Class of April 2018 Part 11
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn all x
good to see you viper sry about ur friend but was nice of you to help her out x
work was actually not to bad yesterday, seems bit easier with the boss on holiday as ur not worried him looking over your shoulder all the time. so maybe its more relaxed.
On news of doodle again thinking he is doing better, i dont think he is going to pull through this, he eventually went for number 2 around 4 in afternoon and it didnt look right so not sure if he done another one last night as i went to bed early and i have found him sleeping in the living-room in another bed which is unusual for him to be in through the night. so will see how things go again today.
will catch you all later, sry for the bleak message x
good to see you viper sry about ur friend but was nice of you to help her out x
work was actually not to bad yesterday, seems bit easier with the boss on holiday as ur not worried him looking over your shoulder all the time. so maybe its more relaxed.
On news of doodle again thinking he is doing better, i dont think he is going to pull through this, he eventually went for number 2 around 4 in afternoon and it didnt look right so not sure if he done another one last night as i went to bed early and i have found him sleeping in the living-room in another bed which is unusual for him to be in through the night. so will see how things go again today.
will catch you all later, sry for the bleak message x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
14.40
13.31
Good afternoon Aprils and I hope you're all good. I'm having one of those days. Phew, where do I start..
Firstly I did the school run, picking my mum up on the way as she likes me to drop her off in town so she can do her compulsive shopping, I dropped g.son no.1 off at his high school then went to the school that the other 2 go to, we were extra early this morning so I parked up on the roadside near the school, turned the engine off and we sat chatting, I happened to glance up and to my horror saw the van that had been parked quite a bit in front of me reversing towards me, it was like watching something in slow motion, I knew it was going to get me but it was happening so fast I couldn't do anything about it, I didn't even have time to sound my horn. Crash, bang, wallop!! Fortunately we are all okay, just a bit shaken, there isn't much damage to the car that I can see apart from the registration plate being smashed to smithereens. I've got the drivers details etc, I had trouble writing them down because my hands were shaking so much.
Then.... I got home to a fine for driving in a bus lane, me who's miraculously never had a fine in over 40 years of driving! I wouldn't mind but it was on a day when the traffic was particularly heavy and I crossed over right at the end of the bus lane where it merges into the normal road otherwise. Have I told you all that I hate driving and I hate anything to do with cars?
My other whine is about the 'wayward one' again. On Monday my live in g.son's class are going on a trip to a forest where there are little streams and ponds, they are doing pond and stream habitat study and den building. All school trips these days are paid on line via Parentpay app and until recently I had access to the app, but my son decided to take it over as he wanted to have more responsibility, so he did and he changed the password so I have no access to it.
Tuesday's and Thursdays my g,son goes to his daddy's for a few hours straight after school and I pick him up at 7 p.m. Last night I picked him up and he was quiet, which is unusual for him, I asked him if he was okay and he burst into tears. He'd asked daddy if he'd paid for the trip and was told no and that he wouldn't be paying it as he has no money etc. Hmmm, he's managed to buy himself a new all singing, all dancing phone though! I messaged him very politely first thing this morning asking if he'd paid and he hasn't bothered replying.
Anyway, I've phoned school and his teacher phoned me back, the school will arrange for a special parent pay app just for me so I can pay these things. It's all so wrong, daddy pays for nothing, I get no support in any way from him, but I can't have my g.son missing out.
That's it, the moanings done.
I'm sorry Doodle still isn't right Erratic, I hope he picks up. Thinking about you, take care. xx
Hi Dee. x
13.31
Good afternoon Aprils and I hope you're all good. I'm having one of those days. Phew, where do I start..
Firstly I did the school run, picking my mum up on the way as she likes me to drop her off in town so she can do her compulsive shopping, I dropped g.son no.1 off at his high school then went to the school that the other 2 go to, we were extra early this morning so I parked up on the roadside near the school, turned the engine off and we sat chatting, I happened to glance up and to my horror saw the van that had been parked quite a bit in front of me reversing towards me, it was like watching something in slow motion, I knew it was going to get me but it was happening so fast I couldn't do anything about it, I didn't even have time to sound my horn. Crash, bang, wallop!! Fortunately we are all okay, just a bit shaken, there isn't much damage to the car that I can see apart from the registration plate being smashed to smithereens. I've got the drivers details etc, I had trouble writing them down because my hands were shaking so much.
