Class of May 2018 Part 5
last part here:
Thanks for the new thread Dee!
And thanks for your words. I admire you having a no drinking policy in your house. If it was just my house alone, I would do that for sure, but itís my partnerís house, and he drinks socially, including one or two beers after work when he feels like it (not every day) ie ďnormalĒ drinking. Itís been that way for many years, I just used to drink a lot more and now Iíve stopped. So I feel a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place. Short of moving out, I donít really think I can impose a no alcohol policy, much as Iíd like to :lmao:
We donít entertain very often so itís not usually an issue, but my family decided to come and visit for a week from interstate, so itís a temporary situation that will run itís course soon... I only have 4 nights to go :lmao:
I might go out and get some coke zero today as a treat, and some soda water and juice. I quite like drinking these but I wasnít very well prepared this time for some reason. A lesson to not become complacent I think....
I don't worry about you picking up Willow, because while there isn't a no alcohol policy in place you have your no alcohol practice for yourself that seems quite strong. That being said, I would still be sure to have some of those alcohol free mixers that you like around, so that you can enjoy a soft cocktail of your choice while the others are partaking of the other. And, like you do, you can excuse yourself from the scene when it it is reasonable for you to choose that time. Actually, I find that my own AV is a stronger thing to deal with than those drinking around me, and they aren't usually at the same time. Let's just say that you handle yourself very well!
My own AV has been dormant lately, and I am grateful for it. And I am ready to squash it, ha! It's nice to be free from any idea of picking up these days. But, as you said, we must not fall into complacency, either.
The sun is beginning to rise more fully here, and I can see that it looks like a clear and lovely day ahead, and I'm hoping that it is a good sign that I will enjoy my day as fully as possible.
Thanks for all the great reading, so good to catch up!
We made it to PART 5😍❤️
My AV quiet too.
My landlady brought some alcohol home about 10 days ago. It was wine coolers. Didnít tempt me a bit. And she only had ONE. HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂
See, that would NEVER be me.
So glad my new friend in Steamboat doesnít drink. He smokes weed a little, but seems to do that in moderation . And Iím not tempted nor could I partake anyway, Iíd loose my nursing license.
Guener and willow and Dee, sounds like all your plans are sound. Good to read your input too, John.
Shall we look toward fostering the May 2019 class? Iíll have to wait till the end of month to go to one year and overs thread, but look forward to joining all of you there as well
Best sweet dreams to all!!
Nice to meet you, Laura! :)
It's 11 months for me today and I'm feeling pretty good.
SR and this class has been a real help to me, thanks everyone!
Congrats on 11 months
Thank you :)
Congratulations on 11 months John! Way to go :You_Rock_
And thanks for your kind words Guener :) I donít always feel like Iím doing a good job, but I havenít had a drink despite the AV fighting me on it at times. I think I need to work more on my recovery.
I did want to ask you all something though... do you think it matters that my counsellor drinks? My previous one did too. I have told both of them that I stopped drinking altogether last May because I was drinking way too much for way too long. However both have mentioned since, more than once, having a drink ďto wind downĒ at the end of the day. The current one pulled up at the last mention of it at my last session and said, but of course you donít drink. Iím not sure how I feel about it. I guess itís normal for them, but itís not normal for me. So Iím just a bit uncertain. I just feel a bit detached from them perhaps... Iím not sure, so Iíll think a bit more about whether itís helpful or not. It may not matter at all.
Congratulations John! :)
Hi Willow - if your drinking is part of your counselling it sounds a bit off to me for them to keep mentioning theirs - but if it's a more general counselling thing, I dunno....
it's not always possible to find counsellors with knowledge or experience of recovery.
go with your gut :)
Go with gut. As s nurse, I find the counselor mentioning that very unprofessional and insensitive . As a caregiver we are not to talk about ourselves, but
Must be cognizant of our patients needs
Is this your grief counselor ? Or general counselor.?
