Class of May 2018 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Yes, I'm looking forward to the weekend, too. The week has kind of dragged out, and I have some things to get done that need a bit of time that the couple of days off will afford me. If anyone has big plans, may they be enjoyable!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
A terrible drinking dream!
Do these ever stop? It was in sane! Just like I had never stopped drinking. Someone offered me a drink and I took it and then I realized “oh wait, I’m supposed to be staying sober it’s been over a year. “
And then I said to myself oh well and I had my usual three or four in my dream
I know I can answer my own question, as I had a smoking cigarette dream 15 years after I had quit and it was so real also, with all of the usual excuses about why I couldn’t quit smoking blah blah blah blah blah.
So glad last night was only a dream😍😩
Do these ever stop? It was in sane! Just like I had never stopped drinking. Someone offered me a drink and I took it and then I realized “oh wait, I’m supposed to be staying sober it’s been over a year. “
And then I said to myself oh well and I had my usual three or four in my dream
I know I can answer my own question, as I had a smoking cigarette dream 15 years after I had quit and it was so real also, with all of the usual excuses about why I couldn’t quit smoking blah blah blah blah blah.
So glad last night was only a dream😍😩
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Those dreams can be bothersome or even sweat-inducing, and I don't know when I will stop having them, but I can usually shake it off pretty quickly. With so much of my life wrapped up in drinking activities, I don't know if my subconscious mind will ever be free of it. I had a medical dream last night, and it was strange and a bit disconcerting, but I'm going through some medical stuff right now (not serious) that might be prompting it. At least I don't worry about monsters under the bed any longer ... (like hidden bottles)
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I haven’t had a drinking dream lately, although I did wake up relieved this morning that I didn’t drink last night. I had a major AV attack yesterday afternoon after a rather challenging and unsettling morning. Nothing terrible happened, but I was feeling very overwhelmed when I got home yesterday. The AV really really wanted to get drunk. I recognised it as wanting to escape from the blah feeling and the overwhelm. I also recognised that I’d been too anxious to eat much and that was contributing. So I had something to eat and a big drink of water, then a shower and then some more to eat. The feelings didn’t go away entirely but they settled a bit, as did the AV. I think I just need to stay aware of my triggers and have a plan. And eat!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Your post got me to thinking, Willow, thank you.
I wonder if I would find myself prepared for being abruptly or progressively overwhelmed with circumstances. The most likely place for me where this would happen is at work, if I found that things got out of control and something bad happened. In the midst of this, what would I do?
I think I might keep some hard candy around to calm me down, especially if I was hungry. While my mom was in the hospital somebody had left a bag of hard candies for us, and that helped to soothe my anxious feelings with flavor and a little bit of sugar. Maybe a little kit at work with a reminder note that is oblique but to the point is a good thing for me.
I have also been thinking about getting myself a sobriety bracelet to celebrate my one year, something I can just look at as a reminder. I'm thinking of a hand-made one from one of our local artists. If I get one, I'll take a picture.
I'm glad that you got through the stress of it all, Willow. We never know what a day can bring to us. You've reminded me of that.
I wonder if I would find myself prepared for being abruptly or progressively overwhelmed with circumstances. The most likely place for me where this would happen is at work, if I found that things got out of control and something bad happened. In the midst of this, what would I do?
I think I might keep some hard candy around to calm me down, especially if I was hungry. While my mom was in the hospital somebody had left a bag of hard candies for us, and that helped to soothe my anxious feelings with flavor and a little bit of sugar. Maybe a little kit at work with a reminder note that is oblique but to the point is a good thing for me.
I have also been thinking about getting myself a sobriety bracelet to celebrate my one year, something I can just look at as a reminder. I'm thinking of a hand-made one from one of our local artists. If I get one, I'll take a picture.
I'm glad that you got through the stress of it all, Willow. We never know what a day can bring to us. You've reminded me of that.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Guener. I like your idea of a sobriety bracelet. I haven’t rewarded myself for 1 year and perhaps something like that would be a good idea 
I realised after listening to a podcast that FBL posted in the overs, that a large part of my anxiety comes from trying to control outcomes rather than doing what I can and accepting whatever happens. Accepting that it will unfold the way it’s meant to unfold. And being ok with whatever that is. Letting go and acceptance seem to be my current and ongoing lessons. Plus eating. Having a snack handy is an important tool for me, and so is remembering to eat it!
