Class of March 2019 Part 2
Day 177
Patience. I am not known for my patience. Nor my gratitude.
What to be patient about now? I will be patient in my search for an apartment and better job.
Gratitude? What to be grateful for now now? Let's be grateful for friends, one of whom I bumped into today. Lets be grateful for family with me. Lets be grateful for being employed, for even though this is not the right field, it is a good one and many people all over the world struggle to have any job at all.
Love.
Patience. I am not known for my patience. Nor my gratitude.
What to be patient about now? I will be patient in my search for an apartment and better job.
Gratitude? What to be grateful for now now? Let's be grateful for friends, one of whom I bumped into today. Lets be grateful for family with me. Lets be grateful for being employed, for even though this is not the right field, it is a good one and many people all over the world struggle to have any job at all.
Love.
Day 200
Randomly decided to come on and holy cow! Its day 200!!!
I had some drinking thoughts lately because I had some good things happen. I got an apartment and in general my stress is finally lowering. But drinking is not the answer.
I have to be honest and I know that not posting here is a bad sign for me.
Randomly decided to come on and holy cow! Its day 200!!!
I had some drinking thoughts lately because I had some good things happen. I got an apartment and in general my stress is finally lowering. But drinking is not the answer.
I have to be honest and I know that not posting here is a bad sign for me.
Day 206
Does everyone else feel like me? So disjointed? I don't mean that I'm doing badly overall. I just mean I read a post for 6 days ago and its not me. Is this some kind of weird dissociation stuff?
Anyways I slept well and that always make a good day. I have a lot of my mind and I don't know. I just don't know why I ended up where I ended up or made the decisions I've made and a lot of them didn't work out the way I wanted. But isn't that EVERYONE?
I just wish I had my life more together as I near 30. That's really it. I wish I was farther along. Knew what was up, where I was going.
Love.
Does everyone else feel like me? So disjointed? I don't mean that I'm doing badly overall. I just mean I read a post for 6 days ago and its not me. Is this some kind of weird dissociation stuff?
Anyways I slept well and that always make a good day. I have a lot of my mind and I don't know. I just don't know why I ended up where I ended up or made the decisions I've made and a lot of them didn't work out the way I wanted. But isn't that EVERYONE?
I just wish I had my life more together as I near 30. That's really it. I wish I was farther along. Knew what was up, where I was going.
Love.
Hi Kinzoku
No, I feel pretty consistent these days but I am heading for my middle 50s now.
Looking for things like apartments and better job and paths to the future and happiness used to have me fairly changeable tho, I remember.
I was more than a little insecure.
I was a classic overthinker
I'm proof you can find serenity and some kind of surety in the end
D
No, I feel pretty consistent these days but I am heading for my middle 50s now.
Looking for things like apartments and better job and paths to the future and happiness used to have me fairly changeable tho, I remember.
I was more than a little insecure.
I was a classic overthinker
I'm proof you can find serenity and some kind of surety in the end
D
214
The motto of today was going to be "sometimes you mess up". But I don't like that because it implies you can fail, which I don't think you can. What happened is "sometimes things don't go as planned".
That's how my life has been for the last three months and today was no exception. But I have so many lovely people around me to help.
And I'm sober.
Love.
The motto of today was going to be "sometimes you mess up". But I don't like that because it implies you can fail, which I don't think you can. What happened is "sometimes things don't go as planned".
That's how my life has been for the last three months and today was no exception. But I have so many lovely people around me to help.
And I'm sober.
Love.
Day 232
I don't know how to unpack myself properly onto the page or do a confessional and I've gotten out of practice.
I have been happy but the truth is I've also been avoiding a few things. Steps forward but also back.
That's life eh?
I love you all very much and perhaps I will try to interact more.
Love.
I don't know how to unpack myself properly onto the page or do a confessional and I've gotten out of practice.
I have been happy but the truth is I've also been avoiding a few things. Steps forward but also back.
That's life eh?
I love you all very much and perhaps I will try to interact more.
Love.
Day 262
Well you know. The main issue of my life, my job hunt, hasn't gotten any better. And that stinks and I've been through a lot of pain in that regard and thinking about my future.
But I'm still employed somewhere and have possibilities, just not what I want. And I have friends and a lady in my life again and I'm healthy and I'm doing ok and I'm sober.
You know I cant' say I have a lot of answers or solutions for myself or anyone but I am blessed to be alive and to have all that I have. Even though I want so much more.
Love.
Well you know. The main issue of my life, my job hunt, hasn't gotten any better. And that stinks and I've been through a lot of pain in that regard and thinking about my future.
But I'm still employed somewhere and have possibilities, just not what I want. And I have friends and a lady in my life again and I'm healthy and I'm doing ok and I'm sober.
You know I cant' say I have a lot of answers or solutions for myself or anyone but I am blessed to be alive and to have all that I have. Even though I want so much more.
Love.
Day 264
Hey Tetrax! Glad to hear you are on the sober train, one month behind is small fries..small peanuts? What is the expression.
Thanks Dee, for the support.
I am sick and struck with melancholy and contemplation.
This is a period of my life I didn't expect. Mistakes. Directionless. I always, always have a plan I am executing on and right now...I just don't know.
I try to think: what do I want out of this life? I just don't have the answers.
I have some maybe. But they contradict eachother. Some seem impossible. It's crazy that I feel too old and I'm not even thirty but I do.
I feel like I let too many years slip by.
Love.
Hey Tetrax! Glad to hear you are on the sober train, one month behind is small fries..small peanuts? What is the expression.
Thanks Dee, for the support.
I am sick and struck with melancholy and contemplation.
This is a period of my life I didn't expect. Mistakes. Directionless. I always, always have a plan I am executing on and right now...I just don't know.
I try to think: what do I want out of this life? I just don't have the answers.
I have some maybe. But they contradict eachother. Some seem impossible. It's crazy that I feel too old and I'm not even thirty but I do.
I feel like I let too many years slip by.
Love.
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