Class of August 2018 Part 11
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Coming to the end of day 42 for me.. People at my work think I'm just doing dry July and keep asking if I'm gonna drink come the 1st Sept, some have even said that I've done well already and hit over a month and should go home and drink, some have even said that they will think of me while they are drinking their glass or 3 of wine tonight. I'm glad I'm at day 42 and not day 2 as this would've been very very hard for me to cope with back then.
Others are very supportive and think I'm doing great especially since it's 42 days for both drinking and smoking. I do advertise that I'm not drinking so I guess I should expect it lol
Kitty are you around? How are you doing?
You too Alice, how are feeling about it all today?
Xxoo
Others are very supportive and think I'm doing great especially since it's 42 days for both drinking and smoking. I do advertise that I'm not drinking so I guess I should expect it lol
Kitty are you around? How are you doing?
You too Alice, how are feeling about it all today?
Xxoo
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Thanks, guys.
I'm feeling physically much better today. The effects of the panic attack are finally subsiding -- no more palpitations, blood pressure is back to normal. Whew! I haven't had a full blown panic attack like that in a long time. I think it's because I had a lot invested in believing that my husband was a sincerely honest person who is true to his word. It's hard to have something in your belief system blow apart suddenly like that. But I'm not going to drink anymore over it. Believe me, I know that will only make things worse.
I'm working on reframing my way of being in the world based on this new information about my spouse. I've told him that he is free to continue a relationship with his ex, or any of his exes, if he derived value from that. I'm not bothered by jealousy, but i just want to be able to know the truth of whatever he's doing. And too, I'd want to know -why- he wanted to maintain those relationships. Is it for reasons of simple friendship and support of a kind he can't get from me? If so, I guess that's fine. It wouldn't be fine if he were maintaing the relationships in the hope that they might move into being romantic involvements again.
Red, I would be devastated if I'd found out what you found out about your partner! And again, just like I am now with my partner, I would be asking myself, Why does he need that? What value is he getting out of it that is so good that he's willing to sacrifice having a good relationship with me?
One thing I think , with my husband, is that he has a need to feel like he's helping people -- especially women-- especially damsels in distress. If I'm honest, that's probably what a lot of his attraction to me was about when we first got together. I was a mess. He gives himself a lot of the credit for helping me to quit drinking. And he did help me...or at least he was there for me as I went through the major struggles of quitting in the early days of sobriety.
So based on what I know now, I think what led him to reconnect with his ex was that she mentioned that she was having problems with her job. He, being the kind of guy who is attracted to that, jumped in to try to give her advice. It's his own kind of neediness that makes him want to see himself as the wise and logical advice give, the rescuer. For him, I think that's all it was, but, Red, in your situation I'd be questioning whether he was maintaining his prior relationships in hopes of getting sex from those women at some time in the future. That would upset me GREATLY. I don't blame you for being and continuing to be devastated. How are you going to move forward in such a way as to protect your emotions and your interests? That's what I'm figuring out for me right now.
Anyway, I'll check back later. My boys are arriving soon so I have to go now. Have a good day!
I'm feeling physically much better today. The effects of the panic attack are finally subsiding -- no more palpitations, blood pressure is back to normal. Whew! I haven't had a full blown panic attack like that in a long time. I think it's because I had a lot invested in believing that my husband was a sincerely honest person who is true to his word. It's hard to have something in your belief system blow apart suddenly like that. But I'm not going to drink anymore over it. Believe me, I know that will only make things worse.
I'm working on reframing my way of being in the world based on this new information about my spouse. I've told him that he is free to continue a relationship with his ex, or any of his exes, if he derived value from that. I'm not bothered by jealousy, but i just want to be able to know the truth of whatever he's doing. And too, I'd want to know -why- he wanted to maintain those relationships. Is it for reasons of simple friendship and support of a kind he can't get from me? If so, I guess that's fine. It wouldn't be fine if he were maintaing the relationships in the hope that they might move into being romantic involvements again.
Red, I would be devastated if I'd found out what you found out about your partner! And again, just like I am now with my partner, I would be asking myself, Why does he need that? What value is he getting out of it that is so good that he's willing to sacrifice having a good relationship with me?
