Bekindalways

Mornin all,

Ayers, I hope Monday is coming to an end for you and wasn't too bad.

Thanks for saying my nephews are lucky. Deciding not to drink was really inspired by the two of them along with my other nieces and nephews too of course.

We all seem to have the various primal drives in different intensities. Sex drive I don't have too much of but bonding with children I have to a huge extent. Being with these kids makes me so happy.

They are often hilarious. The 12 year old is asking lots of questions about trains. The 16 year old packed some 30 lbs of books a large percentage of which are about goats. He is currently reading and taking notes. They are such delightful weirdos and I get to watch them grow up.

May you all find something to chuckle about today!

Ayers

Tuesday morning . Woke up at 4:15

Bee, they sound delightful and interesting. I love how children can show such all consuming interest in certain things. Just lovely that they have you to indulge in it with them. I suppose you have read it, but if not, please read My family and other Animals by Gerald Durell.

The goat story reminds me of the author and all his animals while they were in Corfu. It was a prescribed book while my son was at school - and I loved it . Really loved it.

Monday was mildly successful - got some stuff done.

I have an urge to get out my canvasses and paints - I know I have been saying so for a long time - but life gets in the way each time I consider it.

I love old mosaics , the kind on old floors and ceilings in ancient buildings and I have a blank canvas above my bed - just hung it even though it's blank - and I feel like doing a painting of an old mosaic floor from a temple on it.

Still reading "Everything is F'ed" - still enjoying it. It is not centered on , but also touches on alcoholism and why we/the people in this world suffer form hopelessness at some stages in our lives , and how to overcome it. I started reading it to get to some answers about the anhedonia I experience - and it has given me some real answers. Good read. Beware, though, he calls a spade a $%^&*( shovel.

Love and hugs to all of you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Red78

So I kinda failed being sober on the weekend which was a long weekend and drank about a bottle of wine each night.. Miraculously I had the most productive weekend I've had in ages, not sure how I managed that but I did.

I have made a deal with a colleague to do junk free June which includes no alcohol, so I'm starting again at day 1.
Tonight I'm going to a spiritual awareness circle so I definitely know I won't be drinking, today will be the easy day, tomorrow night might be a bit harder.

I am posting in June newcomers but will also post here. Tbh I haven't managed to read all your posts as of late but will do so when I have some time to catch up where everyone's at..

Ayers

Keep trying, Red. Don't give up.

Sunflower84

Morning all,

7:50am here.

I'm still feeling good but struggling with tiredness, I know its so normal in these early days though so I'm just accepting what is and patiently (not so patiently) waiting for it to pass over me and my energy to come back.

Bekind, hope you had a lovely trip to the mountains with your nephews, sounds very nice.

Alice, the riding club sounds awesome, horse riding and food, perfect combo! How did it go with the lady looking for someone to watch her boys? Any good?

Morning Ayers, hows your start to the week been? Hoping you're feeling positive and happy today.

Zoey, I just ordered the sleeping remedies today so I'll let you know how they work once I get them. How are you today?

Thinking too of Red, Darkling, Zoey, Barbs, Doubledee, Caramel, Mike, Bob, David and anyone else I've missed...

Well my new dining table came yesterday so I have a lady collecting the old one this morning, I just advertised it as free for who ever can collect, it needs a little tic so only fair. Then I'm taking my other laptop in for repair and to order a battery for this laptop, I have to have the charger plugged in all the time with this one so it's bit of a pain. So they'll both be fully working again this week.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, I have my 1 to 1 session with the spiritual healer at 12pm then a cuppa with a friend who is also having an appointment with the same lady and then after work me and my bf are out for t together.

Today is mostly working, going to get a shower now then walk Zygi and start work at 9:30am.

Have a lovely day everyone

Much Love xxxxx

Sunflower84

Red, must of posted at the same time.
So glad you're still with us!
Well done for coming back. me and you slip up but we never give up!
Pat on the back to us and lets bloody do this! We can do it!!!!
Also I notice we both have a spiritual thing going on this week, I have an appointment tomorrow with a spiritual healer.
We must share notes after it and see how we get on.

So genuinely pleased you're still with us Red.