I realised after listening to a podcast that FBL posted in the overs, that a large part of my anxiety comes from trying to control outcomes rather than doing what I can and accepting whatever happens. Accepting that it will unfold the way it’s meant to unfold. And being ok with whatever that is. Letting go and acceptance seem to be my current and ongoing lessons. Plus eating. Having a snack handy is an important tool for me, and so is remembering to eat it!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I think many of us are control freaks when it comes to things. One way that I was able to control my feelings was to alter them until I was feeling different, nothing at all, or so bad that I continued until I passed out. I also need to learn to accept that things play out differently from my own plans at times, and that it's just the way that it will go sometimes.
It's not to say that I will accept with unanimity everything that comes to pass, but rather that if things are out of my control they are beyond my purview. The stoics think along these lines, and their idea of fated outcomes continues debate until this day. If I take my responsibility for what my part has played, that should be enough.
The local courts have called me back to Jury Duty this week. That's out of my control, and now I have to reschedule my Jem getting fixed at the vet, yet again. Oh, well ...
It's not to say that I will accept with unanimity everything that comes to pass, but rather that if things are out of my control they are beyond my purview. The stoics think along these lines, and their idea of fated outcomes continues debate until this day. If I take my responsibility for what my part has played, that should be enough.
The local courts have called me back to Jury Duty this week. That's out of my control, and now I have to reschedule my Jem getting fixed at the vet, yet again. Oh, well ...
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
Wow, real good discussion. The HALTS moniker comes to mind, “Hungry, angry, lonely, tired and/or too stressed “
Need to make sure we are none of those things, or realize they are triggers. Guener, I think that preparing (and using) a stress emergency kit for us and a little reminder note is a great idea!
And good Willow, for riding the wave and escaping the bear attack!
Good weekend here, thank goodness
They fired the bully at work last Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were great at work.
See you guys here later!
L
Need to make sure we are none of those things, or realize they are triggers. Guener, I think that preparing (and using) a stress emergency kit for us and a little reminder note is a great idea!
And good Willow, for riding the wave and escaping the bear attack!
Good weekend here, thank goodness
They fired the bully at work last Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were great at work.
See you guys here later!
L
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Well classmates....I’ve reached a year sober today! This time last year I had flown half way across the world to Thailand and was checking into rehab. I think that at the time my thought process was I would get a break from my real life for a bit, a break from drinking and learn how to moderate lol. After a break and reset I would be able to become a normie and have a single glass of vino every now and again. I didn’t have any concept of what was to follow and rehab was a rude awakening to the fact that overdoing the wine was actually the least of my problems lol.
But, I did it and can now stand next to my lovely classmates in the graduated line!
Hope you are all well xx
But, I did it and can now stand next to my lovely classmates in the graduated line!
Hope you are all well xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
It's hard to believe how starting down a road, Manta, can take us to places that surprise us. You have become a strong and consistent voice here on SR expressing well what it means to change and to grow. Heartfelt congratulations on your milestone today and for many more to come.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Hi!!!!
congrats mantra!
Free- I’m happy to hear that you don’t have to deal with the bully situation anymore. It’s sad that adults can act like that.
I officially had my 1 year on June 1.. although I celebrated on May 13th- since that particular day was most significant to my sobriety. But either way it’s been a year since a drop of alcohol has entered my system!
as usual - time is going by so fast! My youngest just had her half birthday... so she is 4.5 years old. Like how?!?
it makes me feel grateful that I’m sober and able to truly enjoy and remember each moment with my girls. Sometimes I’m sad that I feel I drank away their baby years.
I will say hitting one year mark has been a breath of fresh air for me. It feels good.
congrats mantra!
Free- I’m happy to hear that you don’t have to deal with the bully situation anymore. It’s sad that adults can act like that.
I officially had my 1 year on June 1.. although I celebrated on May 13th- since that particular day was most significant to my sobriety. But either way it’s been a year since a drop of alcohol has entered my system!
as usual - time is going by so fast! My youngest just had her half birthday... so she is 4.5 years old. Like how?!?
it makes me feel grateful that I’m sober and able to truly enjoy and remember each moment with my girls. Sometimes I’m sad that I feel I drank away their baby years.
I will say hitting one year mark has been a breath of fresh air for me. It feels good.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