Then.... I got home to a fine for driving in a bus lane, me who's miraculously never had a fine in over 40 years of driving! I wouldn't mind but it was on a day when the traffic was particularly heavy and I crossed over right at the end of the bus lane where it merges into the normal road otherwise. Have I told you all that I hate driving and I hate anything to do with cars?
My other whine is about the 'wayward one' again. On Monday my live in g.son's class are going on a trip to a forest where there are little streams and ponds, they are doing pond and stream habitat study and den building. All school trips these days are paid on line via Parentpay app and until recently I had access to the app, but my son decided to take it over as he wanted to have more responsibility, so he did and he changed the password so I have no access to it.
Tuesday's and Thursdays my g,son goes to his daddy's for a few hours straight after school and I pick him up at 7 p.m. Last night I picked him up and he was quiet, which is unusual for him, I asked him if he was okay and he burst into tears. He'd asked daddy if he'd paid for the trip and was told no and that he wouldn't be paying it as he has no money etc. Hmmm, he's managed to buy himself a new all singing, all dancing phone though! I messaged him very politely first thing this morning asking if he'd paid and he hasn't bothered replying.
Anyway, I've phoned school and his teacher phoned me back, the school will arrange for a special parent pay app just for me so I can pay these things. It's all so wrong, daddy pays for nothing, I get no support in any way from him, but I can't have my g.son missing out.
That's it, the moanings done.
I'm sorry Doodle still isn't right Erratic, I hope he picks up. Thinking about you, take care. xx
Hi Dee. x
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn x
oh daisy what a shamble of a day for you hun x i cant believe that the van never saw your car there! glad you are find but understand how shaken up u must of been, did the driver not say why he didnt see you? On your fine? if you did cross where it shows then i am sure you can whats it called appeal against it as i am sure there would be footage of it and also check to see if there is a sign which gives times that the bus lane is open and closed you be surprised that many drivers dont see it and you can use the bus lane at certain times and they dont. so dont let them drag ur 40yrs of driving down!!!! on your gson i am so glad he has u as its not fair also that your having to pay for his upkeep and your son is not contributing x you know also u could get that changed its not just mum or dads pay child support to each other you could look into getting child support from your son and is he ur son getting child benefit for your gson every month? like we all did and they still can now a days xx
hope today is better for you daisy and u got some sleep.
yet again doodle had a poo last night and yesterday morning so again things are changing with him again, so fingers crossed x
will check in later xx
oh daisy what a shamble of a day for you hun x i cant believe that the van never saw your car there! glad you are find but understand how shaken up u must of been, did the driver not say why he didnt see you? On your fine? if you did cross where it shows then i am sure you can whats it called appeal against it as i am sure there would be footage of it and also check to see if there is a sign which gives times that the bus lane is open and closed you be surprised that many drivers dont see it and you can use the bus lane at certain times and they dont. so dont let them drag ur 40yrs of driving down!!!! on your gson i am so glad he has u as its not fair also that your having to pay for his upkeep and your son is not contributing x you know also u could get that changed its not just mum or dads pay child support to each other you could look into getting child support from your son and is he ur son getting child benefit for your gson every month? like we all did and they still can now a days xx
hope today is better for you daisy and u got some sleep.
yet again doodle had a poo last night and yesterday morning so again things are changing with him again, so fingers crossed x
will check in later xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
23..40
Hi all, checking in before bed and I hope you're all good and well ( and sober). I've had a quiet day today with no drama, I needed it.
Hi Erratic, re my car incident, I don't think the van driver even looked to check if there was anything behind him to be honest. He did actually seem like a decent young man, just a moment of carelessness I suppose. Anyway after checking my car further, the honeycomb grid thing that the reg plate is attached to has been damaged, it's bent and broken and I suppose there could be damage behind that that we can't see. I phoned the insurance company, who were very helpful and cut a long story short, the car is going in a week on Monday to be repaired, they are giving me a courtesey car and they are waiving the excess as it is a 'no fault' claim, so all good there.
Re my fine, it was caught on camera and the road/bus lane belongs to the council, who are renowned for their harshness re motoring offences, they are in this town anyway. I doubt very much that it is worth me appealing, they are mercenary.