Thinking of you and sending tons of love xxx

Red78

I just got back my circle.. Tonight we focused on how we receive intuitive guidance, then we had to get into groups and pull an oracle card and give a person in the group a reading, it was pretty cool..
It was nice to meet new people as well. I noticed too that I'm getting over my anxiety of speaking to a group of people, there was 16 people and we had to talk about ourselves and where we were on our spiritual journeys, a few years ago I would've got so nervous and felt sick and my lip would've quivered but now I don't even get butterflies so I'm kinda proud of myself...

Good luck with your healing tomorrow, what kind of healing does she do (I'm just assuming it's a woman by the way lol)

Aliceiw

Hey all --

Red, I'm glad you're still here! Very pleased you're gonna stay with it and with us. It's funny that you mention the oracle cards. I awoke from a dream this morning that I pulled a card from a deck and turned it over and it was the queen of hearts, but with my face instead of the queen. I keep my old Rider tarot deck nearby all the time, and occasionally read a spread. There is a lot of wisdom in those old archetypes.

Well, I met with the woman who wants someone to watch her two boys. I'm not sure it's going to work out. Her oldest child was throwing tantrums, being really defiant and climbing all over everything in my house. Her little one was sweet and adorable. She's from Germany and her children speak no English, so part of my job would be to help them with language. One thing that's kind of strange to me is that she wants to come with them for three weeks to transition them to my care. I can't imagine that would work well considering the clingy one, but she says that's how they do it in Germany. I think it would make the transition harder and make me feel very self-conscious. So I told her I'd do it for $20 an hour. I'm not sure how she felt about that, so we'll see how it goes.

Happy Tuesday

Bekindalways

Oh oh oh Ayers! I'm pretty sure one of the 30 lbs of books was a Gerald Durrell. I read them to him when he was a little teeny guy and so now any of GD's books are his comfort books. They are the best. My nephew liked animals and I liked English lit so Durrell was something we came together on.

I'm hacking away at internment/parties/family and continue to be stressed. Sigh. I will survive this . . .it just is a challenge.

So off to look into finances, call a cousin and ask again about the guest list such as it is.

Yeehaw . . . not really.

Sunflower84

Good Morning,

5:35am Wednesday.

Red, sorry I didn't have chance to reply yesterday, really glad you enjoyed the spiritual group and I understand it helping with the anxiety, I felt the same over the staff meeting at my new job, any group meetings I've been to and my work in the restaurant in general, these situations are obviously helping us. I'm kind of new to all this spiritual healing stuff so here's her description from her website, will make more sense than I will lol ...
"Personal Growth
with spiritual perspective
Heart centred support for your evolution

Helping you to break through your limitations, find
soul & connect with you as you were born to be.
​
These sessions could be for you if you are looking for
guidance and support for your emotional challenges,
awakening journey or because you feel something is
missing and you don't know what. This is a place
where you can explore and invite in mystical experience, deep self awareness, explore your past or shape your
future. Perfect for students of Reiki and people who
can't find the answers they need to bring in the change
they know they need. "
So this is what I'm going for, 12pm today, I can't wait. I had a sacred healing massage with her on my Birthday and she does a short consultation beforehand, in the consultation she picked up on so many personal things in my life I just felt I wanted to explore this more.
How are you feeling today? You are doing well, overcoming anxiety, working on yourself at spiritual events, I really believe we will crack this Red so lets stay close and keep on marching!!! Strength to you.

Morining Ayers, I'm loving the sound of the painting, a mosaic from a temple floor, please do it and send us a pic! Sounds lovely. Still intrigued by your book too. I just received Jason Vales, Kick the drink easily so I'm putting down my current reading and starting this one, I can't seem to get into reading at the moment which is frustrating as I want to read these books so much, just can't seem to get into it right now. What are your plans today? Working? Any plans for the coming weekend?

Alice, sorry the possible work with the family didn't go too well, I understand you completely though, I'd feel the same, I agree that it would be best the Mum out of the way so they can get used to being away from her and being in your environment and with you instead and having the Mum there constantly would make anyone feel self conscious so I'm with you on this one. What dates your wedding again? I can't remember, so looking forward to seeing a pic from the day, so exciting Have you stuck with the dress you posted the other day? Looked beautiful so let us know. Hope you have a lovely day Alice.

