Class of May 2018 Part 5
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi John, I hope you’re going ok?
Hi everyone else too, I hope everyone is going ok.
I just realised how long it is since I was on SR.
Too long...
And I derailed. Not in any horrible way, and nothing catastrophic has happened in my life (just ongoing sadness), but I remembered that I don’t like waking up feeling sick and tired.
That’s why I stopped drinking, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time. And sad. And anxious.
When I don’t drink, I still feel sad and tired, but I don’t feel sick. And I’m perhaps less anxious.
I think depression and sleeplessness are perhaps the underlying issue.
The reason I drank recently was because I felt like I’ve been sad for so long and I was so over feeling sad all the time. A friend was keen to drink with me and I caved (I’m not blaming my friend at all, it was my decision, made in a moment of weakness).
I try to put on a bright exterior in my life but inside I’m mostly always sad. The psychologist told my doctor that perhaps I should be on antidepressants, and I was prescribed some, but they made me feel really sick so I only took a couple and stopped. And I haven’t been back to the doctor since. I picked up a bottle instead. Not the greatest plan. So I’m going back to my doctor.
I had been logged out of SR, probably because I haven’t been on here for ages.
I was so used to being automatically logged in that I couldn’t remember my password.
But I’m back on here.
And on day 2. But this time I’m not counting days, I’m just not drinking.
And I need to work more somehow on tackling this depression that underpins my life. The black cloud that is constantly hovering.
Exercise, yoga, healthy eating, daily gratitude and outdoor activities are not enough. I think I need some more tools in my toolbox.
Hi everyone else too, I hope everyone is going ok.
I just realised how long it is since I was on SR.
Too long...
And I derailed. Not in any horrible way, and nothing catastrophic has happened in my life (just ongoing sadness), but I remembered that I don’t like waking up feeling sick and tired.
That’s why I stopped drinking, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time. And sad. And anxious.
When I don’t drink, I still feel sad and tired, but I don’t feel sick. And I’m perhaps less anxious.
I think depression and sleeplessness are perhaps the underlying issue.
The reason I drank recently was because I felt like I’ve been sad for so long and I was so over feeling sad all the time. A friend was keen to drink with me and I caved (I’m not blaming my friend at all, it was my decision, made in a moment of weakness).
I try to put on a bright exterior in my life but inside I’m mostly always sad. The psychologist told my doctor that perhaps I should be on antidepressants, and I was prescribed some, but they made me feel really sick so I only took a couple and stopped. And I haven’t been back to the doctor since. I picked up a bottle instead. Not the greatest plan. So I’m going back to my doctor.
I had been logged out of SR, probably because I haven’t been on here for ages.
I was so used to being automatically logged in that I couldn’t remember my password.
But I’m back on here.
And on day 2. But this time I’m not counting days, I’m just not drinking.
And I need to work more somehow on tackling this depression that underpins my life. The black cloud that is constantly hovering.
Exercise, yoga, healthy eating, daily gratitude and outdoor activities are not enough. I think I need some more tools in my toolbox.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,346
I'm glad you made it back Willow.
Addiction is so insidious it will slip into any crack in the armour - if you need any reminding of how hard it was for you to stop last time, re read your old posts.
I hate the way it spread through this thread like a wildfire. Its one relentless SOB.
I hope John and Free and everyone else will make their way back here too.
It can be beaten tho - it's not so tough without our co-operation
I don't know what the solutions are for your problems but I know that drinking is not the answer.
I'm glad you're seeing your doctor again
D
Addiction is so insidious it will slip into any crack in the armour - if you need any reminding of how hard it was for you to stop last time, re read your old posts.
I hate the way it spread through this thread like a wildfire. Its one relentless SOB.
I hope John and Free and everyone else will make their way back here too.
It can be beaten tho - it's not so tough without our co-operation
I don't know what the solutions are for your problems but I know that drinking is not the answer.
I'm glad you're seeing your doctor again
D
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Dee, I really appreciate your ongoing support.
I have a few ideas about changes I need to make in my life, starting with a big declutter, and I think that’s a good place for me to start.
I recently got the Marie Kondo book about the art of tidying up and how it changes your life. I’m keen to get started
I have a few ideas about changes I need to make in my life, starting with a big declutter, and I think that’s a good place for me to start.
