Class of July 2019 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,505
Well you can have more hugs BandS. 
s 
Honestly, I hear people talk about going all out in gym work and running and stuff newly sober, and I worry a little. AA taught me easy does it, first things first, be gentle with myself, one step at a time.....I watched people push themselves so hard and fall down, over and over.
I know everyone has their own way, but maybe your body wants more gentle exercise right now like walking. A walk after dinner at this time of year is divine....and I think it might help you fall asleep more readily. s
s Honestly, I hear people talk about going all out in gym work and running and stuff newly sober, and I worry a little. AA taught me easy does it, first things first, be gentle with myself, one step at a time.....I watched people push themselves so hard and fall down, over and over.
I know everyone has their own way, but maybe your body wants more gentle exercise right now like walking. A walk after dinner at this time of year is divine....and I think it might help you fall asleep more readily.
s 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
I've been exhausted, too. I have periods of hours where I feel pretty good, I just tire so easily and it takes a while to get over the tired. I almost have to nap when it gets that bad, but of course I can't always have a nap. In fact, it's rare. I feel fuzzy headed when I'm that tired, too.
I think I'm going to try vitamins and drinking more water.
I use to have a very hard time getting to sleep, but now I've started reading or watching nature videos when I am going to sleep. I wake up just enough to turn out the light later. It quiets my mind.
I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I am doing some cleaning and then I have to do work for my job. I'm giving a presentation to my company's entire Activity Director team. Yikes!! I have until August 8th to pull it together. I will not worry too much over it, because that could definitely trigger some drinking thoughts.
I think I'm going to try vitamins and drinking more water.
I use to have a very hard time getting to sleep, but now I've started reading or watching nature videos when I am going to sleep. I wake up just enough to turn out the light later. It quiets my mind.
I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I am doing some cleaning and then I have to do work for my job. I'm giving a presentation to my company's entire Activity Director team. Yikes!! I have until August 8th to pull it together. I will not worry too much over it, because that could definitely trigger some drinking thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,505
Oh wow Karen, if you want anyone to chat to about your presentation....I am your girl. I have only known one or two other women who do what you do, and I used to. It is such a very special job.....isn't it? And I bet your presentation will be amazing.
I believe water is essential, lots of it. And I take vitamins too. I have learned in my Health Coach course (which I am just now getting back into) that we need to make sure we are taking the right vitamins....it is so easy to just Google and buy. And it is not always a great idea.
I was taking this Vitamin C that I thought was a decent brand, and I found it isn't at all. Not a good company. I have one or two brands that I trust now. It might be good to ask your pharmacist re the best multi for women around our age perhaps? s
I have only known one or two other women who do what you do, and I used to. It is such a very special job.....isn't it? And I bet your presentation will be amazing. I believe water is essential, lots of it. And I take vitamins too. I have learned in my Health Coach course (which I am just now getting back into) that we need to make sure we are taking the right vitamins....it is so easy to just Google and buy. And it is not always a great idea.
I was taking this Vitamin C that I thought was a decent brand, and I found it isn't at all. Not a good company. I have one or two brands that I trust now. It might be good to ask your pharmacist re the best multi for women around our age perhaps?
s
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Good morning Julyers. Day 2 here and I want to take a minute to thank all of you for your support. It helped me immensely yesterday as I tried to sort through my shame, guilt, fear, and well just trying to understand how it happened so I can put a better plan in place for the next craving.
One thing that really resonated with me is from Carol's post where she talked about "shaking things up". I realized I do the same things everyday, week after week and part of my daily routine is trying to rush home each night to prepare dinner for my family, then chores, walk the dogs and sit on the couch. Well my children are mostly grown, my youngest turning 13 in a month. I reflected on the fact that I, like a child, find comfort in the normal. But my normal also includes buying beer on the way home to drink while I cook or drink while I clean and do chores. Soooo I am going to shake things up. Today I am going grocery shopping and preparing food that can be easily reheated during the week. I'll grill up some lean meats, make a batch of rice, a batch of mashed potatoes and have veggies to steam in the freezer. This will relieve the need for me to "rush" home everyday to cook dinner....serve my family.