Re my g.son, the laws are quite different in England than in Scotland and grandparents have very few rights. My G.son's mum doesn't come into the equasion at all as she lives in another country and speaks little English. She gets nothing at all for him. I know I've said before that my son is a Narcissist and he also very clever, this is a bit hard to explain, he is also a pathological liar ( part of his disorder) he lied even in court to get custody of his son and he comes over as very, very plausible to people who don't know him. He claims child benefits as though the child is with him full time, yet he just has him Saturday through to Sunday evening 90% of the time, the last time I dared to ask him to contribute to his son's welfare it was like world war 3 breaking out. There is always some excuse to why he never has any money, he's up to the eyeballs in debt, etc, etc, etc. I have been involved with Social Services ( who have been useless if I'm honest ) and Caffcass in the hopes of getting guardianship of my g.son but I would have to apply to the courts which would cost a fortune and my son will fight it every inch of the way. He refused to agree to me being a legal guardian because he reckons I'm too old!!! Lol. The best chance I have of getting responsibility of my g.son is if my son gets sent down and as I have a feeling that he is doing cocaine again there is a likelihood of that happening in the non too distant future, so for now I diary everything and keep my eyes and ears open.
That's just a very short summary of events, it would take me a week to write the full story. It's very painful to know what my son's become but I'm much stronger now and no longer in denial.
Anyway, that's enough of me and my probs, how are you doing on your meds?
I hope Doodle is continuing to improve, I've been thinking about him. x
Yesterday was 'one of those days' Dee thank you, but I coped, I got through it and the good thing is, I had no desire to self medicate like I would have done 16 months ago. A cup of tea did the trick. x
Hi all, checking in before bed and I hope you're all good and well ( and sober). I've had a quiet day today with no drama, I needed it.
Hi Erratic, re my car incident, I don't think the van driver even looked to check if there was anything behind him to be honest. He did actually seem like a decent young man, just a moment of carelessness I suppose. Anyway after checking my car further, the honeycomb grid thing that the reg plate is attached to has been damaged, it's bent and broken and I suppose there could be damage behind that that we can't see. I phoned the insurance company, who were very helpful and cut a long story short, the car is going in a week on Monday to be repaired, they are giving me a courtesey car and they are waiving the excess as it is a 'no fault' claim, so all good there.
Re my fine, it was caught on camera and the road/bus lane belongs to the council, who are renowned for their harshness re motoring offences, they are in this town anyway. I doubt very much that it is worth me appealing, they are mercenary.
Re my g.son, the laws are quite different in England than in Scotland and grandparents have very few rights. My G.son's mum doesn't come into the equasion at all as she lives in another country and speaks little English. She gets nothing at all for him. I know I've said before that my son is a Narcissist and he also very clever, this is a bit hard to explain, he is also a pathological liar ( part of his disorder) he lied even in court to get custody of his son and he comes over as very, very plausible to people who don't know him. He claims child benefits as though the child is with him full time, yet he just has him Saturday through to Sunday evening 90% of the time, the last time I dared to ask him to contribute to his son's welfare it was like world war 3 breaking out. There is always some excuse to why he never has any money, he's up to the eyeballs in debt, etc, etc, etc. I have been involved with Social Services ( who have been useless if I'm honest ) and Caffcass in the hopes of getting guardianship of my g.son but I would have to apply to the courts which would cost a fortune and my son will fight it every inch of the way. He refused to agree to me being a legal guardian because he reckons I'm too old!!! Lol. The best chance I have of getting responsibility of my g.son is if my son gets sent down and as I have a feeling that he is doing cocaine again there is a likelihood of that happening in the non too distant future, so for now I diary everything and keep my eyes and ears open.
That's just a very short summary of events, it would take me a week to write the full story. It's very painful to know what my son's become but I'm much stronger now and no longer in denial.
Anyway, that's enough of me and my probs, how are you doing on your meds?
