Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 9
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Glad to see you Ps! I am not really a very good public speaker. I don’t mind doing it but it’s not like people remember me as a skilled orator. Sometimes if I am feeling particularly apprehensive I do my version of praying — mainly for the audience. That I may know that they just want information, that they have a job to do, and that I can hopefully be an instrument to aid them. I hope for them that they make good decisions and that they are receptive to hearing and learning. I can’t always keep that in focus but I do try to kind of reiterate it to myself as often as I can.
Have a great day!
Have a great day!
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Hi all - quick check in for me. NL, that's great advice about "praying" before you speak. I tend to get very nervous and my voice shakes (UGH) and/or I become slightly manic, which people sometimes misinterpret in my favor as being "enthusiastic" or "passionate." 
I really do need to prepare better, look for new ways to calm my nerves (maybe take it easy on the caffeine for once?), and slow down.
That's all for now, hope everyone has a good day!
I really do need to prepare better, look for new ways to calm my nerves (maybe take it easy on the caffeine for once?), and slow down.That's all for now, hope everyone has a good day!
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Hi all! Me again. Not much to say other than the fact that we're starting spring break here, with no travel plans because we simply couldn't get our act together to make a decision. It's probably for the best, with my work schedule the way it is (plus this upcoming interview), but I want my kids to have some good experiences and not spend the entire week on the computer. 
We live in an area where you could live here forever and not see everything there is to see, so hopefully we can squeeze in a couple of day trips here and there. I hope everyone has a great day!
We live in an area where you could live here forever and not see everything there is to see, so hopefully we can squeeze in a couple of day trips here and there. I hope everyone has a great day!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi All,
Just a drive by for me - last few days have gotten away from me! Definitely lots of ‘posting in my head’ but not quite making it here! Will be back tomorrow to post and respond as have been reading and have lots to respond to PS and NL!
Just a drive by for me - last few days have gotten away from me! Definitely lots of ‘posting in my head’ but not quite making it here! Will be back tomorrow to post and respond as have been reading and have lots to respond to PS and NL!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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PS wow good luck with spring break. Is yours tied to Easter/Good Friday or is it always this late in year? We’re having a similar internal debate about the first week of summer. Somehow there’s an extra week and there are no camps plus it will be right after the legislative session ends so I want to do something fun and just not work. We’re torn between trying to go to Houston (and Galveston) which would be more expensive and more of a production. Or staying here and doing more of touring our own town and nearby sights.
Hope all are well!
Hope all are well!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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Hi all, wow - quiet here (both on this board and at home, since my husband took my kids out of town for the night!) I've enjoyed a lovely evening of overeating (sigh) and I'm getting ready for an early bedtime.
I was in a meeting this morning and we did an exercise based on our DISC assessments, grouped by similar types, and we had to plan a hypothetical vacation. After we reported out, our director said, "I'm surprised you guys didn't mention alcohol, because apparently that comes up often with your type!" and everyone was like LOL and I was thinking, alcohol didn't even cross my mind? Funny.
Hope everyone is OK - catch you later!
I was in a meeting this morning and we did an exercise based on our DISC assessments, grouped by similar types, and we had to plan a hypothetical vacation. After we reported out, our director said, "I'm surprised you guys didn't mention alcohol, because apparently that comes up often with your type!" and everyone was like LOL and I was thinking, alcohol didn't even cross my mind? Funny.
Hope everyone is OK - catch you later!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi All,
Sorry for being so quiet over the past few days - things have been a bit overwhelming with work. Essentially I've been the designated metaphorical punching bag for the past week, absorbing any and all conflicts and contentions between us and our clients, between colleagues and also the general stress of trying to run the business and keep on top of the standard mountain of tasks. Just a little weary of the bleakness of it all. I have found myself really wondering if there is an industry out there where people all just get along, treat each other with respect and fairness and acknowledge things with some gratitude every once in a while rather than just raining down on each other all the time. I've put on about a stone due to comfort / self pity eating, which really sucks as we are going away for the easter weekend with my hubby's friends to a tennis tournament they are playing in, and I honestly feel like even if I find something to fit me, I will look and feel awful for the whole extended weekend. On the up side, I've ridden every day for the past seven days as it has been my only respite from the drama going on, and I feel like I'm finally starting to bond with my horse - or rather that he is starting to bond a little with me! Hopefully this will bode well for less fussy behaviour on his part.