One thing I think , with my husband, is that he has a need to feel like he's helping people -- especially women-- especially damsels in distress. If I'm honest, that's probably what a lot of his attraction to me was about when we first got together. I was a mess. He gives himself a lot of the credit for helping me to quit drinking. And he did help me...or at least he was there for me as I went through the major struggles of quitting in the early days of sobriety.
So based on what I know now, I think what led him to reconnect with his ex was that she mentioned that she was having problems with her job. He, being the kind of guy who is attracted to that, jumped in to try to give her advice. It's his own kind of neediness that makes him want to see himself as the wise and logical advice give, the rescuer. For him, I think that's all it was, but, Red, in your situation I'd be questioning whether he was maintaining his prior relationships in hopes of getting sex from those women at some time in the future. That would upset me GREATLY. I don't blame you for being and continuing to be devastated. How are you going to move forward in such a way as to protect your emotions and your interests? That's what I'm figuring out for me right now.
Anyway, I'll check back later. My boys are arriving soon so I have to go now. Have a good day!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Congrats Red !!! 42 days are a LOT of days . Great stuff.
I also find it jarring when people say things like - "well, I'll have a drink or 3 on you" etc, but at the end of the day , I'm always grateful that I didn't partake or join in.
We had a birthday party a month or so ago at a Gin distillery - and as I sat there, looking at all their tasting glasses that still had to be tasted - I honestly thought - pheww , so glad it's not me.
Alice, so glad you are feeling better physically, and you seemed to have sorted this thing out - the way you describe him as being a person who loves "saving" others. As long as you are comfortable with his explanations .
Went to a funeral today - one of my friends' husband. Was very sad, of course. Made me sit there and think : So this is it. We live. And we die. And then that chapter is closed. Done. Dusted.
Made me realise how absolutely grateful we have to be every single day to be granted another day full of opportunities. To DO stuff, while we have the opportunity to do it. Because it could all be over before you've had the chance. I am so guilty of postponing stuff, thinking I've got lots of time - I'll phone so and so tomorrow, I'll send so and so a message when I'm in the mood . While sitting there I thought of how I intended to drop off a meal at her house - intended ... never did it.
Kitty, how are you doing? Please keep us posted.Thinking of you.
Lots of love to all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I also find it jarring when people say things like - "well, I'll have a drink or 3 on you" etc, but at the end of the day , I'm always grateful that I didn't partake or join in.
We had a birthday party a month or so ago at a Gin distillery - and as I sat there, looking at all their tasting glasses that still had to be tasted - I honestly thought - pheww , so glad it's not me.
Alice, so glad you are feeling better physically, and you seemed to have sorted this thing out - the way you describe him as being a person who loves "saving" others. As long as you are comfortable with his explanations .
Went to a funeral today - one of my friends' husband. Was very sad, of course. Made me sit there and think : So this is it. We live. And we die. And then that chapter is closed. Done. Dusted.
Made me realise how absolutely grateful we have to be every single day to be granted another day full of opportunities. To DO stuff, while we have the opportunity to do it. Because it could all be over before you've had the chance. I am so guilty of postponing stuff, thinking I've got lots of time - I'll phone so and so tomorrow, I'll send so and so a message when I'm in the mood . While sitting there I thought of how I intended to drop off a meal at her house - intended ... never did it.
Kitty, how are you doing? Please keep us posted.Thinking of you.
Lots of love to all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,002
Mornin all . . . a bit after 10am here. I've been staying up late and sleeping in. I suppose there is no reason I shouldn't do this but it seems a bit strange for me.
Ayers, as I spend a lot of time with my Dad in his senior facility, we see lots of people we know pass on. It is a tough concept to get your head around. Giving up drinking was in many ways a means to have more life . . . as in be more tuned in and present. Sigh . . . I have tons of other ways that I check out of life.
Well off to show up for what ever today brings.
Courage to you all as you deal with love, life, death, relationships, work, no-work and all else that reality throws at you.
Ayers, as I spend a lot of time with my Dad in his senior facility, we see lots of people we know pass on. It is a tough concept to get your head around. Giving up drinking was in many ways a means to have more life . . . as in be more tuned in and present. Sigh . . . I have tons of other ways that I check out of life.
Well off to show up for what ever today brings.
Courage to you all as you deal with love, life, death, relationships, work, no-work and all else that reality throws at you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Hey,
Sorry I haven't posted much.
I'm doing well and will post more very soon.
