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Class of March 2019 Part 2

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Old 08-26-2019, 09:44 PM
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Day 167

Busy day!

A busier one tomorrow

Thanks Zevin!

Love.
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Old 08-27-2019, 09:40 PM
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Day 168

First day, phew! I forgot how tough that was. Videogame fun. Feeling good. Tomorrow will be tough too.

Love.
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Old 09-02-2019, 11:20 AM
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Day 174

Well, world of warcraft came out so thats why you haven't seen me lol.

Still sober, working. Not as productive as I'd like to be but...your favorite childhood videogame only re-launches once.

Love.
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Old 09-02-2019, 05:42 PM
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Congrats on 174 Kinzoku

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Old 09-03-2019, 08:04 PM
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Day 175

Thanks Dee!

Good day at work, forcing myself to do a bit of productive things again today before I enjoy myself. Two interviews this week so I gotta stay on my toes.

Love to all.
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Old 09-04-2019, 06:12 PM
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Day 176

Sleepy day. Good day. Melancholy day. Now I must do chores.

Love.
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Old 09-05-2019, 06:35 PM
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Day 177

Patience. I am not known for my patience. Nor my gratitude.

What to be patient about now? I will be patient in my search for an apartment and better job.

Gratitude? What to be grateful for now now? Let's be grateful for friends, one of whom I bumped into today. Lets be grateful for family with me. Lets be grateful for being employed, for even though this is not the right field, it is a good one and many people all over the world struggle to have any job at all.

Love.
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Old 09-18-2019, 06:28 PM
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Day 200

Randomly decided to come on and holy cow! Its day 200!!!

I had some drinking thoughts lately because I had some good things happen. I got an apartment and in general my stress is finally lowering. But drinking is not the answer.

I have to be honest and I know that not posting here is a bad sign for me.
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Old 09-18-2019, 06:37 PM
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Congrats on day 200
I agree that posting and reading here every day centres my recovery

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Old 09-24-2019, 06:28 PM
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Day 206

Does everyone else feel like me? So disjointed? I don't mean that I'm doing badly overall. I just mean I read a post for 6 days ago and its not me. Is this some kind of weird dissociation stuff?

Anyways I slept well and that always make a good day. I have a lot of my mind and I don't know. I just don't know why I ended up where I ended up or made the decisions I've made and a lot of them didn't work out the way I wanted. But isn't that EVERYONE?

I just wish I had my life more together as I near 30. That's really it. I wish I was farther along. Knew what was up, where I was going.

Love.
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Old 09-24-2019, 07:56 PM
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Hi Kinzoku

No, I feel pretty consistent these days but I am heading for my middle 50s now.

Looking for things like apartments and better job and paths to the future and happiness used to have me fairly changeable tho, I remember.

I was more than a little insecure.
I was a classic overthinker

I'm proof you can find serenity and some kind of surety in the end
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Old 09-25-2019, 06:35 PM
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Day 207

Well thats good to hear that it can be done Dee!

I guess I am trying to be that way now, its just, man. Not easy.

Love.
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:03 PM
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The motto of today was going to be "sometimes you mess up". But I don't like that because it implies you can fail, which I don't think you can. What happened is "sometimes things don't go as planned".

That's how my life has been for the last three months and today was no exception. But I have so many lovely people around me to help.

And I'm sober.

Love.
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:35 PM
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New apartment set up. Good. Job going...good. Toxic relationships? None. Good friends? Yes. Sober? Yes. Problems? Of course.

Alive and greatful? Heck yah.

Love.
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Old 10-19-2019, 10:22 PM
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Day 231

Man, so happy to be sober! A year is on the horizon

Love.
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Old 10-20-2019, 05:27 PM
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Day 232

I don't know how to unpack myself properly onto the page or do a confessional and I've gotten out of practice.

I have been happy but the truth is I've also been avoiding a few things. Steps forward but also back.

That's life eh?

I love you all very much and perhaps I will try to interact more.

Love.
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Old 11-25-2019, 05:25 PM
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Day 262

Well you know. The main issue of my life, my job hunt, hasn't gotten any better. And that stinks and I've been through a lot of pain in that regard and thinking about my future.

But I'm still employed somewhere and have possibilities, just not what I want. And I have friends and a lady in my life again and I'm healthy and I'm doing ok and I'm sober.

You know I cant' say I have a lot of answers or solutions for myself or anyone but I am blessed to be alive and to have all that I have. Even though I want so much more.

Love.
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Old 11-26-2019, 05:04 PM
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I'm maybe a month behind you. This year's driving me crazy.
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Old 11-27-2019, 02:42 PM
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Its good to hear from you Kinzoku - continued best wishes on the job hunt

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Old 11-27-2019, 09:05 PM
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Day 264

Hey Tetrax! Glad to hear you are on the sober train, one month behind is small fries..small peanuts? What is the expression.

Thanks Dee, for the support.

I am sick and struck with melancholy and contemplation.

This is a period of my life I didn't expect. Mistakes. Directionless. I always, always have a plan I am executing on and right now...I just don't know.

I try to think: what do I want out of this life? I just don't have the answers.

I have some maybe. But they contradict eachother. Some seem impossible. It's crazy that I feel too old and I'm not even thirty but I do.

I feel like I let too many years slip by.

Love.
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