Dee74

Things will get better Vipe - you gotta believe that

D

snitch

Blusey!!!



CONGRATULATIONS!!!

A year is amazing, fantastic , awesome. A miracle!!!

You are doing so well. It is good to have a healthy fear of alcohol but try not to worry too much. Even if you did forget how bad it was, you have us here to remind you!!! Wow, going into your 2nd year of sobriety. How exciting. I've heard it's totally different to the 1st year. Keep going my lovely, we've got you!

Xxx

snitch

Morning all,

Ugh Erratic how is the painting going?? I need to decorate my place but keep putting it off!

Hey Daisy, the play sounded amazing! I wish I could have seen it lol! Yes that's a great idea about writing in the April thread. I cant believe that was us a year ago! Wow!

Aww Viper hang in there buddy. Unfortunately quitting alcohol doesn't solve all problems. Now you have stopped ingesting the poison you are faced with the reality of what's going on in your body and I am sorry, it sounds like it sucks, but I have faith that you will get to the bottom of this and will get better. Keep strong my dear friend 😎🐍

Hi Nichole good to hear from you! How are you doing sweetie?

I am good however have fallen off the healthy eating wagon (again) and also been spending money I don't have! I am noticing a pattern of addiction where of I am feeling low i want to eat and spend! For the euphoric rush! I am a true addict of so many things. At least I am not drinking which is great but I need to up my work around myself so that I do not feel the need to use something outside of me to try and make me feel better. Even writing this helps me see how my behaviour has a pattern and what I am hoping to achieve by eating sugary food and buying things I want but don't need. It will be ok.

Have a great day all. Will check in later 😘😘😘

snitch

Oh I forgot to say. On tursdays I have a service commitment at my AA home group. I am secretary (I know, get me right lol) which means I "take" the meeting. I give people the preamble, steps and traditions to read and I open and close the meeting. Well yesterday there were only 6 of us there and I was the one with the longest sobriety! Oh wow. Talk about responsibility!! And it was a great meeting (even if I do say so myself hahaha) I actually shared about what happened to me on Friday and how I nearly chucked AA in because of it and how I resolved it by using the steps and the programme. It seemed to spur the others on (well I know it did because they said so) to share really honestly from the bottom of their hearts. It was a lovely, intimate meeting. I was nervous at first because I wanted someone more "experienced" than me to be there but I am sober and I can share about how I got sober. My own experience, strength and hope.


Anyway I just wantes to share that with you guys. Love you all 💖💖💖

Daisybelle

13.35

Good afternoon Aprils, I hope you're all having a good day. It's gone very cold again here, the temperature has dropped to 6c so it's back to the winter woollies for me. I've not long been back from the dentists, I had a filling and now have a very lob sided face but on the plus side my lips look like they've been botoxed!

I'm sorry you're not having a good time of it at the minute Viper and I hope that your suffering passes soon. I think the alcohol must have masked your symptoms and hopefully your system will adjust soon to its new regime. Take good care of yourself. xx

The play was superb Suze thank you, I loved every minute of it, I'm still buzzing Ha ha you beat me to the April 2019 class, but good on you for posting there. I'll wait till the weekend I think.
Oh and I've fallen off the healthy eating wagon too, I'm actually munching my through a bag of crisps as I type! I need to get a grip.
Oh wow, get you indeed, being secretary to the service commitment group, that can only be a good thing. I'm very proud of you and all you've achieved.

Got to go now, back later. Love to you all, xx

Erratic

congrats bluesy!!!!!!!!

sry to hear u still aint right viper hun x i also got a phone call from docs to say one of my results came back and i have to take folic acid now, also said that the doc will see me on monday to discuss things, be interesting to see if its my b12 playing up again. nvm hope u start to improve viper x

thanks snitch the bathroom is coming on slowly but getting done x cool on being the sec for your AA group hun xx

daisy glad u had good time x also its wonderfull idea on you lot to go to april 2019 class x and its also not long till its ur year daisy xx

great to see u nichole x hope things are ok with u x

xxxNICHOLExxx

Sorry I haven’t been around much things hasn’t been so easy lately dealing with a lot of issues and not making the best decisions on handling them!!! today has been much better but still few things on my mind bothering me just trying to let them go and move on but I’m happy to be sober today
Hopefully y’all are doing lovely today thinking about you all best wishes

Daisybelle

Bedtime check in. I hope you've all had a good day.

Hi Erratic, good to see you posting, I reckon it's very likely to be your B12 if you need to take Folic acid and if it is at least it's controllable.
I've not been in the 2019 class yet, I'm waiting until I get my 12 months, not much pressure there then, lol.