I hope Doodle is continuing to improve, I've been thinking about him. x
Yesterday was 'one of those days' Dee thank you, but I coped, I got through it and the good thing is, I had no desire to self medicate like I would have done 16 months ago. A cup of tea did the trick. x
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn all x
here thinking of you daisy x snitch x viper x nichole x bluesy x
I am starting another day 1 ballsed up this weekend . guess least i am getting past the 3rd day, just have to get passed the 5th grr
got my gp and then alcohol doctor on wed just have to keep trying and doing .
hope u guys are ok x
here thinking of you daisy x snitch x viper x nichole x bluesy x
I am starting another day 1 ballsed up this weekend . guess least i am getting past the 3rd day, just have to get passed the 5th grr
got my gp and then alcohol doctor on wed just have to keep trying and doing .
hope u guys are ok x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning everyone ,
I haven't posted in a bit, I have been really low. Feel anxious, depressed and overwhelmed. Am going to hit a meeting today. I guess this is all part of my sobriety journey. Figuring out me, and how I tick without the anesthesia of alcohol. I may need stronger antidepressants? I haven't spoke to my doctor yet am going to try to do all I can to combat this dark cloud with natural alternatives first. Exercise, diet, sleep, gratitude, helping others, self care. It is hard to get out of the hole though although just sharing has made me feel better already. I can't, WE can.
Congrats Viper on your year! wow buddy, I am so proud of you!!!!!!
Erratic, I hope Doodle is ok.
Daisy, have a wonderful day with your grandson. I feel your frustration with your son but keep reciting that good old Serenity prayer. I got a fine for going in the bus lane once in Brighton. I thought I'm not gonna pay that (oops!) Ended up having bailiffs coming round! Luckily it was during the time I was moving to Brighton so I called the council and told them that i had never received the fine (pinocchio) and that it had probably gone to my old address (which it did) and I was in transition and the juice man allowed me to pay the original fine. By now it had escalated to like £300!!! Phew! Anyway, they are like that here. You can try appeal it. It depends if you can be bothered or not. I've appealed parking tickets, my permit fell off my windscreen once and I got a ticket and i appealed that and nope, they wouldnt budge. I am actually quite grateful I dont have a car today hahaha something else to put on the gratitude list!
Hi Dee hope all good with you.
Sobriety really is a journey not a destination. Thank God I am not drinking today and have no need to take a drink today.
Have a good one everyone, much love x x
I haven't posted in a bit, I have been really low. Feel anxious, depressed and overwhelmed. Am going to hit a meeting today. I guess this is all part of my sobriety journey. Figuring out me, and how I tick without the anesthesia of alcohol. I may need stronger antidepressants? I haven't spoke to my doctor yet am going to try to do all I can to combat this dark cloud with natural alternatives first. Exercise, diet, sleep, gratitude, helping others, self care. It is hard to get out of the hole though although just sharing has made me feel better already. I can't, WE can.
Congrats Viper on your year! wow buddy, I am so proud of you!!!!!!
Erratic, I hope Doodle is ok.
Daisy, have a wonderful day with your grandson. I feel your frustration with your son but keep reciting that good old Serenity prayer. I got a fine for going in the bus lane once in Brighton. I thought I'm not gonna pay that (oops!) Ended up having bailiffs coming round! Luckily it was during the time I was moving to Brighton so I called the council and told them that i had never received the fine (pinocchio) and that it had probably gone to my old address (which it did) and I was in transition and the juice man allowed me to pay the original fine. By now it had escalated to like £300!!! Phew! Anyway, they are like that here. You can try appeal it. It depends if you can be bothered or not. I've appealed parking tickets, my permit fell off my windscreen once and I got a ticket and i appealed that and nope, they wouldnt budge. I am actually quite grateful I dont have a car today hahaha something else to put on the gratitude list!
Hi Dee hope all good with you.
Sobriety really is a journey not a destination. Thank God I am not drinking today and have no need to take a drink today.
Have a good one everyone, much love x x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning everyone.
5 mins before I have to get up and get started! Feeling alot of gratitude for being sober today. I have just been reading my journal from last year. Wow makes some I interesting reading and I can see how far I have progressed but also I can see where I have stagnated. I really feel to move onto the 2nd phase (as I see it ) of my sobriety now.
I didnt go to a meeting yesterday. I ended up going to lie on the beach. It was beautiful. You guys know how I have struggled with AA. I do like the programme but I feel that my sponsor messed my head up a bit. Telling me things like my thinking is screwed and I cant change my thinking and that if I make any decision for myself it is based on self will run riot. I guess she is just sharing what worked for her but man, I think it is dangerous. And I swear, if you think contrary or duration anything then that is your "alcoholism" talking. You know, people in AA are not trained counsellors or professionals and I am glad that I have other sources of recovery otherwise I would be going through life thinking that I am inherently screwed and that I am "living with a murderer" as my sponsor says. I feel relieved I am away from it but also a wee bit nervous as AA is what got me sober. I just had the wrong sponsor I think.