Had so much on this. last couple of days but all good. My Mum and Dad visited today and I set up a little buffet and bunch of flowers for my Mum and few bits for my Dad, wanted to make it spacial for them and it was. Enjoyed some real quality time with them.
Thinking of you all I really am and letting you know I am doing well this end at the moment so all is ok.
I'll posts more as soon as I have a little more time. haven't stopped this past few days.
Tons of love and will soon be annoying you all with very long posts!
xxxxxxxxxx
Sorry I haven't posted much.
I'm doing well and will post more very soon.
Had so much on this. last couple of days but all good. My Mum and Dad visited today and I set up a little buffet and bunch of flowers for my Mum and few bits for my Dad, wanted to make it spacial for them and it was. Enjoyed some real quality time with them.
Thinking of you all I really am and letting you know I am doing well this end at the moment so all is ok.
I'll posts more as soon as I have a little more time. haven't stopped this past few days.
Tons of love and will soon be annoying you all with very long posts!
xxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Friday morning
Good to hear all is well, Kitty. And Bee, "Well one stubby leg pushing one foot forward and then the next . . ."
Been working a couple of hours each day and then doing art stuff the rest of the day.
I cannot stress enough how much I believe in art therapy. Right through my recovery , up until now, I have been putting it off. I found all kinds of reasons - all my art supplies are packed away and difficult to get to, - I don't feel like it - I don't feel inspired etc etc, yada yada.
It started with the mosaic tray and it hasn't stopped since. I know I am moving towards getting out a big canvas and start what I really love - painting. But, I am now in the groove, and I think we all should try to at least do one little thing with our hands each day - creative wise.
My mood has changed so much, in fact it is sky-rocketing at this moment. My head is filled with ideas and I am simply loving it. Of course my dining room table looks like a bomb went off - but who cares.
The point being, I think it is important to find something, anything creative that inspires you and makes you excited. Sitting still and doing some kind of art has a profound effect on your mood, heartrate, bloodpressure and overall wellbeing .
Hope you all have a wonderful day . Onwards, march XXXXXXXXXX
Good to hear all is well, Kitty. And Bee, "Well one stubby leg pushing one foot forward and then the next . . ."
Been working a couple of hours each day and then doing art stuff the rest of the day.
I cannot stress enough how much I believe in art therapy. Right through my recovery , up until now, I have been putting it off. I found all kinds of reasons - all my art supplies are packed away and difficult to get to, - I don't feel like it - I don't feel inspired etc etc, yada yada.
It started with the mosaic tray and it hasn't stopped since. I know I am moving towards getting out a big canvas and start what I really love - painting. But, I am now in the groove, and I think we all should try to at least do one little thing with our hands each day - creative wise.
My mood has changed so much, in fact it is sky-rocketing at this moment. My head is filled with ideas and I am simply loving it. Of course my dining room table looks like a bomb went off - but who cares.
The point being, I think it is important to find something, anything creative that inspires you and makes you excited. Sitting still and doing some kind of art has a profound effect on your mood, heartrate, bloodpressure and overall wellbeing .
Hope you all have a wonderful day . Onwards, march XXXXXXXXXX
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Ok this is a step forwards as Ive never once done this...
I'm craving a drink.
I really don't think I'll have one and I'm actually quite blown over in shock that I sat here typing this instead of being on route to the shop. This is a first.
I think I'll be ok but its just hit me, Friday night, had a fantastic week, me and my bf have a lot of good things happening and Im feeling real pleased and just want to relax now with a drink.
We're getting a Chinese take away tonight so maybe I'll try some of the alcohol free beers, really not sure. Maybe this vent on here will be enough.
Can't believe after as ill as I was I'm sat here so tempted to drink its crazy.
As Im typing this I am thinking YES IT IS CRAZY!!!!
So sorry to just appear now with this after being so quiet, just trying to start doing the right thing and sharing this here is better than me marching robotically to that damn shop.
Thanks for putting up with me lol xxxxxx
I'm craving a drink.
I really don't think I'll have one and I'm actually quite blown over in shock that I sat here typing this instead of being on route to the shop. This is a first.
I think I'll be ok but its just hit me, Friday night, had a fantastic week, me and my bf have a lot of good things happening and Im feeling real pleased and just want to relax now with a drink.
We're getting a Chinese take away tonight so maybe I'll try some of the alcohol free beers, really not sure. Maybe this vent on here will be enough.