PS: Being a home tourist sounds like so much fun! Especially if you live in an area where there is lots to explore. Congratulations on the second round interview! When will that take place? With regards to the public speaking, it's funny - I still get a little nervous beforehand if it's a new environment or a particularly big or challenging group / context, but I always find that taking a few deep breaths and reminding myself that ultimately, the outcome is relatively insignificant, I just relax into it. Basically I get a bit overly philosophical and remind myself of the relative bizarreness of the universe and that the things we get hung up on day to day are so insignificant in the grand scheme of life. Unless it is quite a literally life or death situation, I remind myself that nothing is unsalvageable and we can all only ever do the best that we can do! Once I take the pressure off myself in that way, I usually free up my mind to just do my thing and say my piece. Sorry if this is not helpful - it's a little bit of an 'out there' manner of thinking, I appreciate!! Essentially I always feel that the best public speakers are the most relaxed, as it is much easier to flow and connect with your audience once you are open and confident, so any little way you can use to dispel anxiety or tension will surely help you to allow yourself to just shine. It's not about a perfect presentation, but rather being relaxed enough to manage any hiccups in a relaxed and easy way if and when you need to.
NL: That's really interesting about your friend. I have definitely found that since I've become sober, a number of other people have revealed to me their own struggles with or concerns about alcohol, too. I agree that a sober support group in the way of a circle of friends is so important. These days I much prefer the company of people whose sole purpose for socialising is not to just get drunk. Have you decided on a family holiday yet?
Hi to Dee, Sunflower, Scotty.
Sorry for being so quiet over the past few days - things have been a bit overwhelming with work. Essentially I've been the designated metaphorical punching bag for the past week, absorbing any and all conflicts and contentions between us and our clients, between colleagues and also the general stress of trying to run the business and keep on top of the standard mountain of tasks. Just a little weary of the bleakness of it all. I have found myself really wondering if there is an industry out there where people all just get along, treat each other with respect and fairness and acknowledge things with some gratitude every once in a while rather than just raining down on each other all the time. I've put on about a stone due to comfort / self pity eating, which really sucks as we are going away for the easter weekend with my hubby's friends to a tennis tournament they are playing in, and I honestly feel like even if I find something to fit me, I will look and feel awful for the whole extended weekend. On the up side, I've ridden every day for the past seven days as it has been my only respite from the drama going on, and I feel like I'm finally starting to bond with my horse - or rather that he is starting to bond a little with me! Hopefully this will bode well for less fussy behaviour on his part.
PS: Being a home tourist sounds like so much fun! Especially if you live in an area where there is lots to explore. Congratulations on the second round interview! When will that take place? With regards to the public speaking, it's funny - I still get a little nervous beforehand if it's a new environment or a particularly big or challenging group / context, but I always find that taking a few deep breaths and reminding myself that ultimately, the outcome is relatively insignificant, I just relax into it. Basically I get a bit overly philosophical and remind myself of the relative bizarreness of the universe and that the things we get hung up on day to day are so insignificant in the grand scheme of life. Unless it is quite a literally life or death situation, I remind myself that nothing is unsalvageable and we can all only ever do the best that we can do! Once I take the pressure off myself in that way, I usually free up my mind to just do my thing and say my piece. Sorry if this is not helpful - it's a little bit of an 'out there' manner of thinking, I appreciate!! Essentially I always feel that the best public speakers are the most relaxed, as it is much easier to flow and connect with your audience once you are open and confident, so any little way you can use to dispel anxiety or tension will surely help you to allow yourself to just shine. It's not about a perfect presentation, but rather being relaxed enough to manage any hiccups in a relaxed and easy way if and when you need to.
NL: That's really interesting about your friend. I have definitely found that since I've become sober, a number of other people have revealed to me their own struggles with or concerns about alcohol, too. I agree that a sober support group in the way of a circle of friends is so important. These days I much prefer the company of people whose sole purpose for socialising is not to just get drunk. Have you decided on a family holiday yet?