Anyway i am not going to dwell on it anymore. It's done now. If i feel in danger of drinking or if i just feel like i need a meeting or want a meeting Inwon't hesitate to go.
This morning I have my doctors appointment so will discuss some stuff with her. I also have some unresolved trauma from my past. When I was 17 I had a termination. Wow that was hard for me to write. I believe that completely changed me and that was one of the underlying causes of my alcoholism. I feel such guilt and sadness over it. Another thing I carry with me is the guilt of jot seeing my beloved nan before she died. I was right in the middle of active alcoholism, I was having a relationship with an alcoholic which was tumultuous to say the least. I had moved in with and after a big (drunken) fight he kicked me out. My little puma was filled with black bin bags full of my clothes, I could hardly drive and my nan was taken into hospital with pneumonia. She was there for 3 days before I went to see her. 3 ******* days. I was so wrapped up in myself and my problems. We went to the hospital, my dad went straight from work and I drove his car with my mum and brothers and sisters in the car and when we got there my dad was kneeling at her bedside and he just turned to us and shook his head. She was gone. I was too ******* late. My beloved nan, who I was so close to and I was her favourite and i never got to say goodbye or be there for her in her last days well that certainly kept me in the drinking cycle.
Anyway there we have it. The 2 biggest regrets of my life. I have to try to find a way to heal.
Whoa sorry bit heavy for first thing in the mornimg. I didnt plan to write that it just all came out
Today I will not drink no matter what.
5 mins before I have to get up and get started! Feeling alot of gratitude for being sober today. I have just been reading my journal from last year. Wow makes some I interesting reading and I can see how far I have progressed but also I can see where I have stagnated. I really feel to move onto the 2nd phase (as I see it ) of my sobriety now.
I didnt go to a meeting yesterday. I ended up going to lie on the beach. It was beautiful. You guys know how I have struggled with AA. I do like the programme but I feel that my sponsor messed my head up a bit. Telling me things like my thinking is screwed and I cant change my thinking and that if I make any decision for myself it is based on self will run riot. I guess she is just sharing what worked for her but man, I think it is dangerous. And I swear, if you think contrary or duration anything then that is your "alcoholism" talking. You know, people in AA are not trained counsellors or professionals and I am glad that I have other sources of recovery otherwise I would be going through life thinking that I am inherently screwed and that I am "living with a murderer" as my sponsor says. I feel relieved I am away from it but also a wee bit nervous as AA is what got me sober. I just had the wrong sponsor I think.
Anyway i am not going to dwell on it anymore. It's done now. If i feel in danger of drinking or if i just feel like i need a meeting or want a meeting Inwon't hesitate to go.
This morning I have my doctors appointment so will discuss some stuff with her. I also have some unresolved trauma from my past. When I was 17 I had a termination. Wow that was hard for me to write. I believe that completely changed me and that was one of the underlying causes of my alcoholism. I feel such guilt and sadness over it. Another thing I carry with me is the guilt of jot seeing my beloved nan before she died. I was right in the middle of active alcoholism, I was having a relationship with an alcoholic which was tumultuous to say the least. I had moved in with and after a big (drunken) fight he kicked me out. My little puma was filled with black bin bags full of my clothes, I could hardly drive and my nan was taken into hospital with pneumonia. She was there for 3 days before I went to see her. 3 ******* days. I was so wrapped up in myself and my problems. We went to the hospital, my dad went straight from work and I drove his car with my mum and brothers and sisters in the car and when we got there my dad was kneeling at her bedside and he just turned to us and shook his head. She was gone. I was too ******* late. My beloved nan, who I was so close to and I was her favourite and i never got to say goodbye or be there for her in her last days well that certainly kept me in the drinking cycle.
Anyway there we have it. The 2 biggest regrets of my life. I have to try to find a way to heal.
Whoa sorry bit heavy for first thing in the mornimg. I didnt plan to write that it just all came out
Today I will not drink no matter what.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
I'm sure your nan would be thrilled to see you healthy and well and in recovery Snitch.