Bekind, sounds like you have a lot on but as always you take it all in your stride and manage it so well. I imagine you to have a real calming aura around you, would love to meet you, such a shame we're all so far away from each other. How long are you with your nephews? Sending lots of love.

Please let us know how you are Zoeydog, Barbs, Darkling, Bob, Doubledee, Mike, David, Caramel...???????

Well it's now 5:55am, I'm still in that waking feeling hungover and pretty **** mode right now. Physically drained but mentally so happy and positive. I think with work going much better so being able to buy things for the house has really picked me up. With the drinking I have lists of things to get, do, buy etc and they never get ticked off, well this month I managed to get the stair carpet fitted, dining table, ceiling lights, more painting done, some shelves for the living room ordered and my laptop fixed... later this week we're getting the things for the garden, wall paint, decking varnish and a chiminea and bbq. Sorry, probs boring listing all that but with as stagnant as life has been under a blanket of alcohol I'm proud and happy to be able to do this, to improve our home and surroundings, means a lot to me.

Today I have my spiritual session at 12pm, after it I meet a friend who coincidentally has the same appointment at 1pm, so we're meeting at 2:30 for a herbal tea in town. I'm also getting a new battery for this laptop so I'm taking the money into the computer place for that this morning. We may go out for t tonight but not too sure, will see how me and my bf feel after work. He starts another new job today lol, he hated where he was and just got offered job working in this town and on a higher wage, its only for 4-5 weeks though so I worry that he won't have something lined up for when it finishes. I hope that won't happen.

Sat here looking at my new book but for some reason cannot get into reading at the moment. Going to have a coffee with my bf now, he's just getting up, starts work at 7:30am.

Wishing you all a wonderful sober Wednesday.

Tons and tons of love xxxxxxx

Ayers

Wednesday morning

Morning all.

Bee, I thought you might know Gerald Durell well That book made/makes me want to visit Corfu so much. You sound busy, as always, hope all the planning for the internment goes well? And having to contend with your mother's girlfriends as well, who are no doubt giving you their penny's worth?

Kitty, enjoy your session today at 12 and the tea after with your friend. Please let us know how it went. I am quite interested in stuff like that. Don't know anything about the cards you and Alice talk of, have neverr had any readings or anything done - but starting to put my toes in the water.

There's a pshycologist in the area - one of my other shrink friend's yoga group - who does numerology. My other friend had it done, and it is spot-on. She wanted to drop the one "e" at the end of her name, and this lady was in a tizz over that, said she canNOT do that - it wil influence her numbers. LOL. Well, dunno, maybe there's something to it? I will investigate further and might do it myself too.

Alice,n that lady would drive me bonkers. Getting to know the children and getting them to trust you is a task in itself - but having to contend with some strange fraulein hanging around your house for 3 weeks - I don't think I could do that.
Counting down the days now to D-Day - or should I say W-day?? Hee-haw !!

Really feels as though we have a private pen-pal group going here, with just the few of us posting. Oh well, I'm still enjoying it very much and will still be around for quite a long time- I could not do this without checking in and catching up each day. Appreciate each one of you sharing each day.

I found a wonderful herbalist lady yesterday. She has been in our area for ages, apparently, but I never knew of her. Went in search of Rosehip oil and walked out with much much more - oops. She also noticed my winter hands/chillblains on my one hand and gave me something for that too.

I enjoy making my own facial oils/serums. I feel so rich when I "annoint" myself after each bath . Also believe very very strongly in the power of aromatherapy - so love playing around with essential oils.

Kitty, yes, I'm still grinding away at the office work each day - but not the whole day - that would cause a definite spiritual decline in me . You got a whole lot done yesterday and this week !!! Your list must just about be filled with "done"-ticks by now.

Love and hugs to you all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

zoeydog

Alice, good luck with the job prospect. I suspect if it falls through you won't be too sorry! Sounds like a challenge …

Hang in there Bekind! You've got this.

Kitty, enjoy your spiritual session. That must be a really solid help with sobriety.

Ayers, what do you use rosehip oil for? We have a great herbal shop here, too. I've only been in a couple of times, for lavender oil. But I've never really explored the shop. I should!

My kids are gone. That always makes me sad. But we had an amazing visit and really spent great time together. The little one is stuck in LaGuardia airport because of a missed connection -- spent the night at the gate! I offered a hotel room, but he just stretches out on the floor (yuck!) and sleeps. Hope he gets out this morning.