I recently got the Marie Kondo book about the art of tidying up and how it changes your life. I’m keen to get started
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Hi guys.
hope everyone is having a good day today.
willow, I’m glad you found your way back. We all have a day 1. And we all have different paths along the way... everyone obstacle in our path just makes us stronger. I’m routing for ya.
i am on medication, and in my personal experience it has been helpful with my sobriety. In my situation,
i was self medicating with alcohol.
things have been going well for me overall. Busy... but can’t complain. I am traveling to Virginia next month for a bat mitzvah... I’m sure there will be drinking. My husband will be there for a support. Not worried about AV or drinking. But there will be some people there that don’t know about my sobriety and history with alcohol.
have good day guys, smile about something that made ya happy
hope everyone is having a good day today.
willow, I’m glad you found your way back. We all have a day 1. And we all have different paths along the way... everyone obstacle in our path just makes us stronger. I’m routing for ya.
i am on medication, and in my personal experience it has been helpful with my sobriety. In my situation,
i was self medicating with alcohol.
things have been going well for me overall. Busy... but can’t complain. I am traveling to Virginia next month for a bat mitzvah... I’m sure there will be drinking. My husband will be there for a support. Not worried about AV or drinking. But there will be some people there that don’t know about my sobriety and history with alcohol.
have good day guys, smile about something that made ya happy
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Bumblebee
Yeah I reckon I’ve been self-medicating with alcohol for years. I stopped for over a year but hadn’t really addressed the underlying problems. So I really need to dig a bit deeper.
Have a great day, and I agree, find something to smile about
Yeah I reckon I’ve been self-medicating with alcohol for years. I stopped for over a year but hadn’t really addressed the underlying problems. So I really need to dig a bit deeper.
Have a great day, and I agree, find something to smile about
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Well I made it through 2 pub dinners this weekend as the only person not drinking, a big family dinner last night and a smaller one tonight. Funnily I was quite tempted yesterday to have “just one”, but I recognised the old AV and refused to listen to it, and tonight I wasn’t tempted to drink at all
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Hi!!!!!!
Hope all is well.
busy as usual. Halloween and parties for the kids. I have a busy November and December too! 2 weddings, one bat mitzvah (traveling out is town for the weekend), cheerleading banquet, daughters 5th bday, baby niece due in dec.
all good things- but A LOT.... especially on top of the ‘normal’ schedule of school, dance, piano, Girl Scouts and ccd.
I suppose I would rather be busy then bored.
not so sure I’m excited about the two weddings. I haven’t gone to a wedding sober yet. Well,
i did go to a wedding pregnant... and it was torture.
i am in a very different mindset now, almost 1 and a half years sober. I’m not so much worried about AV or temptation. My husband will be with me as support too... I just don’t know if I want to go. I feel like it will e boring, and annoying to just watch everyone drink. I loved weddings when I drank. Free alcohol, and a lot of drinking buddies. It was totally normal to get drunk and crazy at weddings... so my daily life was ‘normal’ for one day.
idk. I’m rambling. Gonna read my book.
have a good day everyone snd good job willow not drinking recently- I’m proud of ya!!!!
Hope all is well.
busy as usual. Halloween and parties for the kids. I have a busy November and December too! 2 weddings, one bat mitzvah (traveling out is town for the weekend), cheerleading banquet, daughters 5th bday, baby niece due in dec.
all good things- but A LOT.... especially on top of the ‘normal’ schedule of school, dance, piano, Girl Scouts and ccd.
I suppose I would rather be busy then bored.
not so sure I’m excited about the two weddings. I haven’t gone to a wedding sober yet. Well,
i did go to a wedding pregnant... and it was torture.
i am in a very different mindset now, almost 1 and a half years sober. I’m not so much worried about AV or temptation. My husband will be with me as support too... I just don’t know if I want to go. I feel like it will e boring, and annoying to just watch everyone drink. I loved weddings when I drank. Free alcohol, and a lot of drinking buddies. It was totally normal to get drunk and crazy at weddings... so my daily life was ‘normal’ for one day.
idk. I’m rambling. Gonna read my book.
have a good day everyone snd good job willow not drinking recently- I’m proud of ya!!!!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,280
Originally Posted by Willow68 
Any Maysters lurking? Come and say hi 
Sorry to hear you drank but glad that there were no disasters and that you're back on track, well done!
I'm doing ok thanks, just coming up to three weeks.
Hi Bumble and everyone else who reads this
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Bumblebee and John!