I'm sorry you've got so much going on Nichole but well done on 1 day sober, that's always a good place to start. Big hugs to you. xxxx

I have a hospital appointment tomorrow to see my gastro consultant, not really looking forward to it as I've never seen the same person twice and it's so annoying as they never seem to read my notes and I end up having to tell them every time what's wrong with me.

Well I'm off to bed now and I'll hopefully be back here tomorrow. Much love to all of you. xxx

snitch

Hi all,

Middle of the night check in for me!

I am doing my step 4 at the moment and it is really eye opening. I was doing it last night before bed and I just woke for the loo and cant sleep as it is on my mind. Not in a bad way really just that am finding a lot of resentments I have are down to my own fears of feeling inadequate or not being able to say what I feel, it also shows just how self seeking I have been, always wanting what I want without any regard to how it may affect others. I went to a womens meeting yesterday and the topic was a step 4 discussion which was very apt and people sharing how cleansed they felt after doing it. I want to be free of all the resentments I have/had and some (most actually) of them have already disappeared as I can see the problem was not actually with the person I had the resentment towards but myself!

One of my friends in AA who shares the same sponsor as me and who came in at the same time as me, relapsed at the weekend. This is the 2nd time she has done so in 11 months. I haven't spoken to her yet but she text me to tell me. She said that she had one drink and then that was it she was off and running and even ended up buying cocaine. She said "I cant do life sober and I cant do life drunk. I am a loser." 😔😔 I told her to stop feeling sorry for herself and to thank God nothing bad happened, call her sponsor and get back on the horse! I am gonna be such a motherf#@king tough sponsor lol! Its really sad though when someone you care about relapses. There is also another girl in my group i have got friendly who i like but am really wary of. She is known to have been in and out of the rooms for years, always relapsing. She started work with a new sponsor about 7 months ago and she seemed to really want it but she waivers off. She has relapsed twice that I know of as she confided in me but in meetings she still claims 7 months sobriety. She asked me how I do it,??? She said her desire to drink is strong and that she always craves. I said to her i just don't ever want to drink again and go back to that place I was in before so I am willing to do whatever it takes. Her journey is her journey but I think I need to distance myself as being around an alcoholic who doesn't really want to stop drinking (her own admission to me) is dangerous to my sobriety.

I just need to share this though... there is a pub near my daughters school , I have drank in many times, and yesterday there were people sitting outside in the afternoon sun with their beers (not even my drink of choice!) but I felt a real strong desire to be able to go and sit there and enjoy myself with a few drinks . It was a horrible feeling!!! I told the voice in my head to do one and THINK of all the pain and misery one single drink would cause me. But it's made me realise that I am going to have to be super vigilant this summer. Summer drinking was a huge thing for me and last year was all about just getting through each day sober but this year with the memory of my last drunk getting more distant and feing good about myself and life, I have to be really careful but I will just take it one day at a time just like before. No way i am EVER going back to my old way of life. I do not think for one second i am "cured" or "immune" to alcohol. I am an alcoholic through and through, i can feel it in my bones lol.

Hi NIchole, am sorry to hear you are stressed lovely. Is there anything we can help you with?

Daisy I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. Its frustrating when you have to keep starting over with someone new. Remember the Serenity Prayer lol.

Ok, am gonna try sleep now. Seren is being picked up by her dad after school so at least it doesn't matter if I am too tired tomorrow.

Night x x

Daisybelle

10.50

Good morning my fellow April reprobates and I hope you're all having a good day. It's very cold here today, I had to scrape ice off my windscreen earlier but I have a warm coat and boots, I'll survive it. At least I slept last night, I've had a few sleepless nights recently, maybe I need to cut down on the coffee , but at least they weren't due to alcohol.

Morning Suze, step 4 sounds really in depth but you sound like your working hard on ridding yourself of those resentments. It is sad when our friends relapse, we can be there to help them pick up the pieces though, if they want help that is. You're right to be wary of someone who doesn't really want to stop though, your recovery has to come first every time.
Summer drinking is definitely one to be vigilant about, we can't afford to become complacent now we've come this far, that's happened to me in the past and there is no way I'm going to let it happen again.

Okay, I have to dash now for my appointment. Catch up with you again later. Lots of love to you all. xx

snitch

Hope everyone is ok?

Ugh I feel really flat tonight. I feel empty. I have been spending money on things for myself that I dont need and wanting to just stuff my face with chocolate and sweets although I have managed to resist doing that so far and I realised today I am still trying to use external things to make me feel better. Alcohol filled a void in me and the alcohol has gone and the void is still there. Gaping.