Instead I am going to try yoga and meditation. Maybe kickboxing. I'm going to hit an AA meeting or two. For once I am going to focus on me. My family will be fine. My husband is capable of reheating a meal for himself and/or our son.
The other thing I learned from reading Recovery by Russell Brand is that alcoholics are selfish and self centered people (or at least the disease is!). I have never thought of myself as ego serving but realized that I serve my family with ego "you would never survive without me!" type attitude. I have to work on letting that go. It's keeping me bound to this routine where nothing will ever change. My family will be best served by me taking care of me FIRST.
This will be hard for me but I can feel deep in my soul that this is what I must do to change it all up.
Anyway sorry for the babbling. How is everyone doing? I'm still here fighting the good fight. Who's with me?
One thing that really resonated with me is from Carol's post where she talked about "shaking things up". I realized I do the same things everyday, week after week and part of my daily routine is trying to rush home each night to prepare dinner for my family, then chores, walk the dogs and sit on the couch. Well my children are mostly grown, my youngest turning 13 in a month. I reflected on the fact that I, like a child, find comfort in the normal. But my normal also includes buying beer on the way home to drink while I cook or drink while I clean and do chores. Soooo I am going to shake things up. Today I am going grocery shopping and preparing food that can be easily reheated during the week. I'll grill up some lean meats, make a batch of rice, a batch of mashed potatoes and have veggies to steam in the freezer. This will relieve the need for me to "rush" home everyday to cook dinner....serve my family.
Instead I am going to try yoga and meditation. Maybe kickboxing. I'm going to hit an AA meeting or two. For once I am going to focus on me. My family will be fine. My husband is capable of reheating a meal for himself and/or our son.
The other thing I learned from reading Recovery by Russell Brand is that alcoholics are selfish and self centered people (or at least the disease is!). I have never thought of myself as ego serving but realized that I serve my family with ego "you would never survive without me!" type attitude. I have to work on letting that go. It's keeping me bound to this routine where nothing will ever change. My family will be best served by me taking care of me FIRST.
This will be hard for me but I can feel deep in my soul that this is what I must do to change it all up.
Anyway sorry for the babbling. How is everyone doing? I'm still here fighting the good fight. Who's with me?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Kgirl.. I cried reading you. I feel guilty, I cover the basics with the family but also feel super selfish because, while everybody is working, while my husband is giving it all at work, my kids getting hours of school, homework and exercise, I procrastinate and then pretend is all fine by covering those basics.
Perhaps part of what we need to shake up is that constant beating of ourselves. Perhaps we are selfish. Perhaps we have spent too much time thinking on how to get more alcohol. We are spending time on self-destroy mood. But most people (the healthiest ones in my opinion and I am surrounded by them) are also selfish: they go to work and are productive because they want to make something for themselves. They exercise/give love because they need to feel mentally and physically healthy.
You must stop drinking and I must stop because we love ourselves. It will not work otherwise. Why would you not self-destruct someone selffish and without self-control who is ruining everybody's life?
I am trying to work on it. I really cried reading your post because I can see the abusive bitch who is writing it. You (and I) are abusing yourself. I don't know how to change this I am trying a bit of CBT by myslef with the 'CBT for dummies' book.
Not sure I make sense and apologise if this is really not useful
Perhaps part of what we need to shake up is that constant beating of ourselves. Perhaps we are selfish. Perhaps we have spent too much time thinking on how to get more alcohol. We are spending time on self-destroy mood. But most people (the healthiest ones in my opinion and I am surrounded by them) are also selfish: they go to work and are productive because they want to make something for themselves. They exercise/give love because they need to feel mentally and physically healthy.
You must stop drinking and I must stop because we love ourselves. It will not work otherwise. Why would you not self-destruct someone selffish and without self-control who is ruining everybody's life?
I am trying to work on it. I really cried reading your post because I can see the abusive bitch who is writing it. You (and I) are abusing yourself. I don't know how to change this I am trying a bit of CBT by myslef with the 'CBT for dummies' book.
Not sure I make sense and apologise if this is really not useful
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Wow, kgirl, that was so inspiring. Thank you! You go, kgirl!
Venuscat, I would love help with this presentation. It's about increasing resident participation. I will probably PM you later when I'm working on it. I would love to hear how you managed it.
