Hi! Hoping to join this class. I’ve been struggling for such a long time and want to change. I’ve tried to moderate for years now and do well for a bit but then go overboard and have blackout times where I act like a different person...so embarrassing. I had gastric bypass 10 years ago and have struggled ever since. Since 2017 I’ve gained back 30 pounds of the weight I lost. Old habits and the cycle of drinking has taken a toll on me. I’m getting my earring under control by following post gastric bypass diet instructions. I am thinking about going for counseling. There’s lots of things I’m struggling with...I just started a new demanding stressful job two months ago, moved cross country for it, my sister dies of lung cancer two weeks ago. I drink to relax and escape. And once I start I have trouble stopping. I just keep going and going. It’s realky unhealthy. My husband is my partner in crime and has been quite patient and understanding but I feel like it’s just got to be addressed. Since my husband and I drink together it will be challenging but I am committed. I’m disgusted with myself and feel like a bad person.

congrats on 17 days! That’s awesome! What steps/things are helping you day to day?

Today is day 2. Not feeling that great physically this morning. My anxiety is very high today. I had a binge drinking episode Saturday. Don’t remember anything. I’m nervous I may have run into someone from work and acted like a jerk. My husband said I was really bad on Saturday. Sometimes when I drink too much I turn into a different person. It’s like a bad alter ego or something. I say things and do things I would never do sober. So anyway I am feeling panicky inside. I am also trying to decide if I should access employee assistance benefits through work or if I should just find a counselor. What do u think of EAP programs?

I also have tried and failed many times. May have hit rock bottom this time. I am really going to try. You can do this!!

I’m back and ready to build my sober muscles. I feel awful today. My anxiety is very high, confidence is very low. In two weeks the feelings I have now will fade and I’ll be back to the professional, happy, productive me. I never want to go back through this again.

I am feeling the same way..my anxiety is so high. Feel so bad about myself. I hope this passes. We will need to remind each other that we don’t want to feel this way again.

Day 2 is coming to a close. I didn’t feel well today. I followed my eating plan and drank lots of fluids. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m having trouble sleeping now. On Saturday I overdid it..don’t remember anything after a certain point. I hate that I can’t control myself. I’m afraid I may have bumped into someone from work and acted like horribly. I was waiting for the show to drop all day tomorrow. My boss scheduled a 1:1 with me and a mid year review. Neither is unusual but I am a nervous wreck. This is is awful. I don’t want to feel like this or need to worry like this ever again.

Hi all. I’m another in the ‘back again’ category. I’ve been reading back on the site and so much wisdom.

Have a great Tuesday (or hope you had a great one to those the other end of the day).