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Class of April 2018 Part 10

Old 06-24-2019, 02:45 AM
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Morning all

I am back in my hometown after spending the weekend at my parents. It's so good to be home. Have to wait in today as having some garden furniture delivered. But am back in bed. I've just been to the doctors as I am constantly exhausted. She has arranged for me to have some blood tests so am going to go to the walk in clinic tomorrow. I am fine in the morning nit come the afternoon I'm totally shattered and have no motivation to do anything. So we'll see.

Apart from that all is ok. The weather is a bit meh which is a bit depressing considering it is June and meant to be our summer but hey ho not much we an do about that hey?

Hope everyone is good?
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Old 06-24-2019, 04:38 AM
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Good morning Aprils, it's very quiet here, how are you all doing? I took my car in this morning for its annual M.O.T test, fingers and everything crossed that it passes.
It's very warm and sticky today, thunder forecast for later. It's not been the best June.

Hi Suzy,
I hope all goes well with your blood tests and I'm glad you're getting them done. Take good care of yourself. xx

Back later. xx

We can’t just choose to be happy, but we can choose to be kind to ourselves when we’re sad. Pain passes more quickly when we don’t berate ourselves for feeling it.

Lori Deschene
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Old 06-24-2019, 05:14 AM
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Hey y’all
Hoping your day is beautiful!!!!
I’m really starting to hate alcohol even though I’m still with sobriety and I know it’s very early I feel like crap not sleeping, sore and my lovely brain isn’t wanting to work the leg spasms stop I did have some moments where it felt like needles going through my hands and feet I’m guessing it’s all connected but hoping for the best today I’m going shopping for a lavender plant and some decor for flowers beds even though I don’t feel like i need to stay busy go keep my mind off drinking
Thank you all for the love support and advice always appreciate more then you know take care
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Old 06-24-2019, 12:07 PM
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Hey everyone

Aww Nichole bless you. How you feeling now? I personally didn't suffer from the sort of pains you are talking about from what I can remember anyway. If you are concerned then it is always better to see your doctor. Remember to take it one day at a time hon and keep posting. It is good to have you back here with us.

So I spoke to my sponsor for the 1st time in a good few weeks. She has 3 children, 1 is only 6 months old. Her partner (the baby's daddy) lives about 70 miles from her so she is on her own really, so you can imagine she is quite busy etc. Recently, the property she has been living in for 10 years has been sold and so she had to move out and because she isnt working, she had to be placed into emergency housing. So as you can imagine she has had alot on her plate. I have been busy too. I was I'll for a good week, I had 4 training days and I have just been to Africa. So we have kind of not really seen or spoken to each other but we have text. Anyway today she said to me "what's going on?!" I asked what she meant. She said that a condition of her sponsoring me was that I called her daily, worked the steps and attended regular meetings. We did have that agreement at the beginning but she was kind of lax on things herself. I have completed my step 4 weeks ago and have been waiting on her to fit me in to go through my step 5. Also, I said to her I hadnt been to a meeting for a while and that I do still want to go to meetings but that I dont feel that I need to go daily. I want to do other things with my time as well. I have joined a gym and a yoga studio and want to get into that. She said my recovery has to come first. I said yes of course I agree but I didnt get sober to sit in meetings my whole life. plus recovery for me also means doing regular exercise and exploring things that I would like to do. Sober. My sponsor is sponsoring me how she was sponsored and what works for her but that isnt necessarily what works for me. The more sober I get and the more work I do on myself, the more clear headed I am about what I want. And I do not want to call someone every day, I do not want to run every single thought I have or decision I want to make, by her. She has helped me so much in my early sobriety but I feel we are on different pages now. So we have parted ways. But omg, she said to me to be really careful and that she was "extremely alarmed" by my behaviour. I am not going to argue with her. My recovery is my recovery. I feel in a good place at the moment in terms of the tools I have to not drink. Sober recovery is a big part of my recovery plan too. I will still attend meetings, maybe one day I will even get another sponsor. But I want to live my life and to enjoy it!!

So that's where I stand at the moment and I feel good about my decision.

Grateful for ALL the different recovery methods out there and for open mindedness 🙏❤🙏❤
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Old 06-24-2019, 03:27 PM
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Hi all, just doing my usual bed time check in.

Great to see you posting again Nichole. I didn't suffer with spasms or pain either when I stopped drinking, but we're all different. Just be aware and if you do feel ill or are still in pain over the next couple of days, please do contact your doctor. Sudden withdrawal can be dangerous for some people.
Anyway, how did your little shopping trip go, did you get your lavender and garden decor? You're right it's best to keep your mind occupied but don't forget to get some rest too.