Hi to Dee, Sunflower, Scotty.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Just wanted to pop in with some positive news as my earlier post was a little on the rant-y side! I just had the most amazing riding lesson and really felt as though I’m improving (finally!!) and learning to take control so that my horse and I are working together as a team. It was just such a great feeling, it completely put all the stupid work stuff out of my head for a while which was a really nice break.
Hope everyone is having a great day!
Hope everyone is having a great day!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class,
Super early start today but it felt so good to get up early and be productive. I've decided to try and take back control and establish better patterns. We will be away for Easter weekend, but from Tuesday onwards I am going to make an adjustment to wake up earlier and get a workout in first thing, and be at the office an hour earlier. I'm also going to start eating better and get back on track in that regard. I hope a combination of better eating choices and working out will help with the lethargy and as a way to combat the work stress, as well as shifting some of the extra lbs I need to move!
Hope everyone has a great day!
Super early start today but it felt so good to get up early and be productive. I've decided to try and take back control and establish better patterns. We will be away for Easter weekend, but from Tuesday onwards I am going to make an adjustment to wake up earlier and get a workout in first thing, and be at the office an hour earlier. I'm also going to start eating better and get back on track in that regard. I hope a combination of better eating choices and working out will help with the lethargy and as a way to combat the work stress, as well as shifting some of the extra lbs I need to move!
Hope everyone has a great day!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Hi NC sounds like you are feeling a little more positive on the eating front but I hope you don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I know how you feel though. I don’t even step on the scale these days because I just don’t want to know. It’s not too much but I feel flabbier because work has made it so difficult to work out lately with the legislature being in session. This is so petty and weird but I’m already worried about our summer trip. My friends down there are retired and have been off booze and are apparently in the best health of their lives, which is awesome, and their son is still living their and he’s a super fit vegan. It’s so stupid but I have all this resentment towards people who have time to do things like cook or take walks or work out whenever they want. Including them. Which is stupid. It’s not their fault my life is a crowded mess. I also have a lot of preemptive irritation because my friend talks about how easy it was for her to stop alcohol and calls herself sober even though she literally fires up the weed pipe as soon as her kid leaves for his AA meeting, or at least that’s how it was. It is such a stupid set of things to focus on but for some reason I keep thinking about it. Maybe because we might go visit in a few weeks. Have to remember so much of what people say is about them not me.
I agree with your advice on the public speaking too. I also think about that a lot. Maybe not even on a cosmic scale but just even in the catalogue of human activity, it feels like a big deal but it generally only matters to the people in the room if it even matters to them. And everyone is most concerned with how they are appearing for the most part anyhow.
PS sounds like a nice quiet time at home.
Ugh. Speaking of flab I need to work out. Feel kind of like I’m getting strep but hopefully a workout will help. Blah.
I agree with your advice on the public speaking too. I also think about that a lot. Maybe not even on a cosmic scale but just even in the catalogue of human activity, it feels like a big deal but it generally only matters to the people in the room if it even matters to them. And everyone is most concerned with how they are appearing for the most part anyhow.
PS sounds like a nice quiet time at home.
Ugh. Speaking of flab I need to work out. Feel kind of like I’m getting strep but hopefully a workout will help. Blah.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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Hi all! NC, I love that you and your horse are on the same page, and you're able to have such a fun and relaxing time riding him. As for the weight, it sounds like we're all in the same boat. I know exactly what you mean when you talk about making plans and feeling like you will be uncomfortable in your own skin, which completely sucks. 
NL, I can kind of relate to what you're saying about your friend. I have a SIL who I'm very jealous of (hard to admit, but it's the truth). She always looks super cute, her husband is really supportive and cooks/helps around the house (!), her kids are high achievers, etc. If I didn't absolutely love her, I would hate her. It's interesting though, when I talk to her lately I can see that life is wearing on her the same way it's wearing on me, and some of the things that I take for granted (financial freedom, for example, or work schedule flexibility), she would love to have. I guess what I'm saying is that people who seem to have a perfect situation are either in denial about something major, or maybe have a clear-eyed view of life being what it is, and everyone's situation has its pros and cons that may help or hinder us at any given moment. Although it is hard when someone seems to have what we MOST want (in your case, it might be time to work out, in mine, it's someone with a less demanding husband).
