24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 454
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
OH.....I was saying to my husband this morning that I was wondering where you were.....glad you have your internet back. 
I think today might be days sober for you....maybe? 
s xx
I think today might be days sober for you....maybe? s xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Off the beaten track, UK
Posts: 812
Originally Posted by venuscat 
I was so so worried about you last year.....ever since you disappeared from SR....I have never forgotten a single word you wrote.....I just feel your pain my friend. s And as heartbreaking as this still all is for you, well done on getting a good job....that is huge. s
Are you able to see your boys at all? If not, the work you are doing right now and the self-love you are growing will change things. One day at a time, life will be more on your side again. I really believe this deep in my heart.
Hope Sunday afternoon is being kind to you.
And love to everyone and well done on telling the AV to leave please Tynesider. s
s And as heartbreaking as this still all is for you, well done on getting a good job....that is huge. sAre you able to see your boys at all? If not, the work you are doing right now and the self-love you are growing will change things. One day at a time, life will be more on your side again. I really believe this deep in my heart.
Hope Sunday afternoon is being kind to you.
And love to everyone and well done on telling the AV to leave please Tynesider.
sI’m doing the next right thing, one thing after another. Haven’t been able to speak to or see my children since Christmas Day, ex partner has a restraining order against me which means no contact.
I understand and she was at the end of her tether, I was manipulative in the extreme and I can’t begin to explain in a brief post here but I have problems with her older son (my stepson) who she has forgiven unconditionally for his past behaviour and there’s an element of manipulation from him in the way that she’s dealing with things.
I’m struggling right now tbh, I always felt like she was my soulmate and I wish I could find a way to help her understand that none of the things I did were her fault, I made increasingly bad decisions and couldn’t find a way out because I saw no reason to, and justified my using by blaming everything and everyone around me. I was narcissistic in the extreme.
its like she’s just closed the door on the chapter and never looked back. I know she must think of me and reflect on things, I wash she could get the same kind of support and fellowship that I do in A.A. and elsewhere.
all I can say is that after nearly a year apart, I still love her and my children with all my heart and if anything, I think about them all more now than ever before and it’s crippling me...
I understand that I have to sit with all these feelings but it’s so difficult when all I really want to do is be with my family and talk about things, try to win her heart and happily ever after etc... the addict in me says that I’ve got 3 months sobriety, I want to make amends so you’d better sit and listen, moreover you should accept my apologies and forgive me immediately. I’m very conscious of this and the hardest thing to do right now is hand this stuff over in the knowledge that no matter what happens, it happens for a reason and ultimately I’ll be ok, so will my children and so will she. Sorry for ranting, just need to get some of this stuff out of my head
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Off the beaten track, UK
Posts: 812
Also, I would very much like to check in for another 24 hours of sober life please, I have work at 6.30 am and it’s nearly midnight so I’m gonna put my head down and hope for some sleep. Tomorrow is another day and I’ll face whatever challenges it brings.
Peace and love
James
Peace and love
James
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Originally Posted by NoGoingBack
Thanks for your words venuscat, it’s a struggle.
I’m doing the next right thing, one thing after another. Haven’t been able to speak to or see my children since Christmas Day, ex partner has a restraining order against me which means no contact.
I understand and she was at the end of her tether, I was manipulative in the extreme and I can’t begin to explain in a brief post here but I have problems with her older son (my stepson) who she has forgiven unconditionally for his past behaviour and there’s an element of manipulation from him in the way that she’s dealing with things.
I’m struggling right now tbh, I always felt like she was my soulmate and I wish I could find a way to help her understand that none of the things I did were her fault, I made increasingly bad decisions and couldn’t find a way out because I saw no reason to, and justified my using by blaming everything and everyone around me. I was narcissistic in the extreme.
its like she’s just closed the door on the chapter and never looked back. I know she must think of me and reflect on things, I wash she could get the same kind of support and fellowship that I do in A.A. and elsewhere.
all I can say is that after nearly a year apart, I still love her and my children with all my heart and if anything, I think about them all more now than ever before and it’s crippling me...
I understand that I have to sit with all these feelings but it’s so difficult when all I really want to do is be with my family and talk about things, try to win her heart and happily ever after etc... the addict in me says that I’ve got 3 months sobriety, I want to make amends so you’d better sit and listen, moreover you should accept my apologies and forgive me immediately. I’m very conscious of this and the hardest thing to do right now is hand this stuff over in the knowledge that no matter what happens, it happens for a reason and ultimately I’ll be ok, so will my children and so will she. Sorry for ranting, just need to get some of this stuff out of my head
There are things we do in our addiction that are so big that forgiveness is tough coming.....that is my story love. My mother died because I wasn't there. I can never forgive myself for that. It is so painful....yet I have found a way to heal and give and have a life that is kind of beautiful.
Please don't ever give up on this path....I promise you that you will find miracles.
s xx
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