Nice to hear from you John. Three weeks is great! I’m on 10 days
Bumblebee it sounds like you have lots of activities coming up! I know what you mean about the weddings. I feel like that about most social occasions these days. I really don’t feel like going to them. I used to love the excuse to get drunk too. These days I try to avoid a lot of social activities, but when I have to go, I try to practice mindfulness with a sense of curiosity and kindness (a yoga thing I learned). Almost like a science experiment where I observe people and interact with them and try to spread some kindness somehow. It doesn’t always work, and I also tend to make an excuse to leave early if I can
Nice to hear from you John. Three weeks is great! I’m on 10 days
Bumblebee it sounds like you have lots of activities coming up! I know what you mean about the weddings. I feel like that about most social occasions these days. I really don’t feel like going to them. I used to love the excuse to get drunk too. These days I try to avoid a lot of social activities, but when I have to go, I try to practice mindfulness with a sense of curiosity and kindness (a yoga thing I learned). Almost like a science experiment where I observe people and interact with them and try to spread some kindness somehow. It doesn’t always work, and I also tend to make an excuse to leave early if I can
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,346
really glad to hear that gettingcloser
I didn't feel like going out much either...but then I realised I never really did - the attraction for me was always the 'licence to drink'.
Nowadays I got out when I want...and its usually with close friends and I get involved as much as I like or not.
I've noticed the subtle counting of, or looking at, other people drinking and what they're drinking doesn't happen anymore
D
I didn't feel like going out much either...but then I realised I never really did - the attraction for me was always the 'licence to drink'.
Nowadays I got out when I want...and its usually with close friends and I get involved as much as I like or not.
I've noticed the subtle counting of, or looking at, other people drinking and what they're drinking doesn't happen anymore
D
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi gettingcloser
Yeah I’ve realised I’m actually an introvert and prefer being at home, or small get togethers with close friends or family. I think the only reason I actually went out before was because of alcohol. Now I much prefer quiet times
Yeah I’ve realised I’m actually an introvert and prefer being at home, or small get togethers with close friends or family. I think the only reason I actually went out before was because of alcohol. Now I much prefer quiet times
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Hey guys-
hope everyone is doing good.
gosh! I know I said it last time. But I am so so busy. I feel like I can’t catch up on things around the house- like laundry and cleaning up the kitchen. Some days I feel like all I do is make meals and clean up the kitchen .
anyhow it is Saturday and we are off to the penguins hockey game. We are actually a little behind schedule and husband is driving like a crazy person! The girls are so excited to go to the game... their first NHL game.
He he has been home for over a week now... kinda driving me nuts. He is off work due to an injury. It is like I have a third child sometimes. Love him to death, but I am happy he goes back to work on Monday.
I haven’t felt great this week. Probably a combination of eating terrible and monthly cycle. I was up at 4 am last night with a pounding headache.
so grateful I don’t have to deal with hangovers anymore. I don’t even know how i did it... every singe day. I was miserable this week.
have a good one guys!
hope everyone is doing good.
gosh! I know I said it last time. But I am so so busy. I feel like I can’t catch up on things around the house- like laundry and cleaning up the kitchen. Some days I feel like all I do is make meals and clean up the kitchen .
anyhow it is Saturday and we are off to the penguins hockey game. We are actually a little behind schedule and husband is driving like a crazy person! The girls are so excited to go to the game... their first NHL game.
He he has been home for over a week now... kinda driving me nuts. He is off work due to an injury. It is like I have a third child sometimes. Love him to death, but I am happy he goes back to work on Monday.
I haven’t felt great this week. Probably a combination of eating terrible and monthly cycle. I was up at 4 am last night with a pounding headache.
so grateful I don’t have to deal with hangovers anymore. I don’t even know how i did it... every singe day. I was miserable this week.
have a good one guys!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Bumblebee, you sound so busy! I hope you’re feeling better soon. Maybe you need some time out just for you. Like a massage or a pamper session, or even just a few hours in a hammock with a good book to relax.
I went to the Atherton tablelands for the weekend. It’s absolutely beautiful up there in the rainforest, very peaceful and a great place to recharge. To be honest I didn’t want to come home.... but it’s back to work again today.
I hope everyone is going ok
I went to the Atherton tablelands for the weekend. It’s absolutely beautiful up there in the rainforest, very peaceful and a great place to recharge. To be honest I didn’t want to come home.... but it’s back to work again today.
I hope everyone is going ok
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