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Class of April 2018 Part 11

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Old 09-27-2019, 03:11 PM
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Have a lovely time Erratic, spoil baby Willem and look after yourself.

Stay strong Nichole, read back over your previous posts to remind yourself how bad it was and keep posting. Just concentrate on today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. I know you can do this, look how far you've come.

See you all tomorrow, sleep well, love always. xx
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Old 09-27-2019, 04:40 PM
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I believe you can stay sober Nicole

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Old 09-27-2019, 11:06 PM
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Good morning Aprils

7 a.m and it's still dark out there, its hard to believe that just a few short weeks ago it was light at 4.30 a.m. It's cold too at 55 degrees, I'm sat here with the fire on. What have you all got planned for the weekend? I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary unless someone surprises me, I'm doing some housework today and I've got Mr D.B's g.children staying over tonight so that'll keep me busy.
My lovely daughter and her partner are taking little g.son to Blackpool pleasure beach ( theme park) today along with their 2 kiddo's, they are all very excited, I'm sure they'll make some lovely memories.

Thinking about you Nichole, I'm in agreement with Dee, I believe you can stay sober too.

I'll check in again sometime later. Love always. xxx
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Old 09-28-2019, 09:38 AM
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evening all x

got here safely but knackerd, also forgot what kittens are like lol got to bed at 1-30am and the little kitten woke me up with purring and nuzling me at 5-50am this morning! then he went looking about underbed and all that noisy stuff and then thought hey i would like to play fight with my arm lol then he eventually layed his head under my chin and went for little sleep which yup ended up being awake nvm x

hope u are ok nichole x

have had a good day with willem today and we went shopping while it was dry and then now its chucking it down now. so just sitting here with pepper pig on and daughers bf is laying on floor sleeping lol x

anyway enough for now.

hope u had a good day daisy and nichole please come and post if u can x
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Old 09-28-2019, 02:30 PM
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Hi again, just doing my usual bedtime check in. Had a quiet day with no drama and that's just the way I like it. I'm just waiting for my g.son to come back from Blackpool, I've had lots of Wattsapp photo's from my daughter and it looks like they've all had a good day.
Mr D.B has gone on a rare night out, well when I say night he actually went out at 2 this afternoon, he's got the train into Liverpool to meet his brother and sister and they are both big drinkers but Mr D.B isn't. He's getting the last train home. He will be soooo poorly tomorrow and I'll get all that 'never again' stuff. I'm going to make him drink a pint of water when he gets in. Once upon a day him going out would be my golden opportunity to drink myself into oblivion, tonight I'm not even tempted, I'm painting some Halloween pebbles and having a cup of tea.

Glad you arrived safely Erratic and no wonder your knackered, you didn't have the greatest amount of sleep lol, kittens are so naughty, but cute.
It's chucking down here too, it's relentless but I don't care, I'm inside and I'm warm and dry.
Oh no, not Peppa Pig , so glad my lot have outgrown that

I hope the rest of you are having a good Saturday.

Love always xxx
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Old 09-28-2019, 03:25 PM
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Hi all. Just wanted to post quick. Am about to go to sleep been in London as went to see Belinda Carslisle with my sister last night and then we stayed up there and shopped today. It's been physically exhausting but also mentally too as alcohol all around and I found yesterday quite challenging . I didnt sleep well either so I am glad to be sober and in my own bed.

Will post tomorrow.

Lots of love x d
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Old 09-28-2019, 05:24 PM
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Hope everyone had a good sober day

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Old 09-28-2019, 05:44 PM
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Hey everyone
Snitch hopefully you get some rest!
Erratic glad you had a safe trip there.
Daisy painting Halloween pebbles sounds interesting!! Halloween is my favorite We go all out.
Viper how are you?
Dee hopefully you day is amazing.
So far I’ve made it through the weekend sober I did have thoughts of drinking a lot but not worth the start over of the cycle. It’s odd this time seems different from all the other times like I really feel like this time will stick. I’m little scared to drink with that being said I’m worried about what will happen if I do just more of a reason to stay sober. Today is 19 finally tomorrow will be the start of the 20s!!
Have a beautiful evening or day thank y’all for always giving advice and support makes things a lot easier
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Old 09-28-2019, 07:53 PM
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So finally I meet up hopefully in the morning with the mechanic and I’m going to ask him, to check out this banging in front. He’s fixing one thing that the otter mechanic screwed me on,

but I’m tired of the clunks in the front end. So if he figures that part out I’m going to push to go to the parts warehouse immediately and have him fix it same day. Im going to have to make sure I get up early.

This is dragging on and I’m done. I’m gong to tell him ‘dude, please, let’s do this now.’ Otherwise he’ll have to set aside a day. I like to bundle the work because it’s cheaper. Also I was supposed to see him early this morning and I slept till noon. The parts place had a good sale running that’s over today. So I’ll need to pay more and possibly need to give him incentive to DO IT NOW. I don’t want another day to pass. So that’s an extra few hundred, all told.