Nice to check in with everyone. Wishing you all a great Wednesday!

Aliceiw

Good morning everyone!

Zoey, I'm sorry your visit with your kids is done and that it's making you sad. I hope you find some fun things to become involved with this week to give you a change of spirit.

Well, Ayers, since you said you don't know much about the cards, but you are interested in them, I meditated on you this morning -- conjuring images related to past posts you've made, and pulled a card for you. It was a very good one! The three of cups. Cups cards generally deal with matters of the heart. Your card portrays a picture of the story of the wedding of Eros and Psyche. The threes in every suit represent an initial stage of completion. The card indicates that an initial phase of a journey has now been achieved and a new dimension of life is unfolding and there is a feeling of joy. The card represents a joyous experience of life, a celebration of life and a new beginning, but the message is -- enjoy it while you can. There is a good deal more to come before the journey is over -- both happy and sorrowful. The journey is not yet finished, and hard work lies ahead. This is a beginning -- an initiation into the hearts deeper levels of experience and a herald of further explorations in the future.

Obviously, I can see how the card fits for you. Isn't it funny that that's the one that came up? That happens all the time.

Kitty, doesn't it feel so great to check items off of lists? I'm a list maker too, and yeah...they get longer and longer with no feeling of accomplishment when we're drinking. I don't ever get tired of getting up in the morning and getting things done! Keep us posted on how your session goes. It sounds interesting.

Well, I heald back from the fraulein. She's decided she wants to place her children in a daycare with other children around. I'm a little disappointed, but not terribly so. Yeah....it would have really been awkward having her here for three weeks before she felt comfortable leaving the boys here alone. I remember the feeling of trying desperately to do the exact right thing for the little lives you've been entrusted with, so I wish her luck.

Well, I'm having a bit of a conundrum this week. I went to my doctor a few days ago because I wanted to have my hormones tested. As I suspected, I am very low in one particular hormone that deals with energy levels and weight distribution. My doctor, however, won't consider therapy for me because my cholesterol is, in her opinion, high. I read about my numbers, and although they would be considered high for a healthy 30-year-old, for a postmenopausal woman of my age , they're normal. I talked to her about this, and she says it's too dangerous to do the therapy because it will cause me to have higher cholesterol. I called another doctor -- one who specialises in hormones and she was shocked. She said the therapy is just what I need and that it will help to lower my cholesterol. I love my old doctor, but I'm thinking of going with the advice of the new doctor because I really hate feeling sluggish and I totally hate the weird way I gain weight since having my hysterectomy. All in the thighs and butt. Blech! Well, we'll see how it goes.

Have a great day

Ayers

Awww Alice !!! I've had my first reading. With YOU >Jaaayyy. And I liked what I heard. Amazing. Thanks for that, girl, an unexpected lovely surprise.

I think it is best that Frau Rottemeier took a hike. I can imagine that she might just have pushed you to consider some Not-so-nice actions toward her after a week or two.

I would listen to my gut feel about the doctor episode. Well, you already did, really, by going for a second opinion. I have also heard that hormones can be more beneficial than not for women over a certain age.
If you still feel unsure, why not go for a third opinion?

Zoey, it's sad that your boys' visit has come to an end. i can just imagine how empty and quiet the house feels now. I had a giggle about him sleeping on the floor infront of the gates - boys are actually such easy-going, resilient , wonderful beings. A daughter ( well, mine anyway) would have defo gone for the hotel option )

The Rosehip oil - apparently known for it's great anti-ageing properties. I suspect I have left it a bit late - at 57 haha, but anyway, will give it a go. I have a recipe for face oil and needed that to make a new batch. Great fun , if you are into such things. Google homemade facial oils and serums. XXXXXXXXXXX

Sunflower84

Morning,

Day 11 for me today and I'm feeling really good.