I took a long, long time reading back over all the posts I have missed. Such great reading, you all inspire me so much!
But, now I had better get busy. I'll be keeping in mind that all this work I have to do is unimportant compared to my main goal of going to bed sober another day!
Happy Sunday everyone!
Venuscat, I would love help with this presentation. It's about increasing resident participation. I will probably PM you later when I'm working on it. I would love to hear how you managed it.
I took a long, long time reading back over all the posts I have missed. Such great reading, you all inspire me so much!
But, now I had better get busy. I'll be keeping in mind that all this work I have to do is unimportant compared to my main goal of going to bed sober another day!
Happy Sunday everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 141
Happy Sunday, gang.
Timely posts here from everyone, lots of good stuff that I needed to hear myself today. Kgirl, that was a great post you wrote, and it was helpful to me to see that no matter how many times we “slip”, if we really want this sobriety thing, we always can come back with a new tool to add, a new adjustment to make to ourselves, until it finally sticks. This is our resilience and yours has been inspiring this month
I’ve been a bit frustrated with all the weight gain from the alcohol over these past years..I was once a marathon runner and to say the least, those days are far away atm and I’m lugging around an extra 40+ lbs. I’m trying NOT to beat myself up (that just triggers me), and I’m not weighing myself (trigger), I’m eating better, lots of good vitamins, water, I’m going for easy walks and reintroducing gentle short runs for stress relief. Still, I don’t recognize my own body anymore and I know I just need to give time, time (eta: I’m only 27 days in so of course it didn’t go on overnight, it won’t come off overnight!). Patience is not my virtue lol....so I appreciate BackandScared and Venuscats comments today as well! Gotta stay in the moment. Thanks guys.
Timely posts here from everyone, lots of good stuff that I needed to hear myself today. Kgirl, that was a great post you wrote, and it was helpful to me to see that no matter how many times we “slip”, if we really want this sobriety thing, we always can come back with a new tool to add, a new adjustment to make to ourselves, until it finally sticks. This is our resilience and yours has been inspiring this month
I’ve been a bit frustrated with all the weight gain from the alcohol over these past years..I was once a marathon runner and to say the least, those days are far away atm and I’m lugging around an extra 40+ lbs. I’m trying NOT to beat myself up (that just triggers me), and I’m not weighing myself (trigger), I’m eating better, lots of good vitamins, water, I’m going for easy walks and reintroducing gentle short runs for stress relief. Still, I don’t recognize my own body anymore and I know I just need to give time, time (eta: I’m only 27 days in so of course it didn’t go on overnight, it won’t come off overnight!). Patience is not my virtue lol....so I appreciate BackandScared and Venuscats comments today as well! Gotta stay in the moment. Thanks guys.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
BackandScared - you're so right. I think it's human instinct to be selfish. But how can we be selfish in healthier ways? By making healthier choices (albeit still be selfish) we can love ourselves and therefore love our family?
Sorry I made you cry
I've been crying a lot the last two days. Partly from the hangover but also tears of gratitude for this group and tears as I reveal truths about my disease. Instead of self destroy, let's try self love and self care?
Sorry I made you cry
I've been crying a lot the last two days. Partly from the hangover but also tears of gratitude for this group and tears as I reveal truths about my disease. Instead of self destroy, let's try self love and self care?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,505
Hi Sapph. s
I so hear you honey....but you will get your runner's body back. Really.
There is a man where I live who is a 79-year old marathon runner....he and his wife travel all over the States to do marathons. And he only took it up at around 65.
sI so hear you honey....but you will get your runner's body back. Really.
There is a man where I live who is a 79-year old marathon runner....he and his wife travel all over the States to do marathons. And he only took it up at around 65.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,505
We need to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of anyone else....we need to give to ourselves in order to be able to give to others. I don't think that's selfish at all....I think it is good self-awareness. s
s
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Originally Posted by kgirl41 
BackandScared - you're so right. I think it's human instinct to be selfish. But how can we be selfish in healthier ways? By making healthier choices (albeit still be selfish) we can love ourselves and therefore love our family?
Sorry I made you cry I've been crying a lot the last two days. Partly from the hangover but also tears of gratitude for this group and tears as I reveal truths about my disease. Instead of self destroy, let's try self love and self care?
