Ahh next day delivery alcohol is scary. Luckily we live so far from anywhere that online deliveries take weeks. And the closest liquor store is 30 minutes drive away. So AV attacks at home are not able to be acted on straight away which gives a window of opportunity to mount bigger defenses. Although when I’ve been in town I’ve been very tempted to get wine. I know the consequences of drinking and I know I don’t want those consequences. However sometimes the AV overrides all logical thoughts. I keep reminding myself of that relentless cycle of hangovers, feeling like crap, constant trips to the liquor store to top up the stash, and empty bottles hidden all over the place . Not to mention antisocial behaviour and driving after drinking. And thinking it’s normal to crave alcohol at breakfast time. Nope. It’s not normal nor desirable.

I think mental health is key John. Mine hasn’t been great either. I think I need to find some new tools because the AV almost convinced me I’d happily be a drunk and give up everything I’m trying to establish in sobriety. So there’s still lots of recovery work to be done with regards to my mental health to turn it around.

Hang in there if you’re struggling John, myself, and everyone. One day at a time. And get help and support from wherever you need to

Hi all—

Nice to catch up

I used to live 10 minutes from a giant amusement park and I do not miss it. I did have fun when I was younger but now that I had my next surgery it’s not a possibility.

Guener, I’m glad you’re bringing your mom home it must be so stressful for you. I guess she did not need surgery which is good.

John I’m so glad you did not go to the checkout on your liquor order. I’ve been having some strong urges to. Last weekend I went to a party and it just seemed like everyone knew ahead of time that I wasn’t drinking alcohol. Must be Jim —the new guy am dating —that gave them a heads up. I don’t think it’s his place to do that😡 I can take care of myself. It’s kind of annoying.

Willow, I’m struggling with mental health too.

Good and bad going on in my life and of course the AV is coming up for me too. My landlady keeps changing her mind about things and when I came home today after a weekend in the mountains, one of the loveseats she had said she was leaving here—is gone. But these matching table and end tables were still there plus the couch. So I put those of hers in the garage, not the couch, and put my own end tables that have been upside down on blankets for the last six weeks in their spot. I took Some pictures off of the walls and put them in the garage for her also.

I had a lovely weekend with the gentleman I’ve been dating for three weeks. He dropped me off at home this morning to get some things done and more things unpacked as I said above.

We had preplanned that he would make me dinner since I cooked for him all weekend up at his cabin. I sensed that he did not want me there. He mentioned that our age difference kind of bothered him and that I have a lot of energy ( which I do). He also mentioned that he’s been single for 15 years almost and this weekend was great but he didn’t know if he could handle something like that all the time.

I’m thinking he’s telling me to MoveOn. But because I’m fragile and because I’m an alcoholic I don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. Some of you have had healthy relationships. Or have them now. Any thoughts?

Love to you all


L

We all have some reasonable amount of distance from what it was like to be active in our alcoholism, but really it is not a very long time since we quit.

Do people at our stage fall too easily to romanticizing the time of what it was like to just turn our feelings at the sip of a drink? I do not know, but when I think about where I am it's almost like starting over again to adjust to the new reality of being a non-drinker. It's exhausting to think that I might have to be ready to put in just as much thought and attention to the next year as I have in the first to be the stable person that I thought I might be by now, but it may be required.

I have more thoughts about this, but that's enough. I over think things, and I don't want to do that here. My mind is too full of stuff, it always is, LOL, but my heart is here for all of us, too, and I'll just stick with that to finish my speech.

Free it’s so hard to know how others are feeling . I tend to overanalyse everything myself. Perhaps just give it a little time and see what happens? Patience isn’t my strong point when it comes to relationships, but I’m working on it. Sometimes if you step back a little things seem to sort themselves out somehow.

Guener I totally relate to what you’re saying. I overthink everything... and I had hoped that after a year of not drinking it would miraculously get easier. Well.... :lmao :lmao :lmao
I guess that just wasn’t going to happen... so it’s still one day at a time. And trying to stay one step ahead of the AV monster...

Went over to his house...

Calmly got to the point


Talked about the nonverbal messages

We broke it off.

😞😊


Getting better at those instincts.

I'm sorry it ended but it sounds like its for the best free?

D

Not all relationships work out, Free, and if your instincts are telling you that something is wrong, it probably will not work out romantically. It doesn't make it easier to go through a break-up, though, of course. It sounds like you handled it well.

That’s rough Free, I hope you’re doing ok . Sending you a great big hug all the way from Australia
:Val004:

Thanks. I thought a HUGE glass of wine would help. Well. That thought was my addict. I squashed it😊

Taking a break from guys for a while......


