Daisybelle

G'night Aprillers.

Erratic, please come and talk, we miss you. xx

Dee74

D

Erratic

morn x

sry daisy just really having one of my nothing moments x got my cpn appointment tomo so i am trying not get anxious about that and get worked up. spo i tend to stay like this its its easier to deal with lol looking forward to going to see daughter and gson and just getting away. most of yesterday i sat and watched midsomer murders tv program ,

i am loving this autumn weather x

hope ur gson is doing ok back at school? also i hope u get that new jacket as yup its that time of year now for it. summer did seem to go quickly x

so where is viper and snitch?? hope u 2 are ok? was great to hear from kgirl and nichole x please come back and post xx

Daisybelle

Morning Aprillers, I hope you're all well, its a bit quiet here again, lets not let this little class fold up, it would be a shame. I've seen other classes that have kept going for years so if they can do that, so can we.
The sun is actually shining at the minute, though there are plenty of black clouds up there so I don't think it will be long until we have downpour.
I'm just back from doing my usual morning running about and having a cup of coffee keeping one eye on the cat as she's looking at my feet with an evil glint in her eyes.

Dee

Morning Erratic and being quiet and having a nothing moment is fine, just as long as you don't make a habit of it and isolate yourself. I'm speaking from experience here as that is what I used to do and I still have the tendency to do it. I know you were thinking about going back to the gym, did you do that?
I like Autumn too, I love all the colours, the different shades of reds, greens, browns and golds. Lovely. I like walking in all the leaves too on a crisp day.
My grandson seems to be ok with school, though he doesn't seem to be too impressed with year 5, apparently it's boring, his teacher is too strict and the work is getting harder. It's the first time ever that he's moaned about school, he's always loved it, hopefully he'll settle ( he'll have to.)
Be nice for you to see you daughter and Willem, how are they doing? I bet you see a big change in Willem every time you visit.
I know Snitch has been working somewhere far away and exotic and I'm sure she'll be back as soon as to tell us all about it.


Viper, if you are reading, just check in and let us know how you are please.

See you all later, I'm off to peruse. xx

snitch

Hi guys. Posting from the bus. Aghhhh my stop coming up
will post later 😘😘

xxxNICHOLExxx

Hopefully y’all are good
I said if I would drink again I’d call the doctor well I ended up drinking again and on top of that struggling just to live and not lose my mind I’m having ungodly panic attack and weird feelings and I’m at my breaking point I can’t do it anymore I’m throwing in the towel and giving up on drinking last final time I refuse to die at 30 years old and I refuse to show my kids this lifestyle I called the doctor of course is out this week but lucky I’m friends with her I have her personal number I’m starting back my medication today and calling Thursday for an appointment then hopefully next week she will be back and an open spot the hardest part will be being honest about my drinking my thoughts of self harm and not in touch with reality but I know it has to be done and I’m literally scared to death to see what will happen if I don’t take care of the issue now this is my last day 1 I’m wiping my hand clean from alcohol I’m ready for better things in life
Take care y’all thank you for always being understanding and helpful when my world seems crashing down

snitch

Thanks for sharing Nichole. I am sorry to hear you are struggling but I am glad to hear that you realise you cant do this alone and you are asking for help. This is a huge step and a really important one.

You say you are throwing in the towel. Great! That is exactly what I had to do. I believe I am similar to you in so many ways. I kept trying to stop. I really meant it all those hundreds of times when I said I was never drinking again. I really really did. But then I would feel better and low and behold picking up a drink again because alcohol is a cunning foe. I had to be really beaten before I thre in the towel completely. And 16months ago alcohol had me well and truly beat. I had been given , what they say in AA, the gift of desperation. I had to gold my hands up, surrender and then reach out and ask for help for I knew I could not it by myself.

If you are alcoholic Nichole and it sounds like you are, then you will never ever have this thing beat. Because alcoholics suffer from a 2 fold Illness. A physically allergy, that whenever we imbibe alcohol we start off the phenomena of craving and once we start we cannot stop. So abstinence takes care of that problem. But ...once we put the alcohol down, how do we STAY stopped. Because the 2nd part of the Illness centres in the mind of the alcoholic. The obsession and compulsion to take that first drink even though we know the harm alcohol does to us. That is why a recovery plan is so important.