I had no judgement about the termination - l'm just sorry you're still carrying the guilt so many years later.
I'm not sure if you've tried to work though this in therapy or not, but ,maybe that could be a good way to go?
D
I had no judgement about the termination - l'm just sorry you're still carrying the guilt so many years later.
I'm not sure if you've tried to work though this in therapy or not, but ,maybe that could be a good way to go?
D
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
sry your feeling bad snitch x do hope you can talk to someone, i myself had termination which i was 20 so your not alone hun x sry i havent much words of wisdom or know what to say as there is one lady who hasnt checked in yet and thats daisy she always knows what the right thing to say xx oh and ofcause dee and viper xxx
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Good afternoon to my lovely April family
I hope everyone is doing awesome today and enjoying life’s simple things
Snitch I’m sorry everything feels like it’s weighing you down it’s definitely an uncomfortable feeling but your a very smart and strong lady and I have faith you will work through it and find forgiveness and make peace with everything inside I was very close to my grandpa he was my only father figure and the only one that seemed to care about me we did everything together when I was 15 and got arrested for drinking is the first time I’ve ever seen him cry and made me promise I’d never drink again I did for a short time but fell back into the lifestyle and carried guilt he got very sick I didn’t go see him and when they rushed him to the hospital for his final hours I didn’t show up I was scared and of course drinking played a part I wish I could have told him how much he meant to me and how thankful I was to have me in my life I carried a lot of shame guilt and it ate me alive until the last year I finally made peace with it I know he knew how much I loved him and cared I poured my feelings down onto paper and told him how sorry I was for not being there then decided to burn the paper and put the ashes back into the earth sounds odd but it help I know he is proud that I’m trying and making better decisions in life now I just remember all the wonderful things we done I truly hope you can find something to help and I truly believe your nan is very proud of what you accomplished and how far you came!!!
Hopefully all is well with everyone take care
I hope everyone is doing awesome today and enjoying life’s simple things
Snitch I’m sorry everything feels like it’s weighing you down it’s definitely an uncomfortable feeling but your a very smart and strong lady and I have faith you will work through it and find forgiveness and make peace with everything inside I was very close to my grandpa he was my only father figure and the only one that seemed to care about me we did everything together when I was 15 and got arrested for drinking is the first time I’ve ever seen him cry and made me promise I’d never drink again I did for a short time but fell back into the lifestyle and carried guilt he got very sick I didn’t go see him and when they rushed him to the hospital for his final hours I didn’t show up I was scared and of course drinking played a part I wish I could have told him how much he meant to me and how thankful I was to have me in my life I carried a lot of shame guilt and it ate me alive until the last year I finally made peace with it I know he knew how much I loved him and cared I poured my feelings down onto paper and told him how sorry I was for not being there then decided to burn the paper and put the ashes back into the earth sounds odd but it help I know he is proud that I’m trying and making better decisions in life now I just remember all the wonderful things we done I truly hope you can find something to help and I truly believe your nan is very proud of what you accomplished and how far you came!!!
Hopefully all is well with everyone take care
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
23.15
Hi Aprils, hope you're all okay, I did start posting here this morning but had to go out, so I had to leave it. I went on a trip with my g.daughter's class this morning, she's in the year above my g.son, there is only 5 months between them. We went to watch an amateur dramatic's play at another school, which happened to be the senior school that I went to. ( I had mixed feelings about that, as I didn't enjoy school). The play was 'The Wizard of Oz' and it was really good. We all enjoyed it. I'm doing very well with these school trips.
Hi Dee, good to see you checking on us still, I hope you're well.
Erratic, sorry you drank at weekend but honestly if you can do 3 days you can do 5. Really though you only have to get through today, that's all you have to think about it. I hope all goes well with your appointments tomorrow, let us know.
Suzy, I'm sorry you've been feeling down and I hope you're feeling better now. How did you get on at the Doctor's, I'm glad you had an appointment.
I did have a lovely day yesterday with my grandson, pond and stream dipping, he caught a tiny eel and 4 fish, plus lots of beetles and other pond life. They were all put back into the water once they'd been counted and the children had found out what they were.