You're sounding better Suze and I do think you made the right decision for you regarding A.A and your sponsor. She really does have a lot on her plate with such a young family and her housing issues. You've not just parted ways with your sponsor on the spur of the moment, you've given it a lot of thought and I know you've posted on S.R about it and weighed up all the pros and cons. You know the score and what to do, you have plenty of tools now, SR being a big one and at the end of the day if you changed your mind A.A will still be there.

I'm off to bed now, so goodnight, sleep tight. xx
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Old 06-24-2019, 04:40 PM
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Good Night, Daisybelle!
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Old 06-24-2019, 04:52 PM
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good to see everyone fighting the good fight

D
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Old 06-25-2019, 12:52 AM
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just saying hi x
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Old 06-25-2019, 04:40 AM
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Hello ChloeRose and good day to you ( I think), if not then good night. xx

Good to see you back Dee, you were missed, I hope you are okay. x

Hi Erratic, I hope everything is okay. How is your daughter and how are you coping?

See you all later. Much love. xx
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Old 06-25-2019, 11:16 AM
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evening x

daughter got out of surgical ward on sat evening, with no answers to where infection was coming from and why there is pain. so she came home still unwell and went back to gp on monday, she said we will take bloods and do some tests themselves but if she is again being sick and in pain is she is advised to go back to hospital. so she has been given sick line and had bloods and other stuff done today and to go back friday.

on me i had another melt down on sunday, this time upsetting my boss as i asked if we could have staff meeting before he goes away on holiday so we could all be on same page, he said i am always negative and nothing is going to happen while he is away, which i said well i am still waiting for my date for op and u have the lady doing the shift opposite me who had some guy asking for a reference the other week and u haven't even spoken to ask to see if she is going to leave! he then said just close the shop! so we ended up saying bye and i left message to him about all i was doing was trying to make sure that things go smoothly when he is away and all of us on the same page, as our communication on anything seems not to be there as he wont actually say a thing or doesn't care or just says be positive. I also said i have had the most negative news and stuff happening for the past 2 weeks. So in the end i will just keep my mouth shut, get on with my job and if any crap hits the fan nothing to do with me! so will be there thursday and see what happens there.

so new week and i am sober.

good to see u all x

have good evening x
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Old 06-25-2019, 01:40 PM
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Daisy,
You are 5 hours ahead of us so your clock should read 8:40pm!
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Old 06-25-2019, 02:50 PM
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I get nerve pain flare ups Daisy but I'm working through it now - the worst is over - I hope....

I'm sorry your boss was not helpful erratic but hey - you tried

Hi Snitch Chloe, Nichole Vipe and Bluesy

D
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Old 06-25-2019, 02:50 PM
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Hi guys,

Bedtime check in. I want to make sure I post regularly here as even though I haven't quit AA entirely I want to make sure I keep my recovery at the forefront of my mind.

I dropped my daughter to school this am and came back home and slept for 3 hours! Tomorrow I will go to the walk in clinic to have my bloods tested . I am so tired all the time! After school, we both had the dentist for a check upwhoch was all good and then went to my friends house for dinner. There were 5 of us altogether plus the kids, bit of a madhouse, but the kids love it. We ordered pizza for them and we had thai. Then they opened a bottle of prosecco. I obviously didn't drink and one other girl didn't. Did I want to? Yes and no. They had one bottle between 3 of them. Omg,; what?! No way would that have been enough for me lol. We played a game and had a laugh. Apart from the initial opening and pouring of the drink, I didnt think much about it afterwards. We left at 7.30 to come home. If I had been drinking I would never have wanted to leave. Amd I know I would still be up now drinking more wine that I would have purchased on the way home. Do I miss that?? Hell no! Instead we got in, had a bath together and I put my little girl to bed. She is being a bit of a madam at the moment though and pushing my buttons. And I don't have the privilege of being able to have "one" glass of wine to unwind. Instead I pray for patience, tolerance and compassion. I am grateful I do not need to pick up a drink today to deal with parenthood.

So am about to go to skeep. Sweet sober sleep.

Erratic, I hope your daughter gets to the bottom of what's up with her. And wishing her well. Well done on being sober. That is awesome I am so pleased for you!!! You have explained to your boss how you feel but wow, of he can't be bothered then dont you lose sleep over it lol. Concentrate on you and your sobriety!

Nichole, how are you doing today?

Yawn! Am shattered. Night all x x
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Old 06-25-2019, 02:51 PM
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Hi Dee 👋👋
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Old 06-25-2019, 03:28 PM
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23.00

Good evening Aprils,I hope you're all well, sober and happy. It's been another wet day but then it cheered up this evening and apparently we are going to get some sun over the next few days. I'm fed up with all this rain we've had and am in desperate need of some vit.D, this must be the wettest June ever.
Other than that all is okay, I think my wayward son is up to no good again, but I can't control him, I'll just remember the serenity prayer and concentrate on staying sober.