Yesterday was 16 months sober, still kind of fun to count the months! Work has been crazy, I feel like I'm in completely over my head, so much so that I cancelled the interview I had with the outside organization because I simply didn't have the time or interest in killing myself to come up with a presentation on an area where I have NO subject-matter expertise whatsoever. I think it was the right decision, because I immediately felt more focused and purposeful about my "real" work.
Hi to Dee, and I hope Sunflower and Scotty check in soon!
NL, I can kind of relate to what you're saying about your friend. I have a SIL who I'm very jealous of (hard to admit, but it's the truth). She always looks super cute, her husband is really supportive and cooks/helps around the house (!), her kids are high achievers, etc. If I didn't absolutely love her, I would hate her. It's interesting though, when I talk to her lately I can see that life is wearing on her the same way it's wearing on me, and some of the things that I take for granted (financial freedom, for example, or work schedule flexibility), she would love to have. I guess what I'm saying is that people who seem to have a perfect situation are either in denial about something major, or maybe have a clear-eyed view of life being what it is, and everyone's situation has its pros and cons that may help or hinder us at any given moment. Although it is hard when someone seems to have what we MOST want (in your case, it might be time to work out, in mine, it's someone with a less demanding husband).
Yesterday was 16 months sober, still kind of fun to count the months! Work has been crazy, I feel like I'm in completely over my head, so much so that I cancelled the interview I had with the outside organization because I simply didn't have the time or interest in killing myself to come up with a presentation on an area where I have NO subject-matter expertise whatsoever. I think it was the right decision, because I immediately felt more focused and purposeful about my "real" work.
Hi to Dee, and I hope Sunflower and Scotty check in soon!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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PS yeah that’s very true about the pros and cons. And I guess also just being at different points in our lives. There have been times in our friendship when I had more time and bandwidth to take care of myself. And I won’t be in my current situation forever. I can’t. And maybe if she does the stuff where she brags about how easy it was to quit booze I”ll just be honest with her that it hurts my feelings because it sounds like she’s implying there’s something wrong with those of us who struggle mightily. I”m sure she doesn’t mean it that way but she’s kind of known in her family too for some of the tough stuff she says without meaning to. And if she says she’s sober I guess i just need to ask her why she chooses that word.
Got a big day ahead. Hosting a stuff swap in honor of earth day and in honor of getting rid of stuff. I’ve been working on it for weeks. Will be nice to get it over with. Have no idea how many families are coming through. Yikes!
Happy Easter/Passover to all of you as well!
Got a big day ahead. Hosting a stuff swap in honor of earth day and in honor of getting rid of stuff. I’ve been working on it for weeks. Will be nice to get it over with. Have no idea how many families are coming through. Yikes!
Happy Easter/Passover to all of you as well!
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Hi all, and happy Easter/Passover to those who celebrate!
We're going to be with my in-laws today, which will be really fun, and offer a chance to catch up with my SIL and niece (who is in her first year at an outstanding college, a kid who is super-together and also, mature and funny). Just like her mom, who is the aforementioned semi-perfect SIL.
I spent yesterday with another really sharp friend, someone who is smart and a great mom, and does a lot of things I know I should be doing as a parent. I guess I always assume that the people I know who are taking bold action - at work, as a parent, or just for themselves - have a supportive spouse who is willing to "let" them do what they want/need to do. But talking to this friend, it occured to me that it takes guts to take even small actions that will rock the boat or cause conflict (her husband sounds passive/possibly lazy, which is its own challenge), but we can't live our lives waiting for someone else to give us permission. In other words, I am too easily discouraged. In other-other words, I use my husband as an excuse for not doing things that I could easily just insist on.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the holiday!
We're going to be with my in-laws today, which will be really fun, and offer a chance to catch up with my SIL and niece (who is in her first year at an outstanding college, a kid who is super-together and also, mature and funny). Just like her mom, who is the aforementioned semi-perfect SIL.