Can't believe after as ill as I was I'm sat here so tempted to drink its crazy.
As Im typing this I am thinking YES IT IS CRAZY!!!!
So sorry to just appear now with this after being so quiet, just trying to start doing the right thing and sharing this here is better than me marching robotically to that damn shop.
Thanks for putting up with me lol xxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Hey, Kitty. I just saw your post on my phone, and I dropped everything and ran for my computer so I could be here to tell you DON'T DRINK!
Oh, man -- do I EVER understand the impulse to have a few glasses when things are going well. I think, in fact, that the AV is even MORE persuasive when things are going well than when things are going wrong. Because when things are going wrong, you at least don't want them to get worse, and you know drinking will only make things worse, but when everything's going right...well, then, what's the harm?
Oh, man -- do I EVER understand the impulse to have a few glasses when things are going well. I think, in fact, that the AV is even MORE persuasive when things are going well than when things are going wrong. Because when things are going wrong, you at least don't want them to get worse, and you know drinking will only make things worse, but when everything's going right...well, then, what's the harm?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
But of course, we know from experience that there's a lot of harm to be done. You don't want to have those panicky feelings that your health is going down the tubes, right? And alcohol brings that on faster than anything.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
So...find something nice to divert yourself from the AV's annoying promptings. Be happy for feeling that you're getting into a good place and keep doing the things that will keep your good streak going. OK? I know you want to do that and you don't really need me to tell you that a drink will do you no good at all, but I just wanted to log on to let you know that I'm here and I support you and I want whats best for you.
I have to run now, but will check back later on so that you can tell me you kicked that bad AV to the curb where it belongs!!
Be well!
I have to run now, but will check back later on so that you can tell me you kicked that bad AV to the curb where it belongs!!
Be well!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Thank you Alice! 
Means a lot.
Ive got my take away to look forward to when my bf gets home, now I'm going to take myself for a sunbed, when I get back I'm hoovering my bedroom, keeping busy...
Also I got 4 bottles of alcohol free beer to enjoy, never usually drink any alcohol free drinks but giving it a try and I feel quite satisfied having these cold bottles to enjoy with the food later.
Thank you again for being there xxxxxx
Means a lot.
Ive got my take away to look forward to when my bf gets home, now I'm going to take myself for a sunbed, when I get back I'm hoovering my bedroom, keeping busy...
Also I got 4 bottles of alcohol free beer to enjoy, never usually drink any alcohol free drinks but giving it a try and I feel quite satisfied having these cold bottles to enjoy with the food later.
Thank you again for being there xxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Morning all,
5:20am here and its pouring down.
I can not stress how glad I am to be sat on here talking to you guys with a coffee and feeling fresh!!!! I had a huge wobble yesterday and thought I was going to cave in and drink, I had 4 bottles of the 0.05% lager which in my opinion is absolutely fine, the way I was feeling Im surprised I'm not sat here still drinking but nope, pjs, take away and the 4 bottles and off to bed I went by 10:30pm
I've just finally read back through some posts,
Alice I'm so sorry to hear all thats been happening! How are things now? Have you and your hubby sat and talked properly? How is your blood pressure and everything now? Hoping all is well. Do let me know and thank you again for the support yesterday.
Good Morning Dee
Red, you're doing sooooo well!!!!! Yayyyyy, I am over the moon reading your posts! Are you still doing some spiritual stuff too? How is it all going?
Bee, I see you're still pushing yourself to keep getting more done, how is the self care side going? I'm back now to nag at you to spoil yourself more! lol.
Ayers, sorry to hear of you loosing your friends hubby and yep I think like that all the time, getting my head around the fact we go through all this then thats it, done. I find it very difficult to process if Im honest, having my spiritual side kind of helps, thinking that our souls, our consciousness lives on in some way...
Great to hear you're back into your artwork! You sound s good right now, I lit up reading your post, I can feel the energy, laughed at the mention of your table too haha, I can visualise it now Any plans for this weekend?
Well as I said I've been busy, I've been doing well really. I'm on day 9 now of the 30 day challenge which Im still really into and enjoying.