Speak to your doctor first and be as open and honest as you can. Stay away from tbe first drink one day at a time. Get the alcohol out of your system and get as much rest as possible. After about 10 days you should be over the worst of it a d then you can get started on your recovery.

I am glad you have made the decision to fight for your life. Always here so post if you need me or any one of us!

❤🙏❤🙏

snitch

Hey guys.

Hope everyone is ok?

Fantastic pics of York Daisy. i have decided I am definitely gonna go to York next year! 100%.

Erratic how are things going with you hon?

I have had Daisy day. Meeting this morning, then had to go into town and did another meeting this afternoon. I feel good day but sun/mon I was in self pity. My sister is a big drinker, not alcoholic though and she had a really isy weekend. Dinner and drinks friday night. Drinks Saturday night and lunch on sunday with her girlfriends. I felt envious and full of self pity as I loved socialising and drinking and I was of the "why me?" "Why am I an alcoholic but my sister isnt?" Boo hoo hoo. The amazing thing was I didnt actually want to drink! I know where a couple of drinks will take me and I have no desire to ever go there again! When I did some inventory around my feelings, it wasnt the alcohol I was missing. It is just life. And it goes back to what Dee always says. need to build a life I love. A sober life I love. So I prayed to my HP. 16 months ago I was so desperate to live and get well. My HP gave me a 2nd chance at life and I am going to grab hold of it with both hands.u am going to start organising a night or a day out with my girlfriends at least once month.u want to visit new places and try out new things, find out what I love to do. I accept today that I am an alcoholic with a physical and mental allergy to alcohol. The physical allergy is controlled with abstinence and the mental allergy is controlled by working a recovery plan and living a life I love. And you know what? I do actually love being sober. I really do. I dint actually want to drink which is a miracle beyond miracles and one I am so so grateful for.

I am off to Africa tomorrow. I've had lots of little trips the last month because of my standby. I feel like I am back and forth,back and forth. Part time after this woo hoo.

Thank you for all being part of this group. Grateful for each and everyone one of you.

❤🙏❤🙏

Dee74

I get dizzy reading your itinerary Snitch

Nichole - Snitch's post is gold - i hope you read it...a few times maybe

Erratic- you'e always something/someone to us

Hi Daisy, Vipe ,K girl and anyone lurking

D

Viperidae

Viperidae

Daisybelle

Hi Aprils, I'm in awe of reading these amazing posts from you tonight.

Nichole, I'm glad you posted, there's nothing much that I could add to to the advice that both Snitch and Viper have given you. I can only reiterate every word they said. You are worth so much more than poisoning yourself to death with alcohol. Go do what you need to do, we are all here for you, always. xx

Suze, you are doing an amazing job of turning your life round, I think you just need to be a little kinder to yourself.
Enjoy India, but you must be worn out with all this travelling back and too, so don't forget HALT. Much love to you and have a safe journey. xx

Viper, you're sounding so much better I'm glad to say and I'm glad you're getting your car sorted. Onwards and upwards. xx

Hi Erratic, I hope your day has been a good one and I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. xx

I'm off to bed now so goodnight all. xxx

snitch

Morning all.

Sorry about all my typos! I use my phone and I was so tired last night i couldn't go back and re read and just done it now. I was laughing when it said I had a Daisy day! I meant a busy day, but hey I'll take a Daisy day anytime 🤣🤣 and thanks Daisy I will be kinder to myself. You know, I always believed if I could only stay off tbe booze for about 3 months then my life would be all sorted out by then. Ha! The recovery progress is a life long journey. But one I am bloody glad I am on.