Regarding your lovely nan, I'm a great believer in fate. Maybe you weren't meant to be there when she died. Maybe you were meant to remember her as she was before she was ill! I know that if I was very ill I wouldn't want my g.children's last memories of me to be lying sick for days, I would want them to remember me for pond dipping, laughing at the Wizard of Oz and sneaking sweeties to them when they're not allowed.
What I have no doubts about Suze is that your nan would be over the moon to see you sober now and to see what a wonderful mummy you are to Seren. She's be very proud of you.
I think maybe you would benefit from some councelling, maybe your doctor will suggest it. It's worth a try anyway.
Right Suze and Erratic, I had a termination when I was 43 and I have never talked about it to anyone, no one knows ( apart from you lot now.) Yes 43, can you imagine? I got sent to a clinic in Liverpool that carried out terminations and every other patient in there was between 16 and 20, I felt like their mother and I felt so ashamed. I started drinking at 40 and got pregnant at 43 ( I've always been a late starter). I was in a bad place and couldn't see any way out. I beat myself up for years about it and drank myself silly over it. I don't beat myself up about it any more, I don't think about it often now. I know now that I did what was best for me at that time. That's all I could do.
Nichole, how lovely to see you and read your thoughtful post. You are such a kind person. I'm sorry about your Granddad, but he will have known how much you loved him, us grandparents always know that. I love your idea of writing your feelings down on paper, then burning it. That sounds very cleansing.
I hope all is good with you and I hope you are looking after yourself.
I'm going to bed in a minute, so goodnight and sleep well all of you.
Hi Aprils, hope you're all okay, I did start posting here this morning but had to go out, so I had to leave it. I went on a trip with my g.daughter's class this morning, she's in the year above my g.son, there is only 5 months between them. We went to watch an amateur dramatic's play at another school, which happened to be the senior school that I went to. ( I had mixed feelings about that, as I didn't enjoy school). The play was 'The Wizard of Oz' and it was really good. We all enjoyed it. I'm doing very well with these school trips.
Hi Dee, good to see you checking on us still, I hope you're well.
Erratic, sorry you drank at weekend but honestly if you can do 3 days you can do 5. Really though you only have to get through today, that's all you have to think about it. I hope all goes well with your appointments tomorrow, let us know.
Suzy, I'm sorry you've been feeling down and I hope you're feeling better now. How did you get on at the Doctor's, I'm glad you had an appointment.
I did have a lovely day yesterday with my grandson, pond and stream dipping, he caught a tiny eel and 4 fish, plus lots of beetles and other pond life. They were all put back into the water once they'd been counted and the children had found out what they were.
Regarding your lovely nan, I'm a great believer in fate. Maybe you weren't meant to be there when she died. Maybe you were meant to remember her as she was before she was ill! I know that if I was very ill I wouldn't want my g.children's last memories of me to be lying sick for days, I would want them to remember me for pond dipping, laughing at the Wizard of Oz and sneaking sweeties to them when they're not allowed.
What I have no doubts about Suze is that your nan would be over the moon to see you sober now and to see what a wonderful mummy you are to Seren. She's be very proud of you.
I think maybe you would benefit from some councelling, maybe your doctor will suggest it. It's worth a try anyway.
Right Suze and Erratic, I had a termination when I was 43 and I have never talked about it to anyone, no one knows ( apart from you lot now.) Yes 43, can you imagine? I got sent to a clinic in Liverpool that carried out terminations and every other patient in there was between 16 and 20, I felt like their mother and I felt so ashamed. I started drinking at 40 and got pregnant at 43 ( I've always been a late starter). I was in a bad place and couldn't see any way out. I beat myself up for years about it and drank myself silly over it. I don't beat myself up about it any more, I don't think about it often now. I know now that I did what was best for me at that time. That's all I could do.
Nichole, how lovely to see you and read your thoughtful post. You are such a kind person. I'm sorry about your Granddad, but he will have known how much you loved him, us grandparents always know that. I love your idea of writing your feelings down on paper, then burning it. That sounds very cleansing.
I hope all is good with you and I hope you are looking after yourself.
I'm going to bed in a minute, so goodnight and sleep well all of you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Wow, I am blown away by all your responses. So much compassion and courage, sharing all of your own personal experiences.
Thank you all so much. I love this group 💖💖
I have to get yo but will be back later
God bless you all
Thank you all so much. I love this group 💖💖
I have to get yo but will be back later
God bless you all
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