The restaurant where I worked part time closed suddenly, the owner has two restaurants and she now wants to open a salon instead so closed it down, long story but anyway I decided I still wanted a few hours out of the house. My bf saw an add for someone to help with social media advertising and recruitment for a company recruiting workers for New Zealand. I went for the interview and it was great, I start the week after next. It's run by two women who I instantly got on well with, it'll just be myself and the two owners and the office manager. I walked in and the owners dogs in the office, radio on, coffee etc, very nice ad relaxed vibe so I warmed to it straight away. Also there seems opportunity there too, they are opening an office in NZ in January and said I can run the office here whilst they're there and maybe next year if I wanted to I could be working in NZ too for a few weeks... Who knows but all sounds good to me and I just like the atmosphere in the office there. They want me to start with 15 hours and said I can do them how ever I like so I've said I'll do Tues, Weds & Thurs from 8am - 1pm. I like the idea of shorter shifts, if my anxiety is there or what ever the thought of a shift 8-1pm isn't so outfacing. Also my bf has been offered a more permeant job and working in this town where we are and for a very good company.
I've sent off for my license so just need to do my theory test again as its expired and I have my lessons covered with a local instructor so as soon as the provisional arrives away I go.
I had my Mum and Dad visit Wednesday which was lovely, for them to see me doing well, the house looking nice and us happy and healthy, I made some food and had a bunch of flowers for my Mum and a garden pot thing for my Dad. It was a lovely afternoon with them.
So, things are good right now but I'm still wary of that changing, look at yesterday, I was so close to drinking. I've definitely turned a corner as I'd never usually reach our when I crave, I dint usually even think at that point to make a conscious decision, it just usually happens so fast and before I know it Im drunk. I'm hoping this is a sign of my progressing.
Not much planned this weekend, we're off to see my bf's Mum this morning then a food shop and then my Mum is calling in this afternoon.
I think tomorrow a good long walk will be on the cards. It's pouring with rain right now but apparently we have a heat wave on the way so fingers crossed for lots of hot sunshine coming our way.
Wishing you all a lovely weekend and its great to be back xxxxx
Thinking of others not mentioned too, Barbs, Caramel, Darkling, Mike, Bonnie and everyone else!!!!! ..... xxxxxxxxxxx
Lots of Love xxxxxx
5:20am here and its pouring down.
I can not stress how glad I am to be sat on here talking to you guys with a coffee and feeling fresh!!!! I had a huge wobble yesterday and thought I was going to cave in and drink, I had 4 bottles of the 0.05% lager which in my opinion is absolutely fine, the way I was feeling Im surprised I'm not sat here still drinking but nope, pjs, take away and the 4 bottles and off to bed I went by 10:30pm
I've just finally read back through some posts,
Alice I'm so sorry to hear all thats been happening! How are things now? Have you and your hubby sat and talked properly? How is your blood pressure and everything now? Hoping all is well. Do let me know and thank you again for the support yesterday.
Good Morning Dee
Red, you're doing sooooo well!!!!! Yayyyyy, I am over the moon reading your posts! Are you still doing some spiritual stuff too? How is it all going?
Bee, I see you're still pushing yourself to keep getting more done, how is the self care side going? I'm back now to nag at you to spoil yourself more! lol.
Ayers, sorry to hear of you loosing your friends hubby and yep I think like that all the time, getting my head around the fact we go through all this then thats it, done. I find it very difficult to process if Im honest, having my spiritual side kind of helps, thinking that our souls, our consciousness lives on in some way...
Great to hear you're back into your artwork! You sound s good right now, I lit up reading your post, I can feel the energy, laughed at the mention of your table too haha, I can visualise it now
Any plans for this weekend? Well as I said I've been busy, I've been doing well really. I'm on day 9 now of the 30 day challenge which Im still really into and enjoying.
The restaurant where I worked part time closed suddenly, the owner has two restaurants and she now wants to open a salon instead so closed it down, long story but anyway I decided I still wanted a few hours out of the house. My bf saw an add for someone to help with social media advertising and recruitment for a company recruiting workers for New Zealand. I went for the interview and it was great, I start the week after next. It's run by two women who I instantly got on well with, it'll just be myself and the two owners and the office manager. I walked in and the owners dogs in the office, radio on, coffee etc, very nice ad relaxed vibe so I warmed to it straight away. Also there seems opportunity there too, they are opening an office in NZ in January and said I can run the office here whilst they're there and maybe next year if I wanted to I could be working in NZ too for a few weeks... Who knows but all sounds good to me and I just like the atmosphere in the office there. They want me to start with 15 hours and said I can do them how ever I like so I've said I'll do Tues, Weds & Thurs from 8am - 1pm. I like the idea of shorter shifts, if my anxiety is there or what ever the thought of a shift 8-1pm isn't so outfacing. Also my bf has been offered a more permeant job and working in this town where we are and for a very good company.