I just canít imagine any caregiver being so sinister as to give a remark like that
My counseling, which includes discussions of issues outside of alcohol frequently, is with an addiction specialist. So, we often associate what is being discussed with recovery of the person as well as the abstinence I practice. If you decide that you like your current counselors that have brought up drinking in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, I would bring up the feelings that it brings to you when such statements are made. If you really feel that the relationship you have with a therapist is damaged, it may be better to consider somebody else. A sensitive therapist should be cognizant of your weak areas and speak to them in a way that furthers all of your goals. Have you articulated what you are seeking clearly to make sure that you are addressing you as the whole package? Sometimes I have to direct the conversation one way or the other to make sure that I'm focusing on what is good or what is hurting to make sure the other person is clear on what is going on with me at the moment in a meeting. It's very hard to find a good therapist, and you'll have to make sure that you're receiving the right messaging and advice for what you seek.
Agreed with Guener too
Thanks everyone ❤️
I do like my counsellor, and itís a general counsellor. I went specifically for grief but she deals with all sorts of things, although not a specialist in any area. I think Iím probably just overthinking as usual... I do think I need to steer the conversations into areas I need to work on, because we seem to get caught up in things that I feel are trivial. They may not be, but the sessions are expensive and time is limited so I want to get the most benefit from them. I will stay with her for now as sheís making me aware of some good tools insight into coping strategies.
Greetings, my friendly Maysters.
I'm beginning to pull up from feeling slightly slumped after all the energy of the past weeks that went into work. New routines, new things to be done, enjoying a bit more rest, all of it will play out the way that it should if I keep myself gently prodded each day to remember what is important for that day. Working on attitude today.
"Plus Áa change, plus c'est la mÍme chose ..." is one of my favorite French idioms, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not quite sure how to evaluate that idea today. It certainly rings true when we look at the outside world. How does it fit into recovery in a general sense, I wonder? Certainly, things within me are changing more and more, slowly, but certain things remain constant. I guess that the primary unchanging thing has to be my sobriety within recovery, keeping that anchor in dealing with the world. More than in the sense of futility that I use to gather out of the expression. I'm not sure why I brought this up, but odd things just pop into my head from time to time.
My priorities for the next month are pretty simple. Stay sober. Get Kitty #2 into the vet. Watch and adjust my current and future finances carefully. There are enough things around that to keep me busy for a number of days. Keeping it down to Earth.
Life threw me one of those nasty bumps yesterday, when I discovered that somebody withdrew money out of my checking account using a payment transfer app I didn't even know existed. Fraud. It is not a small amount of money to me at all, and when I realized something was very wrong I had a short time of thinking that I would have gotten sloshed over it if I wasn't drinking. At least I'm not defrauded by the booze this time.
Still, it throws you for a loop when something like that happens, makes you angry (and scared about finances, for me). I went to the bank and filed a dispute for the charge. I get provisional credit but am concerned about it going potentially against my favor. Big companies are hard to deal with, even over things that are small to them, leaving me feeling like a bug that got squished but is writhing around.
I cannot worry over it too much today, as there is nothing more to be done for now.
Grocery shopping today after leaving work a little early on a bright and sunny day, I have laid in my supplies for the weekend and a little beyond. It's not the most exciting way to celebrate Friday, but it will do. I had a pretty good week, despite my banking trouble.
Tomorrow I will be out raking pine needles with Mom, a chore that isn't too bad and is actually mindful when you focus upon the task.
I have been skipped over on Jury duty for next week, so that's a boon.
No action from the AV has been bothering me lately, I continue to be grateful for just having these kind of days. I read other posts in forums and see how hard it is right now for some people presently, and I am reminded of the differences. I just need to get a little better sleep for a couple days to make things easier throughout the day.
I've never had one of those disputes go against me Guener - different country I know but wishing you a good outcome :)
I hope everything works out ok with the bank Guener. It must be a worrisome time, but hopefully it will be sorted out soon. Well done on not drinking! Iím going out to see some live music today. Everyone will be drinking around me but I am determined not to drink. I have volunteered to be the sober driver :)
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