Sorry I made you cry
I've been crying a lot the last two days. Partly from the hangover but also tears of gratitude for this group and tears as I reveal truths about my disease. Instead of self destroy, let's try self love and self care? If your youngest is 13 all your family can fix a meal. I don't know how much your family knows about your struggle. Perhaps you need to tell them you are not in a good place (whatever reason, pre-menopause?, blood pressure, anemia) and you need a bit of help for a couple of weeks with the shopping and the cooking. Instead of figuring out how to do everything by yourself, make it about how to use the day to delegate next week.
They will feel useful, you will get the feeling your family is there with you and you will be really changing something. Doing it all on Sunday might be a change of routine superficially, but it is not changing the structural framework. Give it a real shake up.
Now I will go and take my own advice (not sure how)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,505
Originally Posted by Sober369
Wow, kgirl, that was so inspiring. Thank you! You go, kgirl!
Venuscat, I would love help with this presentation. It's about increasing resident participation. I will probably PM you later when I'm working on it. I would love to hear how you managed it.
I took a long, long time reading back over all the posts I have missed. Such great reading, you all inspire me so much!
But, now I had better get busy. I'll be keeping in mind that all this work I have to do is unimportant compared to my main goal of going to bed sober another day!
Happy Sunday everyone!
Venuscat, I would love help with this presentation. It's about increasing resident participation. I will probably PM you later when I'm working on it. I would love to hear how you managed it.
I took a long, long time reading back over all the posts I have missed. Such great reading, you all inspire me so much!
But, now I had better get busy. I'll be keeping in mind that all this work I have to do is unimportant compared to my main goal of going to bed sober another day!
Happy Sunday everyone!
I helped out in my dad's nursing home in this way.....I have lots of ideas.
s
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Sapph, as I said, I stopped looking at myself in t he mirror not to see my post-drunk/hungover mess. This week I have made a point about looking at myself. I hate my yellow teeth from years of smoking and red wine. I am looking at them and making an effort to say 'I love you'. Sounds stupid. But like many others I look at photos in the past when I thought I did not look good and think: 'Wow, you were actually quite beautiful'. I don't want to look back. I want to look at it now and see it now.
I have also looked at myself in the mirror totally naked and I can see a middle-age woman who has had kids, who has breastfed and who has drunk too much. Full of different curves and life reminders. I have actually weigh myself for the first time in ages. I am not overweight, but it seems that I have been ignoring everything that would remind me about my body.
I know it is easier to say than done, but this specific point is working for me. I need a mirror more than ever: I need to see myself from all angles. I need to love enough what is there to want to look after it.
Big big hug
I have also looked at myself in the mirror totally naked and I can see a middle-age woman who has had kids, who has breastfed and who has drunk too much. Full of different curves and life reminders. I have actually weigh myself for the first time in ages. I am not overweight, but it seems that I have been ignoring everything that would remind me about my body.
I know it is easier to say than done, but this specific point is working for me. I need a mirror more than ever: I need to see myself from all angles. I need to love enough what is there to want to look after it.
Big big hug
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Originally Posted by venuscat
It sounded to me like kgirl is making choices for today that will make her entire week easier....and that her husband and 13 year old will help for sure. s
s
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Morning. First time posting here. Last drink July 10th.
My therapist is out of the country till August 8th and just before my 4 days sic (self induced coma) a family crisis that I over-reacted to blew up disastrusly.
I am totally committed to never having another drink. I have three SMART meetings a week that I go to and three group meetings plus a one-on- one counsler at a recovery facility that is specific to seniors. I'll get my therapist back soon.
My August 8th appointment is going to be for the entire family to meet with him and try to resolve this crisis. It will be what it will be. I can't let that or anything else interfere with my sobriety.
My therapist is out of the country till August 8th and just before my 4 days sic (self induced coma) a family crisis that I over-reacted to blew up disastrusly.
I am totally committed to never having another drink. I have three SMART meetings a week that I go to and three group meetings plus a one-on- one counsler at a recovery facility that is specific to seniors. I'll get my therapist back soon.
My August 8th appointment is going to be for the entire family to meet with him and try to resolve this crisis. It will be what it will be. I can't let that or anything else interfere with my sobriety.
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