Then that should definitely be it. Done.

The fact thst my thumb is useless is starting to stress me out. It’s been months. I have my second appointment with the surgeon Oct 3, so he could see what it would do over 30 days. Time for an MRI. I’m afraid I’ve really damaged it. This is no tendon or ligament damage that won’t heal in several months. It’s smashed cartilage or something. I feel like my riding career ended. I don’t even remember what it’s like. I could have broken my leg and been far better off.

My sick friend is suffering and i cant deal with her right now. I want to throw a chair through a f-ing window right now. I’m so frustrated.

Then I've got to get my health in order 🙄. Yeah right.

Sorry I have zero good to report except I don’t drink. My brother and sister have been around and that’s been good. I haven’t heard from the lunatic at the scrap yard yet about my charge back. I hope the f-Er chokes on it.

If can get feeling decent and eat a reasonable diet, I just want out of here. Take off on a motorcycle and not return. Be a drifter. I hate society and The United States is a source of unbelievable angst for me. This country is a s*** show.

First car, then Health then outta here.

VIPER 🐍🔥
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Old 09-28-2019, 10:23 PM
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Morning everyone. Ugh terrible nights sleep! Just made tea and am heading to an early morning AA meeting. It's a gratitude one and its popular apparently. I've never been as usually have Seren f I am home on a Sunday but not today so will put on my new rain mac and head out on this dark, wet morning to show some thanks for sobriety!

What's happening with me? Ok so me and my sis went up to London on friday to go see Belinda Carslise at the paladium. We checked into a travelodge in Covent Garden then went for tea and crepes in the market then hit the shops! But boy, the thought of drinking was on me! It was my first time sober in London since I quit and I was just so used to going up and drinking I think my brain was just expecting it. But the desire was so strong. I really just wanted to sat f$#k it. I felt like I was missing out! I know that is bullsh@t and that is my alcoholism talking but I couldn't shake the damn feeling. Everywhere there were bars and pubs, people drinking everywhere! Big goldfish bowls of g&it's and aperol spritz. All very glamorous and sophisticated looking! I outed my feelings to my sis. She was so supportive . We went for dinner, the thoughts still on me. I had a mocktail. A nojito. It was delish. And it felt more exciting then diet coke. Once my food came I was fine. But when we got to the paladium the bar was rammed. I watched as groups of girlfriends shared bottles of champagne and prosecco. People laughing holding wines and beers. An illusion. But a powerful one. Anyway we watched the show and it was great. She was great. I would never have remembered it if I had been drinking!! Oh and did you know Belinda is a recovery drug addict and alcoholic. Go Belinda! When we got off the tube at Covent Garden there was a big pile of vomit on the platform. Haha, I thanked my HP that wasn't me!

I had a good time but I felt emotionally drained. I slept awful. In the morning I just felt so so grateful that I didn't drink. I dont think I really would have but it's the strongest desire I have had for a while. My sister said no way would she have let me drink. Bless her! But i realised I need AA. I need the programme. I love the spiritual side of the programme and it works for me. So I text a lovely lady who goes to my meetings. She has 17 years of sobriety and has what I want...peace and serenity! I asked if she would take me through the steps and she said yes! Woo hoo. I have a new sponsor. So I am getting straight back into the middle of the lifeboat peeps. I cannot and will not go back to my drinking life and I will do whatever it takes to protect my sobriety.

Anyway I spent so much money eek! the shopping was just too good dammit. But what the hell? My dinner came to £21! Including my mocktail! And I had a coke and bottle of water in the paladium. If I had been drinking I would have spent a fortune. So I am justifying my shopping that way Haha.

Me and my sis got separate trains home as going back to diff places. My train was rammed. I managed to get a seat thank God but a guy came and squeezed in next to me and started chatting. An older, disheveled looking guy. There were loads of football fans on the train. All in good spirits but drinking and loud. I assumed he was one. My tolerance level was LOW. I forget how central London on a Saturday can tests one's patience and I was not in the mood for idle chit chat! So I basically ignored him. But as we pulled into East Croyden I softened up a bit. I had drunk a lucozade so think the sugar fix had mellowed me lol. Started chatting and he asked me what I had been doing in London. Then I asked him. He said he had been drinking solidly on his own for 3 days. I asked why? He said "well because I think I am an alcoholic". I saw the pain in his eyes. He had no socks on and what looked like a hospital wrist band. I said well, hey, welcome to the club. I told him I was in AA. How I hadnt had a drink for 17 months and that life DOES get better no matter how far down tbe scale we have gone. When he got off he squeezed my arm and said "thank you". I pray he finds recovery. And looking at him, the pain in his eyes, hearing how lonely he was. Well I knew that I was only one drink away from that. Maybe we both needed to meet on that train?