7:35am, been awake since around 3:45am! Boo decides to pretty much jump on my head and rub himself on my face constantly around this time, driving me a bit bonkers lol but he's only a baby still so letting him off a bit.
I got out of bed at 5am, as I said I'm feeling good but tiredness is a big issue but I know it'll soon pass.
Yesterday was wonderful, the spiritual healing session is hard to explain really, Jane firstly chatted with me and then she said its body work I need, that my body hasn't healed from certain pain and past trauma and that I need to switch my mind off and get into my body to then go through a healing process... So she put me into a meditation style of consciousness, lots of crystal healing, chanting, massage and talking of past painful events and using methods to release that energy from my body... A few tears gently came as we carried on which I assumed was a good sign, a sign of release... My friend had her appointment after me and she experienced the same few quiet tears. I came out with feeling I can't quite explain, I know it was and is a good feeling but I guess I'm still working it out for myself. So I have booked another session in two weeks. Jane is quite sure once I have gone through a real healing process that I will then allow myself to be happy, she thinks I don't feel I deserve to be happy and that will change and therefor I shouldn't then want to poison my body the way I do. Keeping a very open mind and just seeing how it goes but loved the feelings I experienced yesterday.
Again work went very well, I've just ordered a lovely new tall house plant to go next to the dining table I'm sat at now.
Today I meet a lady I've spoke with on the Club Soda Facebook group, she lives nearby so she's heading over and we're meeting for a coffee and chat. Tonight me and my BF are going to the restaurant where I work for dinner, the food there is so nice and he will love it so we're there at 7pm.

So things are good right now, just need to get over this feeling I get when things are this good. I start to feel I'm on egg shells waiting for something awful to happen, it's like I just will not allow myself to accept this can be real, this cn be possible and most importantly this can last... I'm not sure why this happens to me but I'm hoping more healing and more sober time will lead me to the answer or it'll just fizzle out and I'll learn to accept feeling happy.

Ayers, great that you found the local herbalist, I'm always at the one here, Rosehip oil sounds interesting and making your own serums is awesome! If you have an easy one for me to try then please do share

Zoeydog, How are you today? Have you any plans to fill the void now the kids have headed off? Lovely to hear you had such a nice time together. You're absolutely right, the spiritual sessions are a huge help with staying sober. Hope you're ok today and have some nice plans for the weekend.

Alice, Loved reading of the card you selected for Ayers, how interesting! Yep ticking off things on lists is soooo satisfying. Hoping you get sorted with the Doctor and get the right treatment for you, let us know.

7:52am now... Very tired this morn so I' going to get dressed now and have a walk with Zygi to pull me round before work.

Be great to hear from you Barbs and Darkling if you're reading???

Lots of Love to you all!!!!

HAPPY SOBER THURSDAY

XXXXXXXXXX

Ayers

Thursday morning (nearly afternoon)

Kitty, I was so excited to hear how it went yesterday. So glad it was a good experience.

Maybe you should try and write everything down that she said - for future reference - sometimes it fades from memory , good to have to read through again later.

This See the link here, what she said and how you feel? I think she was spot on - allowing yourself to be happy.

Verrrry quiet here today - hope to hear some news from all the other lovies.

Here's my recipe for my face oil/serum . You can google lots of other combo's. It's fun making them and only takes a couple of minutes.

Firming and Anti-Age:
(Morning and night)

2 Tablesps Rosehip Seed oil
2 Tablesps Sweet Almond oil - these are your "carrier" oils. I also added a tbsp Grapeseed oil - because the Rosehip is quite thick.

10 Drops Cypress essential oil
10 Drops Geranium " "
7 Drops Frankincense " "

Mix together. Put in a dark coloured bottle > I like those ones that come with a dropper in the lid.(Get mine at the pharmacy)

Enjoy. But speak to your shop-lady and read up about it beforehand. You might prefer other ess oils.

Have a luverly day XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sunflower84

Wonderful Ayers, Thank you!

For the recipe and taking the time to notice what Jane said in relation to how I'm feeling

I wished you lived close by, I'd be calling in to see you every day haha.

xxxxx

Sunflower84

Red, How are you?????? xxx

Red78

I love making lotions and potions.. I make my own, I've made a facial oil with frankincense, good for wrinkles and palmarosa, good for hydrating skin, mixed with apricot oil or coconut oil. I use essential oils a lot they are very powerful plants medicine and smell so wonderful.

zoeydog

On the fly to work but wanted to wish everyone a happy Thursday! Can't wait to try lovely serums! Kitty, 11 days is absolutely amazing! You should be so proud of yourself. Ayers, fun to have your cards read … can't wait to hear about your future explorations! Good morning Alice and Red!