Hi Erratic, I'm so sorry that your daughter is still poorly, you must be really worried about her, I hope she makes a rapid recovery.
No wonder you had a melt down at work, your boss sounds very lackadaisical, you've had enough on your plate this last couple of weeks without the unnecessary and ungrateful comments from him. You've tried your hardest to put him in the picture so if it all goes pair shaped whilst he's away he only has himself to blame.
Be kind to yourself and just focus on staying sober. You're doing good.

Thanks ChloeRose, there are so many people on S.R from so many places I forget whether it's day or night for them. I do try to put the time on my posts but sometimes I forget. Anyway I like it that you're posting in our little class and I hope you continue to do so. How are you doing and how long have you been sober etc?

How are you doing today Nichole, I was hoping to see a post from you but I suppose there's time yet. I hope you're okay and staying focused.

Oh I'm sorry you've been in pain Dee, I wondered if you were maybe on holiday. Nerve pain can be very debilitating so make sure you take good care of yourself.

Hi Suze, I'm glad you're getting your bloods done tomorrow, you need to get to the bottom of what's causing your fatigue. One bottle between 3 wowzers, when I was drinking I would have wanted one bottle to myself and that would be for starters. I'm so grateful that I'm not that person any more.
My g.son is being a little horror bag at the moment too, back chatting and giving cheek, he's very full on at the best of times but he's hard work at the minute, honestly give him an inch and he'll take a mile.

Good night all, sleep well and loads of love to you all. xxx
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Old 06-25-2019, 09:11 PM
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Hi all!

July 3rd will be One Year. As close as I can recon. Today is 354.

The thought of the night I was most likely having a year having a year ago tonight, seems like someone else’s life. Let’s just cut the detail and say I would have been utterly wasted.

I went through that brutal 6 weeks when I stopped. Man, I could not get out of bed. I started to get better slowly after that. Once that broke, I knew I couldn’t go back. I remember complaining about my condition, but not saying I wanted a drink. At least not much. I remember I was torn because I felt so terrible, and I thought it would go on forever.

I’ve tried hard this last 354 days. I’ve put myself out there, been kicked around, had some successes that seemed like failures. Just trying is a success.

Anyway, it’s midnight and time for this viper to curl up under a toasty rock and go to sleep so he can go out tomorrow and rule like fat Diamondback in the desert.

V 🔥🐍🔥
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Old 06-25-2019, 11:13 PM
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wow viper loved your post thats what i needed to wake up to.

cant wait for july 3rd but hey on 354 days your doing so bloody well!!!

thanks for all your comments on daughter x

sry dee that u have been unwell and glad to see u back, i guess i have been self centered and not thinking of you all here and your struggles x so again good to see you xx

be back later x

love and hugs to everyone x
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Old 06-25-2019, 11:39 PM
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no worries Erratic - Everyone has their own problems, y'know?

great going Vipe
D
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Old 06-26-2019, 11:14 AM
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Thinking of y’all
Still here and sober just have lots going on and a mile long to do list to get done in few days I need about a case of redbull to get through the next few days
Hopefully your day has been lovely take care
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Old 06-26-2019, 03:44 PM
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23..30

Good evening Aprilites, I hope you've all had a good Wednesday.

I had a lovely lunch today with my friend, I've only known her for about 3 years and she's nanna to one of the boys in my little g'sons' class. She has an amazing job as a prison chaplain and she has an adult son who is very similar to mine, in fact they know each other. I really like her, she's very down to earth, no airs and graces. We had a good chat about our wayward sons and put the world to rights. It was good to be able to talk to someone who truly understands. The food was scrumptious, we started with olives, bread and a garlicky dip, then I had Penne Arabbiata and we finished with coffee. I love Italian, but it was very spicy and very garlicky. I'm a garlic monster tonight, I reek of the stuff, I can smell it myself seeping from my pores so it must be bad, still it's a million times better than reeking of alcohol. Mr D.B is avoiding me like the plague, lol.

I love your post Viper, I just can't believe how positive you are now and what a brilliant sense of humour have. So next Wednesday you will have one year sober, wow, it's just amazing and I'm very proud of you.

Hiya Erratic, I'm always happy to see you posting. You need to start being kind to yourself, you are not self centred, you were extremely worried about your daughter and then you had that work nonsense to top it all.
We do all have our problems and it's good to vent here and get it out of our systems, it's far healthier than bottling it all up.

Thinking of you too Nichole and I'm so pleased that you're still sober. How's the aches and pains now, have they eased up? Keep going and work on each day as it comes, today is all you need to concentrate on. xx
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