I've sent off for my license so just need to do my theory test again as its expired and I have my lessons covered with a local instructor so as soon as the provisional arrives away I go.
I had my Mum and Dad visit Wednesday which was lovely, for them to see me doing well, the house looking nice and us happy and healthy, I made some food and had a bunch of flowers for my Mum and a garden pot thing for my Dad. It was a lovely afternoon with them.
So, things are good right now but I'm still wary of that changing, look at yesterday, I was so close to drinking. I've definitely turned a corner as I'd never usually reach our when I crave, I dint usually even think at that point to make a conscious decision, it just usually happens so fast and before I know it Im drunk. I'm hoping this is a sign of my progressing.
Not much planned this weekend, we're off to see my bf's Mum this morning then a food shop and then my Mum is calling in this afternoon.
I think tomorrow a good long walk will be on the cards. It's pouring with rain right now but apparently we have a heat wave on the way so fingers crossed for lots of hot sunshine coming our way.
Wishing you all a lovely weekend and its great to be back xxxxx
Thinking of others not mentioned too, Barbs, Caramel, Darkling, Mike, Bonnie and everyone else!!!!! ..... xxxxxxxxxxx
Lots of Love xxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Finally got back into my book this week too and have just 40pages left.
I'm terrible stopping and starting reading so I get such pleasure form finishing a book I'll finish this today, going to jump into it now with my coffee xxx
I'm terrible stopping and starting reading so I get such pleasure form finishing a book
I'll finish this today, going to jump into it now with my coffee xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
Saturday morning
Freezing cold wind here today - another good excuse to hole up, light the fire and stay cosy .
Kitty, I'm sorry I wasn't online when you sent an sos - and I don't have SR linked to my phone - so only saw it now.
Phew - I'm glad you made it through. Well done to you. I am so pleased that you are doing well and got a lot of things going on. The work at the new company sounds great - especially the possibility of a trip to NZ !
Just had a nice long conversation with my daughter - our usual weekend catch-up call. Missing her so much. But she might come home around the 8th August for a long weekend.
We had such a laugh yesterday. My son found an app that ages your photo. He looks exactly like his dad on his photo. Mine ... oh my word!! we deleted it immediately. I looked like the Witch of Endor. I then opted for one where he makes me look younger. Much prefered that one.
Going to cook some nice soup today - in keeping with the weather- and , you guessed it - playing in my dining room , radio blaring, having fun.
Lots of love and hugs to you all . Keep rocking !!! XXXXXXXXXXX
Freezing cold wind here today - another good excuse to hole up, light the fire and stay cosy .
Kitty, I'm sorry I wasn't online when you sent an sos - and I don't have SR linked to my phone - so only saw it now.
Phew - I'm glad you made it through. Well done to you. I am so pleased that you are doing well and got a lot of things going on. The work at the new company sounds great - especially the possibility of a trip to NZ !
Just had a nice long conversation with my daughter - our usual weekend catch-up call. Missing her so much. But she might come home around the 8th August for a long weekend.
We had such a laugh yesterday. My son found an app that ages your photo. He looks exactly like his dad on his photo. Mine ... oh my word!! we deleted it immediately. I looked like the Witch of Endor. I then opted for one where he makes me look younger. Much prefered that one.
Going to cook some nice soup today - in keeping with the weather- and , you guessed it - playing in my dining room , radio blaring, having fun.
Lots of love and hugs to you all . Keep rocking !!! XXXXXXXXXXX
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Day 45 down, yes!
Amazing..
Kitty - where in NZ are they setting up? That would be exciting if you came here, I could show you around. Its a very beautiful country.
As for spiritual stuff I'm always doing it but it does have its ebbs and flows. I didn't go too my moon group this week as the full moon/lunar eclipse turned me on my head and was so exhausted from all the crazy energy. My mum moved back to the UK this week also so I didn't even go to yoga as that was her last night here. I am working on my base chakra at the moment so have homework of writing up how my life would look like if I was living it true to who I am as currently I am not.. I haven't done it yet and am seeing my healer lady on Tuesday so I better hurry up lol
Ayers - I love hearing about your artwork, it's inspiring me. I'm sticking with the knitting at the moment and am about to embark on knitting a poncho as I have a lot of wool that my mother in law gave me..
