I would normally post in the morning my 24 hour pledge but I have so much on my mind I need to post. I went to my STBX house tonight to collect a bunch of stuff I don’t need at my new place but didn’t want to leave there. As I’m loading up my car, I ask him if he planned to file anything soon and he said yes, that he wanted to go through with the divorce. I bring up that I would need to hire legal counsel for myself and all of a sudden the conversation went south. He brought up many past memories and even said that I wasn’t mentally stable and that he would stonewall me because I’d only be wasting all of our savings and in the end hurting the girls future. What a mess. For the last two weeks I really thought he wanted to try and work it out. Now I’m wondering if I should tell my attorney not to file my request tomorrow. He has no idea I hired counsel back in May.

Woke up angry yet incredibly sad. I hate this feeling. I wish I could take off today but alas I cannot. I just finished my makeup and it’s already tearing down my face. Asking for strength to make it through 24 hours more. Why is this so hard.