Class of May 2018 Part 5 - Page 10 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 06-12-2019, 11:45 AM   #181 (permalink)
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Congratulations Bumble!

Free, I'm so glad to hear that the bully got fired
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I've removed my rose tinted spectacles and thrown them in the bin, because there's absolutely nothing nice or nostalgic about my past drinking and drugging.
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Old 06-12-2019, 06:13 PM   #182 (permalink)
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Congrats Manta!

I so remember your plans and travel to Thailand. Seems like yesterday and so far away! So glad your here with usóditto Guener, so elequently said by him😊

Congrats Bumblebee! Wow, canít believe weíve all made it, and I can all at the same time!

Hi John! How are you doing? Glad when you pop in.....

Guener, the other kitty get in to vet yet? Mom doing ok?

Work is much better for me, yes.

Looking forward to daughter and her boyfriend visiting next month.

Fondly,

L
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Old 06-12-2019, 06:26 PM   #183 (permalink)
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My other kitty hasn't been to the vet yet, haven't even made the appointment so far, as I'm still tied up all day with jury duty this week.

Mom is doing fine, gaining a little weight back, but she tires easily.

Another pretty good day here, but I'll be happy to return to my general routine soon.
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Old 06-15-2019, 04:20 AM   #184 (permalink)
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Hello, Maysters!

I have settled down from the strange feelings I was having around the one year milestone date for me and am enjoying the "just sober" time.

Jury duty is over! I really enjoyed the time to be able to fill a civic duty. In the end one party ends up being happy, the other not, and while I didn't come down on the side of the jury findings in total, I am proud of the amount of effort I put into making sure that I fulfilled my call.

There is a job opening at the University where I work that is a very good opportunity for me, and I think I am going to apply for it. It leaves me with mixed emotions about it being only a year after I started in my current role and a little scared of how things would be if I don't get it, but I know that I need to reach out and try for it. I need to have a conversation with my current boss over it to settle my thoughts, I think.

I bought a pair of prescription glasses after my eye examination, I need the second pair, but wow do they set you back a pretty penny in cost! I only have one set of eyes, and I need to take care of those well. 8-)

Sipping my coffee this morning is very relaxing ahead of a busy Saturday before me.
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Old 06-15-2019, 02:45 PM   #185 (permalink)
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Hi everyone, I hope youíre having a nice weekend

Iím glad youíre feeling a bit more settled Guener. I am too. Maybe it was the 1 year mark with the AV trying hard to not let us achieve it? I think itís quite an important milestone so perhaps the AV was resisting.... anyone Iím glad I feel less anxious and blah than I did too.
Good luck on the job application Guener
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Old 06-16-2019, 12:30 AM   #186 (permalink)
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Glad everything is settling down for everyone and good news about the bully getting ďremovedĒ Free!

I am also feeling a bit brighter after the weird funk I got into just before the 1 year mark. I have no idea where Mr Funk came from, and didnít notice him leaving either lol but itís such a reinforcement of the ďeverything passesĒ phrase. For a second I engaged in the ďitís Hopeless, life is always gonna be ****, blah blahĒ. Glad it was just a blip and I rode through it rather than trying to escape.

Back to work tomorrow after a week off. I am going to stick out the year I promised myself I would do and at the beginning of next year will start looking and applying for a better paid job that is closer to my actual skill set as I am missing being challenged. No idea if I will be kept on beyond my probation period as have locked horns with the boss a few times already. Have an appraisal in July so will find out then.

Anyhow, hope everyone is having a super sober Sunday! xx
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Old 06-16-2019, 11:40 AM   #187 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Free2bme888 View Post

Hi John! How are you doing? Glad when you pop in.....
Hi Free,

I'm not doing too bad thanks, hope allís good for you.

I had a very painful medical procedure a few weeks back to exclude cancer (Iím all clear!) but the AV piped up during it and said - "You should have a large whisky or two later, you deserve it!" I resisted but the niggling thought has been coming and going since then.

With AVRT I feel that Iíve got the upper hand but itís no time for complacency.
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Old 06-17-2019, 07:57 PM   #188 (permalink)
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What the heck was Mr Funk visiting ALL OF US for???🥵😡

Glad we didnít answer the door when he knocked.

Wonder if thatís common around the one year mark?

Glad everyone is doing so well

Job is better for me for sure. Trying to get my landlady out of this house.

Started dating a nice gentleman close by in town. Keeping cautious but so far so good.

Happy Monday evening.

Goodnight.
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Old 06-17-2019, 08:05 PM   #189 (permalink)
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Oh. I forgot. Here’s a prayer want to share— it is what I think was in my mind but that I did not have the words to articulate it, but it is totally me and I wish it for everyone :

Make my mind to come alive today
To the invisible geography
That invites me to new frontiers,
To break the dead shell of
yesterdays
To risk being disturbed and changed

May I have the courage today
To live the life that I love,
To postpone my dream no longer
But to do at last what I came here for
And waste my heart on fear
no more.

John O’Donahue


My love to you all
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Old 06-18-2019, 12:18 AM   #190 (permalink)
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That prayer is quite lovely, Free, thank you for sharing it. I often have trouble explaining my emotions, and it is nice to read when others can capture what is difficult to tell to others. Two simple verses that do it.

