process around this time.
Personally I would tell myself that the job wasn't meant to be and if it was then you'd of got it. The right thing is there waiting for you and will come to you at the right time. I believe in trusting in the universe but I need to remember that and take my own advice too!!! lol.
Im thinking of you Alice and sending lots of love your way. Keep us posted on things and I hope the meds help to ease things a little.

Ayers, I want one of the lambs too!!!! They sound adorable!

Bekind, glad you seem to be doing ok. Also you keep reminding me to et back to yoga, writing that down today in my diary and will choose a class for later this week.

Mike, How's it going? August is over so I'm hoping the start of this new month has you back on track and feeing brighter again. Do let us know? Thinking of you.

Well I'm sat in my pj's still, it's 9am now. I'm doing ok but had an awful craving last night but I resisted and used the technique of separating the evil AV from myself and "learning to see THAT IS NOT ME!!!! but a sinister force within me plotting my downfall" Quote from my book, The Unexpected Joys of being Sober.
I woke feeling so pleased today that I got through it and used techniques rather than robotically marching to the shop without any thoughts, just listening to that evil voice.

I'm good today but I've been doing a lot and my energy is so low today, not sleeping much and I've been exercising a lot. I know getting up moving and pushing myself is good and I've been doing that more than ever before so today I'm listening to my body and allowing myself a little rest. I'm starting work very soon but I'm letting myself get up, showered and dressed a bit later. I think as a one off it's not doing any harm.

The weather here is miserable at the moment, its raining and so very dark.

I went for lunch yesterday with a friend locally which was nice and Friday Im meeting another friend for a walk with the Alpacas, bit random but should be a laugh. Walking with them then a nice lunch. I seem to be building up my social life bit more now which was hugely lacking! I don't want a ton of people in my life just a handful of genuine people I can be open with and trust. Saturday I'm going to a friends in the City where I used to live, she's been sober several years and is great support to me, going to meet her two boys and spend the afternoon at her place.

Well I'll leave I there and get sorted to start work.

Thinking of you All and so happy we're all still here, missing some people we seem to of lost though.... Darkling, Zoey, Barbs, David, Caramel....If any of you read this I hope you're doing ok and would love to hear from you!!!!!

Morning to you Dee

Back Soon xxxxxxx

Bekindalways

Slightly cooler today but not by much.

I dropped a pile of things off at the Thrift Store (Charity Shop in the UK). I'm slowly going through some of my Mom's things. Taking apart the physical remnants of a life, in a way, seems sadder than the death itself . . .I'm not sure why.

So off to read another page of a legal document, do five minutes of exercise and call my sister . . . .ho hum, the daily efforts to keep life perking along.

Ayers

Wednesday morning

Still find it hard to get my head around seasons changing in different parts of the world - some moving into Autumn as we are moving into Spring.

Alice, hugs to you, going through an emotionally difficult time . And the let down from that company . Holding thumbs for the other one to realise. Good luck with the meeting. And hope the meds help you and are the right fit for you.

Bee, going through a loved ones things and sorting it out is always painful. But also part of the healing process , I think. Thinking of you.

Kitty, so happy - because you are happy You are sounding very positive and full of plans. Good that you are staying busy. Walking with Alpacas? Do you stroll along with them following you ? Can you touch them? They have such long eyelashes - have you noticed? Oh and be aware, apparently the spit at you ... Sounds like such fun, wish I could join.

Going into my slightly down and bored phase - but I know it is because I've been working hard with no "play time". Will rectify that asap and get stuck into planting my veg garden. I know that will give me an instant lift.

Stay strong and carry on . Love to you all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bekindalways

Another one here headed into Wednesday morning.

Soberrecovery does highlight the shape and tilt of our planet as we pass the torch from time zone to time zone. Also weird to think of the mirror opposites of the seasons.

Hoping for more exercise and dealing with finances and paperwork today. I have had an occasional thought that being tipsy would make paperwork more fun . . . . .

mns1

Alice, I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve lost. It is totally understandable that you would hate August. Keep hangin’ in there.

Kitty, I’m doing okay. Thoughts/cravings seem to be dying down. Still staying the course!

I have definitely been in a mental funk, or more of an energy funk I guess. Probably because I think I just don’t get enough sleep, and whatever sleep I do get is not necessarily the best quality. I take 2 hour naps almost every day, which I don’t like, but I feel like I need the sleep. I’ve also been inconsistent with my workouts and not really paying much attention to my diet. I’m not worried because I’ve had funks like this before even in college in my early 20s before I ever started drinking or getting depressed. They usually have a way of resolving themselves.

But I am sober, and that remains priority number one.

Bekindalways

Well good on you for the staying sober Mike.

Have you seen a doc about the depression? Maybe you have discussed this before and I don't remember. Docs can only do so much but they can turn up something that is easy to solve if you are lucky.

Ayers

Thursday morning

Oh no Bee, what a silly thought !! Here's a rap on your knuckle for you .
Kick that thought to the kerb.

when I have loads of paperwork , here's what I do. And it really seems to help... I put on my diffuser in my office (of course I do ), and I put on some soothing music. This is not everyone's cup of tea, but one of my favourites is not really music - it called "dancing with dolphins" and has only dolphin sounds on it.

I might be doing that today , as I have some paperwork to do. I'll be thinking of you - both of us doing the same thing , seperated by many many miles ((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Sunflower84

Afternoon,

Nearing 3pm here and I've been very up and down.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and rant on about how "I feel different this time" "this time I'm going to crack it" etc etc blah blah blahhhhhh...

I had a real slump yesterday and my mood was on the floor, I was irritable and so tired I just wanted to cry. Anyway as you all know I've been here so many times now that I know its al normal and I know it passes! I've just been getting on with as much as I can, Ive stated doing some exercising at home with a kettlebell, some squats and other bits and pieces. Today my boyfriend Is collecting a weights bench with some weight small enough for me lol so I'll be using that too. I've been making sure Im up and out walking early before work.
Today I had my first driving lesson in over 15 years! Im so late starting due to all the heavy drinking over the years but this is it I'm going for it and fast tracking it so I should be on the road in a few weeks. The lesson went so well! I was anxious with it being so long ago I was behind a wheel but it was great and afterwards I came home with my mood feeling much brighter! Works been a flop this week, my focus is all out of sorts but I'm doing Well and feel like I'm in a good place, a healing place!
Still reading my book, 80 or so pages left, it's my fave quit lit one so far!
So all in all things are steady, Day 15 today.

Ayers, I'll have to check out their eyelashes tomorrow, never noticed that but never been up close to them really, we take them on an hour or so walk and then feed them, something different to do, then we're having lunch together afterwards. I love the idea of putting the diffuser on and listening to the dolphin sounds! Sounds so relaxing!

Red, not heard much from you, how are you doing? Thinking about you and eager to hear how you are getting on so please do let us know

Mike, hope you're mood picks back up soon and at least you know it will and have that positive mindset still there.

Bee, Hope you've got through the paperwork and some exercising and feel good for it?

Alice, how are you getting on now? Any more news from the other job? Thinking of you!

Well my friend is on his way here for a cuppa and chat so I'll shoot off.

Sending lots of love to you all.

Back Soon xxx

Bekindalways

I'd like to hear from Red too. You out there Red??!

No worries all I stayed away from the wine. Instead I knitted and watched ibank videos. I'm not sure how well this worked but at least I worked on it.

Kitty, it sounds like you are surfing the Alcohol urge. Well done.

I'm off to look at the calendar, call my sister, and a friend. Yeehaw.