I spent yesterday with another really sharp friend, someone who is smart and a great mom, and does a lot of things I know I should be doing as a parent. I guess I always assume that the people I know who are taking bold action - at work, as a parent, or just for themselves - have a supportive spouse who is willing to "let" them do what they want/need to do. But talking to this friend, it occured to me that it takes guts to take even small actions that will rock the boat or cause conflict (her husband sounds passive/possibly lazy, which is its own challenge), but we can't live our lives waiting for someone else to give us permission. In other words, I am too easily discouraged. In other-other words, I use my husband as an excuse for not doing things that I could easily just insist on.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the holiday!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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PS that seems like a great insight. Not that I think you are using him as an excuse necessarily — just that we can all examine the patterns in our lives where we look outside ourselves for the cause when really the primary cause is us.
I’m just saying hello. Up super early but not as early as I should be for my workout. Better get hustling!
I’m just saying hello. Up super early but not as early as I should be for my workout. Better get hustling!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
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Hi all! I'm stopping by while drinking the strongest coffee known to man - I need it, because I had a terrible night's sleep last night, and have so much to do today. Despite my best intentions, I feel myself going in circles and being unproductive when I have so much to do. Lots of challenges at work, careful what you wish for, right? I hope everyone is doing well!
I hope everyone is doing well!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class,
PS: Sorry about the bad night's sleep and the harsh workload - I know how that feels! Hopefully the caffeine is kicking in and getting to work!
Apologies for my relative absence, it's been a hectic few days (what's new). Though we generally had a nice long weekend away at the tennis tournament, it was very full on with long days and didn't help that after a long drive to get there, we were woken in the middle of the night by a raucous group staying in the hotel, running up and down the corridors and banging doors - including one man banging and yelling at our door. Ultimately we had to move to a different room at 3am. On the way home on Monday, a trip which should have taken 3 hours took 8 hours as we got a flat tyre and had to spent hours trying to get someone to come fix it and a small fortune for the pleasure as the tyres on my husband's car are non-standard. I also ate like crap all weekend and feel like it.
I've been run down since and actually vomited in the office yesterday (made it to the bathroom thankfully!!). We've also had some potentially detrimental news concerning the business and there are a number of contentious issues we're currently battling also. It just feels like it's never going to stop.
Sorry for the negativity dump, y'all, I just feel as though if I don't get it out, I'll implode. I love my husband dearly and he's the best in the world, but I feel in times like this I end up having to manage him as much as everything else as he has a tendency to act irrationally and fly off the handle when under stress, which means i end up taking most of the work on to try and take it away from him and also manage his behaviours so as not to cause any additional damage or flare ups with clients / colleagues.
Thanks for being here guys, back later with a more measured / positive post hopefully.
PS: Sorry about the bad night's sleep and the harsh workload - I know how that feels! Hopefully the caffeine is kicking in and getting to work!
Apologies for my relative absence, it's been a hectic few days (what's new). Though we generally had a nice long weekend away at the tennis tournament, it was very full on with long days and didn't help that after a long drive to get there, we were woken in the middle of the night by a raucous group staying in the hotel, running up and down the corridors and banging doors - including one man banging and yelling at our door. Ultimately we had to move to a different room at 3am. On the way home on Monday, a trip which should have taken 3 hours took 8 hours as we got a flat tyre and had to spent hours trying to get someone to come fix it and a small fortune for the pleasure as the tyres on my husband's car are non-standard. I also ate like crap all weekend and feel like it.
I've been run down since and actually vomited in the office yesterday (made it to the bathroom thankfully!!). We've also had some potentially detrimental news concerning the business and there are a number of contentious issues we're currently battling also. It just feels like it's never going to stop.
Sorry for the negativity dump, y'all, I just feel as though if I don't get it out, I'll implode. I love my husband dearly and he's the best in the world, but I feel in times like this I end up having to manage him as much as everything else as he has a tendency to act irrationally and fly off the handle when under stress, which means i end up taking most of the work on to try and take it away from him and also manage his behaviours so as not to cause any additional damage or flare ups with clients / colleagues.
Thanks for being here guys, back later with a more measured / positive post hopefully.
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