I will message you guys later from Africa 🦓🐅🐆

Daisybelle

Good morning all, I'm just back from doing my usual and I'm having a sit down with a coffee whilst I post and have this time to myself. I hope you're all okay.
I don't think I told you what my g.son said about his daddy after being with him at weekend. He announced that daddy now smokes tea bags!!!At first I thought does he mean the green stuff but no, apparently after having making himself a cup of tea he rips open the tea bag and puts the leaves in his roll ups, just ordinary tea . That's a new one on me, I'll stick to drinking it. No wonder I've thought that he smells like a bonfire a few times when I've picked my g.son up. Seriously, am I missing something, what is it all about?

Ha ha Suze, you had me wondering with your 'Daisy day' I went back and read a couple of earlier posts to see what I'd written, lol. It's easy done when you're posting from your phone, I make loads of mistakes.
Yeah recovery is a life long journey, but if we carried on drinking how long a life would we have?
I look forward to hearing about Africa, take care. xx

Thinking about you today Erratic, I hope all goes well. xx

Back later, love to all. xxxx

Erratic

afternoon x

appointment went well and will hear soon when i will have my first appointment with a nurse who will be suited to my needs.

good to see u nicholex hope your ok today? great to hear from you viper and snitch also.

good to see ur post also daisy, yeah never heard about the teabag smoking? is he skint? actually just thought i was watching that program about the best smallest prison which is based in isle of man and yeah im sure i heard that they do that there hmm. hope you have had a good day x

will just leave it there, back to work tomo morn x

Dee74

smoking tea leaves is an old student trick, Daisy strictly for those times when you can't scrounge up enough for a packet of cigs.

It tastes awful and you end up spitting out little tea bits for hours afterwards

I can't imagine anyone doing it for pleasure or by preference

D

Erratic

early morn check in x

also early morn check out lol sry half a sleep and not sure what to say this morn. need to grab another cup of tea.

here thinking of you all xx

Dee74

have a good day erratic

D

snitch

Morning April's

I am in Lagos, Nigeria!

The flight here is short for us Worldwide crew. Only 6 hours and very busy. Which is ok because time flies. Literally! I was so tired when I got to my room I couldn't keep my eyes open and was asleep by 9 so had a really good nights sleep. But I did have a drinking dream strangely enough. I dreamt that i was watching some footage of me drunk on a phone and seeing stuff I had got up to in blackout. Weird! That is not something I would like to see 🤣And then I dreamt I was drinking champagne and had been doing so all through my sobriety so I had been lying to everyone about how long I had been sober for. Thank God it was just a dream and it was funny cos in the dream I didnt actually enjoy drinking 😀

Awww Daisy, year 5 for your grandson. Yeh it must start getting harder. But hopefully he will get used to it as he settles in. Seren is enjoying her new school so far. She seems to take it all in her stride which I am grateful for. I think it is me that worries more. My experience of school was not that great and I have to keep in mind that her experience isn't necessarily going to be the same as mine. Her dad absolutely loved school so he has no concerns over her. But all is good so far.

Erratic when is your visit to your daughter and grandson? How is your daughter doing now?

Nichole how are you doing today?

Hi Vipe and Dee

I love autumn too. Although I miss the summer. It goes too quick in the UK because not everyday is like a summers day there. But I have just ordered a rain max for myself and got a new umbrella and need to get one for Seren too as her new school is a longer walk than her old one so we need to be prepared for rainy days!

Oh and today is 2 weeks of my no sugar, no junk food and no refined carbs and I have lost nearly 5lbs! And I feel so much better mood wise.

Not much to do today. It is raining here so am going to do a workout and some yoga in my room and if it clears up I will sit by the pool otherwise it's a netflix kinda day.

I hope everyone had a good day

xxxNICHOLExxx

Howdy y’all
Thanks for the amazing advice and support and snitch your 100% right every time I try I really do mean it and I really do try it’s just I literally can’t do it with just saying I’m not going to drink
It’s only day 3 which I’ll take that over being hungover any day more I think about sobriety the more I realize life is to short to drink it away and be miserable and I’m realizing and seeing you fine people that life goes on without alcohol I had a short talk with the husband about my drinking which kind of upset me but I guess I shouldn’t of thought he would support me he basically said he could careless if I drank myself to death well good thing I’m not doing this for him I’m doing it for me and my kids
Hopefully everyone has a lovely beautiful day take care