I am doing all the right things in terms of my recovering. Praying, step work, speaking to my sponsor, meetings, reading recovery lit, connecting with other alcoholics. But I feel something is missing. Like, I am having thoughts of what's the point?? I had these thoughts constantly when drinking but I never expected to get them in sobriety. I feel like I am only concerned with myself and my own wants and needs and it is not sitting well with me. Maybe I should try some volunteer work? I am meeting my sponsor in the morning so will have a chat with her about it. I just wish I was normal!!!!!

Ginna sleep and hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

Night x x

Daisybelle

Just popping in to say goodnight.

I'm sorry you're not in the best frame of mind tonight Suze. I hope you get a good nights sleep and feel better in the morning.

Goodnight all with lots of love from me xxx

Dee74

I was running out to physio that day and missed the line about your 1 year anniversary Bluesy - my sincere apologies but also my hearty congratulations

D

Daisybelle

Good morning Aprils

I must be first up this morning, hope you're all okay.
I'm up early and enjoying the peace and quiet whilst the rest of the house are still fast asleep. This is my favourite time of day.
I'm going to make myself a good cup of tea and have a shower, in that order.
See you all later and have the best Friday you can. xxx

Hope your physio session went well Dee.

Dee74

Its never fun Daisy but I'm getting somewhere

D

Erratic

afternoon x

nope daisy i was up at 4-30 lol getting ready for work.

its just a quick pop in and post, got dishes to do before hub comes home. Also after work i went and booked myself to get my hair done next week, its just took me 2 or 3yrs since i got it dyed properly lol so yeah its time to get rid of the grey. On the husband omg he sent message to me and daughter about his morning before going to work lol he said he was in such a rage, must of got out of wrong side of bed he said, that he walked out and put his jacket on and when at work and taken jacket off lol he only had tshirt on he forgot to put jumper or shirt on lmao, so he had to go and buy a jumper. God that made my morning while at work lol lucky he remembered to put on a tshirt and his jeans on lol

anyway thought just tell u this funny little story xx

snitch

Hope everyone is ok?

Ugh I feel really flat tonight. I feel empty. I have been spending money on things for myself that I dont need and wanting to just stuff my face with chocolate and sweets although I have managed to resist that so far and I realised today I am still trying to use external things to make me fill better. Alcohol filled a void in me and the alcohol has gone and the void is still there. Gaping.

I am doing alm the right things in terms of my recovering. Praying, step work, speaking to my sponsor, meetings, reading recovery lit, connecting with other alcoholics. But I feel something is missing. Like, I am having thoughts of what's the point?? I had these thoughts constantly when drinking but I never expected to get them in sobriety. I feel like I am only concerned with myself and my own wants and needs and it is not sitting well with me. Maybe I should try some volunteer work? Ak meeting my sponsor in the morning so will have a chat with her about it. I just wish I was normal!!!!!

Ginna sleep and hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

Night x x

snitch

That's weird. I wrote a post earlier but I must have pressed something and it's reprinted my old post from this morning.

I hope everyone is ok. I am not in a great place today and I had thoughts of drinking early evening. Not that I would have acted on them but the lure was strong. I am just feeling restless, irritable and discontent. My life seems pretty pointless at the moment and I just feel flat and unmotivated. However we ended up having a nice evening just had dinner at my friends but heck, I need to be honest, I wanted to share a couple of bottles of wine over dinner, kick back, relax, let loose! I know that is not my reality but tonight it bloody sucked!

However we are now home. Safe. I've got some peanut m&m's and gonna jump in the shower and then get into bed and watch a movie and chomp away.

Today has felt like a real battle and I feel tired fighting it. Hoping tomorrow is better.

Hope everyone else is ok? X x

Daisybelle

Checking in to say goodnight, well it's 3 minutes past midnight which makes it 6 April and that means I have 12 months sober today, wow a whole year and what a year it's been. Thank you all for helping me do this, for all your support and kind words, I wouldn't be where I am now without you.


I'm glad you're getting somewhere with the physio Dee, I know it can't be fun but bear with it.
Anyway, many congratulations on your milestone today, you're an inspiration to us all.

Oh Erratic, that story about your husband really, really made me laugh out loud. What a plank.
Good for you going and getting your hair done, I had mine done last week, colour and highlights. I don't like going to the hairdressers to be honest, I can't be doing with all the small talk like ' have you booked your holidays?' and 'are you going out tonight?' I just like being left alone, ha ha I sound like a right misery guts.

Awe i'm sorry Suze that you're in a bit of a funk at the moment. Just a thought though, do you think it could be partly hormonal? Please don't be offended by that, it's just that I've noticed that every few weeks you seem to be a bit down in the dumps. I hope you get a restful sleep tonight and feel brighter tomorrow.

Got to go to bed now, it's way past my bedtime so goodnight all and thanks again. xxx

Dee74

Thanks Daisy

Have a good weekend everyone

D