Anyway I'm off to bed now..
Amazing..
Kitty - where in NZ are they setting up? That would be exciting if you came here, I could show you around. Its a very beautiful country.
As for spiritual stuff I'm always doing it but it does have its ebbs and flows. I didn't go too my moon group this week as the full moon/lunar eclipse turned me on my head and was so exhausted from all the crazy energy. My mum moved back to the UK this week also so I didn't even go to yoga as that was her last night here. I am working on my base chakra at the moment so have homework of writing up how my life would look like if I was living it true to who I am as currently I am not.. I haven't done it yet and am seeing my healer lady on Tuesday so I better hurry up lol
Ayers - I love hearing about your artwork, it's inspiring me. I'm sticking with the knitting at the moment and am about to embark on knitting a poncho as I have a lot of wool that my mother in law gave me..
Anyway I'm off to bed now..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Kitty -- Good job staying strong, girl. How cool about your new part time job! and how awesome would it be if you went to New Zealand and you and Red met. That would be marvellous!
I'm still working on finding a job. I applied for a part time job at a theatre near me, and am hoping I get an interview. My job coach says I have to be more assertive and that I need to get out and meet more people in this city. She said 80% of jobs are acquired because someone knows someone. Ugh I know almost noone here. I'm keeping on trying though.
Ayers, it's good that you're enjoying crafting and artwork. I don't have anything going craft-wise lately. I wish I did. Not too long ago, I saw some information about using a punch needle, so I wen't out and bought fabric and thread, hoops and a needle and gave it a try. What a disaster. I couldn't get the needle to work....wound up ripping up the fabric from punching it with the needle so much. Jeez. It looked so cool and easy. Not.
Haha. My daughter also found that ap that ages you! She sent me a photo of what I'm gonna look like when I'm old. It was very scary to look at. My daughter said, awww, you just look like a sweet old lady. Not fun! Curses on whoever made that ap! Nobody needs to see that stuff! Hahah.
So, I had a talk with my husband. He was having the conversation with his ex thinking I wouldn't find out about it. It was an innocent conversation, but because he'd told me that he wasn't in contact with her it came as such a shock to me. I am gun shy from having been lied to in the past. I'm still not feeling great about what he did. I don't suppose I'll ever feel ok about his lack of truthfulness even if it was just an innocent conversation. I guess I have to let some time pass so I can forgive and forget. I just wish I hadn't had a panic attack. I tried so hard that night to stop my heart from beating so fast and having palpitations. I tried to get my blood pressure down. I listened to three hours worth of hypnotic relaxation audios. It just wasn't working. It really sucks because I can't really afford the bills I'm going to get from that trip to the emergency room. Damn. I really have to find something that can help me calm down when I have a bad panic attack. It's so scary with those because, on one hand, you know you have a history of panic attacks....but on the other hand, when you're in the midst of one you just never know if it might be something more serious. Such a catch 22.
So, we're continuing on with trying to figure out what's wrong with my husband's shoulderblade/back/arm pain. He's still in a lot of pain. He made an appointment with my pain management doctor and will see him next week. In the meantime, I have gabapentin which helps when I have RLS, so I gave him some of that and it seems to be helping him. That's good because it indicates that it must be something related to nerves (gabapentin works to blocks painful nerve signals to the brain). We are always worried because since he's had two types of cancer -- one incurable but managed -- there's always the possibility of metastasis.
So, like you, Bee, I am limping forward...continuing onward to face whatever comes, but not feeling all that great at the moment. Not drinking though, so that's good.
I'm still working on finding a job. I applied for a part time job at a theatre near me, and am hoping I get an interview. My job coach says I have to be more assertive and that I need to get out and meet more people in this city. She said 80% of jobs are acquired because someone knows someone. Ugh I know almost noone here. I'm keeping on trying though.
Ayers, it's good that you're enjoying crafting and artwork. I don't have anything going craft-wise lately. I wish I did. Not too long ago, I saw some information about using a punch needle, so I wen't out and bought fabric and thread, hoops and a needle and gave it a try. What a disaster. I couldn't get the needle to work....wound up ripping up the fabric from punching it with the needle so much. Jeez. It looked so cool and easy. Not.
