leo21

Hi classmates it sounds like we have some great progress going on here! Day #18 and taking everything nice and easy, being cautious and mindful.

bodhi01

Hi everyone, day 35 and soon to be day 36. Had a rough week with money worries but been feeling physically good. Had the odd thought about drinking again. I almost started to convince myself maybe I could moderate at some point but after a meeting this eve I have a renewed confidence and commitment to my sobriety. I can't stress the importance of finding a group that works for you. This specific group was recommended to me by a friend and it was the best I'd been to. It's put me back on track mentally. Hope everyone is having a great week.

Sober369

I got my presentation done. Now, I'm going to go over it a couple of times, reading it out loud. This has been one of the most stressful things I can remember. Still having trouble with the nut case at work I told you all about earlier, too.
I'm sorry folks, but I have not reached day one yet. I'm only having a little, though I am not fooling myself, I realize that by taking a drink I am opening myself up to getting horribly drunk and being too sick to manage tomorrow. But for now, I am only having enough to stop me from losing my mind.
I am overwhelmed. I am not giving up, it's just that once it gets hold of me, it takes a lot to stop it. It's like falling down a mountain. You realize you need to grab onto something, but it takes a few tries. Sometimes, you just keep falling until you smash up at the bottom. I'm going to try really hard not to let that happen.
Thanks to all of you for being here.
OK, back to work with me.

kgirl41

You don't have to be sorry Karen. We all understand. This last time around was SO hard for me to stop. But I kept coming out here and finally it stuck. You will get there, too!!

kgirl41

Day 11 for me and I have been feeling so good the last couple of days. Work is going well, I'm productive both there and at home and I'm sleeping well. Anyway, just wanted to do a quick check in, I'm ready to chill and watch Netflix until bedtime. I'm watching Stranger Things season 3 right now. Hope everyone is well and has a good night!

venuscat

Karen honey, ...we get it. s
Try to know it will be OK.....just put the glass down. Change to water. You can do this love.

Finalround

Agree with others sentiment Karen. Start right now. Put the glass down and pour the rest out. It's not going to get easier.

Looks like I will have a full day of work tomorrow. Been very slow lately and that is not good for me. I need to be busy. Idle time has always been a major trigger.

Finally fell back asleep this morning an hour before the alarm. Ugghhh! Exhausted and barely keeping my eyes open now.

Goodnight all.

Sober369

Hi all, I kept it really minimal. By the grace of God, I know. It's like Russian roulette, but this time I didn't get shot. Got all the practice done. One thing that saved me is that Charlie rolled in the fire pit and I had to give him a bath. Drying a Goldendoodle puppy takes a long time!
I wish I could express how grateful I am to you all.
Sweet dreams. Tomorrow I am going to an AA meeting no matter what.

Jewel72

Hope the presentation goes great for you tomorrow, Karen. Make tomorrow your new day 1. Let us know how the AA meeting goes.

Another good and productive day. I’m tackling my to do list a bit each day and feeling peaceful about it.

Took my oldest shopping tonight for her dorm room. We had so much fun! I’m going to miss her, but I’m so excited for her and this next phase of life.

Off to bed....goodnight dear Class.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Charon.

Really rooting for you to make tomorrow day one, Karen

Congrats to everyone moving forwards with milestones, no matter what it is

D

BackandScared

Glad you are still posting Karen and being honest (mainly with yourself). Also rooting you make it day 1 today and that your presentation goes very well.

Good morning on your day 36 Bodhi. It may take some work to disassociate relaxing/lessening anxiety/partying with drinking. But no matter how big the drinking problem (or even how drunk one is) it is pretty obvious that, whatever the financial problem is, you are already contributing hugely to resolve it.

Always motivated by reading others closing another sober day (leo, FR, Quit) and by the support of Dee and Venus.

#31 here. No magical pink clouds or super great achievements to report. I think it is very easy for me to forget how bad I was really getting; the constant hangover that was becoming very obviously mixed with withdrawal symptoms, the constant fear and anxiety that alcohol could only mitigate for a few hours before shooting it up to the roof again, etc. I have been pretending so long that I was still 'functioning' and telling so many lies that it is difficult to see the real difference between the real me 30 days ago and the person I was faking. I continue to (unconsciously) assess how I feel now with the fake. Not sure I can explain this.

Happy Tuesday everyone>

Ps: Another irrational fact: I find Tuesdays the easiest day of the week for cravings (!)

BackandScared

This is really bad.... I have just realised it is Wednesday!!! n In my defense I must say that I am working from home in a project for the past week with very little contact with the outside world, so no real difference between Saturday/Mondays or Sundays. Not sure when I lost count, but I have got it wrong for the past 3 days at least.