So my lovelies there we go. That was my weekend so far. TODAY... I am meeting an old friend for lunch. A really good friend of mine who I havent seen in nearly 2 years because of my crappy behaviour at the end of my drinking. I got in touch with her about a month ago to apologise and she was fine.! And today we are going to meet up.i am so excited to see her. The only downer is I havent seen my baby girl since last sunday because of work and I've had this weekend out but I rarely go out much now so I have to stop feeling guilty. She is with her daddy and is fine. I will pick her up from school tomorrow.

Nichole you are doing so well. Remember to take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. try not to worry about tomorrow. Keep it in the day and get through today only without picking up. Some days will be tougher than others but you can do it.! Stay close.

Erratic am glad you arrived safe and sound. Peppa pig? Hmm dont miss that I must admit 🤣🤣 sounds like you are having g a wonderful time though . Precious times for sure

Hey Daisy! Hope you are holding up ok in this weather . Thank god for tea hey? I absolutely love my tea and couldn't get through these dark, rainy days without it!

Vipe, I think you know what you have to do!

Hi Dee!!

I will message you later and let you know how lunch went. Have a lovely sober Sunday everyone.

Xx
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Old 09-29-2019, 03:49 PM
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So that work is finished. Just the guy decides to point out the ‘frame rot’ where the frame is rusting away on the last day of a month of work. I should have let my sister come in and handle my father to put me in something else 2 months ago. No win scenario. I’m not sure how bad that rot is around the car but one spot is bad enough. It’s a f-ing scrap heap after all that. But I could go for 2 years if I mitigate the rot. I need a damn lift so I can see these things.

Im sitting waiting for some sushi. I’m gonna get some other snacks and find something on Netflix again. Or watch Live PD ridiculousness.

Now I’m on to nothing. Zero plans. How to get out of here. My parents are deteriorating big time. My plan was to be long gone by now. I’m not that selfish but after 30 years of crap and chronic illness, I planned on enjoying myself, far far away.

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Old 09-29-2019, 05:07 PM
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Viper hopefully they can just weld some metal over the rot just s quick patch. I have watch live PD a few times when the show Indiana I’m thinking great way to make the state proud lol.
Snitch glad you got some time to yourself out. I have seen a few alcoholic myself and my heart sunk because I know what there are going through and how it can make you feel so alone.
Daisy how are you doing?
Erratic hopefully your time is lovely with your family!!
Dee how are you??
Another weekend down I love the weekends but sometimes they get little overwhelming. I went out to one of my favorite towns today which unfortunately is a college town. so it’s definitely a party town beer pong table everywhere beer can and whiskey bottles laying in yards bar after bar. made me think about the past but I just want to keep it was the past no need to make more unwanted memories. I’ve been invited for a fall trip to West Virginia to a cabin. I’m pretty positive we are going but it’s an adult only trip no kids I know what the plans are and drinking is definitely one of them. I’m pretty confident I can stay sober but still little worried. I don’t know when is the right time to be around heavy drinking or if it’s still to early and I’ll set myself up for failure? I’m not going to put to thought in it as it’s another weekend away... only thing I know is that tomorrow will be 21 days and it’s been a colorful 21 days
Hopefully everyone has Lovely morning tomorrow
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Old 09-30-2019, 06:33 AM
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Hi Aprils, I miss a day and look at all these posts. I have some serious reading to do. All is good with me, I've had family visiting yesterday, no alcohol involved, just cups of tea. No problem.

Wow Nichole, I'm so impressed but I did always know that you could do it, it's a good feeling isn't it? Nothing beats the feeling of getting up sober and knowing you've done nothing to be ashamed of.
Try not to thing too far forward, just take it one day at a time, that's all you need to do. xxx

Viper, once the frame rot has been done that should be it for a while hopefully.
I didn't mean to trivialise your thumb pain, with you saying that the surgeon wasn't concerned about it I assumed that it must be some sort of tendon or ligament strain ( which is excruciatingly painful by the way) or similar, sorry.
I hope it gets sorted very soon.

Hi Suze, lucky you going to see Belinda Carslisle, it all sounds amazing. I didn't know she was in recovery, good luck to her.
Oh how brilliant, you have a new sponsor, I'm really pleased for you and I hope she's right for you, she sounds it anyway.
It was really kind of you to listen to that guy on the train and I admire your honesty for telling him about your alcoholism. I hope you've inspired him to go and seek out some help.
Enjoy your time with Seren this evening, I bet she can't wait to see you.Enjoy some good quality time with her. xx

See you all later, love always.

Mxx
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Old 09-30-2019, 12:38 PM
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just posting a good night

Been out with gson most of today so totally knackered.

have good night will catch up when can xxx
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Old 09-30-2019, 03:11 PM
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That's a good kind of knackered Erratic, I bet you've spoilt him today. Sleep well. xxxx

Goodnight Aprils. xx

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Old 09-30-2019, 05:46 PM
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Time for a new thread guys

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-12-a.html (Class of April 2018 Part 12)
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