Haha. My daughter also found that ap that ages you! She sent me a photo of what I'm gonna look like when I'm old. It was very scary to look at. My daughter said, awww, you just look like a sweet old lady. Not fun! Curses on whoever made that ap! Nobody needs to see that stuff! Hahah.
So, I had a talk with my husband. He was having the conversation with his ex thinking I wouldn't find out about it. It was an innocent conversation, but because he'd told me that he wasn't in contact with her it came as such a shock to me. I am gun shy from having been lied to in the past. I'm still not feeling great about what he did. I don't suppose I'll ever feel ok about his lack of truthfulness even if it was just an innocent conversation. I guess I have to let some time pass so I can forgive and forget. I just wish I hadn't had a panic attack. I tried so hard that night to stop my heart from beating so fast and having palpitations. I tried to get my blood pressure down. I listened to three hours worth of hypnotic relaxation audios. It just wasn't working. It really sucks because I can't really afford the bills I'm going to get from that trip to the emergency room. Damn. I really have to find something that can help me calm down when I have a bad panic attack. It's so scary with those because, on one hand, you know you have a history of panic attacks....but on the other hand, when you're in the midst of one you just never know if it might be something more serious. Such a catch 22.
So, we're continuing on with trying to figure out what's wrong with my husband's shoulderblade/back/arm pain. He's still in a lot of pain. He made an appointment with my pain management doctor and will see him next week. In the meantime, I have gabapentin which helps when I have RLS, so I gave him some of that and it seems to be helping him. That's good because it indicates that it must be something related to nerves (gabapentin works to blocks painful nerve signals to the brain). We are always worried because since he's had two types of cancer -- one incurable but managed -- there's always the possibility of metastasis.
So, like you, Bee, I am limping forward...continuing onward to face whatever comes, but not feeling all that great at the moment. Not drinking though, so that's good.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,002
Hey All, I haven't checked in in a couple of days. I'm usually here a couple of times a day. Lots going on . . . thanks for keeping this going.
Kitty, I read your post about the craving with bated breath. So glad you made it through. I've had some dicey moments myself.. Your post the next morning was so happy and I was so relieved.
Alice, you sure have had some blips on the journey. How are you doing since going off of anti-depressants? . . . .hmmm . . . well I suppose with everything else going on it is probably hard to tell if there is an affect from going off the meds. I'm really, really glad you were here when Kitty put out the SOS . . ugh. Thanks for running for the computer.
Kitty, also thanks for proding me on self care. I've been doing more self indulgence but did manage 25 min of yoga yesterday. Today I got myself a Dairy Queen ice cream cone.
I'm going to try again for some minimal exercise today . . . I do fall off of that wagon all the time . . . ugh.
One thing I did lately that was nice was sign up for a private crochet lesson. I can crochet and have been working on a more difficult project but I'm not that good. Of course I use you tube but I wanted something more. It was so worth it. The teacher showed me a way to hold the hook that makes my stitches so much more even. This really felt like a self care kind of thing.
Red and Ayers, big hugs to you both!
I'm off to read 10 pages of frankenstein, pick up the mail and do a bit more crocheting.
Kitty, I read your post about the craving with bated breath. So glad you made it through. I've had some dicey moments myself.. Your post the next morning was so happy and I was so relieved.
Alice, you sure have had some blips on the journey. How are you doing since going off of anti-depressants? . . . .hmmm . . . well I suppose with everything else going on it is probably hard to tell if there is an affect from going off the meds. I'm really, really glad you were here when Kitty put out the SOS . . ugh. Thanks for running for the computer.
Kitty, also thanks for proding me on self care. I've been doing more self indulgence but did manage 25 min of yoga yesterday. Today I got myself a Dairy Queen ice cream cone.
I'm going to try again for some minimal exercise today . . . I do fall off of that wagon all the time . . . ugh.
One thing I did lately that was nice was sign up for a private crochet lesson. I can crochet and have been working on a more difficult project but I'm not that good. Of course I use you tube but I wanted something more. It was so worth it. The teacher showed me a way to hold the hook that makes my stitches so much more even. This really felt like a self care kind of thing.
Red and Ayers, big hugs to you both!
I'm off to read 10 pages of frankenstein, pick up the mail and do a bit more crocheting.
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