Finalround

Woke this morning a bit anxious about the day ahead. Did some breathing techniques and meditation to calm my mind. It's been so long that I've been busy I forgot how to deal with it. To be honest, it's really not that much, just not used to it.

Loading up on fruits and veggies in my lunch today. Energy and clean living to clear the mind and soul.

Have a great day today everyone. Good luck on your presentation Karen. You're doing so well quit4. Keep it up.

This is the biggest class I've "graduated" with. Let's keep it together.

Jewel72

Yes to this! Classes tend to dwindle down to just a few after 30 days. I would love to see us all keep going and stick together. This battle needs many soldiers and when one of us is down; the more to lift the wounded the better. You guys are wonderful.

Haha Backandscared, I often forget which day of the week it is! Wow! You’re at a month? I think that’s what you said. That is wonderful. I don’t know you IRL, but you sure sound like a genuine and caring person in your posts. I bet thats partly because you gave up drinking? That would be one change, right? Im sure there are many, many more.

FR, I hope your day goes well. Smart plan with all the healthy choices.

Hi Karen, I’m cheering you on over here.

Entering Day 12. Going to put my house back together, make a meal for a friend at church, then drive kids all over the place later. I have been looking for ways to serve others to get my mind off myself. It is helping.

Off to enjoy the day. Really thankful to wake up and read your posts. Also very thankful for sobriety. It is the better life. I will cling to it with everything I’ve got (and rely on others when I don’t have anything left.)

venuscat

Just so much love....Karen....you got this.....the presentation, a new day 1.....and a fantastically clean puppy. s

Listening to you Quitnow makes my heart sing.....look at you go!!! s

And I love your new signature dear Dee.
A favourite of mine.
Hope your ribs are healing. s

venuscat

I relate to everything you say.....so much feels like you pulled the words out of my head.

I knew that so much of what I was telling myself wasn't true as my drinking went on, I knew I was a completely 'fake' person. It devastated me.

Gosh, I have a story from years back, in my early drinking days (you think I would have learned from this)....I would get happily blind and go do whatever I wanted....and I drove. No one could tell, and I was this alter-Suze. One day alter-Suze bought an apartment. Really. I didn't have a cent to my name, yet I went to see these beautifully renovated apartments, and bought one. Put down a deposit.

I got my money back, but I was SO embarrassed.....I literally bought an apartment in a blackout.

But I didn't learn, I just learned to stay home and drink. And told so many stories to myself and others for so long that I had no clue where the real me was anymore.

When I stopped drinking, I did not have this pink cloud phase other people talk about....but I did have me. The real version ~ someone I hadn't really seen much for around 20 years. That still makes me really happy.

Not sure what my point is exactly, bit of a waffle.

Love to all of the Julyers, and have a great day.

BackandScared

Your apartment purchase is a powerful one Venuscat. It made me smile. On its own way it is pretty funny. A pity alcohol just made it shameful, taking away the memory of the naughty girl who went for it.

Since FinalRound mentioned it, I have made a list of those posting on part 3. We are indeed quite a few:

1. Hoping
2. Kinsey
3. Gurra
4. Sapph
5. Quitnow
6. FreshStart
7. Charon
8. Kgirl
9. Bobdrop
10. Sober
11. Joy
12. FinalRound
13. Badger
14. Leo
15. Bodhi
16. Myself/BackandScared

Our unique Dee and Venus.
I hope everybody will keep checking in so say hi from time to time. (Also hope I did not miss anybody)

BackandScared

And thank you for your kind words Quit. I don't know if I am a caring person, but makes me very happy that you see me as such.

venuscat

I have carried the shame of some of my drunken escapades for many years....for sure, I was very honest in AA and NA as well (I had a big marijuana problem), but there are three things I have never been able to tell anyone.

The apartment escapade was one of those.....another was stealing a bottle of wine from my client when I was cleaning, getting caught on camera and getting very fired....so so so so so lucky I was not arrested.

The third I finally managed to confess to my husband sometime ago....I have to live with that one. It is the one that will stop me from drinking ever again if I somehow lose my way....I won't ever forgive myself for that one....I could have badly hurt my cat. I didn't, but well, just wow, the drunk me is a monster.

Being part of this group has helped me immensely.....I am letting go of the past shame. Letting go as you all let go of the chains we had around our necks.

So thank you once again for having me. s

PS.... Quit is SO right dear Back. s xx

Jewel72

Thanks for the list, Back. That’s great!