Gonna just take care of me

Good idea, no to the AV and yes to some “me time” for you.
Focus on your physical, mental and emotional health and well-being :)

People there is life there is Family there is winter and fall and spring.. only one Summer

Dance sing shout go to event that is so much noise you feel like a sponge.. soaking it up and then expelling it in one big shout to the heavens.. Summer Fest 2019 yep we got there last night..
5pm walked a bit found a good spot for noise people lake and childrens stage. put Eddie Lee at the table don't leave me he said hahaahhh sounded more like elderly Ozzy .. got to a stand ordered and had to go around to the crowd waiting for the food # to be called. CAN YOU WORK IN A NOISE FILLED AREA.. ahahah realized after a minute you had to look at the face of the person in the carryout window very very very carefully to understand what number they wre saying. because you could not hear them. ahahahah you know what happened I shouted over the musice. 87234 bingo .. and that started it. people would show me their ticket . for # and I would watch the 2 ladies became the caller of good numbers. Food up. # 87216 the next to me said hey you are loud. I said what is your # son. and there his was. and Bingo mine 87234 woot woot. went to go get mine and a big guy said hey lady you can't go how are we going to get the food. hahhahhah
back to Eddie lee. and his food. mine next.. know what Rap sound can over power your Soul. hahahha got stuck in a little side area not a bad place not many people waiting for this Wongs Wok food. two ladies in the booth chatted with me a bit. but after 4 minutes I felt like the Rap sound had over powered my body. my voice could have moved 400 young uniforms again. the ladies jumped about a foot. Baby Doll your Momma ever tell you that you are very loud. other lady pokes her and said that is the Momma. laugh we laughed so hard. Think about it ladies after summer fest hit the casino Can you work in a noise fill smokey job. 11 days at summer fest off the Rap stage what do you think. hahahahaha... we were home by 8pm..out like a light by 8:30pm

I am in for another 24 hours. and weekend off to the Fest for friends and music and laughter all day Sat and Sunday. :c011::c011::dee

Hi Ardy. Welcome to our class!

Sounds like you had a good time.

Hi Ardy, sounds like a lively time! Myself, I’ve been steering clear of crowds lately, I kinda prefer a quiet time as crowds make me a bit anxious :)

Yesterday was really hard for me. I owe the state some back taxes that I haven't been able to pay toward, and I got a letter from them that they are going to put a lien on me for the debt.

I'm not exactly sure if that means that they would be able to garnish my wages, but I have to get in touch with them to see about working out a payment plan. During lunch I tried to call, but the wait time was too long, so I'm left this weekend to worry about it. I cannot afford for a significant amount of my paycheck to be docked, I just get by as it is now.

It felt like a sucker punch to the gut, even though I know that this has been out there as an issue. My AV jumped in and was really telling me to go out and get a bottle of wine, that this is just getting to be too much. That, of course, is a lie I'm telling myself, and I just need to try to work out an installment payment plan that I can manage. Play the tape forward ...

Still, I'm feeling shaken and vulnerable to what might be the news from them. I will be getting a raise come next week, but "poof!" and it may be gone. The other job opportunity doesn't look like it will play out, so I think I'm going to have to restart my consideration, again, of a second job just to pay off this debt. Financially I was able to scrape by on my income over the past year, but it may be even harder.

I don't want to mess up.

Hang in there Guener, somehow things will work out. Drinking will only make things worse. You can ring them again on Monday and hopefully get an understanding person who can help you work out a payment plan that is workable. It will work out

Yes Guener Hang in there. Worrying won’t change it. Just worry you. It is what it is. You’ll work it out, and you’ll still have your job, place and kittens. 😍

Your post is decidedly chipper, Bumble, and well it should be, with all those neat things happening. It brings a smile to my face today! A bunk bed is a fantastic gift for your daughter, I always wanted one myself, and I know that she will be delighted with you for bringing a wish come true. :)

Thank you, everyone, for the encouragement on my new challenge. All I need to do is take care of business, it's not so complicated. I'm sure that the state will work with me.

Sounds like a lot of fun Bumblebee! The amusement park and the zoo! And as Guener said, what a great gift for your daughter! I too always wished for a bunk bed. What fun for her :)

How are your kitties Guener?

Have a great Sunday Maysters :)
I’m off to a yoga class and then perhaps a walk on the beach, then a lazy day on the couch with a novel and some yummy (possibly a bit naughty) snacks (perhaps chips and chocolate). I like to treat myself to decadent snacks on a Sunday afternoon :)

I hope you can sort it out Guener... they're usually receptive to a payment plan so I hear :)

D