I was intending to awaken tonight to work on some things after rest, but I have awoken from a dream where I was giving a presentation on the fly and was not prepared. Caught with my pants down in front of the class, so to speak, it woke me up earlier than I expected to, but it was only a dream, ha! So, I'm not sure whether to go back to sleep or start working on my project item to get it out of the way. I know what it is: I had pizza for dinner, and I often have "pizza dreams" afterward.

Before long I will get a new neighbor, because they are painting the interior of the adjoining duplex apartment.

It's Tuesday already, and I'm looking forward to another good day.
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Old 06-18-2019, 05:01 AM   #191 (permalink)
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Hey guys! Iím happy to hear everyone is getting through their little funk.

for me, I try to remember the hardest of the hard is over. And it can only get better from here. We all came so so far from one year ago.

Unhappy, full of lies, nauseous, shaky, scared... prisoner to wine. Now I feel more free, grateful and a better wife and mother.

life still happens and we have to feel the yucky negative emotions more too... which is tricky. Just numbing those feelings out with some wine was way easier. But now Iím better, much better.

be proud of yourselves!!!!

We are going to kennywood today. It is a local amusement park. I am looking forward to see my girls enjoy the rides. Hubby took off work today too... it should be a nice day.

going to go pack up snacks, sunscreen, drinks...

have a a great day, cause you all deserve it!!!!!
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Old 06-18-2019, 09:17 PM   #192 (permalink)
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There is a part of me that still is attached to amusement parks, I was smiling just thinking about your plans, Bumblebee.
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Old 06-19-2019, 01:13 PM   #193 (permalink)
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That prayer is beautiful Free ❤️

I love amusement parks too I havenít been in a long time, but I do love the excitement in the air
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Old 06-19-2019, 04:31 PM   #194 (permalink)
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I am heading back to the hospital to meet my mother and some friends at Emergency, as she is ill again. Last time she was in there for four days, and they were debating surgery. I know that some time there will do her good, except for more weight loss that she cannot afford, but I am worried that they will think that surgery is the way to go now. They have been trying to avoid that, as the tissue she has is weak. Ugh.
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Old 06-19-2019, 04:34 PM   #195 (permalink)
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best wishes for you and your mom Guener

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Old 06-19-2019, 09:32 PM   #196 (permalink)
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Sending lots of love and support to you and your Mom Guener ❤️
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Old 06-20-2019, 10:54 PM   #197 (permalink)
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Mom will be in the hospital for another day or two, dealing with the same thing that has been trouble the last couple of times she had to go there. It's hard that they think that there is nothing that they should do surgically now to help her, as she's not a good candidate for the procedure. So, it's the same pattern as before to get her "healthy" enough to be released home.

I find myself in the center of being the person who needs to be the family communicator for relations about all of this, and it's hard to satisfy everyone fast enough to get that done. Need to do a better job on that, despite not relishing the role, as people get freaked out when they cannot reach her. I need to update some more people tonight/tomorrow. It's emotionally tiring, and you cannot please everyone exactly the way that they want, while my mom is a very private person about her health.

I took some time off today and will tomorrow as well to try to be more organized on all of this "stuff". Picked up some prescriptions and vitamins for her today, I am trying to get things set up for her to go home. I worry about how things are going.

Work is quiet, so that is helpful. I need to write an essay for my new class that I'm taking, maybe I can get that started tonight and finished in the next day or so. I have not heard about the status of my application for the other job on campus that I have applied to, but that is pretty normal.

My cats are a great source of love and companionship through all of this, and thank you all for your kind words, especially.
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Old 06-22-2019, 02:32 PM   #198 (permalink)
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Hi Guener, I imagine it must be a worrisome time for you with worrying about your Momís health, and with the added responsibility of being the spokesperson for whatís happening too. I really empathise with you in that situation. Itís great that youíre sober to navigate through the challenging times. I hope you hear about the new job soon. What a comfort your kitties must be.

The AV has been really relentless the last week or so. Itís ramped up itís attacks and theyíve been coming from left field. Iím just going day by day at the moment.

Hang in there everyone!
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Old Yesterday, 02:52 AM   #199 (permalink)
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I think I will be taking Mom home from the hospital today, and that makes me happy.

This morning I had a dream where I was at a Thanksgiving banquet where we all had to bring some dish to the table for many people. A new, close friend worked it out where I was outed about being in recovery, that I was an alcoholic. I was pretty upset at having somebody take over my decision for something like that. It all worked out fine in the end, and I woke up.

Sometimes I wish that I could walk freely among others in the world with them knowing what I am going through, but it doesn't seem like the world is quite ready, or I am not, probably both, to be able to go about in such a careless state about what it means to be in recovery.

There are so many posts on SR about how to handle situations where you have to decline a drink, it's too bad we are, most of us, in the closet about it. The media is doing some work on making the idea of a population like us being out there, but it takes time for these things to filter into public consciousness. I don't know if there will be a time when I could be out about my condition, but there is hope for it one day.

Anyway, that's what's on my mind early this morning!
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Old Yesterday, 05:17 AM   #200 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow68 View Post

The AV has been really relentless the last week or so. It’s ramped up it’s attacks and they’ve been coming from left field. I’m just going day by day at the moment.

Hang in there everyone!
Me too Willow, the other evening I even had a bottle of bourbon in my Amazon shopping basket for next day delivery -

Thankfully I slept on it and the urge to drink had eased a bit come the morning but I'm still struggling to get on top of things, my mental health isn't helping matters either.

As you say, hang on in there.
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